...waiting for tests

Piglet, posing on my bed a few years ago...
she sleeps cuddled up to me every night...
like a live, drooling, snoring, "stuffed animal"...
she's the only cat I've ever known who sleeps on my shoulder or arm...
though when she can get away with it...
she prefers my stomach...

usually awake with the dawn...

demanding to be, "out"... or to be petted... or fed...

or just to complain about the level of attention/ service...
that the "staff"[me] is providing to Herself...
or that Fluff has annoyed her, yet again.
or perhaps the dog is out in the back, so she can't be...

however, just in the last week, I noticed a change...

she became very "clingy", wanting to be held all the time...
and though she was eating, she was getting thin & dehydrated...
so yesterday, I took her in to the vet...
I figured the mouth lesions were back & she needed a steroid shot...

I even promised her that she'd be home, feeling better, soon...

"I don't see any lesions", the vet said...
"she doesn't have a fever & the dehydration is not good"...
"I'll have to do blood tests, but it's probably kidney or liver failure"...
so with a sick feeling in my stomach, I left her there...

as I write this, there is still about 2 hours before the tests come back...

my bed was so empty last night...
as were my lap & arms...
and it was hard to get to sleep without Herself...
drooling, making beds in my arm & then snoring, loudly...

Fluff enjoyed being,"Queen of the bedroom"...
but I'm having a hard time...

I hate watching my friends, "waste away"...
but at least, I get to prepare myself to say goodbye...
this unexpected kind of thing is so wrenching...
I can only hope for a bit more time with my friend...

but if she's in pain, it will be sooner rather than later...

here's hoping for good test results...
but it's all in God's hands now...