...one down, one to go

as I sit here...
top lip s-l-o-w-l-y regaining its' feeling...
tongue running over "new" surfaces...
on several front teeth...
and finding bits of debris...
still stuck where it doesn't belong...

I breathe a LARGE sigh of relief...

my dentist is really a great person...
she takes my panic attacks totally in stride...
doing anything and every thing she can...
to "get me through"...



today was "re-bond the front teeth" day...
[technically, "3 small fillings" that cost me $155.00]
since my top & bottom front teeth meet evenly, like these...
they wear down and break off...
this is the 3rd bonding procedure...and each time...
I'm more of a basket case than before...

she gave me a shot that I swear to you I never felt...
[she is that good...]
she kept reassuring me and "holding my hand" throughout...

she is VERY aware of my phobias re laying too far back...
"stuff" running down the back of my throat, gagging me...
and things too far back in my mouth...

she's seen the panic attacks first hand...
so she does what she can to help me get through the procedures...



I got to wear the shades...
but she would fore go the "dam"[blue plastic sheet...]
making do with the "light" and lots of gauze pads...
the air blower made my mouth water...
which made me need to swallow...
so it was stopped...

she was also very "circumspect"...
re the use of the "water squirter thingy"... AND the "suction thingy"...
she let me sit more "up"...
even allowing me to move to an even more "upright"position...
"during"... when I started to "pant" a bit...

she figured out that I would keep my mouth open...
allowing the materials to stay dry and "cure"...
if I could swallow from time to time...
which I could accomplish with my mouth open...
if 2 people removed their hands and instruments...
and allowed me to swallow...

when I HAD to keep my mouth open...
she would tell me how much longer...
and allow me to push the gauze forward with my tongue...
when it started to get too far back...

yes...I know this makes me sound...
like the #1 wuss of all time...

pain doesn't bother me...
blood, needles, drilling, the smells...
oral surgery...root canals...extractions...
don't bother me...

laying flat on my back... or almost...
with stuff oozing down my throat...
gagging me...
while 2 people stuff a number of tools in my mouth...
wedging it open...
[you better know that chunk of plastic came out, fast...]
blowing air and water down my throat...
and it's panic attack time...

it's irrational and I can't control it...

I have to sit up..get everything OUT of my mouth...
cough... swallow... take some deep breaths...
and regain my composure...

I think it started with one of those impression trays...
the ones they fill with the oozing foam that hardens...
that you MUST leave in place for MINUTES...
[probably 3-5... seems like an eternity...]

NEVER used to bother me... not in the least...

then...one was put in my mouth a couple of years ago...
as part of a crown replacement on a back molar...
as I bit down, while leaning way back...
a big glob of the plastic foam oozed out of the back of the tray...
and started down my throat...

laying as far back as I was...I couldn't breathe...
and it triggered my gag/panic reflex...
causing me to sit up suddenly, tear the tray from my mouth...
coughing & wheezing...gasping for air...

my dentist wasn't too pleased...
until she saw the size of the glob that was going down my throat...
then she understood why I panicked...
since then...I've had this phobia...
and she is very understanding...
which I really appreciate...

so it's one visit down...
and one visit to go...
November 3, 2008... the crown prep...

I know that there will be an "impression tray"...
but this is a front tooth... a lower right canine....
so at least there shouldn't be "too far back" issues...

and I don't have to lay back... I can sit up...

and there is a void[missing molar] on that side...
so any extra "goo" shouldn't ooze out...

anyway, that's what I keep telling myself...