...OH GOODIE !

only October 15th...

and I already know...
what I'm wearing...
for Halloween this year !

one of these...



at least between the hours of 8:30 AM to 10:30 AM...
& I'll wager that it won't be as concealing as this either...
[when you're my size, they never are...]

so what's up ?

a routine colonoscopy...
[I'm just thrilled...]

the good news[?]...

by doing it before November 1...
I don't have to pay a huge deductible...
[my health insurance plan changes then...]
and if it's negative...
I won't have to do it again for years...
[5-10 !]

the other good news[?]...

my current insurance & the referring medical group...
are in cahoots to save $$...
[for themselves, of course...]
by NOT authorizing a screening[routine]colonoscopy until age 65...
[at which time you go on Medicare and THEY pay for it...]

doctors start suggesting a screening at age 50...

if there is ANY family history of colon cancer...
it is started 5 years prior to the age at detection, or death...
of that family member who had it...

I had a good friend whose father died of it...
she was screened at age 45...

there is NO colon cancer in my family...
as far as I know...
[Mom had pancreatic cancer, she died at 94...
her mother had a stomach cancer that got her at 85...]

so I told this to the nurse practitioner [nice gal...]
who wrote it down...but wasn't too concerned...
due to their ages at death/diagnoses...
and, though the pancreas & stomach...
are part of the gastric system...
I have no pain, chronic discomfort...
or warning symptoms of potential problems...
[acid reflux, gastroenteritis, diarrhea, passing blood...]

so for me, this is purely a routine screening...

a few years past the recommended age...
due to my lack of family history...
and the misinformation...
that I would have to give up aspirin...
for a week, prior to the test...

with my arthritic problems...
there is NO way I could do that...
I wouldn't be able to move...

so after the consultation...
taking my family history...
discussing the procedure...
and remarking that my recent weight loss...
would make this procedure possible with the usual IV...
making things easier on me...
[patients over 300 lbs must be totally "out"...]

she also remarked that my blood pressure was good...
and all my blood work looked good...

so we were making the appointment...
when the med assist, who knows "billing"...
caught the insurance/referring group code problem...

she said,"uh-oh...
it's another one of those Megagroup/insurance...
"indicator/coding" problems..."

I would have to have "bad" family history...
or "indicating symptoms"...
in order to schedule the procedure...
or my insurance wouldn't pay...

so now...
Mom & Grandma's pancreatic & stomach cancers...
[death ages NOT mentioned...]
& the fact that I had a brief stomach ache last night...
[disappeared when I ate something...]
causing me to make a couple of trips to the bathroom...
[has also returned to normal...]

became the required "indicators"...
causing the procedure to become "indicated"...
instead of a "routine screening"...

they referred to it as a "Megagroup" coding...
apparently... they do it all the time...

so with the "drama" portion of our program now completed...
allow me to "enlighten" those of you ...
who are not yet familiar...
with this particular "rite of passage"...
[your turn will come...]

first... there's a clear liquids fast...
for 24 hours prior to the procedure...
including a proscribed fluid intake & laxative regimen...



starting at 8 AM...only clear liquids...
with my eating habits & water consumption...
this won't be too hard...

then every hour from noon to 9PM...
I MUST drink at least 8 oz of "clear liquid"...
at 4 PM... I take the Fleet Phospho-soda solution...
[FOLLOWED by the 8 oz of clear liquid...]
and at 9 PM...I take the 4 Fleet Risacodyl tablets...

in the morning, around 7AM...
there is a Fleet Bisacodyl suppository...
[that'll be fun...]

as with all "out-patient" procedures...
"a responsible adult MUST take you to and FROM the clinic..."
so I've enlisted "Square Peg" to drop me off...
and pick me up, "after"...

she's done this before...and has promised "colonoscopy jokes"...
[oh joy, rapture, bliss...]

I'm supposed to make sure I wear soxs & flat shoes[no problem...]
as well as a short sleeve top[OK...for the IV...]
and bring a sweater...[OK...]
they don't mention pants....
[I'm assuming they aren't optional...]
all things considered....
they're probably not a concern for them...
[since I won't be wearing any...
for reasons which will be very clear...
when you look at the next picture...]

so after "suiting-up"...
and getting the IV going...
the fun begins in earnest...





the "pathway"...
[that's why it's called a colon-oscopy...]



the endoscope has a long flexible tube...
containing control wires & fiber optics...
it has a mini-camera and a light on the end...
and is capable of taking a biopsy sample...
on the spot..of any "questionable tissue"..



the "camera-view" is shown on a monitor...
so the doctor can see everything...
[I will be either asleep or won't remember this part...]
all polyps and other "items" of interest...
can be seen, accessed & dealt with...





this is a diverticulum...
a small hole in the colon wall...
that allows a bulge[like on a bike tire inner tube]
that may become inflamed and painful...

almost half of all those 50 & older have them...
if they become inflamed...it's diverticulitis...
painful, but benign...



here, you see a polyp...on the top...
and a diverticulum on the bottom...
some polyps are benign, but most are removed anyway...



using a tool like this...
during the procedure... while you're still "under"...
the doctor removes the polyp...
which will be biopsied...



if it is benign... you have no problems...
if it is malignant...
more invasive surgery...
and treatments will be required...

after the procedure is completed...
you are moved to a recovery room...
once the IV is removed, you come around quickly...
and once you are "awake" enough...
you get dressed...
and wait for your "ride" home...
[I've done all this, before...]

they suggest resting for the remainder of the day...

the hardest part for me...
will be getting out to walk Molly...
as I should expect some soreness...
and Herself expects to have walks...
at noon... late afternoon...and before bed...
[she often gets a mid-morning walk...
as well as the early one...]

so she'll need one about the time I get home...

I'm sure we'll figure out something....

as for all those trick-or treaters...



I'll NOT be turning the porch light "on"...
not this year, anyway...