...mea culpa

the glorious Spring day beckons softly...
the "fresh green" of newly unfurled leaves
that dance seductively in the Spring breeze...
as of yet, unshredded by gusty winds...
parched by scorching heat or coated with dust....

in another month, the green is darker...
the sunlight more direct and intense...
the ground drier... the bulbs spent...
all the blossoms "set"...and the petals scattered...

but this can't be a frolicking "Spring" day... not this day...
for today is our annual day for remembrance...
a day that we set aside to "tap into" what Jesus did for us...
to remember just what He saved us from...

if you have had "darkness" in your life...
the "light of Christ" is so much more special...
and we who follow Him, think of His sacrifice for us,
each week, as we receive Holy Communion...

but this is different...

I remember as a kid, being at my Grandma's house...
it was probably Easter... but on the black & white TV,
they were showing a grim re-telling of the Crucifixion...
I was probably 9 or 10...and knew the story...
but this was very different...

they showed Him suffering...then, He died...
thunder... lightning... earthquakes...
suddenly... everyone was so sorry...
and the depressing gloom, filling the tiny room...
I wouldn't experience that feeling again,
around a TV, until JFK's funeral...

last night, after the Maundy Thursday service...
with the call to servant hood ...
and the commemoration of the first "Lord's Supper"....
we chanted Psalm 22...
["They divide My garments among them..."]
while the host was removed to the side alter...

then, continued the Psalm ...
as the main altar was "stripped"...
candles extinguished...and removed....
all the fine linens, crosses, chalices... removed...
and finally, the lamp that burns
to show the presence of Christ, in the Host...
lowered... and extinguished...
leaving a stark landscape...
devoid of Christ...devoid of hope...

as we left the church in silence...
and returned our vestments to the hangers...
I thought of Jesus...all those years ago...
His "farewell dinner" accomplished...
His "new commandment" given...
He went to the "garden" to pray...
and wait for His betrayer to arrive...

He knew what was coming...
and prayed to be delivered from the pain of it...
the separation, humiliation and death...
just as most of us would do...



but unlike most of us...
He prayed that God's will would be done...
and then willingly, laid aside His power...
and in His great love, found the strength and peace
to endure the most painful and degrading treatment...

...for us...

showing the depth of His love for us...
He spoke not a word...
did not raise His hand
against anyone...
who was being used to carry out the will of God...

He was cruelly beaten... humiliated...
mocked... falsely accused ....
deserted by His loved ones.. ...
then after hours of this...
He was beaten again, crowned with thorns ...
and forced to carry a heavy cross through the streets...

nailed, naked, to the cross ...
and raised to the full view of all...
this wasn't the worst...
He would hang there... from those cruel nails...
the object of scorn, for about 3 hours...

finally, separated from God by our sins that He bore...
He forgave "us"... and died...
going alone into the depths of Hell...
to defeat death for us...
once... and for all...

I believe that He could have come down from that cross...
in complete triumph...
at any time...
scattering the crowd with lightning bolts...
raining down Holy Fire on all His detractors...

it would have been quite a scene...

God triumphant...
Jesus' message vindicated...
His disciples would have instantly become "society's darlings"...
the hordes who shouted "Crucify Him" so recently...
would have gone back to "Hosanna" again...
quickly...perhaps without skipping a beat...

almost everyone would have found a way
to "buy into" the miraculous outcome...
the Jewish leaders would have their "proof"...
and could legitimize Him as a "true prophet"...
[saving "face"...]

the Romans would be too afraid of His power to stay...
or would "jump on the bandwagon"...
[strong sense of which "horse to back" with them...]
all the "believers" could come and be healed, fed and raised from the dead...

well... NOT everyone would be "pleased"...

the entire point of God made man, was for Him to live as one of us...
although blameless, to be falsely accused and die...
in our place...
only a Christ could accomplish that...

He demonstrated His "unearthly" love for us...
by His actions...
He, Himself blameless, took on our sins...

He never opened His mouth in His own defense ...
because it was God's will...
never used His mighty power to fight His accusers...
because that was God's will too...

that He would willingly...
submit Himself in our place...
dying...
that we might have access to God's love ...
and eternal life with Him...
available only through Jesus' death...

a friend has said, "...God often works organically..."
for me that means, naturally...seemingly effortless...
true artists never let you see the effort that they put into their masterpiece...
except for this one time... nearly 2000 years ago...
when we saw the blood, the sweat and the tears...
felt the pain, loneliness and fear of loss...
and through it all... a template for love...

"that while we were yet sinners...Christ died for us..."

thank you, Jesus...