...confessions of a klutz...

...I have been known to be "accident prone",
as Mom put it, so intellectually when I was a kid...
I never broke any bones, but not because I didn' try...

I have a 3 inch scar on the back of my head
from splitting it open on a rock at the cabin...
[a concussion and 10 stitches, with enough blood
to traumatize even my brother, who had pushed me...]

I have a"dent" in my leg from being kicked
by the horse I was falling off of...
and limped after for over a mile until I caught it...
[fortunately, my cowboy boots kept my leg
from swelling too badly...until I took them off...]

then there's vollyball... not my favorite sport...
3 times it's zapped me...
in 8th grade, I turned to face our server during a game,
she served a bullet right into my face, breaking my glasses,
cutting my face and cracking my nose...you can still feel the bump...
twice, it got me in college...once as a slip, stand on my head,
hurt for 2 weeks moment...
and once as an ankle 90 degrees from the leg, bad ankle sprain
that had me on crutches for almost a month...

I've had stitches in my arm and hand, as well as my head...
been on crutches numerous times[even had my own...]
worked my way through a number of Ace bandages and slings...
as well as an eye patch that my students thought
made me look like a member of the Raider Nation...

in the last few years, I seem to have moved on to less "athletic" injuries,
mainly because I've become less athletic in my pursuits...
although I have noticed a commonality in the most recent mishaps,
lack of attention or focus to what I'm doing, or just being flaky...

about 8 years ago, I had a bad chest congestion/infection
and went to sleep with a heating pad on low clutched to my chest...
of course, I woke up with a couple of blisters, which were a pain to treat...
left me with a couple of "interesting scars", and no, I'm not showing them to you...

then about 4 years ago, I was home, really sick with the flu...
as I attempted to fix something to eat, so I could keep down the medicine,
I burned my finger on the toaster oven...
then the next day, after cooking some pasta, for the same purpose...
proceeded to splash very hot water on myself,
burning a spot on my stomach, through the night shirt,
about 3 inches long, right at my waist....

that's when I discovered the Adaptic burn pads...
[ a gauze square with a vaseline-like substance on it]...
and I had a couple left over, which turned out to be a good thing...
since Saturday night, to ease a sore back, I slept on a heating pad...

of course, it was double wrapped, set on low...
I changed positions often, even turned it off for a while...
and in the morning... I had a blister on my back...
I somehow managed to bandage it and keep it on...
but when I lay on my back, my default position, it itches...
and now, it's itching all the time, driving me crazy and keeping me "up"...

I only have about 3 or so hours before the drug store is open...
I can get the bandage materials I need, and get someone to dress it...
I can't even see it, but it's broken open and oozing, and did I mention, ITCHING ! ...
so it can't happen soon enough for me...

at least then, the air won't be on it constantly, contributing to the itching...
the worst thing, is that it will have to be dressed daily for days,
and I don't think the kitties can help me there,
so I, "will be relying on the kindness of my friends..."
with any needed apologies to "Blanche DuBois"...
I like my version better anyway...
and to quote my apparent mentor, Homer Simpson, "Doh !"...