...of wounds...scars & hiding in holes...

last year on November 25...this was my view of the world...

I was hiding...
from myself...
from the world I didn't fit in...
& from God...

or so I thought...
because He was about to change my life completely...
by reaching out to me, yet again...

I had turned my life over to Him before...and meant it...

but as the years passed...



things began to fall apart in my life...
because He wasn't the center of it...

I attempted to adapt to the world, as it pressed in on me...



but only succeeded in distorting who & what I was meant to be...
and productive change became almost impossible...


a change in direction was needed...



but I lacked the heart to try...
much that I had valued was gone...
and I was alone...



hiding in a hole...deep within myself...

I tried to fill-in the hole...
but the only things that grew there were a bad fit...



and didn't do much to fill the emptiness...
that was devouring me from within...

and when something did grow...



it was misshapen and unnatural...grotesque & toad-like...
only increasing the distance between me & everyone else...



life had hurt me...
leaving me shattered & broken...



some wounds...fresh & open...

others...



scarred over & festering from within...
"dry rot" of the soul...


but even there...deep down in that deep, dark hole...
the Light could shine...



and because of the Light....
even the grotesque scars could begin to heal...

and send forth new growth...
small & tentative...but a fresh start just the same...


I would like to thank God for those patient, kind & caring souls...
that he sent to look for me...and having found me...
they jumped in...and through His love, showed me the way out...

the past year has been a rocky road..& quite a learning experience...

yet here I stand... scarred & battered...
with a smile on my face, calm in my soul...
and Him...at the center of my life...

Praise the Lord !

now...what's next ?