...you know the election is on the horizon when...

I need to put "premium" in my car...
and about a month ago...
I was paying $4.859 per gallon...

yesterday...
I noticed that it was only $ 4.499 per gallon...
I even saw regular for $3.999 per gal at one place today... !

since the news has been full of higher crude prices...
it took me a moment ...
then I realized why prices had started dropping a bit...

IT'S LATE JULY...THE ELECTION IS COMING...


[want to bet they'll be at this level...or lower, by November ?]

they did this for the LAST election too...
let the prices drop...
then after the election...BAM !
up they go...and blame it on "winter heating oil" needs...



I'm not sure that it would make any difference ...
WHO is in power at this point in our economic "free fall"
these are questions NO ONE has answers for...
and has anyone EVER been able to control greed...



which leads me to my new mantra...



I HATE politics... and ALL politicians...

am I going to vote ? ...yes...
for whom ? ...I have NO idea...

..."basin'" my design on this

I LOVE this basin...
[by Pegasus... oh, be still, my heart...
I am SO smitten...]

it is beautiful...
at 22.5" wide...[>2" wider than my current lavatory...]
and 16.5" from the wall...[<1" LESS than the current lav...]

it is elegant... has an 8" center faucet assembly...
comes ONLY in white...and costs $1,000,000...
[just kidding...actually...about $340.00 from HD online...]

a statement piece, if ever there was one...
more "art"... than functional "fixture"...
evoking a bygone era ...when style was everything...
when men wore fedoras & trench coats...
and hope sizzled in the air...
even for the "world weary"...

my faucet choice...[in chrome... VERY period...]

with the porcelain "hot"/"cold" labels...
a "mere" $230.00 from Restorations...
a perfect style compliment for the basin itself...

and of course...
I had to find a complimentary shower head/faucet set...
[there will be NO tub... "period" shower only ones are harder to find...]



this American Standard set appears very similar to the basin faucet set...
[I MAY swap out the head, if I get the urge...]
and is only $150.00...
in chrome... of course...

then... since I have to replace the toilet...



this Kohler one compliments the style of the basin...
[squared-off base, deco lines...]
is 17" high...has advanced water conservation features...
is available in white...and is just $240.00...
and does come with a chrome flush handle...
but no seat...which is OK with me...

I am partial to wooden seats...
and will gladly purchase a "round" one...
since this toilet is NOT the "elongated" style...
[round is more "period"...]

why not just purchase the one designed to go with the basin ?
it is very $$$ [$550.00]...
and has a flush "button" on the top...
I can just see, or hear, it now...
all night long as kitties jump up and down...
"flush, flush, flush..."

the same company makes a complimentary style...
without the flush button....
but I can't find it in white...
or if I can...only the tank is available...
not the bowl .... [?]
and everything they make is EXPEN$IVE !

no...
the Kohler will work nicely...
it has less "bells & whistles"...
and is, "less $$$"...
but who needs "b & w" from a toilet ?

which brings us to the medicine cabinet...
my current recessed, monolithic, unframed, giant mirrored one...
has always seemed to me to be "out of place"...

THIS...

will do nicely...

also recessed...
but matches my existing door and window trim...
also from Restorations...
a mere $130.00...
primed, ready to paint...
with chrome hardware...

if I can find a complimentary simple shelf unit...
to hang on the wall...
I probably will...

there are ALWAYS necessary "accessories"...
and these, from the Kohler "Memoirs" collection...
[ the toilet is also from that collection...]
in chrome, would work nicely...



the biggest problem here is that this stuff is EXPENSIVE !
this set costs $519.99...
and includes a couple of pieces I don't really need...
[a "robe hook", "towel ring" & TP holder...]

if I get the shelf, or 2...[at $179.00 each...]
and a towel bar or 2...[at $129.00 each...]
and the TP holder...if my ceramic one gets broken...[at $97.00 !]
that's almost the same total cost...

so these items are still being "considered"...
but these are "finish" items...
and can wait for purchase...

I LOVE shopping online...

all of this took me about 1.5 hours to find ...
online...
I spent most of a day walking through showrooms...
as well as the "mega home stores"...
and saw NONE of this...

after talking to the contractor...
I have ordered all this stuff...
[that took only 15 minutes, since I bookmarked my choices...]
and along with all the tile I've ordered...
my LR/DR will soon resemble a bathroom warehouse...

[I'm having flashbacks of 6 months of range & cabinet storage...
not to mention over a year of "furniture in boxes"...
and months of painting/cleaning supply storage...]

but I'd rather have it here... waiting...
than have to postpone installation...
waiting for delivery...
a smart homeowner does NOT mess with contractors schedules...

now... I just need to hit the Lotto to pay for it all...

...more "de-tiles"

regular readers may remember these pictures...
taken at Bedrosian's Tile Showroom in Mudville...



having found my celedon green half round pencil trim there...
I came home... measured... let things "steep" a bit...
and returned today to order the green trim...
and explore all my other options...

so after ordering 30 trim pieces...[$$$]...
being the full service store that they are...
they referred me to a competitor's store...
because it was that brand that I had samples of... from HD...
and wanted "other" sizes, styles, etc...
and they didn't carry it...



so after getting quite lost on the "east side"...
[I DID teach there for over 20 years... and got lost then too... ]
I stumbled onto it in an industrial park area on my way home...
["you can't miss it... right next to 99..."
not the worst directions I've been given...but close...]

a very nice sales rep. looked at my samples...
showed me everything else that was available in black & white...
told me what had to be ordered and what was in stock...

she found me a 2" x 6" full bullnose cap in black...
[not available at HD...]
and a 3" x 6" subway style tile in black ...
to use around the base of the wall...
[ HD availability also zero...]

then she found me hexagonal floor tiles...
both 1" and 2"...with "dots"...which I don't like...
and without...which is traditional...
and I have always wanted...

the 1" ones are a bit "busy" for my taste...
[though, they are the most traditional...]
but, I really liked the white [no dot] 2" ones...
which come in 12" x 12" sheets...

[these on the right...in all white...
are like what I chose...]

so she called to find out details...
and found that they have been "discontinued"...

the sales rep told a very disappointed me...
that they had only 33 sq ft left at the warehouse...
and I had been figuring about 48 sq ft...

then I realized that I could do the shower floor in the 1" tile, if I had to...
there are "built-ins" taking up floor space ...
and... I could always do a border on the floor...
I did have to buy more of the 3" x 6" black than I needed...
so I would have plenty for a floor border...

this kind of math problem ALWAYS gives me a headache...

but having the option of extending borders...
is like a "get out of jail free" card...

so I'm thinking "positive" thoughts...
and am grateful that I pursued this stuff today...

so I had her call back the warehouse ...
and tell them that I wanted the 33 sheets that were left !
while she was at it...I ordered the black caps...
and the black & white 3" x 6" subway tiles I couldn't get at HD...
as well as the flat 1/2" x 6" black trim sticks...

after all... it's only $$$...

so what if I've now spent almost $ 1000...
and haven't bought the field tile yet ?
that will probably be the cheapest part...

the contractor will be surprised...
he wanted 6" x 6" tile on the floor...
but I LIKE this 2" hexagon...
and they come in 12" x 12" sheets...

as an example of my non-math brain...
she was telling me that there were 33 sheets...
she had already told me the sheets were 12" x 12"...
so then I ask her, " how many square feet that is..."

doh....

in my defense... I realized how stupid that was...
as soon as I said it...
she probably looked at my grey hair ...
and considered it, "normal"...

...ummmm, beer

I like my beer the same way I like my coffee...
straight... dark... and STRONG !

no limes... no fruity flavors...[ie raspberry...]
no watery "California Kool-Ade" ...
leaving a sour taste in my mouth...

just as I like double espressos, straight up...
I love stouts & porters...
and though using a glass will allow you to admire the color...
I prefer to drink from the bottle...
[I know... I'm a barbarian...
that's just the way I "roll"...
I don't use straws for other drinks either...if I can avoid it...]



my first "walk on the dark side" happened during college...
someone went on a beer run...
and returned with Anchor Steam...

quite a change from the pale lagers...
and I was hooked...
I still drank whatever I could get...
until I could buy my own...
but now, I had a "favorite"...

I still remember smuggling Coors "east"...
before the marketing area expanded...
but that was more about picking up some cash...
from all the mid-westerners ...

they would pay anything for Coors...
then I turned around and bought Strohs...
["fire brewed" in Milwaukee...]
still a lager... but darker... with flavor... !

my default beverage of choice for years has been....

it's GREAT with all kinds of food...
far better than that pale watery stuff...
for me ... it's always about the flavor...
getting "buzzed" hasn't been the goal since college...
when we drank whatever we could get...

[I've even been known to drink O'Doule's amber...
or Killian's Red... both non-alcoholic ...
they taste pretty good... especially with food...
and I really have substance abuse fears...
since I can be compulsive...
and don't need to add "drunk"...
to compulsive collector, clutterer, gambler and food abuser...]

when given the chance, however...
I always choose a porter... or a stout...
a meal in a glass...

since I know my compulsive tendencies too well...
to allow myself to "drink" alone...
[very often, anyway...]
I rarely get the chance these days...
to "indulge" in my favorite...
first tasted in a London pub... appropriately warm...

it was "love at first sip"...
[or "chew" as I remember characterizing it...]


[ I have a 4 pack I need to use...]

maybe someday...
I'll be in a place where I can indulge without fear...

until then... I'll have my occasional Dos Equis Amber...
and quote Homer Simpson...

"ummmmmm ... BEER !"

DARN !

it's empty already...

*sigh*

...bits & pieces

to recap...
with these colors & pattern of tile in my bath room...
[white field tile with black & celedon green trim...]
the black is the top...most of the walls will be white...
the black/green/black trim strip will be about 6" from the top...
of the 6' shower wall and the 4 ' other walls...



I'm trying to decide on having these "art tiles"...
[which are the same 6" x 6" size as the white field tiles...]
inserted in the shower wall...
as highlight tiles...
at about the 4' level...

so far ...there's been no input from anyone...

and I'm really interested in input...

I think that the style/colors would work...
and they look "deco-ish"...but I'm not sure...
I don't want them to interfere with the simplicity of the trim...

I could frame them...
and hang them as wall art...

decisions... decisions...

on another front...


I finally finished sorting books, etc...
sorting out about 10 boxes of books to "go"...
and about 5 bags of trash...

there was a small tragedy...
I knocked over, and broke my racu cat figurine...
the one that I had in the bedroom ...
so the kitties wouldn't destroy it...

*sigh*

20+ hours in...
and there are STILL piles....
everywhere...

besides all the boxes on the porch...
that I have to schlep somewhere...
[a used book store perhaps ? ]

*sigh*

now... where did I put that Excedrin ?

...begun, is half-done ?

I don't know who the "genius" was who said it...
but they never saw my "office"...



this is a "before" picture...standing in the hall...
notice the "cat tree", covered with junk...
it's in front of a large bookshelf...
[it was an unsuccessful attempt to appease climbing cats...]



here...you can see it...sans junk...
newly ensconced in the drive way...
obviously dragged out by me...
needless to say...there was a LOT of heavy lifting...
between the first shot and the next few...



this is the book shelf...
[yes...I wasn't making that part up...]
during the early stages of the "sorting process"...

as you can see...
there is an even larger bookshelf to the right...



in this "later stages" shot...
most of the sorting of the bookcases is complete...
there are still piles of magazines to toss...
but, "tomorrow is another day"....
and coming up fast...
[the blurriness of the picture is probably due ...
to the 12 hours straight I spent getting to this point...]

and...the cat infestation has begun...
starring, Gracie & Sneaky Pie...
[if those of you in the environs of Mudville don't see me Sunday...
I'll probably be either so stiff I can't move...
or buried under debris...]



but no matter what stage of the process I'm in...
and with or without feline depredations...
there are boxes of discards...bags of trash...
and boxes of "crap to be sorted"...

everywhere you look...

everywhere...



"...the woods are lovely... dark... and deep...
but I have promises to keep...
and miles to go... before I sleep...
and miles to go before I sleep..." *

*sigh*


* "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" Robert Frost

...bath decorating de-"tiles"

[I've had these 6" x 6" art tiles for years...
and am considering having them put in the shower...
as accent pieces...
any thoughts from anyone ? ...
I'm having trouble making up my mind...]

I've been EVERYWHERE online...
and to all the local mega stores...
looking for "celedon green"...

that ubiquitous "pale green"...
that was SO prevalent during the "Deco" period...

I finally found it at Bedrosian's...
I went there last because I knew they would have it...
but that it would "cost me"...

a few years ago... this color was "everywhere"...
now... everything is "olive"...
or a "sea foam"...which is too blueish for me...

I want to keep the traditional tile pattern style...
[craftsman/bungalow/deco...
similar to this pattern...]



I planned to use white field tile [6" x 6"]...
6' high on the walls in the shower...
4' high on the other walls...
which is just about 6" shorter than the current walls...


[my current bathroom...]

notice that all these tiles...
trim and field ...
are 4" x 4"...
there is some "cap" tile on the window ledge & threshold...
and some quarter round around the tub...
but there will be NO tub...
and I really am SO tired of this blue...

my plan ... was to use black & celedon green as accent colors...
then I could have a lot of color options for accessories...
but it all hinged on finding the coveted "celedon green"...
if I couldn't find it...I would go with black accents on white...
[period "correct"... but a bit stark... & boring...]

so, armed with my black trim and white field tiles from HD...
I went looking...
I found a lot of blue-green... sea foam green...
mint green... and "pale green"....

I found ONE example of celedon green in tile trim pieces...
[shown here with my black & white samples...]



the larger ledge cap on the left is too big...
as well as too light in color...
the small 1" x 1" sheet tiles would be too busy as trim...
and are, to my taste too light in color as well...

the darker "pencil half round" to the top right...
IS PERFECT !
the right shape... size and color !
just what I was looking for... !

it is 1/2" x 8"... a half round that will be set ...
between two black 1/2" tile flat trim strips...
at the top of the white wall tiles...
capped by a 4" high white strip tile ...
and then a 2" black cap...
[a bullnose or maybe a cap...]



here you can see the pattern blocked out...

the only problem...?

the same old problem...

I have expensive taste...

the celedon green trim tiles are 8 " long...
I need 28 of them... at $15.00 each...
that's $420.00... for trim tile....

*sigh*

...cat-alyst to be

lately... I feel that I'm waiting...
there is a lot to do...
and I'm trying to get things done...
but the "theme"... is "WAIT"...

the door may be closed... or not visible yet...
or maybe...not open enough at this point...
or it may be that I'm supposed to sit...
and wait for instructions...

because, once "in"...
I may be "stuck" for a while...

or perhaps...
I'm supposed to not DO anything...
just wait for "it" to come to me...
[not my "historical" modus opporandi]



my usual pattern in the past ...
has always been to try to put myself in a good position...
a position to try to take advantage of a situation...
to "take care of myself"...
to "pursue my passion"...

to gather everything I might possibly want...
surround myself with the security of "stuff"...
and wait to "pounce"...
smug... in my situation...



but no matter how "cleverly" I would plan...
my "goal" would often elude me...
or sit just beyond my reach...
leaving me confused and frustrated...


[I'm not sure who I identify most with here...
the frustrated cat...
or the oblivious bird...]



I have tried to change "things" before...
but often the changes I was able to affect...
were not very efficient, effective...or lasting...

I have changed my "look"...
attempted lifestyle changes and attitude changes...
but nothing seemed to work...
or if it did, "sort of" work...
it didn't last...



I so often tried to fill the "emptiness" I felt...
with "things"... a lot of different "stuff"...
all it accomplished was to give me something to hide behind...
leaving me unhappy AND lonely...
hiding there... behind all that stuff...



after many struggles...I just gave up...
and set about "pleasing myself"...
at least I could be "distracted" as time passed...

distracted from the pain, failure and loneliness...
that haunted me... dogging my existence with darkness...

then... last November...
I was "roused" from my downward spiral...
and things haven't been dull since then...
as "Aslan" made His presence felt in this cat's life...



there have been "highs" and "lows"...
a lot of failures faced... losses accepted...
many messages delivered...
followed as best I could understand...

with varying degrees of success...
depending on my ability to understand the message...
surrender...and follow instructions...

as I have been transformed... so has my ability...
to understand both the message...
and the method...
of being "still"... being thankful...trusting...
and...waiting...

and the over-riding message I have now...
is to "wait"...

I will be told what and how...
when it is time to act...
to just "follow instructions"...
and go forward unafraid...




that God is transforming me...
into the person I was meant to be...
[that's a good thing...
I've had enough of who I have always been...]

and will lead me into and through any situations...
that will be in my path...



that "He must increase...I must decrease"...

and that, "less" ... is always "more"...

...the results are [mostly] in

my "med fest" of annual check-ups & tests...
is mostly over...

"mostly" since the mam-o-squeeze is next week...
the pap results aren't in yet...
and... I have to meet with the gastroenterologist...
to see about a colonoscopy...

all the rules say, "no aspirin" for 7 days, before...
my arthritis wouldn't let me go that long without it...
so we're having a "consultation"....

there's NO history of any colorectal cancer in my family...
but HMO's have "rules"...
and my impending birthday requires me...
to at least discuss the colonoscopy...
[sigh]

then there was the DPT booster I was surprised to learn that I needed...
[now, I can step on rusty nails with impunity...]

at the dentist's, I learned that I have 2 cracks...
and a small cavity near an old amalgam filling...
all in the same tooth...
which will probably need to be crowned...[$igh]

also 3 front teeth need to be "re-bonded"...
as they have chipped down with normal wear...

I'm supposed to have 100% coverage...
[a carry-over from a deal I took advantage of 30 years ago...]
it's always been 100% before...
hopefully... it is still that...
[they're "checking"...]
or I'm really $crewed...

that's the not-so-good news...

the good news... ?

the "mole" discovered on my back in December...
is an ordinary, benign, "age spot"...
not any kind of skin cancer...
no need for a biopsy...
VERY normal...
[whew...]

my lab tests showed improvement across the board...

my cholesterol is still "high"...but down 30 points...
my triglycerides which were way too high...
are now a "low normal"...
my HDL [good] cholesterol is up...
my LDL[bad] cholesterol is still too high...
but has dropped 16 points...

my blood sugar dropped to 3 points above normal...
[the "normal" level has just been dropped...
or I would have been "normal" now...]
my blood pressure was also good...
but it's always been low...

my doctor was very pleased...
and credited my improved health and test scores...
to my weight loss and exercise...

since all the cholesterol medications don't work with me...
[I'm one of those "few with a negative reaction"...]
it's been a struggle the last few years...
as both my weight and cholesterol levels rose...

so he's very happy to see progress being made...
in the right direction...

needless to say... he wants me to "keep going"...
he said that I seemed "different"...
and that it was "a good change..."

sometimes...it's nice to have a doctor...
you've known since junior high...

...Robbie update 1.1

Robbie seems to be "hanging in there"...
he's still pestering me for food...
and under foot, if he's awake...

this morning ...
there were "poop piles" only on the pads...
a departure from his usual
"equal opportunity location" choices, as of late...

tomorrow...he could be back to "anywhere"...
[not fun if "anywhere" is in front of the door...
while you're out... you open the door and...
well... you can figure the rest out yourself...]

but it's OK with me...
I'll deal with it...
the rest of the kitties and I will "deal with stuff"...
if it means we have Robbie with us a bit more...

he moves around fine and is not in pain....
besides the frequent face washings ...
he gets from Thomas & MJ...
he's everyone's favorite sweetie...
being groomed, kissed and nuzzled often...

I think they know his time is short...

this is really NOT for "sissies"...

...o joy...o rapture...o bliss...OB/GYN

as any "sister" will tell you...
this is NOT a "fun" activity...
and though I appreciate the need...
to "take care of myself"...
I dislike this invasion of my privacy...

oh... I know that pregnancy ...
and giving birth are SO much more invasive...
but I would imagine that you are "distracted"...
so it's "not so bad"...

[having never been pregnant...I may be wrong...
and if I am... please forgive my ignorance...]

the older I get...
the harder it is to "assume the position"...
everything about the exam is painful...
and some things I'd like to forget come flooding back...

I don't know if it's the very "white" exam lights...
the lovely exam apparel...
sitting in a strange place, in almost "nothing"...

the crinkle of paper covered vinyl ...
the paper sticking to me as I shift position...
nervously awaiting the doctor's arrival...

I think it's all of that...
along with the waiting room angst...

although this waiting room is decidedly different...
from the Melanoma Clinic at the Mt Zion Cancer Center...
there I sat looking at people who were in every stage of cancer...
some post-ops...with bandages covering large areas of their face or head...

others... like I was at first...
as yet, unmarked....
by that disease we all fear deep in our DNA...

old people... young people...
some aggressively cheerful...
others... quiet... withdrawn... resigned...

then you go in...
remove ALL your clothes...
put on a "gown"...only to see it come off...
bit by bit...
until you are standing, naked...

in front of several strangers...
who are looking "everywhere" you have "places"...
for any sign that the cancer on your thumb...
is only the "tip of the iceberg"...

even years after the surgery...
I had to be "examined" in this manner...
each time... the doctor would say ...
that I showed no signs of potential problems...

after the amputation of the top joint of my right thumb...
and a lymph node in my right arm pit...
tests showed that the cancer had not spread...
and they "got it all"...

but the experience has left me with an awareness...
of my own mortality that wasn't there before...
so as I enter on my "med fest"period...
I can't help being a little apprehensive...
if only for the "memories"...

I did the blood/urine lab tests on Friday...
in less than an hour, I get to have the pelvic exam...

tomorrow at 9:30 AM, I get my teeth cleaned...

then go to the "health insurance open enrollment"
for the school district "early retirees" and change my "plan"...
so I only have to pay a $140/pm "buy-up"...
instead of the $400/pm my current plan will cost next month...

when I was "working", and could have afforded a buy-up...
there was none...
now that I'm on a fixed income...
they keep raising the cost...

I shouldn't complain...
so many people have no health insurance...
I just wish there was a way to make it available to all...
without the inflated costs...

[my cancer surgery was an "out patient procedure"...
and STILL cost over $8500...in 2000...]

after I sign-up for the plan with the biggest deductible...
[the only one I can afford...]
I get to go to my GP doctor for the rest of my physical...
[I go to a woman for the OB/GYN...
because I'm more comfortable with her...
and I've known my GP since we were both in jr high...]

then next Wednesday...
I get the "big squeeze"...
[aka mammogram...]
also... no woman's favorite procedure...
but very necessary....

and I get to explain ...again...
what that piece of metal is...
that shows up in x-rays, etc...
under my right arm pit...
[a surgical clip... left on purpose...
after removing the lymph node...]

I do have an issue or two to ask about...
and really hope that I won't be frequenting
the waiting rooms of any more dermatologists...
so I've been a bit apprehensive...
but I'm trusting Jesus for a good outcome...
as the cancer "experience" proved to be...

time to go...
say a prayer for me....

"...fast falls the eventide"

not much to say...
a lot on my mind...
but no thoughts form ...
no words spoken...

trying to abide...
and just be still...

to be thankful and trusting...
and not sad...

it's just as difficult as it sounds...

...shhh

...morning song

not the metal-on-metal scream of the garbage truck...
but the full-throated song...
of an unknown inhabitant of a neighborhood tree...

not the chatter or screech of the blue jay...
not even the gentle call of the mourning dove...
but the joyful, absolutely necessary, burst of song...

that soars out and up...
rising to God with ever more elaborate trilling...
each phrase more passionate than the last....

until I am awake...
shaking off the chains of Morpheus...
eager to join the song...



God is so good...

..."summer breezes" [quilt by Carol Taylor]

delicious summer breezes...
seep into my bedroom...
more an awareness of refreshment...
than cool or breeze...

God is good...

...Robbie update

I've been keeping a close eye on Rob...
I know he doesn't have much time left...
and today... after he didn't seem hungry...
[VERY unlike him...]
I took him to see Mr. Kind Eyes, my vet....

I already have a place for him in my garden...
under the peach tree, heavy with fruit...

the vet looked at him...
watched him walk around...
[not shaky at all...]
and told me that he still had "some" time left...

when he doesn't want any food or water...
THEN...it will be "time"...

so we came home...

the first thing Robbie did...
was to go to the dish...and eat...
THEN... wonder of wonders...
HE USED THE CAT BOX !!

he hasn't done that for a LONG time...

so I guess that he's telling me that he'll be "around"...
for a while yet...
[and he just returned to the food dish...
to have some more...]

I'm really glad...
because I'll really miss him...
when he's gone...

when I had so many...
I loved them all...
and losing one was always painful...

but with so many others around...
it didn't hurt so bad...

each one I lose now, really hurts...
maybe I'm tired of watching a loved one "waste away"...
maybe they're reminding me of all that are now, gone...

I just know that I'm really tired of loss...

so... I'm glad for a few more days with Rob...
[he just returned for another mouthful of food...]
because when he's no longer sleeping on the sofa...
my house will seem so empty...

...more "fun" with Chevron

does anyone else find extremely disturbing ...
the fact that Chevron gives you 5 digit boxes...
to the left of the decimal point...
on their billing statement...
in which to write the total that you OWE them ?

post script to "ARGH" post...
I received THIS bill
a couple of days after doing battle...
and paying my bill online...
today... I finally got them to "register" my account...
AGAIN... for "easy online access"...

...a .jpg is worth 1000 .txt

this has been a banner year for roses...



these pictures were taken from 6/25 - 7/5...



all the smoke in the air created a unique "filter" for the camera...



it kept the colors from being washed out in the "direct sun"...



allowing a rarely seen depth and intensity of color...



for the time of day... and year...



they are all gone now...



thanks to 4 days of intense heat [105 - 111 ]...



and a persistent wind...



I'll cut them all back tomorrow...



push some water at them...



and await the next explosion of color...



probably in a few weeks...if it doesn't get really hot again...



hope you enjoyed a walk in my rose garden...

...tired of it

...today's word...

...the word for today

...ARGH !

I didn't get to sleep until sometime after 2 AM...
so when the phone rang at 8 AM...
it woke me up...

I looked at "caller ID"...
the same gasoline credit card company...
that had been calling...
using a "recorded" message...
about how I could lower my interest rates...

since I only use this card to get my car washed...
I had been ignoring their persistent urgings...
to "lower my interest rates"...
[I HAD listened to it... once... ]

this time however, someone with a strong accent...
informed me that "my account was in collection"...
and did I want to make a phone payment...
to "bring my account current" ?

I always pay the entire balance...
pay my bill online...
and hadn't received a bill from them...
for a while...

"she" informed me that I had LAST "made a payment" online...
in mid-March...
and I needed to make a payment...
NOW... of $ 30.00... !!!
[what ? ...did I buy a gallon of gas for my mower ?...]
or I was going to be in "big trouble"...
[anyway...that was her tone...
and it made my sleep deprived brain, angry...]

so I informed her that "I would take care of it on line"...
and hung up...

childish... ? yes...
immature in the extreme... ? to be sure...
satisfying... ? OH... SO MUCH SO...

still trying to wake up...
I dragged my groggy self to the computer...
went to my bookmarks...
found the company...
clicked on the link...

"PAGE NOT FOUND"

so I went to my search engine...
typed in the company...
got mixed results...
had to keep refining to find "online accounts"...

[mind you... I've had an "online account" with them FOR YEARS...
my credit card expires in 2011...]

I finally find the RIGHT LINK...
try to log-on...
and it prompts me to "register"...
if I haven't used the site since 3/30/08...

since I paid my last bill online, on 3/15/08...
I have to register...

after scrambling to get my card...
[get dressed... clean up 3 "Rob surprises" in front of door...
throw "Rob mess" in the trash can, which I move to the curb...
go to my car... start to sweat... it's hot already...
find my purse... come back in... sit down ...]
I begin the "process"...

as I attempt to "register"...
the company website is NOT co-operating ...
the "safari keychain login prompt" reappears CONSTANTLY...
[so much for their "secure login"]
and finally tells me...
"we can't access your information at this time...
please try again later..."

so I wait...about 10 seconds...
and "try again"...

now... they are telling me ...
that my username and password are already "assigned"...
[yes, you morons...to ME...]

so I try my OTHER email address...
AND GET THE SAME PROMPT...!

so I try to sign-on...
using the names "already assigned"...
and get the prompt...
"username NOT recognized or inactive"...

I try the "other" username...
same response...

now, convinced that this #$*(^% site is "out to get me"...

I go to the "contact us" page...

finding the ubiquitous "800" number...
[REALLY hoping ....
that I don't have to talk to that same person...
that I hung up on...]



a perky automated voice prompts me to make "choices...
[I HATE perky...]

after choosing... 1 [English]... 1 [consumer]... 2[other]...
and entering my account number and last 4 digits of my SS#...
"ms perky automated voice" announces...
"I'm sorry... I can not help you at this time...
please stay on the line and your call will be transfered..."

I hear the phone ring... then silence...

until....

"if you would like to make a call...please hang up and dial again..."

THEY DROPPED ME !



with steam coming out of my ears...

[that has nothing to do with the current heat storm...
they expect 111/112 today & tomorrow...]

I go back to the "contact us" page...
find "online account help"...
and dial...
becoming evermore suspicious ...
that this is the SAME number I JUST called...

same perky automated voice answers [grrr]...
impatiently... I wait through the commercial...
[about how online access is SO easy...
and wouldn't I much rather do that instead ?]

then I enter.. 1... 1... 2... account #... SS#...
[it's hard to enter numbers with your fingers crossed...
but mine are as I wait for the "hand off"...]
it rings... THIS TIME... it works...
[that's 5 minutes I'll never see again...]

now a slightly-less perky automated voice...
[I like this one already...]
"guides me" through the menu...
1... 1... 2... 5... account #... SS#...

ms "slpav" informs me that a minimum balance of ...
"thirty dollars and zero cents" is due by July, 30th, 2008"
a "check by phone" is available ...
for the one-time fee of "ten dollars and zero cents"...

if I wish to proceed with blah, blah, blah... "press one now"...

this same format is followed as "she" informs me of the total balance...
[two hundred five dollars and twenty-eight cents]
then she says... "if you wish to make the minimum payment
of thirty dollars and zero cents... press one now"...
[I wait...]
"if you wish to pay the entire balance of....
blah, blah, blah... press two now..."
[I press 2....]

she then explains, again... about the fee...
"of ten dollars and zero cents" and askes me to confirm my agreement...
[I press 1...]

she THEN goes through the WHOLE total PLUS the fee thing...
and asks me to confirm that...
[I press 1]

then "she" explains where I can find my bank routing number...
[wow... really ? so THAT'S what that is...]
and I have to enter it, followed by the # key...
this is repeated for my checking account number...
also followed by the # key...
[they have ALL this info already...in my online account...
if they would have only let me access it...]

finally after reiterating the entire transaction we have just done...
word for word... number by number...
fee by fee... plus the grand total of...
two hundred fifteen dollars and twenty-eight cents...
including the ten dollar and zero cents fee...
for the one time payment from my checking account...
AND requiring me to "press one now..."
she starts to list all my options...

I've had MORE than enough... thank you very much...
so I hang up...
realizing that I've just finished doing ...
what the "phone lady" wanted me to do...
well over an hour ago...

and I STILL don't have my online account "registered"...
if my mail delivery wasn't so "suspect"...
I'd tell them...

...declutter update 1.1

no...I didn't go shopping for the entire block...
here are 21 bags of food...
on their way to the Mudville Emergency Food Bank...
[I also collected 7 bags of trash ...
there are 3 here because the garbage can is full...]



total weight of the donation... ?
same as I used to weigh...about 8-9 months ago..
ironic... isn't it ?

I also took several bags of misc. items...
to the donation station ...
of St Mary's Interfaith Dining Room...
[connected to the Mudville Homeless Shelter...
they provide a shelter for families...
as well as a men's shelter and a women's shelter...
and will take almost anything useable...]



this is the breakfast nook area ...
that had been cleaned out about a year ago...
and even though clutter collected...
it did remain pretty organized...

I got some donation items from this area...
but really not much...
there is still a box of dry goods...
[beans, split peas, lentils...in the store bags]



I'll go through the shelves...
[on the left in this shot...]
and toss the old stuff...
replacing it with the new...
then that box will be gone...



this is the "un-cluttered" kitchen counter...
the part you can't see is actually less cluttered...
than the part in the picture...



these are the pantry shelves on the utility porch...
this is where most of the donation stuff came from...
there are also wall shelves...
which are now almost empty...

I just really don't eat the kind of food I used to...
I had a lot of packaged & canned food...
a lot of it was a couple of years old...
but had been kept in a cool place...
so much of it was still quite usable...

I could have not bought food for a LONG time...
but I decided to let someone else...
who needed it more than I do...have it...

I know it still looks like a LOT......
but for a total packrat such as I have always been...
it is next to NOTHING...
at least...it's a good start...

there is still SO much sorting... discarding...
donating... organizing... yet to do...
in the nook/kitchen/utility porch area...

then there's the office... ARGH !

but for now... most everything "hurts"...
not so much my normal back/nerve pain...
this is arms... hands... shoulders...
neck... upper back...

feels like it used to when I used to do weight training...
after NOT doing it for a while...
or like when you move...
so I'm popping some Excedrin...
and taking a nap...

...September is the cruelest month...

one of the things I like most about my neighborhood...
is the presence of mourning doves...

in the warm weather...
both morning and evenings are filled with...
oo-wah-hoo-oo... oo-oo...
as they call to each other...

it's romantic to say that they "mate for life"...
when in reality, only 20% of all doves actually live an entire year...
and half of those... never see their 2nd birthday...
so they do, in essence, mate for life...



they're always found in pairs...feeding on the ground...
making that skittering whistle as they fly...
or if separated...
calling their mate...

there is a pair around here...
I see & hear them..
but there is also a single dove...
calling out...but never answered...



there is something so sad about it's solitary existence...
making it's song that much more mournful...
knowing... that it'll never be answered...

when I was a kid, growing up on the ranch...
I hated September...
not because of school...I liked school...
but September meant "dove season"...
it still does...

all summer long...the doves would serenade us...
morning and evening... with their call...
if we walked up around the ditch...
or to the "back 20"... they would "startle"...
and fly away as we walked by....

making that skittering whistle as they flew...
until they settled again... hiding in the brush...

on September 1st... we'd hear the hunters...
and it continued through the month...

the survivors would call...often in vain...
until they too were hunted down....

soon... the sound of distant guns would cease...
and eventually...the doves would return...
to provide the soundtrack of my peaceful life...
the next spring... and it all began again...

I'm very glad that they don't allow hunting in the city...
although I'm sure that there are plenty of people...
who would love to get a gun...
and blast away at the doves that I enjoy hearing...

and when September comes...
I'll smile as I hear them...
knowing that at least these...
are safe... from the hunter's guns...

"...as Kansas in August"

it's that time of year again...
fresh sweet corn was 5 for $1.00 at the market...
I know...I could go to the farmer's markets...
but this corn is grown locally for this local chain...
and is always good !

it's been $ .69 each...or 2...or even 3 for $1...
and I waited... and I'm NOT sorry...
I have lived where you could have the water "boiling"...
and then pick & shuck the corn...just before "the plunge"...
cooked that way...even field corn was good...

I have eaten sweet corn...
uncooked and unadorned...
grown in my garden...
while standing in my garden...

I have also lived in Illinois...
been to county fairs in the summer...
gone to a booth set up on the edge of a corn field...
where I saw loads of fresh picked corn ...
brought to the booth... straight from the field...

there the husk was shucked back & held onto...
for a "brief" dunk in boiling water...
then a dip into melted butter...

before having the husk swaddled in napkins ...
and thrust steaming,,,and dripping butter...
into my waiting hand...and mouth...
the most sublime corn I ever ate...



so yesterday... after selecting my 5 ears at the market...
[at the store... I always pull back the husk ...
to check for "protein sources"...
disease... or under/over maturity...]
I came home to prepare my feast...



I pulled out my 6 qt Le Creuset stockpot...
added about 3 - 4 inches of water...



inserted my steamer...
covered it...
and turned the gas to high...
as I put the rest of my groceries away...

when I heard the lid start to rattle...
I shucked the corn...



broke the ears in half...
and put all 10 pieces into the steamer basket...
replaced the lid...
and turned the gas off...

a few minutes later... I sampled one...
[they were cooked in 5 minutes...]
sweet... tender... nice "tooth"...
not overcooked or starchy...
perfectly done...
didn't even need butter or salt...

this works perfectly every time...
the "passive steam" method....
it's as close as I can get ...
to that "Illinois"county fair taste...
this side of the Mississippi River...

I generally eat butter very sparingly these days...
and with this product...
I can get as much buttery goodness as I want...
and STILL fight trans fats... and all those bad things...
[it really is good...and good for you...]



so the next time you're feeling "corny"...
["...as Kansas in August..." ]
try it cooked the Catsinger method...
it is actually quicker...
and... oh...so tasty !

"...a thing with feathers..."

hope...

a thing...
with feathers...
that perches ...
in the soul...

and sings
a tune...

without the words...

and never stops...
at all...


and sweetest in the gale ...is heard...
and sore must be the storm
that could abash ...the little bird...
that kept so many warm...

I've heard it in the chillest land...
and on the strangest sea...
yet never in Extremity...
it asked a crumb...of me...

["Hope" Emily Dickinson]

it "springs eternal"...
we hope "all things"...
it is the wind beneath our wings...
a whispered prayer...

it is where we are to live...
when we trust God with our lives...
and all that we need...
but, do we ?
hope...that is...



for so many of us...hope is easily "startled" away...
circumstances cause us fear or anxiety...
and our hope takes wing to flee...
leaving us with only our emptiness...
and inability to bring back that we need the most...

and, "pack animals" that we humans are...
no matter how much we enjoy our solitude...
we follow each other... feed off the group...
but then... that's just "being human"...

but Jesus became human...
conquering fear and death for us...
so that we could control the fears...
that startle our hope to take panicked flight...




and when we allow our hope to be gone so quickly...
we disrespect the awesome gift of Jesus...
who asks only that we trust Him...
and "hope all things..."
"waiting with joyful hope for the miracles to come..."



abiding ...is hard...
it is hopeful trust in God...
and in all the good He has in store for us...
joyful, thankfulness for all the circumstances of our lives...



it is waiting...

hopefully... thankfully... joyfully...

trust in action...



when your tears wash away ...
nearly all vestiges of of your heart's desires...
when only the essence remains
of that which was so hopeful...

and becomes a knife in your heart...
a hole to hide deep in...
you always have that last, thing with feathers...
to cling to...abide in...
and be safe...



safe...
to be wholly "hopeful"...
to allow the feathered thing ...
to take flight on wings of joy...
free to soar...
to attain heights ...
only dreamed of...



and when our days here...
have run their course...
we hope...
to find our rest...
forever...
in that Hope...

...declutter update

this supposed to be a linen cupboard...
but I keep those things in a chest...
so this has become the "supply cupboard"...

tissues... cold medicine... pain relievers...
shampoo... mouth wash... supplements...
air fresheners... cough drops...
medical supplies... etc...

I threw away a large bag of outdated stuff...
as well as set aside a large bag to donate...
I organized what I kept ...
in a manner that I will be able to maintain...

I also cleaned out the 3 built-in drawers
in the bathroom...
and threw away a ton of old cat medicines...

all this took about 4 hours...



notice the brown chair in front of the stereo... ?



this is the room without it...
I muscled it out... gouging the door frame only slightly...
and put it in the driveway....
[it will go in the "Clean Sweep" coming in a week or two...]

I moved the Craftsman recliner over...
as well as the two ficus trees...
if I didn't have puppy training pads all over the floor...
it would look better... at least it's not as crowded...



I moved the spear leafed ficus [braided trunk...] outside...
and re potted it....it will flourish now that it's on the porch...
I also re potted several other plants...
and then cleaned the remaining clutter off the porch...



the intense sun "washed out" the colors, in this picture of the annuals I planted...
the colorful ones are portulacas, in red, yellow, white, orange & rose...
there are also bowls with "crimson" dianthus, "crystal palace" lobelia...
and white allyssm... as well as pale pink/ lavender petunias...

...doot, doot, dooo... lookin' at my front porch

this was my front porch...until last Saturday...
when I "hurt" myself finally cleaning it off...
it's hard to see all the clutter...
[notice the huge pile on the left...
there's a chair under there...
somewhere...]
because when I took this picture...
I hadn't planned on it being a "before" picture...


this is the same "shot" taken yesterday...
notice... there really WAS a chair under that mess...
you can also see the newly re-potted Schefflera peeking out...
it has really grown, "out there"...

several large plants will be cycled "inside"...
as a couple of plants that are "inside"...
will be cycled out....
some to be re-potted... some for "r & r"...
botton line... there will be EVEN less...
eventually...


this is a "high" view to the south from the porch...
you can see my Meyer Lemon tree...
my "Mission" style wind chimes..
the top of my red leaf Japanese Maple...
and Uncle Phil's front yard...


here... you have a "lower" view in the same direction...
a more complete picture of the "Crimson Queen Lace" Maple...
and the green leaf, crimson bark Japanese Maple next to it...
[they live here...year round...and thrive...]

notice all the open [empty !] space ...
ready to receive the seasonal plantings of...
mixed portulacas, red dianthus, Crystal palace lobelia...
and white allyssum...[with it's sweet fragrance...]

since I put these annual containers on the steps too...
I won't come close to filling the space...
and that's a good thing...


this is taken from the other [north] side...
I found the "cat" wind toy [hanging on the right...]
in an art gallery in Sutter Creek...
it makes me smile every time I see it...
[notice the "open space" beyond the chair !
there will be more..."open space", that is...
as things are moved to their final destination...]


one of the nice surprises...

my Fiddle-leaf Fig [a Ficus]...
came back from the dead...!
it got frostbitten in December ...
and was just a pot of sticks...

if I had moved faster in my "clean-up"...
I would have thrown it out...
and missed this wonderful regeneration...

there must be a lesson in this somewhere...
perhaps... "for everything, there is a season...
and a time for every purpose, under Heaven..."

God is Good...

..."we hold these truths..." even in Mudville

"we hold these truths to be self-evident...
that all men are created equal...
that they are endowed by their creator...
with certain inalienable rights...
and among these are life, liberty...
and the pursuit of happiness..."


we, in this country, celebrate that document...
signed this day in 1776...
declaring our independence from England...

speaking of the inalienable right to liberty...
signed by many a God-fearing slave holder...

they didn't see the dichotomy or the irony...
and England was NOT amused ...
by the affront to the proprietary interests of the Empire...
by a bunch of idealistic colonists...

just who did these "Americans" think they were ?


signing your name here ...
branded you a traitor to England...
guaranteeing your death if the independence failed...

years later... after much bloodshed and lives lost...
freedom from England was gained...
and the "great experiment" in democracy ...
was officially, "on"...

so, on this day...
we, a nation of immigrants...
celebrate our liberty...
with parades, cookouts, speeches...
a little flag waving...
patriotic music...
and fireworks...




here in Mudville... it's not much different...
we have parades...with flags...



generally, in the hottest part of the day...
the Mudville Orchestra assembles under the "Sail"...



to play a selection of patriotic & American music...
as a prelude to the fireworks...

in the "old days"...the "Park Band" would play...
while the setting sun blinded us and the winds howled
around the lake at Legion Park...
with large crowds jammed into the small neighborhood...
awaiting the pyrotechnic display to come after dark...



then, for me...the mad dash to get home ...
before the fireworks terrorized the kitties...
since we lived very close to the park...

in more recent times..
the Mudville Waterfest concert...
was designed to last all day...
and into the gathering darkness...



entertaining the vast crowds gathered at Weber Point...

I remember when this picture was taken...
it was 106...with a HOT wind blowing...
and by the time the sun went down...
under the stage lights... it was at least 110...
even after dark... even with the gale-force winds....


our last selection was always "Overture 1812"...
with fireworks instead of cannons...
the concussion of the blast hitting us as we played...
made breathing almost impossible...

after the last applause died away...
as the audience buzzed with anticipation...
and all eyes were turned to the west..
I would be wending my way through the vast crowd...

a task made more difficult after the fireworks began...
since no one was paying any attention ...
to my need to get through the crowd...
and get to my car... in the distant lot...
fight the traffic congested with "looky-loos"...
and get home to my terrified kitties...



I'm now happily retired from playing July 4th Concerts....
and will be at home...
calming frightened kitties...
when the fireworks go off this year...

Happy Birthday America !

...ummm...Greek salad

cravings can be the death of any and all good intentions...
especially when it comes to food...

in the last 7 months or so...
I've had no appetite...[most of the time...]
gone days without eating much at all...
taken to drinking Ensure...
in order to maintain my body chemistry...
essential amino acids & "all that..."

when I did eat...
I wasn't trying to be "healthy"...
I just ate what I wanted to eat...
much smaller portions...generally healthy...

I've been walking...
although lately, my "nerve problems"...
have created some obstacles...
but since I've been more physically active...
I continue to get stronger & more "fit"...
despite the burning nerve spasms ...
that afflict my back & legs frequently...

I'm down to 2 pairs of shorts...and one pair of jeans...
that are still too small to wear...
pants in the size that was WAY too tight...
just last November...
are now, as a friend observed on Sunday, "baggy"...
and happily so...

sooner or later...I'll have to buy some new clothes...
but I'm NOT in any hurry...
when I do "bite the bullet"...
it will only be a few transitional things...
just enough to tide me over...

fortunately...sweatshirts, sweaters and some pants...
are still "OK" when "baggy"...
[ironic, that the "baggy" Hip-Hop look...
never did a thing for me...]

I do have to be careful, though...

Saturday, as I was doing porch clean-up...
I put my garden hand clippers...
in the pocket of my now, really, too big shorts...
[that I couldn't get into last summer...or the summer before...]
and the weight of the clippers almost pulled my shorts off...
I caught them just in time...

just a couple of weeks ago...
I seemed to be regaining the nervous compulsive "munchies"..
but that passed...
and now my "cravings" have taken a Mediterranean turn...

there are a lot of sound psychological connections ...
between "de-cluttering" your life...
[getting rid of all the "stuff" we don't need...
that holds us to our past failures...
that we hide behind...afraid to trust...]

and "de-cluttering" your body...
[losing weight... becoming healthy...
"forgiving & forgetting" your past failures...
and those connected with them...
"loosing" their poisonous grip on your body & soul...
and moving out of the shadow of "unhealthy"...
into the light of trust and vibrant good health...]

I'm reading a great, support book by Peter Walsh...
[my original mentor for decluttering from years ago...
when I watched him on "Clean Sweep"...]
titled,"Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat ?"...

there's nothing "new" to me here...
especially the connection between clutter & fat...
but it's nice to have it all laid out...
as a support system...
["It's All Too Much" is a good general "de-clutter" read too...]

beyond my spiritual journey of the last 7 months...
is the continuation of the "moving out of the shadow"...
that I began 10 years ago...
when I faced the very real possibility ...
of being a cancer victim...

coming to grips with my own mortality ...
put everything into perspective...
all the "stuff"...was just in the way...
my life could be over...and soon...
and I had little to show ...
for all I had been blessed with...
besides big piles of "stuff"....

this realization changed my focus...
and bit by bit... over the last 10 years...
God has been leading me in His direction...
when I've paid attention that is...

sometimes...I think that I'm spiritually, "ADHD"...
I see the path...I start to travel it...
and... BOOM !...
something "bright & shiny" catches my eye...
and I wander off the path...
totally distracted...until He "gets my attention" again...
and we all know HOW He does that...

as I face a "mountain" of stuff...
and the sorting, carrying-out and disposing...
that my "de-cluttering" process requires...
I will need to remember ...the "little things"...

how each journey begins with a single step...
and continues... with each successive, single step...
that I carried it in...
so I can carry it out...

that seeing open space feels much better...
than seeing "well stocked" shelves does...
[even for a packrat...]
how the need to feel free of the stuff that suffocates us...
is more important than the desire to possess...
[especially for a packrat...]

feeling strong and healthy feels good...
loose clothes... feel really good...
[I have annual physicals later this month...
boy... will my doctors be surprised...! ]

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me...

and then... there are those "little rewards"...

like...
when a very supportive friend smiles and says,
"I like seeing you in those baggy pants"...

or when shorts I haven't worn in 12 years...[or more...]
almost button...
[now, I'm glad I kept them...
being a packrat can have it's occasional rewards...]

I have a pair of bell bottom, button fly, Navy surplus jeans...
from 1968...somewhere in the garage...
hummm... maybe someday...

when everything that fit 2 months ago... is really loose...

when I can concoct a reward dinner for myself...
that is this healthy...



Catsinger's Grecian Delight...

chopped Romaine lettuce
chopped sweet red onion
chopped seedless cucumber
sliced grape [or other sweet...] tomatoes
pitted Kalamata olives
Feta cheese [low fat or reg...I use whatever I bought...]
chopped grilled chicken
[I marinate whole chicken breasts
in olive oil, garlic & rosemary...
then grill or bake at 400 in the oven...
I remove the skin and bones before chopping...
this also works with fish...cod...halibut...Mahi Mahi...]

dress with Catsinger's Greek salad dressing
serve with pita or "tortilla bread"
[almost the same... & a lot cheaper...]

possible additions...
marinated artichoke hearts
pepperonchini or other hot stuff
[if you are into that, I'm not...]
bell peppers...
raw veggies of all kinds...
roasted peppers or eggplant...
beans..[kidney, garbanzo, green...]
whatever...

Catsinger's Greek Salad Dressing
[also good as a marinade...]
I make my dressing using a GS "cruit"...
garlic red wine vinegar to "V" line...
a healthy dose of dried oregano...
some garlic powder...
s & p
and fill with ex virgin olive oil to "O" line...
shake... serve...

it gets better as it sits..and I keep "refilling"....
as I use it up...

...jail break !

a door...slightly ajar...
doesn't mean much to most of us...
but to my "feline friends"...
it wasn't opportunity merely "knocking"...
it was opportunity throwing off all restraint...
and hollering, "COME ON DOWN !"

[I'm quite sure ...
that if you look up "opportunist" in the dictionary...
you'll see a picture of most of my kitties....]

I'd been having problems with my bedroom door...
lately...it was not opening properly...
it would stick at the top...
and sometimes the handset would not latch...

a couple of days ago, I came into the bedroom...
after noticing that the door was ajar...
Mattie was almost out the open window...
being my "good boy"...he stopped and came to me...

since he gets very confused outside ...
and gets "lost"... across the very busy street...
crying in real distress...
unable to cross the street and come to me...
I wanted him in...

so I'd been trying to make sure that the door was shut tight...
but, this morning, as I zeroed-in on the hall closet clean-out...
as well as my usual Tuesday "cookfest"...
and writing a post for tomorrow...
before running errands...
I must have not been careful enough...

I went through the hall area..
and saw the problem door...
ajar again...

entering the bedroom...
I encountered Mattie, asleep on my bed...
Robbie had taken over Fluff's nest...
but the open window and total silence...
told me the story...
there had been a "jail break"...

I called... silence...
after closing the window...I put Robbie & Mattie
out of the bedroom so that I could "take roll"...
first making sure that the #$@%* door was now shut tight...

I looked for Charlie [he's the red one...]

he's VERY shy and freaks when he gets outside...
he becomes extremely fearful...
disoriented & won't come to me...
the last time...
it took me 2 weeks to catch him...

I didn't see him... but he loves to hide...
so I "called" and said a little prayer...
I eventually spotted him... whew !

then I looked for Creamer...she also goes outside bravely...
then freaks...wanting back in...NOW !

but Creamer was "dead to the world"...
far from the predations of Sneaky Pie & Gracie...
her sworn enemies...

Thomas, on the other hand was MIA...

he thinks he's "alpha"... and "Mr Outside"...
he doesn't get scared...which is both good...
and not so good... because he's NOT cautious...

Sneaky Pie was underfoot...as usual...


but Gracie...was mysteriously "absent"...

NOT good... she's ALWAYS been an inside cat...
and doesn't have a clue..."out there"...

I went out into the back yard...
and there was Gracie !
she started to run from me...
but when she saw it was me...
she ran to the "ramp"...went up...
and waited by the now closed window...
telling me how much she wanted to go back inside...
and to "make it snappy ! "

I picked up her plump self and took her inside...
where she promptly began to brag to Sneaky Pie...
exaggerating, I'm sure....
her adventurousness and courage...
in the "great" out of doors...

she must have laid it on thick...
because SPie got pissed...
bopped her on the nose...
and then went to chase Lacy...
just for spite...

by now...
I had figured out that only Thomas was still AWOL...
so I re-opened the bedroom window...
called him... NUMEROUS times...
shut the door, TIGHTLY...
and went on with my chores...

after about an hour or so...
I opened the door...there Thomas was...
sleeping on my bed...
he hopped down and came back out of the bedroom...
as if he always spent the morning outside....

I checked the window...
the breeze had blown the screen cat door shut...
trapping Thomas and ending his day of..." FREEDOM ! "
[you have to imagine Mel Gibson yelling that...]

as soon as Thomas [the interloper...] was out of my bedroom...
Fluff came out from under the bed...
where she'd been "in seclusion"...[aka hiding...]

and she was NOT amused...
turning her back on me for my shortsightedness...
in allowing the "invasion" of her domain...

after a while... Piglet "arrived"....
she had been "secluded" [aka hiding...]
somewhere in the yard...

and she let me know that she was MOST DISPLEASED...
with my complicity in allowing intruders
to disturb the sanctity...
of "her" sole and rightful kingdom...

how could I be so lax ?
I'd better shape up...
if I knew what's good for me...
or she would "take steps" to shape me up... !

later, after the "dust" had settled...
and everyone was back in their normal routine...
as I checked the door for the umpteeth time...
I noticed Mattie...snoozing in his favorite spot...

favorite spot other than my bed, that is...

and to think...
some people miss all this kind of frivolity...
because they don't live with cats...

so sad....

...the long good-bye

this is Robbie...about 2 months ago...
he'd just returned from a vet visit & a bath...
his blood work was all good...
he had his teeth cleaned...
and got a steroid shot for the arthritis & itching...

he was getting skinnier...
seemed to be losing his hearing...
couldn't seem to find the cat box...
but had a good appetite...

his continuing non-use of the litter box...
over the last 2 months have caused me to cover
my formerly new rugs with puppy training pads...
and purchase a "Spot Bot" rug cleaner...
[which works well on pet "spots...]


the "array" of training pads...in several places...
[as observed here by Sneaky Pie...]
helps only when he "hits" the mark...or pad...
often he misses...or moves a pad in "covering"...
then goes where the pad was...

it is a nasty thing to have to clean-up several times a day...
especially when "new" locations are chosen...
[ie...on the small rug in front of the door]
that I don't see ... until it's too late...
and then track "it" around before I notice what I've stepped in...



but... every day, he's thinner... like Bubba...
poor Bubba was young... only 9...
and they couldn't find anything wrong...
but he wasted away anyway...
and died last August...



Robbie's 19... he's had a good, long life...
and he'll be gone soon...
I don't think he'll make it through July...
so I'll keep a close watch on him...

he's so thin now that I can feel all his bones...
even on his head...
I'm NOT looking forward to taking him to the vet
that last time... but I won't let him suffer...

until it's time...and he'll let me know when...
they always do...
I'll pet him... and talk to him...
and make him soft beds near me...
and prepare him a resting place in the garden ...
for later...