...progress

Fluff's eye seems to really be improving...
it was all red and inflamed at one point...
with a pus oozing ulcer...

the ulcer is much smaller, not oozing pus...
and I can tell she's adjusting to being a one-eyed cat..
as she's not stumbling around anymore...

many thanks to all who have been praying for her...
she's doing much better...

on the other hand...



Creamer is a "mixed bag"...
I haven't found a lot of runny stool...
but I have found some...

I'm feeding her/them the ID canned food...
[which I've seen her eat...]
but I also have to feed the Friskies turkey...
and that was not good for her before...

I bought the same dry "kitten food"...
that she successfully ate at the vet's...
but she doesn't seem interested...
she's eating, but needs to eat more...
to regain the weight she lost...

so Creamer could use some prayers & "good thoughts" too...

on the other hand...[sorry, couldn't resist...]

Frankenfinger is gone... allowing the "therapy to begin"...

s-l-o-w-l-y...

here you see my finger, "straight"...



here, you see it bent !



a 45˚ degree angle may not seem like much to you...
but it is 45˚s from the formerly "pinned" joint...
that was held rigidly straight for more than a month...
after being rigidly bent & injured for 5 weeks...

I must say that during this period...
I am in a lot of pain, most of the time...
almost as bad as post-surgery...
and will need to actually use my hand less...
for the next week or so until the "wire hole" heals...
and the tight muscles, repaired tendon & ligaments loosen up...

however, I do have my trusty Excedrin...
and the nice warm & comfy "finger cozy"...
so I'm keeping it warm & that really helps...

I really hope to get better soon...
because all around me, Spring is bursting out...
and, country girl that I am...
I'm getting that "itch" to get my hands in dirt...

cleaning-up & preparing the garden for planting...
then planting flowers & veggies to watch grow as the days warm...
I'm hoping to spend a lot of time out in the garden this year...


to finish cleaning up the back yard...

and maybe...

even tackle the garage...

[now that's a massive undertaking...]

"...alas poor Frankenfinger", it is no more...YEA !!!

this was the last portrait of Frankenfinger...
taken about 9 AM...



here, from behind...
showing why it was named "Frankenfinger"...
[the wire sticking out...? neck bolts...?]



and one last time from "straight on"...
also showing the knuckle closures...

and now... about 10:30 AM...

tah-dah...

no more Frankenfinger...



here, in a close-up, you can see the "hole"...



the doctor used some pliers to remove the wire...
& yes, it hurt when he pulled it out...
but it barely bled at all...

my finger is feeling better for the pin being out...
though it still hurts...
& will for a while as the "hole" fills in...
[a couple of days...]



here you see the pin, "out"...



since I couldn't satisfy my curiosity by seeing an x-ray...
I asked to have the pin so I could imagine how it was in there...
it doesn't look very big next to a tape measure...



but it looks gigantic next to my finger...



so here, I'm amusing myself...
trying to guess how it might have been positioned...



I'm actually kinda glad now...
that I didn't see x-rays of it,"in"...
I think it would have really creeped me out...

the "hole" will close up in a couple of days...
until then, I still have to keep a bandage on it...
and keep it dry to avoid infection...

I'm supposed to think of my finger...
as something that is frozen solid...
and let it gradually defrost by "melting"...
and to not try to hurry it along...

so I'm to slowly & gradually...
start trying to bend it...
and I've already been able to bend it...
just the tiniest bit... but it moved...

my next appointment is on St Patrick's Day...
if there is enough progress & movement...
I won't have to go to physical therapy...
so I'm taking it slowly & gently...

oh...and I am SO glad I have the finger cozy now...
since the current bandage is much smaller...
but at the moment, keeping the entire finger warm...
is very helpful for the management...
of the post pin-removal achy-ness & pain...

...updates : Creamer, Fluff, Molly & musings...

Creamer hasn't reverted to being a "poopy-butt" yet...
she has gained a bit of weight...
and seems happy to be home...
[ie...not growing at everyone, all the time...
especially SPie, her sworn enemy...]

and...

the other kitties have really gotten into eating...
the good quality dry food...
[sensitive stomach variety...]
so they are now eating only about a large can of turkey a day...
[they were eating 3 or 4...]
and since I just bought 10 cases[24cans/case]...
I shouldn't have to buy that again for a while...

the best thing was...
that when I put down the turkey...
Creamer didn't want any...
& waited for me to open the ID can...
["intestinal diet" from the vet...
which is the best for her...]

so I will need to buy the ID...
but only a couple of them are interested in it...
[which is good because it's $$$$]
and the prescription ID/SS dry...
[which is also $$$, but it really fills them up...]

Fluff's eye seems better to me every time I medicate her...
the red angry area has shrunk now...
so that the opaque eyeball is clearly visible all around it...
the ulcer isn't oozing pus anymore & will heal...
[that's what I'm praying for...
and appreciate the prayers of all of you who are too...]

Sneaky Pie just beat a hasty retreat under my chair...
with Molly, who has become more determined to play...
close behind in hot pursuit...

yesterday, I turned my back for too long...
and Molly swiped & cleaned off the cat dish...
so she went right back into the crate...
[aka "jail"...]
along with stern admonishments...

after I got home at 6 PM last night...
I let her out and noticed later...
that after going "outside"...
and eating HER dinner...
she had returned to the crate...
to let me know that she was being good...

the Halti collar and the Easy Walk harness together...
have transformed her from Ididerod trainee...
to well-behaved walking companion...

I'm using both together because of her size...
[she's a "tweener"...]
which allows her to pull out of the Halti...
if she pulls just the right way...
but she can't pull out of the harness...

along with the crate, they have solidified me as "Alpha"...
so I'd like to thank those readers with "dog smarts"...
for not only their support, but their practical advise as well...
[y'all know who you are...THANKS...]

on other fronts...

I was writing something and typed the word, "source"...
and as happens often, the "c" didn't print...
so I erased the "e" to fix it and noticed that I had,"sour"...

considering that I had been trying to write...
"weakness was the source of my bad attitude..."
I thought that tiny bit of insight...
quite apropos...
since my attitude had been quite sour...


hmmmmmm....

I guess I must be doing something correctly[it's about time...]
because my own words have come back to taunt me...
since I'd just said to someone...
"there is no limit in what God will give us...
just a limit to what we will accept..."

if I'd been wiser, or more spirit-filled...
I'd have told the enemy to leave me alone...
[rebuked him with scripture...]
but I was surrounded by people...
church people... & I was concerned with appearing crabby to them...
my old self-loathing[the picture thing really got to me...]
just overwhelmed me...

it was like seeing everything in slow motion...
knowing that you were loosing it...
knowing that you should do something...
but having no ability to think clearly...
or decide what to do...

if I'd been less into myself...
I might have called on the Lord...
who would have ended the problem...
but...I wasn't...& I didn't...

so several people saw the edges of my discomfort...
nowhere near as nasty as it might have been in times past...
but definitely NOT, my comfort zone...
or "finest hour" either...

however, in the spirit that...
"everything happens for a reason..."

it is Lent...

the time for reflection & introspection...

yesterday, a couple who do spiritual healing...
[he's a priest...]
came down to have lunch with the Bishop...
and they were at the Bible study...

the woman has "visions" when she does healing...
and I asked her to pray for me & my financial situation...
after we prayed, she looked at me strangely...
and said, "I see many doors for you..."
I didn't ask for clarification...
but got the impression that those doors were closing...

after the really good, insightful Bible study...
the healing prayer and the mass...
with the Bishop's terrific sermon...
I felt in a state of Grace...

perhaps I should have expected the enemy to attack...
my most vulnerable area, my self-esteem...
and when he did, I knew what to do...
I just didn't do it...

"...for all those things we have done...
and left, undone, we are heartily sorry...
and beg Your forgiveness..."

today is another chance...

..."wandering"...on a busy day

I got to bed late last night...
so getting up was a chore...
especially with the Piglet snuggling sweetly...
and purring...
[she's generally snoring...loudly...
and drooling...in my left ear...]

Fluff's eye seems to look better...



though she's obviously annoyed with the paparazzi here...



though it still looks nasty...
I think the ulcer is shrinking...



she's NOT in any pain...
and is very good about letting me put salve in her eye...



especially...

if that results in petting...
chin skritching...
and general adoration of Herself...

so after getting dressed, etc...
a bit more of a chore than usual...
since I had given in to pressure & agreed...
to have my picture taken for the church directory...
[have I ever mentioned that I detest having my picture taken ?]

anyway, I was off for the Bible study at the church...



I went in the office briefly to drop off something...
and saw our Bishop...



who was visiting us & would celebrate the noon mass...
after the Bible study...
I've always enjoyed his sermons & today's was no different...
preaching on the scripture passage...
where Jesus spends 40 days in the wilderness...

about how the enemy always goes after you...
when you are the most vulnerable or weak...
and how we should follow Christ's example...
& rebuke Satan with scripture...

little did I know that that would be a caveat...
for the rest of my day...

our usual lunch was skipped...
as several people needed to be elsewhere...
and the rest were lunching with the Bishop...

I went out into the rain...



to go to my vet's and retrieve Creamer...
who, of course, had had NO diarrhea while staying there...



she was glad to be home and I hope...
her "poopy-butt" days are gone...

while I was home, I put new batteries in my lablemaker...
it still wouldn't work...hasn't in a while...
that was fine...as long as it's twin at the church was working...
but it disappeared last summer, so this meant I had to get a new one...



since I had still a bunch of the tape cartridges it used...
I decided to look for the same one[that model's only 12 years old..]
and I found one on Amazon...but it was $65.00...ouch...
then I noticed that the newest version of the same model...
[that uses the same size tape !] was $29.95...
AND...it was on sale for $17.95 !!




at that price, I could afford to get 2...
one to replace the dead one at home...
[it had been used at school for years...]
and one to replace the one that vanished from the choir room at the church...
[and still have the same labels on the music storage boxes...]

having done that, I was off through the raindrops to...





in search of "legal sized 3-ring black vinyl binders"...

the Renaissance group is working on some music...
from the choral public domain website...
and the notes & words are too small to be easily read...

so our "bass" enlarged his copy of the songs we're doing...
and put them in a legal sized binder...
that he got at Office Max...

I knew I needed the large print version...
so I volunteered to copy a set for each of the 3 of us...
who wanted one in large print...
also agreeing to make it back-to-back...
and put it into the legal size binders...

so I was at OM to purchase 3 of the legal sized binders for us...
I was going to make the copies at the church...
so I was also going to get a ream of 11" x 17" copy paper...
and donate the remainder to the church...

I also planned to get...
10 smaller offset binders for the church choir [we're out...]
& some dividers to separate the Ren. group selections...

I found the legal binders quickly...
and the church ones were right below them...
the dividers were across the aisle...
and the copy paper was right where I thought it should be...

except...

there was only one package of the size & type I needed...
and it was ripped open...
though nearly all of it seemed to be there...

I took it to the cashier & asked about any more...
the manager said,"that's the last one...
but if you want it, I'll make it half price..."

so I happily paid for my stuff, lugged it to the car...
and made my way back to the church...

unfortunately, it was time for my photo to be taken...
[I really hate having my picture taken...ewwww...]

and I got grumpy with the photographer...
it didn't help that she was trying to be cheery...
but I quickly fell into grouch mode...
[what was that the Bishop had just preached on...?
the enemy goes after us when we are at a weak point...
and I was definitely there...& I paid for it big time...]

and this was the instrument of torture...



I was trying to take the enlarged single side pages...
and make a back-to-back master to use to run the 3 copies...
and since it was 11" x 17" paper...it kept wrinkling...
but only when the other side was being printed...

MzYBee came by for her picture,suffering with a miserable cold...
and seeing my plight...
[it wasn't hard to see, I kept telling the machine that I hated it...]
announced loudly that she'd made a lot of "books" when she taught...
and that it was the "heat"...
[I knew it wasn't...it was the size of the paper...]
but she kept telling me it was the "heat"...
so I gave up "discussing it"...

finally...after messing around for what seemed like eons...
I had a decent "master" set that was back-to-back...
and relatively "wrinkle-free"...
so I made 2 more copies... checked the order...

labled the back of the only piece...
that's just 2 pages, so that it opens in "facing" pages...
[ie is NOT back-to-back...]...
then cut about 3" off the bottoms...
punched holes & put them inside the binders...
which I had labeled, "Festino" on the spines...

I discovered that the dividers I bought were too narrow...
they would be swallowed up by the music...
and be useless...
[making the music narrower, was NOT an option...
due to the need to have holes punched...
and the lack of a viable margin to cut off on the right side...

here you can see the original size on the left...



and the "enlarged" version on the right...



and yes, the right margin does stick out a bit...
but on a music stand, it won't be noticed...



here you see the enlarged version of the facing pages...
on the one piece that was only 2 pages...

finally done...3 enlarged copies secure in the legal sized binders...
I left the office at the same time as Square Peg...
I looked at the clock in my car... it was 6 PM...
I drove home...it had finally stopped raining...

so as I finish writing this...
I'm thinking of the blessings of this morning...
and there were many...

and then the wilderness time in the afternoon...
when I knew what the problem was...
but was too tired, grumpy & sore to really deal with it...

despite all of that...

I got the copies made...
and got some other stuff done...
so now, I'm going to cobble together something to eat...
take some MORE Excedrin...
and go to bed...

for tomorrow is the first...
of our Lenten Soup/Study/Benediction/Taizé evening services...
and Thursday is my doctor's appointment...
where he will probably remove the wire from my finger...
[alas, old Frankenfinger, it's time to go...]
then Friday, I have to get my hair cut...

and so it goes...

...finally, the gardenia gets planted

I bought this gardenia last spring around Easter...
the plan was to replace the dead one in front...

but the creeper was in full grow mode...
and it didn't happen...
so the gardenia summered in the back yard...



the area in the front under the nook bay window...
has become "creeperland"...



causing the iris to ooze onto the leaf litter...
that collects between the prolific runners...
and start growing on the curb & walkway...
[this picture was taken, after I cut back all the runners...
that were growing out onto the walk & driveway...]



by the time fall had caused the creeper leaves to color & drop...
it was quite a mess...iris oozing over the curb...
happily making a home in the leaf litter between the runners...
the old trellis leaning over precariously...
& the dead gardenia bush buried in tangled creeper vines...



with the corpse of the dead gardenia...
shrouded in tangled creeper runners...
that went every which way...
along with now growing iris oozing over the curb...
and onto the walkway & driveway...

something had to be done soon...
as the creeper buds were starting to swell...
and would soon make getting getting the old bush out...
and the new one in, as well as new trellises...
and general creeper containment...
impossible for yet another year...

then...it rained today...
and a kind person came by to help...
[more like, do all the work & I "helped"...]

"we" cut back the creeper...
cleared out the dead rose bush & gardenia stumps...
removed an old, useless soaker hose...
installed 2 large trellises...
one to hold back the old trellis & creeper...
one for the climbing rose to climb...
and tied everything in place...
harvested a bunch of "mulch",which was saved...
rescued a bunch of iris which are resting on the mulch...
planted a small azalea and the gardenia...
and cleaned up...



I may put some iris tubers back here...
as he says, "it's a clean palette"...
or I may put in something colorful...



in cutting back & thinning out the creeper...
we also "organized it"...
making sure it won't just grow right back...
covering up the new gardenia & the rose bush...



it all looks so good, I can't wait to have both hands back...
so I can tackle the south side of the house, next to the driveway...

Thanks, Mr. Greenthumb !

...taking a deep breath, again

I hope I'm heading for the light at the end of the tunnel I'm in...



all indications are that I'm moving in the right direction...



but I can't see the path...

I know it's there...but it's outside my experience...
and very much outside of my comfort zone...

I've spent my entire life, making myself "comfortable"...
and soon, the means for that will all disappear...
so I must change paths...

take the path away from all the stuff I've acquired...
and like the man with many possessions that Jesus told...
"to sell all he owned and follow Him"...
I find myself dreading what He may want me to let go of...

it's not that I love the stuff more than God...
but it is a part of me and not easily shed...
because of the security associated with it...
and I'm nothing, if not "a security junkie"...

I still have several months left at the current rate of decline...
before the economic downturn, it was years...
and have come to the point of recognizing enough guidance...
that I'm sure God will see me through...
but I am, quite frankly, afraid of what He might ask of me...

which is really, quite a silly fear, for God will not require...
that which He will not give the strength, to deal with...

I have been led to several money making opportunities...
some I've explored and had the door shut in my face...
but there are always more things to check out...
and there is one coming up that will be great...
if it works as advertised...
fortunately, going to check it out is free...

I have never been good living with a budget...
I either become completely cheap & spend nothing...
or just do what I want, generally spending too much...

although, occasionally, I've been known to spend money...
like a "drunken sailor on shore leave"...

so as I sat down to figure out just where I stood financially...

I was having trouble concentrating...
especially as the numbers added up until panic began to creep in...

as I looked at the impossible situation in front of me...
that little voice told me to "trust Him"...
for everything...



to not panic & frantically try to sell everything I own...
to follow all "instructions"...
no matter how silly or unrealistic they might seem...

to give away things rather than sell...
to continue on...

not as the "drunken sailor" or the cheapskate...

but to be a good steward, from now on...
which includes "spending money"...
"paying debts", fulfilling obligations...
and expecting an abundance of blessings and needs met...

I keep getting confirmation of this...
so I know that it's the way...

what makes this time different from the other times ?

then, I got pointed in what I thought was the direction...
I then started "doing it" all, myself...
trying to "make it happen"...
"figuring it all out"...

I'm beginning to realize that an instrument is only useful...
when skilled hands can utilize it...

for that, it must be in good order & repair...
all the parts working correctly...

if not, it will not perform properly and must be repaired...
or, replaced...

the instrument cannot repair or restore itself...
even routine maintenance needs to be done by a competent worker...
or the master cannot use the instrument...

and it sits, unused...perhaps it becomes lost or damaged from neglect...

all the potential in the world won't help...
if you're in the wrong place and NOT ready...

I have relied on my Mom, or credit or....myself...
now, the Master CEFO is asking me to rest only in Him...
to love Him enough to let go of my control of my stuff...
and especially, the fear of His path for me...

and let Him truly be, the Lord of my life...

"to boldly go, where I have never gone before..."



to take that "leap of faith"...outside of all reason...

and to just trust Him...for everything...and with everything...

I believe this is the way...
because I have a real deep sense of peace about this...

God is good...all the time...

look out below...

...Fluff update

this was yesterday...



the ulcer hadn't come to a head yet...

today, however...



it has, big time...

I don't know if that's a good or bad thing...

if it's going to heal, it has to drain...
and from the pus collecting in the corner of her eye...
it's doing that...

she doesn't seem to be in pain & lets me medicate her...

as far as I know, the "best case" would be that it heals...
and she has a blind eye for the rest of her life...
but she has an eyeball & doesn't need the surgery...

worst case...would involve surgery to remove the eyeball...
which at her age is very risky...
not to mention another expense I don't need...

so I'm asking anyone who reads this to pray for Fluff...
and her complete recovery...

in any case, God is good...all the time...