...NOT what I wanted to hear

those of you who are regular readers...
have been subjected to the twists & turns of my job search...
life path upheaval and financial difficulties
for quite some time now...

yesterday, Super Sop assured me that...
"not having heard yet from VOPU, was their usual style..."
"we've lost several good, prospective hires...
because the university took too much time in deciding on them...
and they, 'moved on' in the meantime..."

she, as well as several others, encouraged me to call...
so this morning, I did...

unfortunately, the results were not what I had hoped for...

I spoke with the person who interviewed me...
she said, "The committee has made it's decision...
you should receive a letter this week...
we appreciate your interest in our position..."
all said in a tone of voice that was detached...

NOT a positive signal at all...

and the response I get from God ?

"that He is my supply..."

"that I must move "fearlessly ahead...
believing that the Red Sea will part before me...
and that I will pass through safely..."

perhaps the chosen person will have moved on...
maybe the job will fall to me by default...

or, there's something else that I don't know about yet...

I trust God... He is the Lord of miracles...
and last minute reprieves...

I've seen Him accomplish miracles before...

blessings beyond what I could have dared to hope for...
or my heart's deepest desire...

sometimes, even when all hope appeared gone...

and this time ?

I know that He can... I hope that He will...

but if He doesn't... I have NO clue what to do next...

no idea where to look... all the doors appear closed...
if something miraculous doesn't happen...
I won't make it past Christmas...

so I wait... and trust... and hope...



and to all of you who have been so faithful in praying for me...
I'm really sorry about the way things have gone...
and seem to be going...
it's been a strange, gut-wrenching journey for me...
and it appears to be continuing on a downward trajectory...

everyone has enough turmoil in their own life...
you certainly didn't need to share in mine...

I appreciate more than I can express all the prayers...
and the words of encouragement and good wishes...
you've shared my frustrations & failures...
I'd hoped to share a positive outcome this time...

I haven't had this door shut in my face yet...
so I still hope...
God tells me that I must...
hope, trust and believe...
that He will provide for me...

so I cling to that hope, as a dying leaf holds to the branch...



because, God is good...ALL the time...

...STILL waiting, no news yet

this picture says it all...



I could use a stiff drink...



but BC's minions are everywhere...
[especially in my house...]



so I'll call on CC to protect me while I wait...



and with His help, I'll hang on...
hidden safely away from BC & the Gang...

...more "PBFFFFFFPT" at Basement Cat

I'm sure I'll pay for these moments of "waiting" levity...
but I don't care...

some of you may not be familiar with the "Ceiling/Basement Cat" dicotomy...
maybe these will help... and give you a chuckle at BC's expense...
it sure did for me... ;D



from the depths of our selfish selves...



rises the darker, self-centered side of our flawed nature...



inside all of us, good & bad coexist...
the question is: will you sing or steal ?
or ooze around, somewhere in the middle...?
not really good, not really bad...

rudder-less, just wandering... lost...



the road to Hell is also paved with sloth, greed & pride...
and tons of rationalizations...



we find ourselves tempted, after all, it's understandable...
we deserve the better things in life...
it's not really hurting anyone...
and it's fun...

unfortunately, our earthly perspectives can be flawed...



we don't have to "win"... just accept the victory that's been won already...
not always easy for us here, being dazzeled by BC's toys & tricks...



but the battle's been fought & won...
and if we claim the victory He's already won for us...
life may not be all catnip, tuna & sleeping on clean laundry...
but we'll have a helper in our weakness...
and if we accept it, a far better life...

now & forever...

Amen...

[and to you BC, PBFFFFFFFFST !!!]

...a crappy day

ever had one of those days ?

I've had several in a row, escalating to today...



& today has been one of those,"aw crap", days...



where no matter what you do, you find yourself "stepping in it"...

yesterday, it was other drivers trying to "take me home to Jesus"...
and the sooner the better... several tried, none succeeded...



I blame the enemy, aka Basement Cat, for this onslaught...
as I try to maintain a thankful attitude while I wait for word...
I have become more strung-out from the months of job-seeking...
I know that I am less patient and much more easily blindsided...
because I'm ready for it to be over, but still, I need to wait...



and BC is subtle... reminding me of all my shortcomings...
my failure to be a good friend, lack of exercise...
postponed projects, good intentions limited by physical pain...
and we're not going to mention my front yard...
now an "official wilderness area, with "high savanna grass areas"...

and since the whining has now officially begun...



besides the arthritis pain, that kept me from sleeping last night...
now that it's colder...there are the sinus headaches...
then there's the ATT repair guy who called this morning just after 8 AM...
[I had just finally gotten to sleep...
and they were supposed to come check-out my phone tomorrow...]

so I got up & was barely dressed when he showed-up...
nice guy...said it was probably their wires...
since the high winds started it...
[incoming calls ring only once, a short belch...
& then if I don't pick-up, right away, I lose the call...]

so after informing me that:
a] the new utility pole is connected to the old one in such a way...
that ATT can't access their transformers on the poles...
b] the new heating/AC unit in my basement completely blocks access...
to the incoming phone lines, so they can't even test them...
c] they would have to completely redo all the outside wiring...
to even check my phone...

then...after they figured-out how to check it...
they informed me that the problem was inside my house...
[in other words, I now owed them $55 for the service call...
and they problem wasn't fixed yet...
they would be happy to repair it for me, at a gazillion $ per/hr...
or I could hire someone else... I chose the latter...
my outside driveway light doesn't work...
& if I can find the $ to get my electrician [semi-retired]to do it...
he can probably fix the phones too...
I also had my suspicions about the failure of the DSL confirmed...
the microwave is improperly grounded, causing the static...
I don't know if anyone can get to the problem area...
without de-constructing my kitchen...

so for the time-being, I seem to be swimming in a morass...
and BC is enjoying itself...
but I'm working on sending it packing...
which will be much more effective than this is on kitties...



click on the picture to enlarge...

cat staff persons out there everywhere...
can you only imagine the sheer joy of a remote with these capabilities ?
it boggles the mind...makes my heart beat faster...
and a sure sign of the impending apocalypse...

and as for you,BC [& all your minions...]



PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFBPT !!!

[AHHHH...I feel much better now...]

...no news yet

my current financial situation has often left me feeling...



a lot like this cat...

["Yay, though I walk through the valley...]



as I wait for a phone call...
[of course, my home phone hasn't been working properly...
since the last big wind storm, so my message machine isn't working...
but I did give them my cell number...]



and they do have my address...



not to mention my e-mail address...
[I can get e-mail on my cell phone...]



so, I wait... and hope...

God is good, ALL the time...

...blessings along the way

I'm still waiting to hear from the VOPU Library...
[there was an interview today, so I may hear tomorrow or Monday...]
but as I continue on the path I've been on for a couple of years now...
[in reality, probably my entire life...]
some "interesting" things are starting to happen...

back in March, I attended a seminar for a "get out of debt" plan...
that seemed OK, but in reality was a scam, at least as far as it applied to me...
but I was desperate to find answers to my money problems...
and I was still dealing with the dislocation surgery aftermath...
so looking for a job was difficult...

when I realized that the program was NOT going to work for me...
I attempted to cancel my participation, as they had promised I could...
but the next month...
when another $250 was taken out of my checking account...
I turned to my bank for help and they issued me a new debit card...
returning the $250 to my account...

after WFB investigated further...
they informed me that they had "found in my favor"...
and that no further payments would be allowed to that company...
so I dodged that bullet, but was still in debt and unemployed...

then Fr Toolbelt told me about the plans he had...
to offer a Dave Ramsey seminar at the church...
beginning in August... it cost $100...
not at all sure that I wanted to open all the financial wounds again...
I agreed to attend...



there were 13 sessions with the final one yesterday...
[I missed 2 due to illness & my back adventure...]



we received a "kit" with the book, a workbook and the lessons on CD...
each Wednesday evening, we watched a "Dave" lesson on DVD...
[he's quite funny and the scriptural truths ring clear throughout...]
the lessons were well paced, entertaining & informative...



his program consists of these 7 "baby steps"...

at first it seemed so logical...
then the reality of my lack of funds hit me...
and I began to deal with much deeper issues regarding my attitudes & actions...
some of the lessons were very hard to listen to...
since I no longer have any retirement accounts or savings...
as well as massive credit card debt, my house is "upside down"...
and being unemployed meant that I was in a negative cash-flow situation...

Dave advocates,"sell everything, but the kids..."
but first, someone has to want your "stuff"...
and because of the economy, my "good stuff" had no market...
so I trusted and listened, fighting back the tears & fear...

but as things have progressed in the last couple of weeks...
I have felt a real change of heart in me towards the possibilities...
that I could, using these ideas, handle money properly...
& actually become a good steward...

an excitement, a real sense of hope...

I found myself wanting to be able to work to retire my debts...
Dave calls it,"gazelle intensity"...
[just imagine how focused you'd be if a cheetah was after you...]
and even as my last bits of cash were going out...
with no surety of anything coming in in sight...

I feel hopeful...

hopeful that I can not only retire my debts, honorably...
but also "earn my keep", without misusing credit...

AND rebuild enough assets to be able to give as I wish...
finally becoming a good steward, though it is quite late for me...

that a job doesn't mean a resumption of my former ways...
[no TV or major shopping in my immediate future...]
or even a "relaxing" of tensions over how to pay the bills...
but a chance to let God bless me with His abundance...
to trust Him to make "ends meet" if I'm spending His money properly...

to accept all the blessings that He wants me to have...
and pass them on to others in as He leads me...
because there is NO LIMIT to God's ability to bless us...
just limits on our ability to accept these blessings and pass them on...

after I began to understand these truths a week or so ago...
some "interesting developments" have occurred...



my bi-annual car insurance premium was due on Dec 2...
it was $575 last June and I needed to pay it in a lump sum...
'cause I didn't need another monthly payment to worry about...
but when I went to the website to pay it...

it was only $445 !! a savings of $130 !!
[I hadn't changed my policy at all, so I'm clueless as to the drop...]

but still, $445, is a lot at this point...
[property taxes are due 12/10...
I don't know when the health insurance refund will arrive...
and then there's the January $650 dental insurance annual premium...]

so even though the premium drop is good news...
it wasn't the only good news...



I had just adjusted my mortgage payment to the bank...
from weekly to monthly...
it had been weekly for a couple of years...

the change was supposed to take 10 days to go into affect...
so when I checked my statement...
I was surprised to see that my "next payment"...
was not due, Nov.1, but Dec.1...

so I then waited for a Wednesday to pass...
and looked...NO PAYMENT OF $300 WENT OUT...

that means $1200.00 I don't have to pay this month...
[because I've made extra payments in the past...]

so I CAN pay my car insurance...
AND the property taxes too...

now, if the Library job is God's plan for me...
I should be able to make it to the first paycheck...

I can't wait to see what happens next...



God is good, ALL the time...

...VERY hopeful signs

I just returned from my job interview at the VOPU Library...
to say that it went, "well", would be a major understatement...

I had spent a couple of hours online...
reviewing "library protocol" & methods...
I had also written a "personal statement"...
after reviewing the job description...
I wanted to stress my complete qualifications...
and desire for this position...

then I hurried home, changed & drove the 1/2 mile to the campus...
praying for a parking spot within reasonable walking distance...
and there was one, right by the Library...
[very rare...afternoon parking is a nightmare]

I went right to the correct place, having checked-out an online map...



and was on time, so I was ushered right in...

the interviewer & I seemed to "hit it off" from the start...

I seemed to have "all the right answers"for her questions...
[believe me when I say you always know when you don't...]

my library management skills were, "win/win"...
my availability was perfect...
my client/staff relation answers were also, "win/win"...
my ability to be,"the boss", while NOT being nasty, also good...
my managerial style,as well as my client service attitudes...
were also in sync with hers...

and the BIG thing for the interviewer... ?

[she studied my face as she showed me...]
the regular Sunday & Monday, 1:30 AM close times...
then as she revealed the finals, 2:30 AM close time...
and then the dreaded, 2-7 AM, 4 weekdays in a row,
2 weeks in a row, during finals...

I didn't even blink, I just grinned and said...
"I went to sleep at 4 AM this morning, I'm a night owl"...

in short, this seems to be the perfect job for me...



there are three other applicants who are interviewing this week...
so I will hear from her the end of this week or the beginning of the next...

this is the 2nd round of interviews...
they had no one qualified in the first...



so, though I'm still, waiting...
I really have my hopes up...

the final question that she asked me was, what 3 things I wanted from a job...

I said:

"to be able to do something that helps people, that makes a difference..."
"to have a job that I can do well, where I'm good for my employer...
and the job is good for me..."
"to be in the place that God wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do..."

I also think that it's a very good sign that as you prepare to leave...
the interviewer decides to introduce you to all the Library staff she can find...



so I wait... and I really hope for this job...

God is good... ALL the time...