...you know the election is on the horizon when...

I need to put "premium" in my car...
and about a month ago...
I was paying $4.859 per gallon...

yesterday...
I noticed that it was only $ 4.499 per gallon...
I even saw regular for $3.999 per gal at one place today... !

since the news has been full of higher crude prices...
it took me a moment ...
then I realized why prices had started dropping a bit...

IT'S LATE JULY...THE ELECTION IS COMING...


[want to bet they'll be at this level...or lower, by November ?]

they did this for the LAST election too...
let the prices drop...
then after the election...BAM !
up they go...and blame it on "winter heating oil" needs...



I'm not sure that it would make any difference ...
WHO is in power at this point in our economic "free fall"
these are questions NO ONE has answers for...
and has anyone EVER been able to control greed...



which leads me to my new mantra...



I HATE politics... and ALL politicians...

am I going to vote ? ...yes...
for whom ? ...I have NO idea...

..."basin'" my design on this

I LOVE this basin...
[by Pegasus... oh, be still, my heart...
I am SO smitten...]

it is beautiful...
at 22.5" wide...[>2" wider than my current lavatory...]
and 16.5" from the wall...[<1" LESS than the current lav...]

it is elegant... has an 8" center faucet assembly...
comes ONLY in white...and costs $1,000,000...
[just kidding...actually...about $340.00 from HD online...]

a statement piece, if ever there was one...
more "art"... than functional "fixture"...
evoking a bygone era ...when style was everything...
when men wore fedoras & trench coats...
and hope sizzled in the air...
even for the "world weary"...

my faucet choice...[in chrome... VERY period...]

with the porcelain "hot"/"cold" labels...
a "mere" $230.00 from Restorations...
a perfect style compliment for the basin itself...

and of course...
I had to find a complimentary shower head/faucet set...
[there will be NO tub... "period" shower only ones are harder to find...]



this American Standard set appears very similar to the basin faucet set...
[I MAY swap out the head, if I get the urge...]
and is only $150.00...
in chrome... of course...

then... since I have to replace the toilet...



this Kohler one compliments the style of the basin...
[squared-off base, deco lines...]
is 17" high...has advanced water conservation features...
is available in white...and is just $240.00...
and does come with a chrome flush handle...
but no seat...which is OK with me...

I am partial to wooden seats...
and will gladly purchase a "round" one...
since this toilet is NOT the "elongated" style...
[round is more "period"...]

why not just purchase the one designed to go with the basin ?
it is very $$$ [$550.00]...
and has a flush "button" on the top...
I can just see, or hear, it now...
all night long as kitties jump up and down...
"flush, flush, flush..."

the same company makes a complimentary style...
without the flush button....
but I can't find it in white...
or if I can...only the tank is available...
not the bowl .... [?]
and everything they make is EXPEN$IVE !

no...
the Kohler will work nicely...
it has less "bells & whistles"...
and is, "less $$$"...
but who needs "b & w" from a toilet ?

which brings us to the medicine cabinet...
my current recessed, monolithic, unframed, giant mirrored one...
has always seemed to me to be "out of place"...

THIS...

will do nicely...

also recessed...
but matches my existing door and window trim...
also from Restorations...
a mere $130.00...
primed, ready to paint...
with chrome hardware...

if I can find a complimentary simple shelf unit...
to hang on the wall...
I probably will...

there are ALWAYS necessary "accessories"...
and these, from the Kohler "Memoirs" collection...
[ the toilet is also from that collection...]
in chrome, would work nicely...



the biggest problem here is that this stuff is EXPENSIVE !
this set costs $519.99...
and includes a couple of pieces I don't really need...
[a "robe hook", "towel ring" & TP holder...]

if I get the shelf, or 2...[at $179.00 each...]
and a towel bar or 2...[at $129.00 each...]
and the TP holder...if my ceramic one gets broken...[at $97.00 !]
that's almost the same total cost...

so these items are still being "considered"...
but these are "finish" items...
and can wait for purchase...

I LOVE shopping online...

all of this took me about 1.5 hours to find ...
online...
I spent most of a day walking through showrooms...
as well as the "mega home stores"...
and saw NONE of this...

after talking to the contractor...
I have ordered all this stuff...
[that took only 15 minutes, since I bookmarked my choices...]
and along with all the tile I've ordered...
my LR/DR will soon resemble a bathroom warehouse...

[I'm having flashbacks of 6 months of range & cabinet storage...
not to mention over a year of "furniture in boxes"...
and months of painting/cleaning supply storage...]

but I'd rather have it here... waiting...
than have to postpone installation...
waiting for delivery...
a smart homeowner does NOT mess with contractors schedules...

now... I just need to hit the Lotto to pay for it all...

...more "de-tiles"

regular readers may remember these pictures...
taken at Bedrosian's Tile Showroom in Mudville...



having found my celedon green half round pencil trim there...
I came home... measured... let things "steep" a bit...
and returned today to order the green trim...
and explore all my other options...

so after ordering 30 trim pieces...[$$$]...
being the full service store that they are...
they referred me to a competitor's store...
because it was that brand that I had samples of... from HD...
and wanted "other" sizes, styles, etc...
and they didn't carry it...



so after getting quite lost on the "east side"...
[I DID teach there for over 20 years... and got lost then too... ]
I stumbled onto it in an industrial park area on my way home...
["you can't miss it... right next to 99..."
not the worst directions I've been given...but close...]

a very nice sales rep. looked at my samples...
showed me everything else that was available in black & white...
told me what had to be ordered and what was in stock...

she found me a 2" x 6" full bullnose cap in black...
[not available at HD...]
and a 3" x 6" subway style tile in black ...
to use around the base of the wall...
[ HD availability also zero...]

then she found me hexagonal floor tiles...
both 1" and 2"...with "dots"...which I don't like...
and without...which is traditional...
and I have always wanted...

the 1" ones are a bit "busy" for my taste...
[though, they are the most traditional...]
but, I really liked the white [no dot] 2" ones...
which come in 12" x 12" sheets...

[these on the right...in all white...
are like what I chose...]

so she called to find out details...
and found that they have been "discontinued"...

the sales rep told a very disappointed me...
that they had only 33 sq ft left at the warehouse...
and I had been figuring about 48 sq ft...

then I realized that I could do the shower floor in the 1" tile, if I had to...
there are "built-ins" taking up floor space ...
and... I could always do a border on the floor...
I did have to buy more of the 3" x 6" black than I needed...
so I would have plenty for a floor border...

this kind of math problem ALWAYS gives me a headache...

but having the option of extending borders...
is like a "get out of jail free" card...

so I'm thinking "positive" thoughts...
and am grateful that I pursued this stuff today...

so I had her call back the warehouse ...
and tell them that I wanted the 33 sheets that were left !
while she was at it...I ordered the black caps...
and the black & white 3" x 6" subway tiles I couldn't get at HD...
as well as the flat 1/2" x 6" black trim sticks...

after all... it's only $$$...

so what if I've now spent almost $ 1000...
and haven't bought the field tile yet ?
that will probably be the cheapest part...

the contractor will be surprised...
he wanted 6" x 6" tile on the floor...
but I LIKE this 2" hexagon...
and they come in 12" x 12" sheets...

as an example of my non-math brain...
she was telling me that there were 33 sheets...
she had already told me the sheets were 12" x 12"...
so then I ask her, " how many square feet that is..."

doh....

in my defense... I realized how stupid that was...
as soon as I said it...
she probably looked at my grey hair ...
and considered it, "normal"...

...ummmm, beer

I like my beer the same way I like my coffee...
straight... dark... and STRONG !

no limes... no fruity flavors...[ie raspberry...]
no watery "California Kool-Ade" ...
leaving a sour taste in my mouth...

just as I like double espressos, straight up...
I love stouts & porters...
and though using a glass will allow you to admire the color...
I prefer to drink from the bottle...
[I know... I'm a barbarian...
that's just the way I "roll"...
I don't use straws for other drinks either...if I can avoid it...]



my first "walk on the dark side" happened during college...
someone went on a beer run...
and returned with Anchor Steam...

quite a change from the pale lagers...
and I was hooked...
I still drank whatever I could get...
until I could buy my own...
but now, I had a "favorite"...

I still remember smuggling Coors "east"...
before the marketing area expanded...
but that was more about picking up some cash...
from all the mid-westerners ...

they would pay anything for Coors...
then I turned around and bought Strohs...
["fire brewed" in Milwaukee...]
still a lager... but darker... with flavor... !

my default beverage of choice for years has been....

it's GREAT with all kinds of food...
far better than that pale watery stuff...
for me ... it's always about the flavor...
getting "buzzed" hasn't been the goal since college...
when we drank whatever we could get...

[I've even been known to drink O'Doule's amber...
or Killian's Red... both non-alcoholic ...
they taste pretty good... especially with food...
and I really have substance abuse fears...
since I can be compulsive...
and don't need to add "drunk"...
to compulsive collector, clutterer, gambler and food abuser...]

when given the chance, however...
I always choose a porter... or a stout...
a meal in a glass...

since I know my compulsive tendencies too well...
to allow myself to "drink" alone...
[very often, anyway...]
I rarely get the chance these days...
to "indulge" in my favorite...
first tasted in a London pub... appropriately warm...

it was "love at first sip"...
[or "chew" as I remember characterizing it...]


[ I have a 4 pack I need to use...]

maybe someday...
I'll be in a place where I can indulge without fear...

until then... I'll have my occasional Dos Equis Amber...
and quote Homer Simpson...

"ummmmmm ... BEER !"

DARN !

it's empty already...

*sigh*

...bits & pieces

to recap...
with these colors & pattern of tile in my bath room...
[white field tile with black & celedon green trim...]
the black is the top...most of the walls will be white...
the black/green/black trim strip will be about 6" from the top...
of the 6' shower wall and the 4 ' other walls...



I'm trying to decide on having these "art tiles"...
[which are the same 6" x 6" size as the white field tiles...]
inserted in the shower wall...
as highlight tiles...
at about the 4' level...

so far ...there's been no input from anyone...

and I'm really interested in input...

I think that the style/colors would work...
and they look "deco-ish"...but I'm not sure...
I don't want them to interfere with the simplicity of the trim...

I could frame them...
and hang them as wall art...

decisions... decisions...

on another front...


I finally finished sorting books, etc...
sorting out about 10 boxes of books to "go"...
and about 5 bags of trash...

there was a small tragedy...
I knocked over, and broke my racu cat figurine...
the one that I had in the bedroom ...
so the kitties wouldn't destroy it...

*sigh*

20+ hours in...
and there are STILL piles....
everywhere...

besides all the boxes on the porch...
that I have to schlep somewhere...
[a used book store perhaps ? ]

*sigh*

now... where did I put that Excedrin ?

...begun, is half-done ?

I don't know who the "genius" was who said it...
but they never saw my "office"...



this is a "before" picture...standing in the hall...
notice the "cat tree", covered with junk...
it's in front of a large bookshelf...
[it was an unsuccessful attempt to appease climbing cats...]



here...you can see it...sans junk...
newly ensconced in the drive way...
obviously dragged out by me...
needless to say...there was a LOT of heavy lifting...
between the first shot and the next few...



this is the book shelf...
[yes...I wasn't making that part up...]
during the early stages of the "sorting process"...

as you can see...
there is an even larger bookshelf to the right...



in this "later stages" shot...
most of the sorting of the bookcases is complete...
there are still piles of magazines to toss...
but, "tomorrow is another day"....
and coming up fast...
[the blurriness of the picture is probably due ...
to the 12 hours straight I spent getting to this point...]

and...the cat infestation has begun...
starring, Gracie & Sneaky Pie...
[if those of you in the environs of Mudville don't see me Sunday...
I'll probably be either so stiff I can't move...
or buried under debris...]



but no matter what stage of the process I'm in...
and with or without feline depredations...
there are boxes of discards...bags of trash...
and boxes of "crap to be sorted"...

everywhere you look...

everywhere...



"...the woods are lovely... dark... and deep...
but I have promises to keep...
and miles to go... before I sleep...
and miles to go before I sleep..." *

*sigh*


* "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" Robert Frost

...bath decorating de-"tiles"

[I've had these 6" x 6" art tiles for years...
and am considering having them put in the shower...
as accent pieces...
any thoughts from anyone ? ...
I'm having trouble making up my mind...]

I've been EVERYWHERE online...
and to all the local mega stores...
looking for "celedon green"...

that ubiquitous "pale green"...
that was SO prevalent during the "Deco" period...

I finally found it at Bedrosian's...
I went there last because I knew they would have it...
but that it would "cost me"...

a few years ago... this color was "everywhere"...
now... everything is "olive"...
or a "sea foam"...which is too blueish for me...

I want to keep the traditional tile pattern style...
[craftsman/bungalow/deco...
similar to this pattern...]



I planned to use white field tile [6" x 6"]...
6' high on the walls in the shower...
4' high on the other walls...
which is just about 6" shorter than the current walls...


[my current bathroom...]

notice that all these tiles...
trim and field ...
are 4" x 4"...
there is some "cap" tile on the window ledge & threshold...
and some quarter round around the tub...
but there will be NO tub...
and I really am SO tired of this blue...

my plan ... was to use black & celedon green as accent colors...
then I could have a lot of color options for accessories...
but it all hinged on finding the coveted "celedon green"...
if I couldn't find it...I would go with black accents on white...
[period "correct"... but a bit stark... & boring...]

so, armed with my black trim and white field tiles from HD...
I went looking...
I found a lot of blue-green... sea foam green...
mint green... and "pale green"....

I found ONE example of celedon green in tile trim pieces...
[shown here with my black & white samples...]



the larger ledge cap on the left is too big...
as well as too light in color...
the small 1" x 1" sheet tiles would be too busy as trim...
and are, to my taste too light in color as well...

the darker "pencil half round" to the top right...
IS PERFECT !
the right shape... size and color !
just what I was looking for... !

it is 1/2" x 8"... a half round that will be set ...
between two black 1/2" tile flat trim strips...
at the top of the white wall tiles...
capped by a 4" high white strip tile ...
and then a 2" black cap...
[a bullnose or maybe a cap...]



here you can see the pattern blocked out...

the only problem...?

the same old problem...

I have expensive taste...

the celedon green trim tiles are 8 " long...
I need 28 of them... at $15.00 each...
that's $420.00... for trim tile....

*sigh*

...cat-alyst to be

lately... I feel that I'm waiting...
there is a lot to do...
and I'm trying to get things done...
but the "theme"... is "WAIT"...

the door may be closed... or not visible yet...
or maybe...not open enough at this point...
or it may be that I'm supposed to sit...
and wait for instructions...

because, once "in"...
I may be "stuck" for a while...

or perhaps...
I'm supposed to not DO anything...
just wait for "it" to come to me...
[not my "historical" modus opporandi]



my usual pattern in the past ...
has always been to try to put myself in a good position...
a position to try to take advantage of a situation...
to "take care of myself"...
to "pursue my passion"...

to gather everything I might possibly want...
surround myself with the security of "stuff"...
and wait to "pounce"...
smug... in my situation...



but no matter how "cleverly" I would plan...
my "goal" would often elude me...
or sit just beyond my reach...
leaving me confused and frustrated...


[I'm not sure who I identify most with here...
the frustrated cat...
or the oblivious bird...]



I have tried to change "things" before...
but often the changes I was able to affect...
were not very efficient, effective...or lasting...

I have changed my "look"...
attempted lifestyle changes and attitude changes...
but nothing seemed to work...
or if it did, "sort of" work...
it didn't last...



I so often tried to fill the "emptiness" I felt...
with "things"... a lot of different "stuff"...
all it accomplished was to give me something to hide behind...
leaving me unhappy AND lonely...
hiding there... behind all that stuff...



after many struggles...I just gave up...
and set about "pleasing myself"...
at least I could be "distracted" as time passed...

distracted from the pain, failure and loneliness...
that haunted me... dogging my existence with darkness...

then... last November...
I was "roused" from my downward spiral...
and things haven't been dull since then...
as "Aslan" made His presence felt in this cat's life...



there have been "highs" and "lows"...
a lot of failures faced... losses accepted...
many messages delivered...
followed as best I could understand...

with varying degrees of success...
depending on my ability to understand the message...
surrender...and follow instructions...

as I have been transformed... so has my ability...
to understand both the message...
and the method...
of being "still"... being thankful...trusting...
and...waiting...

and the over-riding message I have now...
is to "wait"...

I will be told what and how...
when it is time to act...
to just "follow instructions"...
and go forward unafraid...




that God is transforming me...
into the person I was meant to be...
[that's a good thing...
I've had enough of who I have always been...]

and will lead me into and through any situations...
that will be in my path...



that "He must increase...I must decrease"...

and that, "less" ... is always "more"...

...the results are [mostly] in

my "med fest" of annual check-ups & tests...
is mostly over...

"mostly" since the mam-o-squeeze is next week...
the pap results aren't in yet...
and... I have to meet with the gastroenterologist...
to see about a colonoscopy...

all the rules say, "no aspirin" for 7 days, before...
my arthritis wouldn't let me go that long without it...
so we're having a "consultation"....

there's NO history of any colorectal cancer in my family...
but HMO's have "rules"...
and my impending birthday requires me...
to at least discuss the colonoscopy...
[sigh]

then there was the DPT booster I was surprised to learn that I needed...
[now, I can step on rusty nails with impunity...]

at the dentist's, I learned that I have 2 cracks...
and a small cavity near an old amalgam filling...
all in the same tooth...
which will probably need to be crowned...[$igh]

also 3 front teeth need to be "re-bonded"...
as they have chipped down with normal wear...

I'm supposed to have 100% coverage...
[a carry-over from a deal I took advantage of 30 years ago...]
it's always been 100% before...
hopefully... it is still that...
[they're "checking"...]
or I'm really $crewed...

that's the not-so-good news...

the good news... ?

the "mole" discovered on my back in December...
is an ordinary, benign, "age spot"...
not any kind of skin cancer...
no need for a biopsy...
VERY normal...
[whew...]

my lab tests showed improvement across the board...

my cholesterol is still "high"...but down 30 points...
my triglycerides which were way too high...
are now a "low normal"...
my HDL [good] cholesterol is up...
my LDL[bad] cholesterol is still too high...
but has dropped 16 points...

my blood sugar dropped to 3 points above normal...
[the "normal" level has just been dropped...
or I would have been "normal" now...]
my blood pressure was also good...
but it's always been low...

my doctor was very pleased...
and credited my improved health and test scores...
to my weight loss and exercise...

since all the cholesterol medications don't work with me...
[I'm one of those "few with a negative reaction"...]
it's been a struggle the last few years...
as both my weight and cholesterol levels rose...

so he's very happy to see progress being made...
in the right direction...

needless to say... he wants me to "keep going"...
he said that I seemed "different"...
and that it was "a good change..."

sometimes...it's nice to have a doctor...
you've known since junior high...

...Robbie update 1.1

Robbie seems to be "hanging in there"...
he's still pestering me for food...
and under foot, if he's awake...

this morning ...
there were "poop piles" only on the pads...
a departure from his usual
"equal opportunity location" choices, as of late...

tomorrow...he could be back to "anywhere"...
[not fun if "anywhere" is in front of the door...
while you're out... you open the door and...
well... you can figure the rest out yourself...]

but it's OK with me...
I'll deal with it...
the rest of the kitties and I will "deal with stuff"...
if it means we have Robbie with us a bit more...

he moves around fine and is not in pain....
besides the frequent face washings ...
he gets from Thomas & MJ...
he's everyone's favorite sweetie...
being groomed, kissed and nuzzled often...

I think they know his time is short...

this is really NOT for "sissies"...

...o joy...o rapture...o bliss...OB/GYN

as any "sister" will tell you...
this is NOT a "fun" activity...
and though I appreciate the need...
to "take care of myself"...
I dislike this invasion of my privacy...

oh... I know that pregnancy ...
and giving birth are SO much more invasive...
but I would imagine that you are "distracted"...
so it's "not so bad"...

[having never been pregnant...I may be wrong...
and if I am... please forgive my ignorance...]

the older I get...
the harder it is to "assume the position"...
everything about the exam is painful...
and some things I'd like to forget come flooding back...

I don't know if it's the very "white" exam lights...
the lovely exam apparel...
sitting in a strange place, in almost "nothing"...

the crinkle of paper covered vinyl ...
the paper sticking to me as I shift position...
nervously awaiting the doctor's arrival...

I think it's all of that...
along with the waiting room angst...

although this waiting room is decidedly different...
from the Melanoma Clinic at the Mt Zion Cancer Center...
there I sat looking at people who were in every stage of cancer...
some post-ops...with bandages covering large areas of their face or head...

others... like I was at first...
as yet, unmarked....
by that disease we all fear deep in our DNA...

old people... young people...
some aggressively cheerful...
others... quiet... withdrawn... resigned...

then you go in...
remove ALL your clothes...
put on a "gown"...only to see it come off...
bit by bit...
until you are standing, naked...

in front of several strangers...
who are looking "everywhere" you have "places"...
for any sign that the cancer on your thumb...
is only the "tip of the iceberg"...

even years after the surgery...
I had to be "examined" in this manner...
each time... the doctor would say ...
that I showed no signs of potential problems...

after the amputation of the top joint of my right thumb...
and a lymph node in my right arm pit...
tests showed that the cancer had not spread...
and they "got it all"...

but the experience has left me with an awareness...
of my own mortality that wasn't there before...
so as I enter on my "med fest"period...
I can't help being a little apprehensive...
if only for the "memories"...

I did the blood/urine lab tests on Friday...
in less than an hour, I get to have the pelvic exam...

tomorrow at 9:30 AM, I get my teeth cleaned...

then go to the "health insurance open enrollment"
for the school district "early retirees" and change my "plan"...
so I only have to pay a $140/pm "buy-up"...
instead of the $400/pm my current plan will cost next month...

when I was "working", and could have afforded a buy-up...
there was none...
now that I'm on a fixed income...
they keep raising the cost...

I shouldn't complain...
so many people have no health insurance...
I just wish there was a way to make it available to all...
without the inflated costs...

[my cancer surgery was an "out patient procedure"...
and STILL cost over $8500...in 2000...]

after I sign-up for the plan with the biggest deductible...
[the only one I can afford...]
I get to go to my GP doctor for the rest of my physical...
[I go to a woman for the OB/GYN...
because I'm more comfortable with her...
and I've known my GP since we were both in jr high...]

then next Wednesday...
I get the "big squeeze"...
[aka mammogram...]
also... no woman's favorite procedure...
but very necessary....

and I get to explain ...again...
what that piece of metal is...
that shows up in x-rays, etc...
under my right arm pit...
[a surgical clip... left on purpose...
after removing the lymph node...]

I do have an issue or two to ask about...
and really hope that I won't be frequenting
the waiting rooms of any more dermatologists...
so I've been a bit apprehensive...
but I'm trusting Jesus for a good outcome...
as the cancer "experience" proved to be...

time to go...
say a prayer for me....

"...fast falls the eventide"

not much to say...
a lot on my mind...
but no thoughts form ...
no words spoken...

trying to abide...
and just be still...

to be thankful and trusting...
and not sad...

it's just as difficult as it sounds...

...shhh

...morning song

not the metal-on-metal scream of the garbage truck...
but the full-throated song...
of an unknown inhabitant of a neighborhood tree...

not the chatter or screech of the blue jay...
not even the gentle call of the mourning dove...
but the joyful, absolutely necessary, burst of song...

that soars out and up...
rising to God with ever more elaborate trilling...
each phrase more passionate than the last....

until I am awake...
shaking off the chains of Morpheus...
eager to join the song...



God is so good...