...NOT what I wanted to hear

those of you who are regular readers...
have been subjected to the twists & turns of my job search...
life path upheaval and financial difficulties
for quite some time now...

yesterday, Super Sop assured me that...
"not having heard yet from VOPU, was their usual style..."
"we've lost several good, prospective hires...
because the university took too much time in deciding on them...
and they, 'moved on' in the meantime..."

she, as well as several others, encouraged me to call...
so this morning, I did...

unfortunately, the results were not what I had hoped for...

I spoke with the person who interviewed me...
she said, "The committee has made it's decision...
you should receive a letter this week...
we appreciate your interest in our position..."
all said in a tone of voice that was detached...

NOT a positive signal at all...

and the response I get from God ?

"that He is my supply..."

"that I must move "fearlessly ahead...
believing that the Red Sea will part before me...
and that I will pass through safely..."

perhaps the chosen person will have moved on...
maybe the job will fall to me by default...

or, there's something else that I don't know about yet...

I trust God... He is the Lord of miracles...
and last minute reprieves...

I've seen Him accomplish miracles before...

blessings beyond what I could have dared to hope for...
or my heart's deepest desire...

sometimes, even when all hope appeared gone...

and this time ?

I know that He can... I hope that He will...

but if He doesn't... I have NO clue what to do next...

no idea where to look... all the doors appear closed...
if something miraculous doesn't happen...
I won't make it past Christmas...

so I wait... and trust... and hope...



and to all of you who have been so faithful in praying for me...
I'm really sorry about the way things have gone...
and seem to be going...
it's been a strange, gut-wrenching journey for me...
and it appears to be continuing on a downward trajectory...

everyone has enough turmoil in their own life...
you certainly didn't need to share in mine...

I appreciate more than I can express all the prayers...
and the words of encouragement and good wishes...
you've shared my frustrations & failures...
I'd hoped to share a positive outcome this time...

I haven't had this door shut in my face yet...
so I still hope...
God tells me that I must...
hope, trust and believe...
that He will provide for me...

so I cling to that hope, as a dying leaf holds to the branch...



because, God is good...ALL the time...