...being on time

Mackie cat has a new favorite perch...
since the top shelf of "his" tree became loose...
and slants dangerously [at least a 45˚ angle]...
when he plops himself upon it...

it used to be the favorite lurking spot...
for both he & his sister, Murphy...
seen behind him to his left on a comfy pillow...
which is now her favorite spot, close to any fires that may be lit...

but I digress...

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to speak of many things..."
of shoes and ships- and sealing wax...
of cabbages and kings...

["The Walrus & the Carpenter", Louis Carroll]

bit by bit...
ideas are forming in my mind...
sometimes clear, but in bits...
sometimes, pure "Jabberwocky-speak"...

things that God wants me to do...
ideas to understand...
attitudes that He wants to become an integral part of "me"...
the way, in which I should think, interact & live...

how to "seek first, His Kingdom and it's righteousness"...
without going off on the tangents that have so distracted...
and detoured me from His path for me before...
[aka doing what I think I should do...
rather than what I'm told to do...]]

and so I'm spending more time with Him...
...listening... waiting... absorbing...

I know that my sins & shortcomings are the results...
of my human inability to be, on my own, "perfect"...
[this causes quite a bit of consternation in my perfectionista-self...]
but I believe that it pleases God, that I want to please Him...
that I want to believe in His saving & keeping powers...
and that makes up for all the failures...
[Grace covers it all...]

especially in the face of some of the pretty scary directions...
in which my life seems to be heading lately...

no job, lots of debts & obligations...
very little income and no concrete possibilities in sight...

yet He tells me to "rest in Him"...
that He will provide all my needs...
to expect to see "miraculous things"...
but I must believe completely, stay calm and don't panic...

since attempts on my part to find work have been spectacularly unsuccessful...
when He tells me to "wait", "don't panic", "He will provide all my needs"...
I've chosen to have faith in His promises...
not just blindly "hoping for the best"...
or "deciding what I want" and then, "claiming it"...

but trusting in His promises that He will provide my needs...
and thus will tell me what I should do & when...

which brings me back around to the picture of Mackie...
sitting on the clock...
"waiting on time..."
'cause that's what I'm doing...

so bit by bit, I'm seeing that though many of my actions have failed...
my faith in His provisions, in accepting His blessings...
[no matter how trying they may be...]
by continuing to wait, hope and believe...
these conscious decisions on my part...
have changed my heart towards God...
and that pleases Him...

one of the things that I've most feared as a Christian...
is being used by the enemy to lead someone astray...
or to use their anger towards me or something I did...
as an avenue away from Him that the enemy can exploit...
resulting in fear & guilt...the perfect doorways for the enemy..

the good news is that the enemy can not use me without my permission...

and as I become more aware of God and allow His blessings to change me...
from a sinner destined to fail on my own...
into a sinner, whose faith through the grace of God...
brings me closer to pleasing God on more levels...
and being able to accept all the blessings and power He has for me...

that I will be aware enough to block all the enemy's attempts...
to distract me from God's way...
and to allow all the pain & suffering to become blessings...
that will shape my character and direct my path...

after all, there is no limit to what God will give us...
but there may be a limit to what we are able or willing to accept from God...
so I'm working to be as accepting as possible...
'cause I love to see His miracles at work...

God is good, all the time...