...things get very depressing, AND THEN...

I woke up early this morning...
[6 AM is early for me these days,
though it wasn't always that way...

after a depressing conversation with a mortgage banker...
and phone menu hell on Weds. evening..
my loan would qualify for the Fed. Refi program...
saving me a couple hundred a month...
but I didn't have the income to qualify...

AND my house value is floating around $225K...
[I was afraid it was worse...]
I'm still "upside down"...
but only about $50K...
if the economy turns up just a bit...
my value will go back up quickly due to my good area...

when things were crazy, it was valued at $425K...
I got the HELOC at $325K...
which is why I'm "upside down" now...
it could easily return to a value of $275K...
which is more than I owe...

unfortunately...

without a source of income beyond my pension...
I can't do anything to lower my mortgage payment...
[loan modification is only a short-term, stop-gap measure...]

so today, I decided to get dressed & try to get some things moving...

I decided to go to,[gulp]the school district...

[you must understand that this is a bit like a small mouse...
trying to snuggle-up to a hungry python...]

I have gotten letters each year since I retired...
after school starts...
asking me to be a long-term sub, etc...
and have ignored them...
[generally shredding them with glee...]

so it was with a sense of duty that I went to the "Castle"...



after a wait, I was given a daunting 1 inch thick pile of forms...
told that since it was S-O-O-O long since I taught...
[uhhh 2005... only 4 years ago]
I was told that I needed to be fingerprinted,TB tested...
and "start from scratch"...& that I'd just have to be in the "pool"...
ie phone calls at 0-dark:30 AM each day you "worked"...
NOT a steady source of income...

since I never remembered being fingerprinted at all before...
I stopped by the school police office...
and though I was the only person there not wearing a uniform...
was told to call & schedule an appointment...
which I did from my cell when I got back to my car...

by this time, I was really upset at all the crap I'd have to do...
find the original copies of my credentials that they already have...
[I know they keep all early retirees stuff...
until they can drop us from the health care at age 65...]
my CBEST test pass card, letters of recommendation...
etc, etc, ETC...

so I forced myself to drive out to...



after having 3, literally 3 parking places, pirated away from me...
I found a distant spot, walked into the store...
and went looking for some sort of office...
finally, I asked a "greeter" where to go...
and she directed me to the "Customer Service" area...
where there were 2 computers for "career applications"...

one was busy, there was a guy lounging next to the woman typing...
so I thought that he was with her...
I went to the unused computer...
& finally had to ask why the cursor wasn't responding...


a clerk, with obvious management skills...
came out from behind the counter...
& gave the screen a whack...
then...the cursor became visible...

the guy who had been "lounging" then came to life...
apparently he was waiting to apply too...
so after having been assured that I could apply from my own computer...
I gave him the use of the computer & left...

so back to the church I went...
[my only current ISP...]

I decided to apply for all possible jobs...
including hourly management ones...
& for the management level, there's a test...
which they were happy to inform me that I had failed...
how or why...I have no idea...
nor will they tell me...
but I couldn't take it again for 6 months...

I knew that the shoe store wouldn't be for a while...



when I applied, they had just hired a couple of people...
and I'm not too sure that crawling around on a floor...
would work well for me anyway...

so I decided to drop by B&N again...



the "manager" I had given my application to had said they would call...
they hadn't...and all things considered,[he gave me a strange look...]
I had no desire to be further stomped on...
not after the day I'd had so far...
I was too close to tears...

sucking up my courage "to the sticking point"...
I went in & saw the nice woman I'd talked to before...
when I approached her, she remembered me...
but she couldn't figure out WHO the guy was ...
that had taken my application & said that they'd call me...

"He doesn't sound like any manager we have here..."

she introduced me to her "real" manager...
and mentioned my "super qualified" experience...
we chatted, I also mentioned my classical music library experience...
and he gave me another application to fill-out...

as well as inviting me to a group interview on June 23 at 5 PM...
[attire, business casual,ie what I was wearing, khakis & a polo shirt...]

he told me that ALL their interviews were "group ones"...
and told me to bring my filled-out application to the interview...
and he didn't give me any strange look...

I left feeling really hopeful for the first time in days...

as several of you readers have put it...
"this would be perfect for me..."

I DON'T want to crawl back to the district...
accomplishing the paperwork alone is almost too much...
if you've applied to a college, you know...
I don't know where all those things are anymore...
and then getting up each day, EARLY, to go, where ever...
going when I'm sick...for about $100 per day after taxes...

I'd be dead in 6 months...

so today I'm really hopeful...

a decent job, that I could do well at & enjoy...
then, I could refi my mortgage...
pay down my debt...

it might all line-up, finally...

and not a moment too soon...

God is good, all the time...