staring at my cell phone after I wake-up in a deflated bed...
waiting for the mattress to pump back up so I can get comfortable...
and go back to sleep...
there are still only furtive signs of morning outside...
the morning that,"...joy cometh in..."[Psalm 30:5]...
I am calm and have not recently been,"...weeping all the night..."
but I am a bit groggy from too many sleep interruptions...
[stupid deflating bed... pesky Piglet...]
and need to get several things taken care of, including the bed...
but have NO money for that right now...
accepting myself as poor[not even the working poor, 'cause I'm unemployed...]
is NOT easy... it's come rather suddenly...
I have no options left, on my own...
so I must still trust God to provide as He's promised to...
the only other choice is complete despair...
and that's just not acceptable any more...
but BC has been pandiculating himself into numerous positions...
all in an attempt to destroy my calm & trust in God's keeping power...
my latest look at my bank account was a pretty nasty stomach punch...
but ALL my messages say that I'm on the correct path at the moment...
however, the closed doors & roadblocks must mean something...
so I'm working on obedience, putting Him first...
and remaining calm & trusting...
hoping that He will reveal His will soon...
that I will receive the wisdom to understand...
what I'm apparently NOT getting now...
but I'm in one of those places where,"being still & knowing He is God"...
counts for a lot... so I'm working at it...
maybe that's it... just stop asking & listen...
knowing He's God... trusting completely in Him...
making Him first with nothing else in the race...
can you be calm & confused at the same time ?
hopefully, the morning will dawn soon...
bringing joy in His providence...
God is good...
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