...not for sissies...

I live with "several" cats...
and have done so for many years...
the unfortunate part of that is
that given the nature of existence
for we who clamber about on this planet...
the years spent together often mean seeing
the declining, as well as the ascending...

in other words, you watch lovingly as a frisky kitten
becomes a playful cat, and then for years, there they are...
waiting for you to sit down and pet them, for food...
hiding when you need to put on the flea preventative ...
or whenever the carrier comes out,
lest it be them who gets "whisked away" to chéz Vet...

they greet you at the front door when you return,
cuddle whenever you sit down....
they sleep on your bed, [on cold nights, in your face...]
they "accompany" you to the bathroom, run from medication,
complain about almost everything and "fill up" your heart...

then, one day, you begin to notice that they aren't as spry as they once were...
they need help jumping up on the bed or sofa...
they sleep almost all the time and you can feel bones
that you couldn't feel before...

you realize that they are old...you look in their faces
and see a vagueness in the, once, alert eyes....
their gait is unsteady and slow, but the appetite is good,
and they seem happy just to be petted...
which you promise yourself that you will do as much as possible,
for as long as you can...

I've walked this path often the last couple of years...
and the "walks" will only increase as my little group ages...
I see Tippy and Robbie looking increasingly frail...

and I watch... for the signs that it's "time"...
but for now, they seem to get around OK...
they're eating and drinking and "going"...
[not always" where" they should, but they try...]

the last 2 years have found me in too many hospitals...
and though she liked the place she lived,
Mom was surrounded by so many people who were dying...
She told me that most of those who lived there, were "waiting"...
they all knew that they were at "the last stop"...
they would go nowhere else to live, this was it...
the end of their journey...

the indignities that the frail and infirm make do with,
are hard for those of us, still independent, to come to terms with...
we see diapers, catheters, puréed food, walkers, being bathed, being cleaned-up
and being spoken to as if we are "not too bright"...as unbearable...

and for a few who retain their "right mind", it can be,
although they can appreciate that their needs are being met
and that they can no longer "do" for themselves...
they still "rail, against the coming of the night..."

but for most, they are in a blessed haze...
their minds retreating into memory
when the present,
with the impending certainty of death,
becomes too much to bear...

this growing old, whether in cat or person
is not an easy thing...
but I know that it's a natural progression...
Erick Segal wrote "...every true story ends in death..."
our stories are true, there is only one ending...

I've also read that,
"Heaven is where every cat you've ever loved,
greets you at the gate"...
a bit simplistic, but why not ?
In "my idea" of heaven, there is plenty of room...
for beloved pets, for family, for friends,
for dear brothers and sisters in Christ...

it will be so good, then, after our "strife is o're, our battle won"...
when we have finished our time here, with it's trials and joys...
sorrows and triumphs... failures and successes ...
when we have "stayed the course and finished the race..."

the Bible says "...there is a time, for every purpose under heaven..."
and we all have our roles... which change throughout our journey...
one day the giver, the next... the receiver...
one day the independent... the next day.... the dependent...

you have to be strong to age gracefully...
to feel your body weaken, your eyes dim,,,
your mind, not as sharp and your energy sapped...

and even as you must allow, more and more, to accept help
to do what must be done...
you must remain "joyful" as you "disintegrate"...
cheerfully accepting each new season as "a time, that has come..."

no, it's not easy to see loved ones grow old,
or to do it yourself..
gracefully...if you do it right...
it's definitely not for sissies...