...and now, for something completely different

it's raining here... again...with more to come...

right now ?

Light Rain
49° F
Feels Like: 45° F
Wind: From SSE at 11mph
High: 50° F
Precip: 80%

Tonight
Rain
Low:49° F
Precip: 100%

Tomorrow
Rain
High:59° F
Precip: 70%


don't get me wrong, we need the rain...
but after it rains, is when my allergies go crazy...
the mold & mildew growing in the wet, fallen leaves...
have a party in my sinus & chest...until things dry out...

and then, after they're gone, the wind blows the pollen around...
irritating my already compromised respiratory system...
and giving me constant sinus headaches...
until the barometric pressure stabilizes again...
and the winds stop their incessant blowing...

anyway, that's been my "spring pattern" for years...
but this year, I'm trying to be less negative...
to worry less about what "might" happen...
after all, this allergy attack has been different...

and negativity just makes me more open to the enemy's attacks...

if I look for all the annoying or burdensome things...
that might happen...
I'll probably consume myself with negativeness...
and totally miss the chance to notice all the positive possibilities...

this "attitude shift" is not an easy state for me to keep myself in...

looking ahead to avoid possible problems is the curse...
of the focused and organized mind...
finding and solving problems before they become roadblocks...
has always been my modus operandi...

this past year, God has been dealing with me regarding fear...
as well as it's manifestations in our lives...
ie anger & frustration, self-centeredness & selfishness...

when we fear, it is the discomfort, pain and loss that we are afraid of...

some basic fears are rational...
we have basic human drives for food, shelter, love & safety...
but we often allow ourselves to go too far...
we replace what we need with what we want...
opening up a whole other box of scenarios...

we don't want to feel nervous, so we push ourselves to be places early...
not a bad thing, unless we become obsessed and allow anger to creep in...
becoming frustrated or angry at anyone or thing that gets in our way...
sort of like the guy who blew past me on the street today...
he was still sitting at the stop light when I got there...
and turned right on red onto a one-way street...

I'm sure he was stewing inside... I used to when someone was in my way...

more and more, I find myself aware of what I'm doing...
the moment after I get angry & explode...
sometimes, I even catch myself before I yell...
and it's the same with the "glass half empty" attitudes too...

God has let me know that my negative attitudes & behaviors...
are NOT what He wants me to do or have...
and as I try to find that quiet center...
even in moments of anger or frustration...
it is becoming easier to stay positive...
even when all evidence points to bad or annoying things happening...

I think what I'm beginning to "get"...
is that I have a choice...
I can fuss & stew, get frustrated & angry at situations...
micromanage everything & be eaten up by my own negativity...
or I can give the emotional baggage to Him...
not worry myself unnecessarily with it...
let Him take care of it & give me the grace...
to deal with however much really comes my way...

now, the hard part... staying aware of these ideas...
and putting them into practice...

I am learning that being thankful for all God's blessings...
can really help refocus my attitudes...
so I'm working on that too...

today, I'm down at the church, working on the music for Holy Week...
as well as doing what I need to get done online [bills, etc]
I haven't been here since Feb. 13 due to the massive allergy attack...
and there's a lot to catch up on...

since I was sick, I made it to 3 church services and once to the store...
I even got a sink full of dishes washed...
I pretty much coughed my way through the Bible study today...
but I am feeling better...[& still, NO infection ! amazing...]

so when the weather dries out & I can get "around to it"...



the wilderness tundra that is my front yard is calling my name...
as are piles of leaves, other yardwork, as well as housework...

I'll just consider it all an aerobic workout...