...following the path

sometimes it's very clear...



and sometimes...it's not...

so you proceed on faith...
doing what you know to be right...
and only that...
because this is NOT the time to become distracted...
and wander afield...

if you do...
you'll have to start the journey again...
and still have to deal with the consequences of your wanderings...

so much to learn...

I sit here...in swirling mist...

sometimes... a spot of light opens...
I walk towards it...
I step into it...
am enveloped by it...
and move forward...

then the distractions come...
all manner of bright shiny, whirling things pop up...
but always slightly off to the side...
if I look at them too long...
when I look back, my path is less clear...

and while I'm "trying to figure things out"...
the light on my path fades out...and the mists return...
the harder I try to figure out "things"...
the thicker the mists...the faster they swirl about me...
and then...I taste fear...

loosing my keys was a lesson...
I wasn't focused...
I let peripherals intrude on my task at hand...
I was "rushing" to do things...
not trusting that His timetable is not earthly...
and patience must be learned...

so he took my "time"... out of my hands...

looking back...

I see that He caused me to notice the jammed freeway...
and as I was trying to figure out HOW we could get north...
[alternative routes....]
I decided to "give it to Him"...and left it there[for a change...]
I later learned that the problem...[a fatal accident...]
was at the exit just below where we had to get on and go north...
and had I NOT noticed...and got on the freeway...
I would have been stuck...
unable to get off...
with my cell in my trunk...

as frustrating as the double trip should have been...

it wasn't...

and the only emotion I have felt since about the entire scenario...
is amazement at the way God teaches us to trust Him...

for me, the most important moment...
was when I said," Lord, if I find these keys somewhere in this car...
I'll be so glad to have found them...that I won't care that I made 2 trips"...

that's when I suddenly knew where to look...

I had looked past them, numerous times...
just missed them while feeling around...

just before I realized they were lost...
when I was heading home in Mudville...
I'd been planning on calling my chiropractor...
I'd been sore & all day...
I'd been bothered by a pain that felt like a nerve pinch...

as I survey the previous paragraph...
there are several "I"'s in a row...
maybe God saw that too...
and wanted me to know that He had things under control...

as much pain as I'd had all day...
by the time I returned home[after the 2nd trip...]
there was NO pain...
and it hasn't returned...

yesterday...I got an e-mail from a credit card company...
they had slashed my credit limit down to 1/3 the amount it's been for years...
[it was $33 K... & my "safety net...]
my record with them is excellent...
and my current balance is well below what my new limit is...

this is the result of our current economic problems...

availability of credit is drying up for everyone...
I'm sure the WAMU thing is also related...
[canceling my card, while encouraging me to use it...]
I'd had a zero balance on both of them for quite a while...

"before"...
I would have been deeply disturbed by the "loss"...
and the "safety net" it symbolized to me...
"now"...
I know that I am NOT fully trusting Him to provide for my needs...
if I am relying on such "safety nets"...

and I'm OK with that...

actually very calm...

had events transpired differently over the last year...
I would be in a blind panic...
trying everything I could to "find" another "net"...

every little step...
every grievous error on my part...
all the tears, pain & regret...
have brought me this far...

"and faith will bring me home..."

God is SO good...