...the cats in the hard hats

I came to a bitter and expensive conclusion recently...

the contractor and I were discussing...
the first couple of days of demolition of the old bath...

the tub [cast iron] goes out...
NOT a small job...
all the tile & plaster on all 4 walls and floor go...
perhaps even the ceiling...

the sink & vanity... gone...
ALL plumbing for sink & tub/shower...gone...
the toilet will "go and return"...
to always be there at night...
the main waste stack may need to be moved...
it may have to be replaced...

medicine cabinet... gone...
double hung window... gone...
[at least for repairs...]
entire sub floor and walls surrounding tub...
gone...as far as the dry rot goes...



down to the studs... and perhaps...
beyond...



the floor will be "open" overnight...
[perhaps more if the dry rot is pervasive...]
the front door & screen door...
will have to be propped open, 24/7 ...
at least on the main demo days...

we may even have a debris chute out the window...

he called it "turn & burn"...
several men...
moving fast...
ripping out everything...
and hauling it away...

this is NOT "cat secure"...
on a very busy street...
or even vaguely, "cat friendly"...
when it's happening all around you...

they've dealt with construction noise before...
[the roof... the central heat & air installation...]
but those things were "above"...
or "below"...
and out of sight...

and the house was "secure"...

a couple of them, Sneaky Pie & Gracie, are SO snoopy...
and know NO fear...
committing "felinious assault" on anyone trying to work...
some of them enjoy getting into every one's way...
[Thomas...Lucyfur...Gracie & SPie...]
creating problems for fast moving workers...

the rest are, at best, wary...

& nervous...




at the worst... will become petrified...
hiding under or behind anything...
bolting out ANY open door or window...
anything to escape the noise and commotion...



not even coming out to eat...

so I'll have to relocate them for the first couple of days...

I'll distract them with one of their favorite meals...



smelly canned "people" tuna...

or maybe...
their all-time favorite meal...



rotisserie chicken... yummm !

they normally get what I don't want...
ie... back meat... skin...
I may just "go for it"...
and give them everything...



once they've stuffed themselves...
I won't need a trap...



or even one of these...



although the mere appearance of the carriers...
is often enough to provoke wide-spread "vanishing"...
I've been cleverly leaving them in the DR...



along with these...
[the vet has promised me the use of several more...]

and if I grab the biggest babies first...
[Thomas, Gracie, Frick & Charlie...]
I should get most of them without too much of a fuss...
[she said bravely...but, just to be safe...
stocking-up on band aids... ]




I will tell them that they are going to the "spa"...




when in reality... they will be going to "chez vet"...



during their sojourn there...
they will be checked, updated on vaccinations...
have teeth & ears "dealt with"....
claws clipped... etc...



and yes... perhaps even a b-a-t-h...
although Robbie's the only one...
who might have needed one...
and he's gone now...

my projected "start day"...
and the 2 or 3 days following...
[at this point September 9-11...
& no...the symbolism isn't lost on me...]
will be the worst... and are the target "cat spa days"...

my vet is already on "red alert"...

if we DO start demo on Sept.9, a Monday...
I will have to be up at "0-dark:30" ...
on the previous Saturday AM,"catching" cats...
and transporting them in stages...
as they won't all fit in one, or even 2 trips...
to the vet... who closes at 1 PM on Saturday...
and is NOT open on Sunday..
that leaves me up again at "0-dark:30" on Monday...
trying to catch any who are "slick" enough...
to avoid capture on Saturday...
as the workmen will arrive "early"...

if any just get so freaked that I can't catch them...
I'll leave my bedroom door open...
and they can hide in there until I can capture them...

I even purchased write-on, disposable collars for them...
so the vet won't get them "confused" with others...
or each other... there are a bunch of them...
he plans to house them apart from the "sickies"...
[but there will be noisy dogs... sorry, guys...]

when they finally come home...
a couple of them will plot revenge...
some will be pissed at me...
some will ignore me...
and a couple will NOT trust me...
for a good, long, while...

perhaps this is the correct moment...
for the rotisserie chicken...

someone remarked to me that it would be so strange...for me ...
to be alone...with NO kitties...
for several days...

the last time I lived alone... with NO cats...
was in the dorm in college...
[& that's not really,"alone"...]
almost 40 years ago...

so I guess I have never really lived alone...
without a furry friend...
not for long, anyway...

it seems strange to me...
when 1 or 2 are at the vet...

it will be a VERY long & lonely 3 or 4 days...

no cat hair in my food...
no cat squabbles to referee...
no trills for "pets, accompanied by pawing...
no head butts...or nudging...
no catly "messes" to clean up...
no "accompanying" me to the bathroom...
no jumping on my stomach while I'm sleeping...
no getting under my feet...
no strange "crashes" in the middle of the night...
no begging for food...
no climbing into my lap...

*sigh*

very solitary...very quiet...very dull...
and trés ex$pen$ive...

but it will be worth it...



so the kitties will be as unstressed as possible...
[if you can call being at the vet "un-stressful"...]

but they won't need any more vet visits...
for quite some time after this...

and I'll only have to worry about...
how I'm going to pay for all this...