"...a thing with feathers..."

hope...

a thing...
with feathers...
that perches ...
in the soul...

and sings
a tune...

without the words...

and never stops...
at all...


and sweetest in the gale ...is heard...
and sore must be the storm
that could abash ...the little bird...
that kept so many warm...

I've heard it in the chillest land...
and on the strangest sea...
yet never in Extremity...
it asked a crumb...of me...

["Hope" Emily Dickinson]

it "springs eternal"...
we hope "all things"...
it is the wind beneath our wings...
a whispered prayer...

it is where we are to live...
when we trust God with our lives...
and all that we need...
but, do we ?
hope...that is...



for so many of us...hope is easily "startled" away...
circumstances cause us fear or anxiety...
and our hope takes wing to flee...
leaving us with only our emptiness...
and inability to bring back that we need the most...

and, "pack animals" that we humans are...
no matter how much we enjoy our solitude...
we follow each other... feed off the group...
but then... that's just "being human"...

but Jesus became human...
conquering fear and death for us...
so that we could control the fears...
that startle our hope to take panicked flight...




and when we allow our hope to be gone so quickly...
we disrespect the awesome gift of Jesus...
who asks only that we trust Him...
and "hope all things..."
"waiting with joyful hope for the miracles to come..."



abiding ...is hard...
it is hopeful trust in God...
and in all the good He has in store for us...
joyful, thankfulness for all the circumstances of our lives...



it is waiting...

hopefully... thankfully... joyfully...

trust in action...



when your tears wash away ...
nearly all vestiges of of your heart's desires...
when only the essence remains
of that which was so hopeful...

and becomes a knife in your heart...
a hole to hide deep in...
you always have that last, thing with feathers...
to cling to...abide in...
and be safe...



safe...
to be wholly "hopeful"...
to allow the feathered thing ...
to take flight on wings of joy...
free to soar...
to attain heights ...
only dreamed of...



and when our days here...
have run their course...
we hope...
to find our rest...
forever...
in that Hope...

...declutter update

this supposed to be a linen cupboard...
but I keep those things in a chest...
so this has become the "supply cupboard"...

tissues... cold medicine... pain relievers...
shampoo... mouth wash... supplements...
air fresheners... cough drops...
medical supplies... etc...

I threw away a large bag of outdated stuff...
as well as set aside a large bag to donate...
I organized what I kept ...
in a manner that I will be able to maintain...

I also cleaned out the 3 built-in drawers
in the bathroom...
and threw away a ton of old cat medicines...

all this took about 4 hours...



notice the brown chair in front of the stereo... ?



this is the room without it...
I muscled it out... gouging the door frame only slightly...
and put it in the driveway....
[it will go in the "Clean Sweep" coming in a week or two...]

I moved the Craftsman recliner over...
as well as the two ficus trees...
if I didn't have puppy training pads all over the floor...
it would look better... at least it's not as crowded...



I moved the spear leafed ficus [braided trunk...] outside...
and re potted it....it will flourish now that it's on the porch...
I also re potted several other plants...
and then cleaned the remaining clutter off the porch...



the intense sun "washed out" the colors, in this picture of the annuals I planted...
the colorful ones are portulacas, in red, yellow, white, orange & rose...
there are also bowls with "crimson" dianthus, "crystal palace" lobelia...
and white allyssm... as well as pale pink/ lavender petunias...

...doot, doot, dooo... lookin' at my front porch

this was my front porch...until last Saturday...
when I "hurt" myself finally cleaning it off...
it's hard to see all the clutter...
[notice the huge pile on the left...
there's a chair under there...
somewhere...]
because when I took this picture...
I hadn't planned on it being a "before" picture...


this is the same "shot" taken yesterday...
notice... there really WAS a chair under that mess...
you can also see the newly re-potted Schefflera peeking out...
it has really grown, "out there"...

several large plants will be cycled "inside"...
as a couple of plants that are "inside"...
will be cycled out....
some to be re-potted... some for "r & r"...
botton line... there will be EVEN less...
eventually...


this is a "high" view to the south from the porch...
you can see my Meyer Lemon tree...
my "Mission" style wind chimes..
the top of my red leaf Japanese Maple...
and Uncle Phil's front yard...


here... you have a "lower" view in the same direction...
a more complete picture of the "Crimson Queen Lace" Maple...
and the green leaf, crimson bark Japanese Maple next to it...
[they live here...year round...and thrive...]

notice all the open [empty !] space ...
ready to receive the seasonal plantings of...
mixed portulacas, red dianthus, Crystal palace lobelia...
and white allyssum...[with it's sweet fragrance...]

since I put these annual containers on the steps too...
I won't come close to filling the space...
and that's a good thing...


this is taken from the other [north] side...
I found the "cat" wind toy [hanging on the right...]
in an art gallery in Sutter Creek...
it makes me smile every time I see it...
[notice the "open space" beyond the chair !
there will be more..."open space", that is...
as things are moved to their final destination...]


one of the nice surprises...

my Fiddle-leaf Fig [a Ficus]...
came back from the dead...!
it got frostbitten in December ...
and was just a pot of sticks...

if I had moved faster in my "clean-up"...
I would have thrown it out...
and missed this wonderful regeneration...

there must be a lesson in this somewhere...
perhaps... "for everything, there is a season...
and a time for every purpose, under Heaven..."

God is Good...

..."we hold these truths..." even in Mudville

"we hold these truths to be self-evident...
that all men are created equal...
that they are endowed by their creator...
with certain inalienable rights...
and among these are life, liberty...
and the pursuit of happiness..."


we, in this country, celebrate that document...
signed this day in 1776...
declaring our independence from England...

speaking of the inalienable right to liberty...
signed by many a God-fearing slave holder...

they didn't see the dichotomy or the irony...
and England was NOT amused ...
by the affront to the proprietary interests of the Empire...
by a bunch of idealistic colonists...

just who did these "Americans" think they were ?


signing your name here ...
branded you a traitor to England...
guaranteeing your death if the independence failed...

years later... after much bloodshed and lives lost...
freedom from England was gained...
and the "great experiment" in democracy ...
was officially, "on"...

so, on this day...
we, a nation of immigrants...
celebrate our liberty...
with parades, cookouts, speeches...
a little flag waving...
patriotic music...
and fireworks...




here in Mudville... it's not much different...
we have parades...with flags...



generally, in the hottest part of the day...
the Mudville Orchestra assembles under the "Sail"...



to play a selection of patriotic & American music...
as a prelude to the fireworks...

in the "old days"...the "Park Band" would play...
while the setting sun blinded us and the winds howled
around the lake at Legion Park...
with large crowds jammed into the small neighborhood...
awaiting the pyrotechnic display to come after dark...



then, for me...the mad dash to get home ...
before the fireworks terrorized the kitties...
since we lived very close to the park...

in more recent times..
the Mudville Waterfest concert...
was designed to last all day...
and into the gathering darkness...



entertaining the vast crowds gathered at Weber Point...

I remember when this picture was taken...
it was 106...with a HOT wind blowing...
and by the time the sun went down...
under the stage lights... it was at least 110...
even after dark... even with the gale-force winds....


our last selection was always "Overture 1812"...
with fireworks instead of cannons...
the concussion of the blast hitting us as we played...
made breathing almost impossible...

after the last applause died away...
as the audience buzzed with anticipation...
and all eyes were turned to the west..
I would be wending my way through the vast crowd...

a task made more difficult after the fireworks began...
since no one was paying any attention ...
to my need to get through the crowd...
and get to my car... in the distant lot...
fight the traffic congested with "looky-loos"...
and get home to my terrified kitties...



I'm now happily retired from playing July 4th Concerts....
and will be at home...
calming frightened kitties...
when the fireworks go off this year...

Happy Birthday America !

...ummm...Greek salad

cravings can be the death of any and all good intentions...
especially when it comes to food...

in the last 7 months or so...
I've had no appetite...[most of the time...]
gone days without eating much at all...
taken to drinking Ensure...
in order to maintain my body chemistry...
essential amino acids & "all that..."

when I did eat...
I wasn't trying to be "healthy"...
I just ate what I wanted to eat...
much smaller portions...generally healthy...

I've been walking...
although lately, my "nerve problems"...
have created some obstacles...
but since I've been more physically active...
I continue to get stronger & more "fit"...
despite the burning nerve spasms ...
that afflict my back & legs frequently...

I'm down to 2 pairs of shorts...and one pair of jeans...
that are still too small to wear...
pants in the size that was WAY too tight...
just last November...
are now, as a friend observed on Sunday, "baggy"...
and happily so...

sooner or later...I'll have to buy some new clothes...
but I'm NOT in any hurry...
when I do "bite the bullet"...
it will only be a few transitional things...
just enough to tide me over...

fortunately...sweatshirts, sweaters and some pants...
are still "OK" when "baggy"...
[ironic, that the "baggy" Hip-Hop look...
never did a thing for me...]

I do have to be careful, though...

Saturday, as I was doing porch clean-up...
I put my garden hand clippers...
in the pocket of my now, really, too big shorts...
[that I couldn't get into last summer...or the summer before...]
and the weight of the clippers almost pulled my shorts off...
I caught them just in time...

just a couple of weeks ago...
I seemed to be regaining the nervous compulsive "munchies"..
but that passed...
and now my "cravings" have taken a Mediterranean turn...

there are a lot of sound psychological connections ...
between "de-cluttering" your life...
[getting rid of all the "stuff" we don't need...
that holds us to our past failures...
that we hide behind...afraid to trust...]

and "de-cluttering" your body...
[losing weight... becoming healthy...
"forgiving & forgetting" your past failures...
and those connected with them...
"loosing" their poisonous grip on your body & soul...
and moving out of the shadow of "unhealthy"...
into the light of trust and vibrant good health...]

I'm reading a great, support book by Peter Walsh...
[my original mentor for decluttering from years ago...
when I watched him on "Clean Sweep"...]
titled,"Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat ?"...

there's nothing "new" to me here...
especially the connection between clutter & fat...
but it's nice to have it all laid out...
as a support system...
["It's All Too Much" is a good general "de-clutter" read too...]

beyond my spiritual journey of the last 7 months...
is the continuation of the "moving out of the shadow"...
that I began 10 years ago...
when I faced the very real possibility ...
of being a cancer victim...

coming to grips with my own mortality ...
put everything into perspective...
all the "stuff"...was just in the way...
my life could be over...and soon...
and I had little to show ...
for all I had been blessed with...
besides big piles of "stuff"....

this realization changed my focus...
and bit by bit... over the last 10 years...
God has been leading me in His direction...
when I've paid attention that is...

sometimes...I think that I'm spiritually, "ADHD"...
I see the path...I start to travel it...
and... BOOM !...
something "bright & shiny" catches my eye...
and I wander off the path...
totally distracted...until He "gets my attention" again...
and we all know HOW He does that...

as I face a "mountain" of stuff...
and the sorting, carrying-out and disposing...
that my "de-cluttering" process requires...
I will need to remember ...the "little things"...

how each journey begins with a single step...
and continues... with each successive, single step...
that I carried it in...
so I can carry it out...

that seeing open space feels much better...
than seeing "well stocked" shelves does...
[even for a packrat...]
how the need to feel free of the stuff that suffocates us...
is more important than the desire to possess...
[especially for a packrat...]

feeling strong and healthy feels good...
loose clothes... feel really good...
[I have annual physicals later this month...
boy... will my doctors be surprised...! ]

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me...

and then... there are those "little rewards"...

like...
when a very supportive friend smiles and says,
"I like seeing you in those baggy pants"...

or when shorts I haven't worn in 12 years...[or more...]
almost button...
[now, I'm glad I kept them...
being a packrat can have it's occasional rewards...]

I have a pair of bell bottom, button fly, Navy surplus jeans...
from 1968...somewhere in the garage...
hummm... maybe someday...

when everything that fit 2 months ago... is really loose...

when I can concoct a reward dinner for myself...
that is this healthy...



Catsinger's Grecian Delight...

chopped Romaine lettuce
chopped sweet red onion
chopped seedless cucumber
sliced grape [or other sweet...] tomatoes
pitted Kalamata olives
Feta cheese [low fat or reg...I use whatever I bought...]
chopped grilled chicken
[I marinate whole chicken breasts
in olive oil, garlic & rosemary...
then grill or bake at 400 in the oven...
I remove the skin and bones before chopping...
this also works with fish...cod...halibut...Mahi Mahi...]

dress with Catsinger's Greek salad dressing
serve with pita or "tortilla bread"
[almost the same... & a lot cheaper...]

possible additions...
marinated artichoke hearts
pepperonchini or other hot stuff
[if you are into that, I'm not...]
bell peppers...
raw veggies of all kinds...
roasted peppers or eggplant...
beans..[kidney, garbanzo, green...]
whatever...

Catsinger's Greek Salad Dressing
[also good as a marinade...]
I make my dressing using a GS "cruit"...
garlic red wine vinegar to "V" line...
a healthy dose of dried oregano...
some garlic powder...
s & p
and fill with ex virgin olive oil to "O" line...
shake... serve...

it gets better as it sits..and I keep "refilling"....
as I use it up...

...jail break !

a door...slightly ajar...
doesn't mean much to most of us...
but to my "feline friends"...
it wasn't opportunity merely "knocking"...
it was opportunity throwing off all restraint...
and hollering, "COME ON DOWN !"

[I'm quite sure ...
that if you look up "opportunist" in the dictionary...
you'll see a picture of most of my kitties....]

I'd been having problems with my bedroom door...
lately...it was not opening properly...
it would stick at the top...
and sometimes the handset would not latch...

a couple of days ago, I came into the bedroom...
after noticing that the door was ajar...
Mattie was almost out the open window...
being my "good boy"...he stopped and came to me...

since he gets very confused outside ...
and gets "lost"... across the very busy street...
crying in real distress...
unable to cross the street and come to me...
I wanted him in...

so I'd been trying to make sure that the door was shut tight...
but, this morning, as I zeroed-in on the hall closet clean-out...
as well as my usual Tuesday "cookfest"...
and writing a post for tomorrow...
before running errands...
I must have not been careful enough...

I went through the hall area..
and saw the problem door...
ajar again...

entering the bedroom...
I encountered Mattie, asleep on my bed...
Robbie had taken over Fluff's nest...
but the open window and total silence...
told me the story...
there had been a "jail break"...

I called... silence...
after closing the window...I put Robbie & Mattie
out of the bedroom so that I could "take roll"...
first making sure that the #$@%* door was now shut tight...

I looked for Charlie [he's the red one...]

he's VERY shy and freaks when he gets outside...
he becomes extremely fearful...
disoriented & won't come to me...
the last time...
it took me 2 weeks to catch him...

I didn't see him... but he loves to hide...
so I "called" and said a little prayer...
I eventually spotted him... whew !

then I looked for Creamer...she also goes outside bravely...
then freaks...wanting back in...NOW !

but Creamer was "dead to the world"...
far from the predations of Sneaky Pie & Gracie...
her sworn enemies...

Thomas, on the other hand was MIA...

he thinks he's "alpha"... and "Mr Outside"...
he doesn't get scared...which is both good...
and not so good... because he's NOT cautious...

Sneaky Pie was underfoot...as usual...


but Gracie...was mysteriously "absent"...

NOT good... she's ALWAYS been an inside cat...
and doesn't have a clue..."out there"...

I went out into the back yard...
and there was Gracie !
she started to run from me...
but when she saw it was me...
she ran to the "ramp"...went up...
and waited by the now closed window...
telling me how much she wanted to go back inside...
and to "make it snappy ! "

I picked up her plump self and took her inside...
where she promptly began to brag to Sneaky Pie...
exaggerating, I'm sure....
her adventurousness and courage...
in the "great" out of doors...

she must have laid it on thick...
because SPie got pissed...
bopped her on the nose...
and then went to chase Lacy...
just for spite...

by now...
I had figured out that only Thomas was still AWOL...
so I re-opened the bedroom window...
called him... NUMEROUS times...
shut the door, TIGHTLY...
and went on with my chores...

after about an hour or so...
I opened the door...there Thomas was...
sleeping on my bed...
he hopped down and came back out of the bedroom...
as if he always spent the morning outside....

I checked the window...
the breeze had blown the screen cat door shut...
trapping Thomas and ending his day of..." FREEDOM ! "
[you have to imagine Mel Gibson yelling that...]

as soon as Thomas [the interloper...] was out of my bedroom...
Fluff came out from under the bed...
where she'd been "in seclusion"...[aka hiding...]

and she was NOT amused...
turning her back on me for my shortsightedness...
in allowing the "invasion" of her domain...

after a while... Piglet "arrived"....
she had been "secluded" [aka hiding...]
somewhere in the yard...

and she let me know that she was MOST DISPLEASED...
with my complicity in allowing intruders
to disturb the sanctity...
of "her" sole and rightful kingdom...

how could I be so lax ?
I'd better shape up...
if I knew what's good for me...
or she would "take steps" to shape me up... !

later, after the "dust" had settled...
and everyone was back in their normal routine...
as I checked the door for the umpteeth time...
I noticed Mattie...snoozing in his favorite spot...

favorite spot other than my bed, that is...

and to think...
some people miss all this kind of frivolity...
because they don't live with cats...

so sad....

...the long good-bye

this is Robbie...about 2 months ago...
he'd just returned from a vet visit & a bath...
his blood work was all good...
he had his teeth cleaned...
and got a steroid shot for the arthritis & itching...

he was getting skinnier...
seemed to be losing his hearing...
couldn't seem to find the cat box...
but had a good appetite...

his continuing non-use of the litter box...
over the last 2 months have caused me to cover
my formerly new rugs with puppy training pads...
and purchase a "Spot Bot" rug cleaner...
[which works well on pet "spots...]


the "array" of training pads...in several places...
[as observed here by Sneaky Pie...]
helps only when he "hits" the mark...or pad...
often he misses...or moves a pad in "covering"...
then goes where the pad was...

it is a nasty thing to have to clean-up several times a day...
especially when "new" locations are chosen...
[ie...on the small rug in front of the door]
that I don't see ... until it's too late...
and then track "it" around before I notice what I've stepped in...



but... every day, he's thinner... like Bubba...
poor Bubba was young... only 9...
and they couldn't find anything wrong...
but he wasted away anyway...
and died last August...



Robbie's 19... he's had a good, long life...
and he'll be gone soon...
I don't think he'll make it through July...
so I'll keep a close watch on him...

he's so thin now that I can feel all his bones...
even on his head...
I'm NOT looking forward to taking him to the vet
that last time... but I won't let him suffer...

until it's time...and he'll let me know when...
they always do...
I'll pet him... and talk to him...
and make him soft beds near me...
and prepare him a resting place in the garden ...
for later...