...don't go shopping on a holiday

so I figured, "nobody will be shopping on Labor Day..."
[...I mean... it's 3:30 PM... people are, out...
doing stuff... just because I have "no life"...
doesn't mean everyone else doesn't...]

so I parked in the almost deserted parking lot...
[I drive about 10 miles round trip to shop there...]
got my reusable bags, got a cart, went inside...

stopped at the ATM... did what I needed to do...
grabbed a couple of in-store bakery bagels...
[the "everything"ones...yummm]
got some deli roast beef, turkey & tabouli...

Ensure w/extra protein...[2 for $14, usually $8.00+ each]
[mmmm... banana...]
bottled water [also on sale...]& snacks for the choir...
a couple of other things...[inc. EV olive oil...]
organic bananas, oranges, bell peppers...
[also on special...red, yellow, orange...$2.99 per lb]
and sweet white corn[really fresh...] 4 for $1.00...

so...I went to "check-out"...

and discovered that unbeknownst to me...

several dozen others had sneaked into the store...
filled their carts...
and had gotten in line at the 2 check stands that were open...
[the line for the "express lane" snaked around...
and down an aisle...disappearing into the meat dept..]



I considered continuing to shop... but I was done...
so I chose a line, that looked equal in wait time to the other...
[there were at least 6 people in front of me in each line...]

of course... I chose the wrong line...
[I always do...]

literally 15 minutes crawl by as the checker for my line...
follows company policy...and "chats"...

and because the 2 check stands that are open...
are right next to each other...
there is a bit of gridlock...
so once you've pulled-in as "next" to the check-out station...
you're blocked-in...

of course, it's at this point...when I'm "next"...
after at least 15 minutes of standing...
that someone opens up "next door"...
and I'm asked to "move over"...

since I couldn't back out and move over...
without forcing several people behinds me to also back out...
creating severe gridlock...
I opt to stay where I am...
after all...I'm next...
[right ? how much longer can it be ?]

but then I haven't considered MZ "Chatty Cathy Checker"....

everyone in the other line...
who was in line when I chose my line...
is not only gone, they're probably home by now...
eating what they purchased... while I waited...

and now that I'm "next"... I begin to understand why...

she's not only "chatty"... but she's inexperienced...
and seems to have the world's s-l-o-w-e-s-t cash register...
it's a good 10 minutes more before it is my turn...
and as I wait, I watch those several, who were behind me...
and who "moved", when I opted to "stay"...
leave with their groceries...

FINALLY... it's my turn...

I don't encourage chatting...
[I'm not rude... just wanting to be on my way...]
I ask the checker not to bag the Ensure in my cloth bags...
and then have to turn around and tell the bagger...
when he shows up...

she hands me a piece of paper...
I start to leave, after telling the bagger, twice...
that I don't need help "out"...
[they always argue...]

the checker says, "wait, your receipt..."
[the piece of paper she had given me was a coupon...]

so, after what seems like forever...
the s-l-o-w machine spits out my receipt...
AND...another coupon for something I don't need or want...

finally making my way to the car...
I load in my groceries...
3 bags half full...[one is choir snacks...]
2 flats of water...[for the church...]
4 6 packs of Ensure....
[& a partridge in a pear tree... just kidding...]

as I make my way home...
to load in my groceries...
then take my walk...

I attempt, purely as a mental exercise, of course...
to figure out HOW I ALWAYS manage to pick the s-l-o-w-e-s-t line...

and then I realize...

God must be teaching me patience...
and, after all... I AM retired...
and have all the time in the world...
or so it would seem...