...a bit of Fluff

it isn't easy... being fluffy...
when you're this pretty...
NO ONE takes you seriously...



as a kitten, 17 years ago...
I was a star...

I should have been a model...
or on calendars...

and who did they say I looked like ?
Nermal...that annoying kitten in "Garfield"....

did they ever consider that just maybe
Nermal...
looked like me ?

I mean, really...
how can you possibly compare
stunning real life gorgeousness...
to mere cartoon animation ?



I was a stunner...
presented to Mom in a candy box...

popping out, when it was opened...
with both white paws posed together ...
SO prettily...

green eyes batting...
tiny pink mouth opened in a small "mew"...

I had been smuggled ...
on the school bus inside the box...
my owner's dad was going to ...
"get rid of me"...
[vile man that he was...]
and she knew that Mom...
her kitty loving music teacher...
would take me in...]

it was "love at first sight"...
Mom was putty in my paws...
and I was quite happy too...

until we got home ...
and I met ALL the others...
[who needs other cats ...
when I am sooo special? ]

Mom called me "Fiona"...
she was in one of her Celtic moods...
[I suppose I should be glad ...
it wasn't Sioban...]

I hated it...

stamped my dainty feet in protest...
fluffed my tail repeatedly...
batted my eyes... strutted my cuteness...
and finally got the name I wanted...

"Fluff"...

I got by on my innate "cuteness"...
for quite a while...
but some of the other kitties didn't appreciate my "specialness"...

they were mean to me...
calling me "spoiled"...
and "stinky"...
and "buttface"...

so when I got old enough...
to get away with it...
I lived outside...
in the back yard...
for a few years...

taking refuge in the garage...
coming inside on only the worst nights...

that showed them...
that I wasn't going to stay with them...
and be treated badly...

eventually, though...
I decided that I needed...
more "proper" attention...
[aka, "adoration"...
lavished affection, etc...]

and began to come into Mom's bedroom to sleep at night...

letting her comb out the matted fur & stickers...
take me to the vet for my "dental problems"...
[I NEVER flossed...
and paid dearly for it...]

clip my nails...
get me allergy shots...
apply flea medication...
and pay "proper" attention to me...
with petting,sweet talk...
and my own special bed...



eventually...

after the vet told her...
that I had only 1 tooth left...

[he actually laughed at me...
and called me "snaggle tooth"...
but he's cute & nice...
so I'll let it slide...
for now, anyway...]

I managed to "convince" Mom...
that I deserved Fancy Feast...

it wasn't hard...
I just acted pitiful...
and it worked...

after all...
I'm SOOO MUCH prettier...
than that cat in the ads is...

my eyes are greener...
my gray & white fur is prettier ...
and I'm SO much fluffier...

just a couple of years ago...
there were a bunch of us ...
who were "back yard" kitties...

I don't miss most of them...
conceited, selfish things that they were...
but I miss Sumo...

and Tippy...
we used to sleep together ...
and wash each others' faces...



there is STILL Piglet, however...
hateful, selfish & mean thing that she is...

she takes my bed...
just for spite...

and...

when Mom goes to bed...
or is just laying down...
if I present myself to be adored & petted...
as is my due...
[ I NEED my "Mom time"...]

she comes over...

and insinuates her nasty self ...
right between us...

the unmitigated gall of some cats !



I've told her off more than once, I can tell you...



and I'm sure ...
that I'll have to "put her in her place"...
again.... and again...
and... again...



but... all in all...
it's a pretty nice life...

I've got Mom trained ...
as to how to stroke my fur...
when to stroke my fur...
and to tell me how beautiful and special I am...

what to feed me...
when to feed me...
to let me "in" & "out"...as I please...
and when I need to have a "me" day...
at the spa..."Chez Vet" Mom calls it...

now...if I could only figure out...
how to keep Piglet out of my bed...
and my life... !