...musings on altering states of being

well, it's been about 10 days now without the hCG drops...
and the results have been interesting, to say the least...

I thought I'd be hungry... but I rarely am...
I've added some bread[I'm not supposed to for a couple more weeks...]
but instead of screwing up my metabolism & causing a weight gain...
I've lost another pound...[!]

then there are the various physical "surprises"...

the collar bones I discovered by chance...
[I was afraid at first that they were "lumps"...]
and the bones at the center of my rib cage...
though the existence of my hip bones are still a mystery...

the brand new, non-spandex, "real" jeans I'd never worn, that fit now...
my knees are beginning to appear a bit "knobby"...
and I now have only have one chin...
[sagging neck skin, but only one chin...]

none of my underwear fits anymore...
and all my rings are too big...
so that if I get just a bit dehydrated, they fall off...
[the rings... not the underwear... at least not yet...]
even the Celtic knot ring I just got repaired is quite loose...

and then there are those new shoes I bought to "walk" in...
I told the sales guy that the "D's" were too wide...
but the next width down was "B" which would be too narrow...
so I got an enormous blister between my big & 2nd toe on my first walk...
now I'll just have to wear a bandage on both toes when I walk...

at least now, getting down to my toes to apply the band aides is easier...

I continue to battle with nerve pinches & arthritis in my lower back & hips...
but this is exacerbated with any dehydration...
& the subsequent muscle & ligament knots that form because of it...

I've been taking the glucosamine/chondroiton combo in liquid form...
[I'm using "Elations"..."Joint Juice" is similar...]
the liquid form allows your body to absorb it better...
and heal the joints more efficiently...

and it has helped with the joint pain...

I find it ironic that when I was dropping weight quickly...
my joints would stop hurting, only to have the pain return...
as my body became used to the new, lower weight...
it has reacted to the liquid gluc./chond. the same way...

some days, I feel great... no pain... really loose & flexible...

then other days, I might twist or bend the wrong way...
& then have to fight pinched nerves for several days...
making the battle to stay hydrated a chore...
as when my back flares up, laying on my bed is the only relief...
& the constant running to the bathroom is literally, "a pain"...

but all things considered, I'd rather be here...
than where I was just a couple of years ago...
paralyzed with fear of the results of a continued loss of mobility & strength...
that my deteriorating physical condition was causing...

interestingly enough, I'd tried to lose weight all my adult life...

and it wasn't until the fall of 2007 that I began to have any success at all...
this recent hCG success was also unexpected & surprisingly easy...

but then, God was in it and I suppose that was the key that I'd been searching for...

His way... His time... that I may become His faithful servant...

God is good...