...the letter has arrived

I got the, "we have chosen another applicant" letter...
from VOPU Library on Tuesday evening when I got home...
I didn't want to drop the news before Thanksgiving...
so I figured, "why not Black Friday ?"...

a friend, who works there, told me...
that she had heard about the new hire a few days ago...
and had recently met "him"...
she also said that she thought...
that they would have been "better off" with me...
[which was very kind... but I can see why they would chose a man...
for a late-night manager over an older woman...]

I find it rather ironic that I was so SURE...
that the school district would take a younger man...
over me for a high school band job...
that I was astonished to discover that I was their first choice...
but since I couldn't do "full time", I didn't get that job...

perhaps this is God's way of telling me...
that I can't figure this out for myself...
so I just have to trust Him...
because none of the "rules" apply anymore...
and only He can cause the completely improbable to happen...

that I actually get a job I'm suited for...
so I can pay my living expenses & pay-off my debts...

strangely, I'm actually very calm with all this...

I haven't awoke in a cold sweaty panic yet...
no tension or stress headaches, though my sinuses are being obnoxious...

perhaps I've learned that none of that helps anything, anyway...

the "word" I get from God is that HE WILL PROVIDE...
I am to be joyful, wait & trust in Him...
attack every finger of fear with praise and trust...
dismiss the enemy sternly and rejoice in His keeping...

and wait for instructions...

while waiting, a few more "little blessings" were discovered...

I called my former health care insurance holding company...
and requested that my unused balance be refunded...
[it should be about $700...]
I discovered that I had an "available balance"...
of over $800 on a credit card...
and after checking, discovered that I could use it to pay...
the first installment of my property taxes[$706, due 12/10]...

allowing me to pay my entire 6 months car insurance premium...
[$445, due, 12/02] and still have a bit of wiggle room...

this may have bought me January's utility & insurance bills...

no doubt, I need to find work soon...
but the message that I get is to be calm...
to not succumb to fear & panic...
I WILL BE LED... so do nothing in panic...
to let Him lead me in the ways that He wants me to go...
quietly, calmly, safely...

it was that quiet voice, speaking to me while I was calm...
that had me check my credit card "available balance"...
& led me to paying my property taxes by credit card...
after all, it's His money...

my checking account has enough to pay the whole car insurance now...
if I wait, then I have $116 payments every month for 4 months...

so I wait for the next instructions...and miracles ?

thanks again, to all of you who have prayed for me...
in His will, I hope to have good news...
to share with you all sometime soon...

God is good, and I trust Him, all the time...