I've been battling for days now....
the overwhelming clouds of sadness,
missed opportunities and losses...
the frustration and pain of my life,
has come at me like waves of grief...
threatening to drown me in deep,
dark, icy gloom...
much like the skies outside...
it seemed as though all bits of hope were gone...
the tree that glowed in the street lamp so recently,
is now naked and shivering in the dank and cold....
the bright sparkling lights of the season,
taken down, put away or if still up...
no longer gleaming...
this is a different place than the hole
that two fellow travelers helped me out of,
about 6 weeks ago...
and even if they were standing right here...
as much as they would want to help...
this is not their job, it is mine...
and can only be done by me...
I know how to get out of this place, the only question is...
can or will I actually be able to do it...
because, to get out of this place...
I must leave a large part of myself here
and never return...
a very wise and loving friend once said that
"the enemy wants us depressed and sad"...
she also made some comments, with the central idea that
"...things that are in the past,
and that have been forgiven by God, are over...
we don't need to be concerned with them anymore...
they make no difference to anyone now..."
what you know in your heart and mind
and what you can affect in your life,
can be two very different things...
my struggle, for as long as I can remember,
is with my sense of being "not good enough",
not deserving of good things,
destined to be alone or
just plain, "unworthy" of love...
until my two friends helped me out of the hole I'd been in...
a hole of total despair and lack of loving contact...
I was so walled off from the healing warmth of His love,
there was no way that I could deal with the underlying issues...
getting out of the hole allowed me to begin
to stop blocking God's love from my life...
to start releasing the piles of "stuff" and things
that I was using to block the pain of isolation... His love...
and anyone who wanted to be my friend...
so why do I still have a "problem" ?
before, there was the hole of despair...
I dug it because of "the problem"...
that part of me I've always been at heart...
isolated...but craving contact....
the warmth of feeling loved...
to borrow from C.S.Lewis...
"...always winter...never Christmas..."
when Aslan is "on the move"...
we hear sleigh bells...and see Santa...
when God sent my friends to pull me out of the hole,
that was the beginning...it was still winter...
and now after the realization that I have to walk away...
from the self I've known forever...
an awful, grief-stricken, tortured soul that has always been me...
I don't know how to do that...
getting out of the hole made me want more...
I'm fighting that nasty little voice that has always laughed at me
for thinking I was deserving of more...
I want to have all that God wants for me
I just don't know how to be "not me"...
I know that "Aslan is on the move"...
Aslan is a "large cat", and not a "tame one" either...
but, I am the Catsinger....
what do I do next ?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
...wanted : "gopherwood"
in an apparent attempt to live up to a cliché...
[when it rains, it pours...]
it's been really stormy today...
heavy rain, winds gusting to 50 mph...
it affects each of us...but not always in the same way...
smart cats [and people] take one look outside,
and go back to bed...
Piglet, Queen of the North, stands in the open window...
rain lashing at the glass, wind howling...
stay in ? ... or go out ? ....
so, she goes out... and before I can finish tying my shoes,
she is not only "back", but dripping...with muddy wet paws...
walking in my bed, which I hadn't made yet...
and complaining about the weather...
"It's WET !" she moans...
"I don't WANT it to be wet !"
"Make it stop... NOW ! "... she's really mad at this point...
" Fine," I say...so I close the window, and you'd think that I'd just
destroyed all chance for her to have a happy life.....
and now, it's "on", in spades....
" No, No, NO ! ... I must be out, Out, OUT ! ", she screams...
" NOW !"...[this is not a suggestion or even a request...it is an imperative ! ]
so I open the window to "squall world", and out she scampers...
I make my bed, after cleaning off the muddy tracks,
and go into the kitchen to feed the others...
after a few chores, I return to the, now, frigid and damp bedroom,
to find both Piglet & Fluff, curled up, asleep on my bed...
Piglet's fur is dry, so she not only came back in very quickly,
but she has been "in" for quite sometime....
in the meantime, I close the window, shutting out the gale...
hearing the window close, she stirs and protests,
merely as a matter of record, that the window should stay open...
but, is asleep again almost immediately...
maybe I should go "online" and find a source for "gopherwood",
in case an "ark" is called for...
but I already know how it would go, in the "loading" process ....
will she come onboard ? or learn to swim ?
cats... never a dull moment...
[when it rains, it pours...]
it's been really stormy today...
heavy rain, winds gusting to 50 mph...
it affects each of us...but not always in the same way...
smart cats [and people] take one look outside,
and go back to bed...
Piglet, Queen of the North, stands in the open window...
rain lashing at the glass, wind howling...
stay in ? ... or go out ? ....
so, she goes out... and before I can finish tying my shoes,
she is not only "back", but dripping...with muddy wet paws...
walking in my bed, which I hadn't made yet...
and complaining about the weather...
"It's WET !" she moans...
"I don't WANT it to be wet !"
"Make it stop... NOW ! "... she's really mad at this point...
" Fine," I say...so I close the window, and you'd think that I'd just
destroyed all chance for her to have a happy life.....
and now, it's "on", in spades....
" No, No, NO ! ... I must be out, Out, OUT ! ", she screams...
" NOW !"...[this is not a suggestion or even a request...it is an imperative ! ]
so I open the window to "squall world", and out she scampers...
I make my bed, after cleaning off the muddy tracks,
and go into the kitchen to feed the others...
after a few chores, I return to the, now, frigid and damp bedroom,
to find both Piglet & Fluff, curled up, asleep on my bed...
Piglet's fur is dry, so she not only came back in very quickly,
but she has been "in" for quite sometime....
in the meantime, I close the window, shutting out the gale...
hearing the window close, she stirs and protests,
merely as a matter of record, that the window should stay open...
but, is asleep again almost immediately...
maybe I should go "online" and find a source for "gopherwood",
in case an "ark" is called for...
but I already know how it would go, in the "loading" process ....
will she come onboard ? or learn to swim ?
cats... never a dull moment...
musical "meme-ham" [pun intended...]
OK...trying again....
this time, in "honor" of all the
"hours I've spent, with a horn or score in my hand"...
in the "pit ", "on risers" or "on the stage"...
"in costume", basic black or "orchestra black"
the meme you have been waiting for...
hours in the making...no expenses spared...
the meme for thespians & singers & musicians & dancers
& actors & roadies & tech-ies & stage door junkies...
appearing on this very blog...
The "On-Stage" meme....
[all members of AFTA,AGMA,AFM, etc...be kind...]
1] What is your favorite show to "watch".... ?
I've only "seen" them from the pit, in my mind....
better than any could be staged
2] What was your favorite production to be involved with ?
.....so many...
opera : Butterfly...La Boheme...Carmen
musical...Man of La Mancha or Ain't Mis b'havin',
symphonic Mahler 1 & 5, Verdi Requiem, Rutter Gloria..
choral...Rutter Requiem, Brahms Requiem, Mahler 2,3 & 8,
Valentine Requiem, Fauré Requiem, Lessons & Carols
ballet...Nutcracker, Swan Lake
3] Can you say anything positive about the movie versions of stage classics ?
people got "work"...[M of LM, film reeked...]
4] What was the first film you remember seeing ? When ?
Peter Pan, first-run at a drive-in movie with my Dad, 1951
5] Did you see many films growing up ?
no...lived in the country...going in to town for a movie...didn't happen..
6] When did your family get a TV set ?
I was in 2nd grade, so 1955 or 56
7] Do you remember listening to programs[drama, comedy] on the radio ?
yes...The Lone Ranger, Dragnet, Gunsmoke, Jack Benny, Amos & Andy,etc..
8] When did you first "perform" in a public place ? Where ?
1st grade Christmas program for school, sang "Hark, the Herald..."
I was just 6 and unafraid...
9] Did you take music lessons as a child ? On what ?
Mom tried to teach me piano, the fundamentals of music "stuck",
the piano...not so much
trumpet at school from age 9...
had first real trumpet lesson in college...
took voice lessons in college and piano again
[poor Mr. Elliott, suffered long...]
10] Did you enjoy performing for others ?
yes...if I felt secure
and didn't have to "memorize"
then I would fall apart,
and not in a good way...
11] How important was music to you as a child/young adult ?
music was everything,
although I could not have put it in words...
I lived for "band", "choir" and later "orchestra"...
I merely marked time between
honor band/orchestra and music camp...
I was always singing, if only to myself...
12] What kinds of musical groups did you participate in growing up ?
see # 11...anything and everything I could be in...
also in plays in 8th grade and high school drama club...
was always part of the crew for the class plays
and the one musical we did my Sr. year,"Brigadoon"
[I did sets, costumes, sang in the chorus
and played lead trumpet in the pit [my 1st time...]
13] What instruments [including voice ] do you still play now ? Do you enjoy it ?
I sing and play trumpet[ and all it's kith & kin..]
I wouldn't still be doing it, if I didn't love it...
14] What else, musically, would you like to do that you haven't done, or learned to do yet ?
I always have wanted to be in a small group
that does folk music [Simon & Garfunkel, Seekers,PP&M...]
I'll probably never get to though...
15] Have you appeared "onstage" in any productions ? List them & your "role"...
My only "on stage" role
[...but who'll play the trumpet if you...]
was as Chio-Chio San's mother
in the chorus of Pucchini's Madama Butterfly,
Music From Bear Valley, 1982 [?]
16] Do you want to direct ?
been there, done that...sort of still doing that...
in bits & pieces...
17] What work [play, musical, opera, ballet, symphonic work]
have you never been involved with
that you would like to "be involved with" ?
Jesus Christ,Superstar...
[although colleagues tell me it's a killer to play]
18] What does "canticum, ergo sum" mean to you ?
the meaning of life, itself...after my faith...
19] Performing what work [see # 17 ] has been your favorite experience ?
Mahler's 8th, Chicago Symphony Orchestra & Chorus,
Carnegie Hall, NYC,20 min. SO...
WOW !
20] How many "musicals" do you know the lyrics to, by heart ?
probably less than a few years ago...then, at least 12 -15
if I played them, I knew them...
21] Do you know the difference between "The Nutcracker"
and "the Nutcracker Suite" ?
yes... the former is the entire ballet,
the latter, a few of the most popular
musical selections from the ballet
[Greatest Hits, as it were....]
generally played by orchestras, in concert,
without dancers present...
22] In what languages were the following originally written ?
Messiah[Handel] (English)
Requiem [Fauré] (Latin)
Nutcracker[Tschaikowski] (trick question...
only singing is "ooo" & "ahh")
Othello[Verdi] (Italian)
Tosca[Pucchini] (Italian)
Magic Flute[Mozart] (probably German...
because of the origins, but maybe also Italian, too)
West Side Story[Bernstein] (English)
Chichester Psalms[Bernstein] (Hebrew)
Fiddler on the Roof[Sheldon] (English, with some Yiddish..)
Ninth Symphony[Beethoven] (auf Deutch !)
23] True or false : all chorus members in a production
should apply their own make-up, if they are capable
[ie. trained...]
depends whether or not orchestra members
can watch and thus be amused....
or, even better, "make-up" should be videotaped....
so orchestra members don't have to arrive
4 hours before "curtain"...
but can still be amused....
24] What happens in the "wings", should "stay in the wings".... yes or no .....?
absolutely, positively....[ no cell phone cameras, either..]
ditto with "in the pit..." or the "Green Room"
25] Part of the "theater experience" includes :
rehearsal tights with "unfortunate runs",
people who must effect "quick", complete costume changes in the wings,
seeing prop swords, etc. sail past your head into the "pit",
stand lights with 5 watt bulbs, covered with dark blue gels...
director's "notes,w/ changes after the dress...
key changes,[aka transpositions...], necessitated by laryngitis or other cast substitution...
AC on full blast, in January, blowing only into the pit...
actors, who generally wear glasses, falling into the pit,
and landing on a 'cello...
Do you have any to add ?
...that pretty well covers most of it , without a violation of # 24....
26] The worst "scourge" of the artiste, musical or otherwise, is :
a] the accompanist who never follows the conductor in the performances
after sticking like glue in rehearsal....
b] the lead who never gives a cue line the same way twice...
c] the conductor who never gives a cue, at all...
d] the stage manager who thinks that they are a god,
and look for ways to prove it...
e] the un-cut, urtext, original composer's score version of anything,
that takes more than 4 hours to stage...
f] all of the above...
"f", plus some.....[see # 24...]
27] Which have you found "more annoying" ?
a] members of the "large" chorus, with an early call,
have found the orchestra parking, and used it all...
b] members of the "orchestra" are complaining to the world that
"singers" parked in the "musician's" lot....
c] stage hands have been in the Green Room
and ate everything, before the sound check was over...
d] actor/ dancers have stood outside the singer's entrance,
smoking, as the singers were entering...
e] string players and percussionists are having a lavish picnic
during the intermission, driving the wind players crazy...
f] the trombone player who sits in the far corner of the pit,
and is always the last person to get to his place, "in the pit"...
g] having the Italian lyrics for the chorus of Madama Butterfly
running through your head, when you're trying to get to sleep...
h] having a "senior moment" when someone asks the "call time"....
all are annoying, however.....
"a" is bad , if you have a lot to carry or there is no other parking...
"b" is bad if you're a singer who is also a "musician"...
[there are some of us who take umbrage at singers not being
considered "musicians" by some instrumentalists ...]
"c" is bad under nearly all circumstances,
unless you're a stagehand, in which case, "score"...!
"d" is bad if you breathe air, unless,of course, you also smoke,
in which case, now you're "jones-ing" and it's call time...
"e" is really bad if you're one of those who can't eat before you play...
especially when they offer you food...knowing that...and laugh...
"f" is really bad if you sit right in front of the entrance/exit
and you've finally been able to position yourself,
and all your stuff, then he enters, with all his stuff,
crawling over you and kicking your stuff,
every rehearsal & performance.....
just before the downbeat...
right when you have to play...
"g" is really bad if you're performing the opera
in English or if you have to get up at 0-dark:30 AM...
"h" is really bad if you are the chorus manager,
orchestra manager, stage manager or director
28] What is your favorite "on stage" moment, to this point ?
see # 19, although I've had a couple of absolutely magical,
musical moments at church in the last couple of years...
29] There is a special place in Hell for ______________ who ____________ during __________. [fill-in the blanks]
singers/orchestra members /actors/ dancers.....hog the bathroom stalls....
pre-concert or post concert...changing clothes....
if there are no changing areas, I can understand, but it's still hard on those who need to "go"
30] What's the worst thing that has happened, you've seen happen or you're afraid might happen, during "Bows" or curtain calls ?
in the dress for "Promises, Promises",while playing "Bows",
my stand partner turned pages quickly,
accidentally hitting my trumpet, which split my lip open...
31] My worst nightmare regarding a production is .............
some major natural disaster during a performance...fire, earthquake...
narrowly escaped a tornado [1/2 mile from the path]
during a concert in Mississippi, on tour, 1977...
32] My re-occurring nightmare regarding a performance/rehearsal is....................................
I'm late and can't find my car, where my instrument & music are,
so I can't get to the first rehearsal of something very important...
for which I am being paid a lot of money...
actually, I get there...my instrument/music don't...
33] I have been affected by a production/concert being cancelled due to an "act of God", yes or no ?
yes... JFK assassination [1963],
severe storm cancelled my school Holiday Concert 1992,
I was at a rehearsal on the evening of 9/11/2001
34] Explain # 33...
1963 half-time show [yes, they were "productions"]
everything stopped in this country then...
1992[I think...] severe wind & rain caused
unsafe driving conditions, power outage, localized flooding
2001 SSO reh. none of us wanted to be there...
but "the show must go on..."
35] I do what I do in the theater BECAUSE :
a] it is/was my job...
b] it is/was fun.....
c] it is/was something that is "inside" me and must be expressed...
d] I love/loved it and can't imagine life without it...a dream come true...
e] other [please explain...]
....all of the above and I've been blessed to be able to
"live my dream" for as long as I did....
this time, in "honor" of all the
"hours I've spent, with a horn or score in my hand"...
in the "pit ", "on risers" or "on the stage"...
"in costume", basic black or "orchestra black"
the meme you have been waiting for...
hours in the making...no expenses spared...
the meme for thespians & singers & musicians & dancers
& actors & roadies & tech-ies & stage door junkies...
appearing on this very blog...
The "On-Stage" meme....
[all members of AFTA,AGMA,AFM, etc...be kind...]
1] What is your favorite show to "watch".... ?
I've only "seen" them from the pit, in my mind....
better than any could be staged
2] What was your favorite production to be involved with ?
.....so many...
opera : Butterfly...La Boheme...Carmen
musical...Man of La Mancha or Ain't Mis b'havin',
symphonic Mahler 1 & 5, Verdi Requiem, Rutter Gloria..
choral...Rutter Requiem, Brahms Requiem, Mahler 2,3 & 8,
Valentine Requiem, Fauré Requiem, Lessons & Carols
ballet...Nutcracker, Swan Lake
3] Can you say anything positive about the movie versions of stage classics ?
people got "work"...[M of LM, film reeked...]
4] What was the first film you remember seeing ? When ?
Peter Pan, first-run at a drive-in movie with my Dad, 1951
5] Did you see many films growing up ?
no...lived in the country...going in to town for a movie...didn't happen..
6] When did your family get a TV set ?
I was in 2nd grade, so 1955 or 56
7] Do you remember listening to programs[drama, comedy] on the radio ?
yes...The Lone Ranger, Dragnet, Gunsmoke, Jack Benny, Amos & Andy,etc..
8] When did you first "perform" in a public place ? Where ?
1st grade Christmas program for school, sang "Hark, the Herald..."
I was just 6 and unafraid...
9] Did you take music lessons as a child ? On what ?
Mom tried to teach me piano, the fundamentals of music "stuck",
the piano...not so much
trumpet at school from age 9...
had first real trumpet lesson in college...
took voice lessons in college and piano again
[poor Mr. Elliott, suffered long...]
10] Did you enjoy performing for others ?
yes...if I felt secure
and didn't have to "memorize"
then I would fall apart,
and not in a good way...
11] How important was music to you as a child/young adult ?
music was everything,
although I could not have put it in words...
I lived for "band", "choir" and later "orchestra"...
I merely marked time between
honor band/orchestra and music camp...
I was always singing, if only to myself...
12] What kinds of musical groups did you participate in growing up ?
see # 11...anything and everything I could be in...
also in plays in 8th grade and high school drama club...
was always part of the crew for the class plays
and the one musical we did my Sr. year,"Brigadoon"
[I did sets, costumes, sang in the chorus
and played lead trumpet in the pit [my 1st time...]
13] What instruments [including voice ] do you still play now ? Do you enjoy it ?
I sing and play trumpet[ and all it's kith & kin..]
I wouldn't still be doing it, if I didn't love it...
14] What else, musically, would you like to do that you haven't done, or learned to do yet ?
I always have wanted to be in a small group
that does folk music [Simon & Garfunkel, Seekers,PP&M...]
I'll probably never get to though...
15] Have you appeared "onstage" in any productions ? List them & your "role"...
My only "on stage" role
[...but who'll play the trumpet if you...]
was as Chio-Chio San's mother
in the chorus of Pucchini's Madama Butterfly,
Music From Bear Valley, 1982 [?]
16] Do you want to direct ?
been there, done that...sort of still doing that...
in bits & pieces...
17] What work [play, musical, opera, ballet, symphonic work]
have you never been involved with
that you would like to "be involved with" ?
Jesus Christ,Superstar...
[although colleagues tell me it's a killer to play]
18] What does "canticum, ergo sum" mean to you ?
the meaning of life, itself...after my faith...
19] Performing what work [see # 17 ] has been your favorite experience ?
Mahler's 8th, Chicago Symphony Orchestra & Chorus,
Carnegie Hall, NYC,20 min. SO...
WOW !
20] How many "musicals" do you know the lyrics to, by heart ?
probably less than a few years ago...then, at least 12 -15
if I played them, I knew them...
21] Do you know the difference between "The Nutcracker"
and "the Nutcracker Suite" ?
yes... the former is the entire ballet,
the latter, a few of the most popular
musical selections from the ballet
[Greatest Hits, as it were....]
generally played by orchestras, in concert,
without dancers present...
22] In what languages were the following originally written ?
Messiah[Handel] (English)
Requiem [Fauré] (Latin)
Nutcracker[Tschaikowski] (trick question...
only singing is "ooo" & "ahh")
Othello[Verdi] (Italian)
Tosca[Pucchini] (Italian)
Magic Flute[Mozart] (probably German...
because of the origins, but maybe also Italian, too)
West Side Story[Bernstein] (English)
Chichester Psalms[Bernstein] (Hebrew)
Fiddler on the Roof[Sheldon] (English, with some Yiddish..)
Ninth Symphony[Beethoven] (auf Deutch !)
23] True or false : all chorus members in a production
should apply their own make-up, if they are capable
[ie. trained...]
depends whether or not orchestra members
can watch and thus be amused....
or, even better, "make-up" should be videotaped....
so orchestra members don't have to arrive
4 hours before "curtain"...
but can still be amused....
24] What happens in the "wings", should "stay in the wings".... yes or no .....?
absolutely, positively....[ no cell phone cameras, either..]
ditto with "in the pit..." or the "Green Room"
25] Part of the "theater experience" includes :
rehearsal tights with "unfortunate runs",
people who must effect "quick", complete costume changes in the wings,
seeing prop swords, etc. sail past your head into the "pit",
stand lights with 5 watt bulbs, covered with dark blue gels...
director's "notes,w/ changes after the dress...
key changes,[aka transpositions...], necessitated by laryngitis or other cast substitution...
AC on full blast, in January, blowing only into the pit...
actors, who generally wear glasses, falling into the pit,
and landing on a 'cello...
Do you have any to add ?
...that pretty well covers most of it , without a violation of # 24....
26] The worst "scourge" of the artiste, musical or otherwise, is :
a] the accompanist who never follows the conductor in the performances
after sticking like glue in rehearsal....
b] the lead who never gives a cue line the same way twice...
c] the conductor who never gives a cue, at all...
d] the stage manager who thinks that they are a god,
and look for ways to prove it...
e] the un-cut, urtext, original composer's score version of anything,
that takes more than 4 hours to stage...
f] all of the above...
"f", plus some.....[see # 24...]
27] Which have you found "more annoying" ?
a] members of the "large" chorus, with an early call,
have found the orchestra parking, and used it all...
b] members of the "orchestra" are complaining to the world that
"singers" parked in the "musician's" lot....
c] stage hands have been in the Green Room
and ate everything, before the sound check was over...
d] actor/ dancers have stood outside the singer's entrance,
smoking, as the singers were entering...
e] string players and percussionists are having a lavish picnic
during the intermission, driving the wind players crazy...
f] the trombone player who sits in the far corner of the pit,
and is always the last person to get to his place, "in the pit"...
g] having the Italian lyrics for the chorus of Madama Butterfly
running through your head, when you're trying to get to sleep...
h] having a "senior moment" when someone asks the "call time"....
all are annoying, however.....
"a" is bad , if you have a lot to carry or there is no other parking...
"b" is bad if you're a singer who is also a "musician"...
[there are some of us who take umbrage at singers not being
considered "musicians" by some instrumentalists ...]
"c" is bad under nearly all circumstances,
unless you're a stagehand, in which case, "score"...!
"d" is bad if you breathe air, unless,of course, you also smoke,
in which case, now you're "jones-ing" and it's call time...
"e" is really bad if you're one of those who can't eat before you play...
especially when they offer you food...knowing that...and laugh...
"f" is really bad if you sit right in front of the entrance/exit
and you've finally been able to position yourself,
and all your stuff, then he enters, with all his stuff,
crawling over you and kicking your stuff,
every rehearsal & performance.....
just before the downbeat...
right when you have to play...
"g" is really bad if you're performing the opera
in English or if you have to get up at 0-dark:30 AM...
"h" is really bad if you are the chorus manager,
orchestra manager, stage manager or director
28] What is your favorite "on stage" moment, to this point ?
see # 19, although I've had a couple of absolutely magical,
musical moments at church in the last couple of years...
29] There is a special place in Hell for ______________ who ____________ during __________. [fill-in the blanks]
singers/orchestra members /actors/ dancers.....hog the bathroom stalls....
pre-concert or post concert...changing clothes....
if there are no changing areas, I can understand, but it's still hard on those who need to "go"
30] What's the worst thing that has happened, you've seen happen or you're afraid might happen, during "Bows" or curtain calls ?
in the dress for "Promises, Promises",while playing "Bows",
my stand partner turned pages quickly,
accidentally hitting my trumpet, which split my lip open...
31] My worst nightmare regarding a production is .............
some major natural disaster during a performance...fire, earthquake...
narrowly escaped a tornado [1/2 mile from the path]
during a concert in Mississippi, on tour, 1977...
32] My re-occurring nightmare regarding a performance/rehearsal is....................................
I'm late and can't find my car, where my instrument & music are,
so I can't get to the first rehearsal of something very important...
for which I am being paid a lot of money...
actually, I get there...my instrument/music don't...
33] I have been affected by a production/concert being cancelled due to an "act of God", yes or no ?
yes... JFK assassination [1963],
severe storm cancelled my school Holiday Concert 1992,
I was at a rehearsal on the evening of 9/11/2001
34] Explain # 33...
1963 half-time show [yes, they were "productions"]
everything stopped in this country then...
1992[I think...] severe wind & rain caused
unsafe driving conditions, power outage, localized flooding
2001 SSO reh. none of us wanted to be there...
but "the show must go on..."
35] I do what I do in the theater BECAUSE :
a] it is/was my job...
b] it is/was fun.....
c] it is/was something that is "inside" me and must be expressed...
d] I love/loved it and can't imagine life without it...a dream come true...
e] other [please explain...]
....all of the above and I've been blessed to be able to
"live my dream" for as long as I did....
Thursday, January 3, 2008
oh, boy !... Meme
after the tremendous success of my recent "huh," meme...
[all right, one person wanted more...
and she probably just wants easy "blog fodder"...
for the opera season...]
yet, undeterred by this possibility....
I've been inspired to "do more"...
since I was accused of being deficient in
"Y chromosome-acceptable material"...
[...that's "guy stuff" ...]
I proudly present the very manly, testosterone laden,
"oh, boy ! " meme.... [ladies, proceed with extreme caution...]
1] What's your favorite cut of steak ?
Rib eye... is there any other ?
2] How do you like it cooked ?
over fire...to med. rare...
3] Steak sauce, ketchup/catsup, mushrooms, fried onions or au natural [ S & P allowed....]
any or none, depends on how good the meat is....
4] Favorite steak house or place to get your favorite steak ?
at the Catsinger Café...I know the chef...
5] Favorite "adult beverage" beer [ light/dark ].... the hard stuff, "straight up" [name names...]
.... wine [varietal...] ..."cocktails" [which ones...] I don't drink....
DARK beer...darker, the better..."chewy beverage"..."good"
...although a GOOD red wine, ummmm !
6] Have you ever been to a strip club ? [as a patron...come on now...]
uh, no....
7] Boxers or briefs ? [tidy whities, tiger skin, bright red....]
....briefs...that's all you're getting from me...
8] Did you buy your own, or were they a "gift" ?
...haven't found the "sugar daddy" who'll buy me under ware, yet...
9] How often do you go "commando" ? .....NEVER, at least, not for years....
24/7
only when I need to do laundry...
only after I've worn each pair twice, inside out and normal...
10] How often do you do your laundry ?
...once a week...
11] How many pairs of underwear do you have ?...
more than a weeks worth...
12] How often do you wash your bed linens ?
every week or so...when they need it...
13] How do you know it's time to do laundry ? ...the hamper's full or it's Saturday...
I have nothing that hasn't been worn at least twice...
there's a funny smell near the laundry "pile", and I see "movement"...
my eyes water when I walk into my bedroom...
the city condemns my house...
14] Which of the following do you NOT consider a MAJOR food group :
Ketchup/catsup...[necessary for life]
RED MEAT.....[see above]
pizza.........[when I'm in the mood...]
BEER.....[DARK beer, ummmmm]
anything green[includes cheese]
.....[major food group...veggies good, green cheese, better...]
Nachos/tacos/burritos ......[see pizza answer...]
anything deep fried....[also see above...]
ice cream....[VERY hard, very good...]
15] If you were a firearm, what would you be ? [caliber, please...]
I. HATE. GUNS.
16] Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Red Dawn or Stripes ? Why ?
They're ALL scary, and for different reasons...
17] Necessary Roughness, North Dallas 40, The Longest Yard[1st one],
The Replacements or On Any Given Sunday ? Why ?
Necessary Roughness/The Replacements....they're the same film...
18] Vintage muscle cars : Mustang [Shelby GT], Pontiac GTO [65-73 only], Camaro or .....? Why ?
I owned a '69 GTO, 400 engine...could cruise at 100+, sigh...
19] How fast was the fastest you've ever driven ?..... Why ?
130mph...it was Utah, the Great Salt Desert, 1973 and I could....
20] Have you ever "tinkered " with an engine ? Results...
car that was "dead", started...I got home...
21] How much do you love sports ? ...I usually listen to baseball on the radio...used to be much more into it...
I listen to Sportstalk radio every day... sometimes...KNBR
I have seasons tickets to at least one sport... [had Giants tix in 2000 & 2001]
I have a "sports room" in my house... uhh, no...
I have my team logo tattooed on my body... no way, José
I sleep on "team logo" sheets... that's just weird...
22] How would you explain this phrase..."football, ergo sum..."
someone has too much free time [and testosterone...]
23] What's the longest you've gone without bathing...
[and NOT been depressed...]
4 days...
circumstances, please...[ie hunting trip...]
had surgery, couldn't get incision wet.....
24] What's your favorite way to relax ? [that doesn't involve K-Y jelly or magazines...]
that's just crude...who wrote this thing , anyway ?....
25] Favorite " 'dog"...
chili/cheese w/onions...[ummmm, chili dog...]
Chicago [neon green relish, hot peppers etc...]...almost never...I HATE hot peppers & neon relish
'kraut dog/mustard & onions....[ummm, 'kraut dog...]
custom [list ingredients please...]
usually mustard, onions,1000 Is. dressing,sometimes pickles, RIPE tomatoes
26] Nude or "topless" beaches...as a "tourist" or a "participant" ?
a "no-show"...and you should be thanking me...also, who wants to look at naked people ? yuck...
27] How many pairs of really ratty jeans do you own ?
probably 3 or 4...
28] Do you own a leather jacket ? [what style ?]
yes, distressed leather bomber.... & suede jacket
29] How many hats do you own and wear regularly ? [style...]
I have a Giants hat, a straw gardening hat and a "cat" hat...[if you're nice, I'll show it to you...]
30] Is there a beer in your hand right now ? Why not...? NO and , "good question..."
[all right, one person wanted more...
and she probably just wants easy "blog fodder"...
for the opera season...]
yet, undeterred by this possibility....
I've been inspired to "do more"...
since I was accused of being deficient in
"Y chromosome-acceptable material"...
[...that's "guy stuff" ...]
I proudly present the very manly, testosterone laden,
"oh, boy ! " meme.... [ladies, proceed with extreme caution...]
1] What's your favorite cut of steak ?
Rib eye... is there any other ?
2] How do you like it cooked ?
over fire...to med. rare...
3] Steak sauce, ketchup/catsup, mushrooms, fried onions or au natural [ S & P allowed....]
any or none, depends on how good the meat is....
4] Favorite steak house or place to get your favorite steak ?
at the Catsinger Café...I know the chef...
5] Favorite "adult beverage" beer [ light/dark ].... the hard stuff, "straight up" [name names...]
.... wine [varietal...] ..."cocktails" [which ones...] I don't drink....
DARK beer...darker, the better..."chewy beverage"..."good"
...although a GOOD red wine, ummmm !
6] Have you ever been to a strip club ? [as a patron...come on now...]
uh, no....
7] Boxers or briefs ? [tidy whities, tiger skin, bright red....]
....briefs...that's all you're getting from me...
8] Did you buy your own, or were they a "gift" ?
...haven't found the "sugar daddy" who'll buy me under ware, yet...
9] How often do you go "commando" ? .....NEVER, at least, not for years....
24/7
only when I need to do laundry...
only after I've worn each pair twice, inside out and normal...
10] How often do you do your laundry ?
...once a week...
11] How many pairs of underwear do you have ?...
more than a weeks worth...
12] How often do you wash your bed linens ?
every week or so...when they need it...
13] How do you know it's time to do laundry ? ...the hamper's full or it's Saturday...
I have nothing that hasn't been worn at least twice...
there's a funny smell near the laundry "pile", and I see "movement"...
my eyes water when I walk into my bedroom...
the city condemns my house...
14] Which of the following do you NOT consider a MAJOR food group :
Ketchup/catsup...[necessary for life]
RED MEAT.....[see above]
pizza.........[when I'm in the mood...]
BEER.....[DARK beer, ummmmm]
anything green[includes cheese]
.....[major food group...veggies good, green cheese, better...]
Nachos/tacos/burritos ......[see pizza answer...]
anything deep fried....[also see above...]
ice cream....[VERY hard, very good...]
15] If you were a firearm, what would you be ? [caliber, please...]
I. HATE. GUNS.
16] Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Red Dawn or Stripes ? Why ?
They're ALL scary, and for different reasons...
17] Necessary Roughness, North Dallas 40, The Longest Yard[1st one],
The Replacements or On Any Given Sunday ? Why ?
Necessary Roughness/The Replacements....they're the same film...
18] Vintage muscle cars : Mustang [Shelby GT], Pontiac GTO [65-73 only], Camaro or .....? Why ?
I owned a '69 GTO, 400 engine...could cruise at 100+, sigh...
19] How fast was the fastest you've ever driven ?..... Why ?
130mph...it was Utah, the Great Salt Desert, 1973 and I could....
20] Have you ever "tinkered " with an engine ? Results...
car that was "dead", started...I got home...
21] How much do you love sports ? ...I usually listen to baseball on the radio...used to be much more into it...
I listen to Sportstalk radio every day... sometimes...KNBR
I have seasons tickets to at least one sport... [had Giants tix in 2000 & 2001]
I have a "sports room" in my house... uhh, no...
I have my team logo tattooed on my body... no way, José
I sleep on "team logo" sheets... that's just weird...
22] How would you explain this phrase..."football, ergo sum..."
someone has too much free time [and testosterone...]
23] What's the longest you've gone without bathing...
[and NOT been depressed...]
4 days...
circumstances, please...[ie hunting trip...]
had surgery, couldn't get incision wet.....
24] What's your favorite way to relax ? [that doesn't involve K-Y jelly or magazines...]
that's just crude...who wrote this thing , anyway ?....
25] Favorite " 'dog"...
chili/cheese w/onions...[ummmm, chili dog...]
Chicago [neon green relish, hot peppers etc...]...almost never...I HATE hot peppers & neon relish
'kraut dog/mustard & onions....[ummm, 'kraut dog...]
custom [list ingredients please...]
usually mustard, onions,1000 Is. dressing,sometimes pickles, RIPE tomatoes
26] Nude or "topless" beaches...as a "tourist" or a "participant" ?
a "no-show"...and you should be thanking me...also, who wants to look at naked people ? yuck...
27] How many pairs of really ratty jeans do you own ?
probably 3 or 4...
28] Do you own a leather jacket ? [what style ?]
yes, distressed leather bomber.... & suede jacket
29] How many hats do you own and wear regularly ? [style...]
I have a Giants hat, a straw gardening hat and a "cat" hat...[if you're nice, I'll show it to you...]
30] Is there a beer in your hand right now ? Why not...? NO and , "good question..."
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
...the "blah-ogs"
I'm pretty sure that it wasn't the wonderful dark beer,
[it couldn't have been the marvelous German pancakes...
made with the same beer, either...or the plum sauce...]
I know it wasn't the delicious tabouli, [way too healthy...]
or the streak, gravy, etc., etc....
and there's no way that the day spent with very good friends,
laughing, a lot... and talking, a lot...
could ever be anything but lovely, relaxing and fun...
more than likely, for me, the combination of too much food,
[ I don't eat much these days...]
plus the barometric changes that are coming upon us...
and the headache I woke up with...
[much too early, I might add...]
add in that it's January...and, BLAH !
the chiropractor worked his magic... and,
I feel calm and peaceful... but...
today's the 20th anniversary of my dad's death, and
the 1 year anniversary of Mom's death is in 15 days...
so there is baggage...
a lovely time of year, January....
in the last few years, January has meant losses...
parents, cats... friends...aquaintences...
between January, into February...I just got used to cringing,
waiting for the next bad thing to happen to someone I cared for...
like I said, baggage....
I'm going to fight it , though...
I'll put on my new gloves and scarf...
and take a walk...before I take a nap....
a good friend recently told me, "fresh air & exercise,
are just what the enemy wants to keep us away from...
because he wants us depressed and miserable..."
she's generally right about these things...
she has "friends with connections"...
so I'll take my headache, mild stomach "uncertainty",
sniffly nose and "blahs" for a walk....
THEN, maybe a nap....
[it couldn't have been the marvelous German pancakes...
made with the same beer, either...or the plum sauce...]
I know it wasn't the delicious tabouli, [way too healthy...]
or the streak, gravy, etc., etc....
and there's no way that the day spent with very good friends,
laughing, a lot... and talking, a lot...
could ever be anything but lovely, relaxing and fun...
more than likely, for me, the combination of too much food,
[ I don't eat much these days...]
plus the barometric changes that are coming upon us...
and the headache I woke up with...
[much too early, I might add...]
add in that it's January...and, BLAH !
the chiropractor worked his magic... and,
I feel calm and peaceful... but...
today's the 20th anniversary of my dad's death, and
the 1 year anniversary of Mom's death is in 15 days...
so there is baggage...
a lovely time of year, January....
in the last few years, January has meant losses...
parents, cats... friends...aquaintences...
between January, into February...I just got used to cringing,
waiting for the next bad thing to happen to someone I cared for...
like I said, baggage....
I'm going to fight it , though...
I'll put on my new gloves and scarf...
and take a walk...before I take a nap....
a good friend recently told me, "fresh air & exercise,
are just what the enemy wants to keep us away from...
because he wants us depressed and miserable..."
she's generally right about these things...
she has "friends with connections"...
so I'll take my headache, mild stomach "uncertainty",
sniffly nose and "blahs" for a walk....
THEN, maybe a nap....
..step one, find someone who knows what they are doing
it's a new year and so a new look...
thanks to the clever fingers of Miz Minka...
I now have pictures, in spite of my cranky camera/software...
and a new header, tilting at the world...
with pictures of Piglet, Queen of the Universe...
Mackie, climber of ladders,
and his sister Murphy Brown, climber of screens...
the deeply red wall is unveiled, in progress,
along with the rest of the s-l-o-w-l-y moving
painting project...
so stay tuned...there's more...I may even figure it out
by Easter...
thanks to the clever fingers of Miz Minka...
I now have pictures, in spite of my cranky camera/software...
and a new header, tilting at the world...
with pictures of Piglet, Queen of the Universe...
Mackie, climber of ladders,
and his sister Murphy Brown, climber of screens...
the deeply red wall is unveiled, in progress,
along with the rest of the s-l-o-w-l-y moving
painting project...
so stay tuned...there's more...I may even figure it out
by Easter...
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
...ode to New Year's Eve, in Mudville
'twas the night before New Years'...and all through the house...
not a kitty was stirring...
nor nary a mouse...
sly Sneakie Pie snoozed on her perch up high...
while Thomas Cat dreamed of "Sneaky" cat pie...
Mz Lucy fur, purred as she snugged up to Robbie...
and Gracie cat smiled as she dreamed,"plates of turkey"....
bold Pig-a-let snored, and grunted in sleep,
while Fluff, ever watchful, her distance would keep...
the others, all dreamed, as they slept on soft cushions
on bookshelves, and chair backs ... my soft furry puss-kins
then what to my sleeping ears now did come banging ?
and popping and crashing and thumping and clanging ?
why, the new year, it came with a bang and a shout....
as all of my neighbors must have took their guns out...
and aimed at the stars, or the moon, to "shoot out"...
yo ! "yahoos", yo ! gun nuts, we're in city limits !
the stuff you shoot "up", comes back down, don't you get it ?
I was sound asleep.... and had been so for hours...
'til you-all, just had to show off all your powers...
no fireworks.... no gun fire.... let's us all be wise...
we don't need to celebrate, risking some lives....
so if you want your old year to end with a "bang"...
to shoot off your Oozi, or fire up your tank...
stay away from me, please...I don't want to fight...
Happy New Year to all, and to ALL, a calm night !
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