...game over

it breaks your heart...
it is designed to break your heart...

the game begins in the spring...
when everything else begins again...

and it blossoms in the summer...
filling the afternoons and evenings...

and then as soon as the chill rains come...
it stops...
and leaves you to face the fall alone...

you count on it...
rely on it to buffer the passage of time...

to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive...
and then... just when the days are all twilight...
when you need it most...it stops...
and summer is gone...

[from "The Green Fields of the Mind",by A. Bartlett Giamatti]

for me summer ended today...

the SFGiants beat the LADodgers 3-1...
closing out a 72-90 season that was fun to watch...
the Dodgers will move on to the playoffs...
as will several other teams...
culminating in the World Series in late October...

but... as I previously said...
summer ended today for me...

it seems just yesterday that "pitchers & catchers" reported...
it was mid February...but really...just a moment ago...

I can remember looking at schedules
that stretched out over 6 months...
and thinking that it was "endless"...
now...it flies by...faster each year...

and none faster than this, my 60th summer...

I think of the connection between generations...

and our own transition from tutored child...
playing the game at recess...collecting "cards"...
and falling asleep in the plastic glow of the transistor radio...
watching the "Game of the Week"[ALWAYS the Yankees...]
on a greenish-tinged black & white TV with Dad...
arguing with classmates over favorite teams...

to becoming an experienced adult "fan"...
owning season tickets...attending games...
listening to or watching every game...
reading the box scores...
looking at the players as contemporaries...

and finally...the day comes...
when you realize that you are so much older...
than the "grizzled veterans"...
who are trying to hang on to their fading career...
at the advanced age of 38 or 40...

and the "kids"...the young strong heroes of your youth ...
your contemporaries... are 20-somethings...
and some don't even shave yet...

when you weren't looking...
you grew old...
the game stayed the same...
but you changed...

and as the chill winds of fall...
foreshadow the cold & wet of winter...

you feel the loss...
of much more than just a team to follow daily...

you've lost your youth...

baseball brings the promise of spring...
and the endless warmth of summer...
the joy and vigor of youth...
of dreams fulfilled... and wishes come true...

of even for a brief moment...
a glimpse of spent youth...
and remembered joys...

and hope...