Friday, January 18, 2008

...notes from the edge

I walked today in sunlight...
with "shades" & scarf ...
it was so bright...
but I miss the foliage that,if still with us,
is blown into piles awaiting disposal...
rotting on the edges...all brown and mushy...
or, like in my yard, still a few scattered "survivors"...
lurking among the clumps of dallas grass
that dot my mostly dormant [yellowed] lawn...
and blown into the rose beds...
the roses I have yet to prune...

as I walked, I encountered first, a squished persimmon...
it's almost red skin, with black splotches, & pulp
smeared across the sidewalk...
nearer the corner...
a broken-off tree limb with an almost identical fruit,
just hanging by a thread...
victim of the "storm of the decade",
along with all the leaves...

at the corner, a pecan tree, dropping it's bounty,
allowed me to "stretch" a bit,
while picking up about 8 large pecans...
I left the cracked ones for the birds,
who I've seen drop them on a hard surface to crack...
and then feast...

there were also several grapefruit on the ground,
but I left them...
I've tried them before and they are too bitter for me...

as I continue on my walk...
I see a cat I've not seen before...
she looks just like my Mackie....
but with yellow eyes, instead of his green ones...

since I took in Mackie,
and his two littermates off the street,
and this is just "behind" where I live,
they could be related...

she see's me, so I say, "Hi, kitty !"...
and she comes over to me...
I am given further "stretching" opportunities,
as she wants to be petted...
I stroke her back and she rolls over
to show me her tummy,
which I cautiously pet...
this is repeated a number of times...

I stand up, say " 'bye, kitty"...
she "meows"....
and I'm on my way,
while she continues on hers...
I've had these kind of interludes on my walks before...
I'm glad to meet & greet...
and really glad they don't follow me...

so I return to my "under-construction zone"...
...between 2 trips to the church to measure
our baby grand piano for a cover,
[I wasn't focused enough to measure both length AND width the first time...]
I walked... and now have to deal with the full effect
of the oil-based primer that J came by to put
on the front door and trim...

the idea is that it will dry really hard by Tuesday,
when he will return to do the final coat...
the sealed and cleaned hall floor looks good..
but a couple of places need some more TLC...
I'm hoping that this won't be the case with the entire floor,
but, it's possible...

make-overs aren't easy for anyone, or thing...
scraping trim leads to a discovery of dry rot...
climbing out of holes...
walking away from lifelong patterns of thinking and being...
can reveal all kinds of things to be fixed...

a spirit, or heart, once filled with promise and hope,
will wither and become barren if not tended...
and then there's pruning... cutting off the old...
to prepare for that which will not come...
unless the old is gone...

taking the risk to step outside of your "comfort zone",
is scary... confusing and fraught with "traps"...
the secret may lie in making "that new place",
a "comfort zone"...
to embrace your fears...
and watch them melt away...
like the morning frost on the ground...

He will do that for us,
because He will not put more in our path,
than He will give us the ability to face, and deal with...
to quote a saying I'm very fond of...
"if you come to an "impassible cliff"...
you will sprout wings or be taught how to fly..."

all this reminds me of learning to ride my bike...
after the training wheels were off...
I would fall, but gain confidence with each success...
each time we turn to Him, it's easier...
maybe soon...He's all I'll see...
and that will be glorious...

1 comment:

DearestDragonfly said...

I love the 'impassible cliff' quote -- that we'll then be taught to fly.

By nature, my first reaction is fear. Then, through God's grace, I (hopefully ) move into a willingness to consider something greater than me, myself and my ideas.