notes from La Mancha

...kitty roll call

2012-01-03T14:07:00.000-08:00

It's been a nice holiday season for me & the kitties. They've feasted on kitty treats from their benefactor, scarfed their favorite canned & dry food, had roast beef scraps, chicken from my New Years' Chinese food treat[chow mein with chicken, shrimp & Chinese sausage, fried shrimp & almond chicken... got 3 good meals from the one order...] and soon, more turkey bits, after I cook the turkey I have in the 'fridge. The dog has also shared in the bounty, including beef rib bones, but this isn't about the dog...

Since opening my bedroom to all kitties after losing Fluff & Piglet last January, several things have happened. I found that I need to keep the dog in her crate when she's inside, because she will be aggressive towards any cat moving past her lair, especially when she's chewing on a bone. This has resulted in cats moving less fearfully through the house, though she still barks at them when they scamper past her den, often in the middle of the night, waking me up.

Another habit they have established is taking over my bed. I try to keep the thermostat around 67/66˚ day or night, otherwise they surround me, pinning me down, opportunistic heat seekers that they are, and I wake up stiff from being immobile.

Their crunchies and water dish are on my old dresser, so I can monitor their individual health situations more closely. This is also a good way to have frequent interaction with those who need medication as well as the three who don't spend the day or night on my bed.

MJ,[Midnight, Junior], is the last of a family of 5, all with short black hair, who were raised in my back yard by their Mom, who was a neighborhood cat with long black hair that came regularly for food and I had spayed after the kittens were weaned. The Dad, [Midnight], was a short-haired black, neighborhood cat who also came for food, that I found sleeping peacefully on the foot of my bed one summer night. He was never aggressive with any of my kitties or the kittens after they were born, quite an unusual demeanor for an intact tomcat. I had him neutered after I realized that he was the daddy of the kittens. I remember one really nice late spring morning, when I saw he and the momcat, sitting together in my driveway, watching the 5 black kittens play and frolic. Shortly after that morning, I captured the kittens and took them inside so they wouldn't get hurt outside, and took both "parents" to the vet to be neutered.

Here you see him with the treat ball he loved, until the dog took it. These days, I really enjoy watching him search for the treats I hide on my bedspread and dresser. Whenever I sit on my bed, he is instantly there, snuggling-in on my left side, wanting to be petted, to have his tummy scratched and purring, with the tip of his pink tongue showing, his eyes closed in pure bliss. He is the sweetest of the 5 kittens and was named for his sweet daddy, who also loved a good snuggle.

Lacy spends much of her day & night snoozing in a front window. She does come in to eat and drink often, which is good since she has tongue lesions and needs monitoring.

She recently had a steroid shot and is almost done with her antibiotic drops, so she seems to be lesion-free at the moment. It is a reoccurring problem though, so I watch her closely, which is not hard, since she joins me, hoping to drink from the faucet, every time I go into the bathroom for any reason. She also loves to be petted, but will complain loudly if I try to check for fleas.

Her sister Cagney, is the loner of the group. She has, "issues", with MJ, who loves to chase her,[his only bad habit...], Lucyfur and Sneaky Pie, and spends most of her time on the mantel, the TV cabinet or in a sunny window when it's warm. Sneaky Pie will ambush her after a food or water visit and chase her until she returns to her "spot". Lucy will confront her at the food or water dish, exerting her dominance.

Cagney is also a frequent bathroom visitor, as she has had a "thing" for drinking from the faucet since she was a kitten. I intervene when I can, letting Cagney know that she is safe near me, but the control mavens persist. So far there have been no bloody physical altercations, just a lot of nasty name-calling and boxing.

Mz Sneaky Pie, is also ,"bossed", by Lucyfur, so her aggression towards Cagney is probably some of the frustrations she can't show to Lucyfur.

"SPie", as she is also known, can be very sweet... but if she gets too "stimulated" by petting or grooming, she will bite or swipe at me with claws extended. She was raised for the first 6 months, by someone who played too roughly with her. So I have to be on my guard not to arouse her catly ire... She is a very loving and companionable kitty when she's in the mood, which is most of the time and being the youngest by about 5 years, she often will go on a mad dash about the upper reaches of the house, especially when the moon is full.

Murphy Brown, [Murph] and her brother Mack, [Mackie], are like most siblings, they can be together quite peacefully, and then, suddenly, for no apparent reason, will stand up and one will smack the other, with a full-fledged boxing match breaking-out, complete with loud catly insults.

Then, as quickly as it began, it's over and they are snuggled next to me, washing each others' faces.

Mackie has gray/black accents and is the ultimate cuddle cat. I can shoo him off of my bed, climb in and there he is, snuggled next to my left arm wanting to be petted.
If I don't move him back to his spot, he will climb on top of me. From the first time I looked into his green eyes, with the direct, pet-me, gaze, I was toast.

Murph is more golden brown, though they both have big white paws with very sharp claws. She was always much more aloof, but since the bedroom door was opened, she has become a super cuddler too. Mackie will meow for attention, but Murph is like Fluff was. She has paws with claws that she knows how to use to her best advantage, all the while purring so loudly in my ear that I've been known to have to turn up the volume if I was watching something. She also mews from time to time and after being petted a satisfactory amount of time, [somewhere between 3 minutes and infinity...], she will settle down, generally just above Mackie, claiming my left shoulder. If Lucyfur is on the bed to the right of my pillow, she may settle there, giving my right shoulder the same treatment and purring, loudly. She was sick in early December, but is fine now.

Lucyfur considers herself "Queen"... no further modifiers needed, she is simply that, queen...

She assumes her position to the right of my pillow nearly all the time, but she has her moments of camping-out on my feet, a practice I always discourage. She is the Alpha, therefore, she eats first, etc., and bosses everyone. Mackie doesn't always appreciate her bossiness and will swat her if she gets too pushy. Murph stays out of her way, as does Lacy, but Murph will curl up with her and Lacy will not. Sneaky Pie generally gives her her "due", and stays clear. Cagney is completely cowed and is always submissive when confronted. MJ is one of Lucyfurs',"boys",[Charlie is the other...]. Both MJ and Charlie curl up with Lucyfur and she will groom them both. They both are small, having been rather shy all their lives.

Charlie was adopted along with Lucyfur and her brother Bubba, from my vet after the death of Dexter. From the beginning, Lucyfur "mothered" Bubba and Charlie. MJ was just a young kitten when he came into her sphere and as a result, became "hers" too.

Charlie is quite shy, so the bedroom opening has been good for him. He and Sneaky Pie were the 2 that stayed with me when all the others went to stay at the vets during the bathroom rebuild in Jan, 2009, because they would not be caught. I captured them both, several times, but could get neither to stay in the cat carrier long enough to secure it. Scratched and bleeding, I gave up. They lived in the bedroom with the door closed, but got to go into the rest of the house at night when the workmen were gone and it was safe.

Since last January, Charlie has been becoming more secure in coming into the bedroom. He makes daily appearances near mealtime and I often awake from a nap to find him standing on top of me, purring and angling to be petted. As long as I'm laying down, or sitting, he'll approach. The moment I stand or move around, he's a ghost... But if I let him lay on me, he'll purr happily while I pet him or scratch his ears for quite a while. As a result, I have discovered that he has something in common with every red cat I've ever been owned by, and that is that if I scritch his tummy, he'll grasp my hand with all his might and kick scratch me until I can extricate myself. I know... not all red cats do this, but all I've known well have...

...I"m not surprised, just amazed...

2011-11-22T16:02:00.000-08:00

In living the balancing act that my life has become, I'm no longer surprised when God provides, but I am always amazed at His timing and the agents He uses.

It's been quite a while since I posted, mainly due to a problem with sitting at the church long enough to compose anything worth reading. Needless to say, since Sept.15, my last post, a number of challenges have presented themselves.

I knew in the summer that having the money to pay my property taxes in early December would be a challenge, since I seemed to never have any money left for savings each month. I also knew that my DMV car registration renewal was also due in early December and that it would be around $160. I got a notice from the county that the value of my house was half what it had been and was hopeful that that might mean a reduction in the taxes due from the $700+, twice a year that it has been. My car registration renewal bill was only $129, which was cause for celebration until I saw that it had to be "smog tested", which cost $50 the last time I had to have it done. Fortunately, I found a coupon online which lowered the smog test to $30, but that didn't solve the other problems.

Coming on the heels of my cousin rescuing me by paying for a new transmission for my car, you might think that I had no worries that God would provide my financial needs. But... whenever God provides, the enemy always shows up to sow fear and doubt for the future... and it really set in when I had a month-long bout of flu-like symptoms, right after getting a flu shot, which my insurance covered...[a nice surprise...] My arthritis has also flared-up and for about a month, I was in a lot of pain.

My cell phone died. I had no choice, if I wanted to keep the only number all my contacts have for me, but to get a new one from Sprint. They set me up with the least expensive "Android"[Samsung Replenish] phone & data plan, assuring me that the $222 bill that would include the phone cost, fees etc. could be "spread out over a couple of months. When I tried to do this after the bill was due, they wouldn't allow any spreading of payments over more than 2 weeks, which helped me, not at all.

I had fashioned a budget from late October, through November & December. I had added up all my income and debts, putting them on a dated ledger page. Before Sprint became nasty, it had barely worked. I didn't have money for groceries, gas or pet supplies, but the property taxes, car reg. renewal and all my utilities were covered.

After I had to pay Sprint $222 all at once, I was screwed.

I knew that God had a plan to provide me with the money I needed, but I often become afraid that I've done something to mess up His plans.For example, on my birthday in late October, the choir gave me a nice card with an unexpected and generous gift of cash. I had used that cash to stock up on non-perishable groceries and dry cat food. Then the Sprint squeeze hit and what I would be "short" was really close to what I had spent. I kept delaying paying the DMV fee[due 12/08/11], hoping for something to happen. It did. I received a message to attend a meeting in Fresno on Dec. with our newly installed Bishop and the current President of DOK for the Anglican Diocese of San Joaquin. I'm the President-elect, starting in April, 2012.I have to go. I need about $35 for gas, that I don't have, not yet anyway...

I also needed, around Dec. 1, to buy more canned cat food, litter & dog food. Probably about $75 which I didn't have either.

Then at church on Sunday, one of our singers who is an animal lover told me that she wanted to "take over" the cost for food & supplies for my kitties and the dog. I told her what I needed and she promised to bring it next Sunday. Another singer who loves animals had brought me some cat/kitten dry food that she'd gotten for a former tenant's cat. When I brought that food inside the house, MJ greeted me at the door, as did Lucyfur & Sneaky Pie.
They meowed & pestered until I poured the kitten crunchies into their empty bowl.
Feasting lasted for quite some time, followed by face & paw washing, purring and napping. I had bought 3 large bags of their fave crunchies and the bowl hadn't been empty long, but kitten crunchies are like cake, candy & ice cream, all rolled into one for kitties...and they loved it as it was such a special treat.

I had received a notice that my health insurance provider[the school district pays the least expensive HMO cost until I'm 65...2 more years...],had changed the costs of the various plans. The PPO which I'd had for the last 2 years,[no extra cost to me...]was still no extra cost, but the Blue Shield HMO[a much better plan for me as it doesn't have the $3500 p/yr deductibles] was now only a $1.15 p/mo cost to me where it had been $300 cost to me p/mo before. So I waited to be notified of the open enrollment period so I could change my plan.

And waited...

Yesterday, I got a notice from the school district, which mentioned the now closed enrollment period. I called them, then CALPers[health insurance provider], waited only an hour for a call-back and discovered that the enrollment period was over. The person I spoke with was very helpful and gave me the fax number for the enrollment unit, so that I could request a change of program due to not being notified of the open enrollment period. I haven't heard back yet. I must say that the school district always notified us and in the past year, have turned over everything to CALPers that has to do with retirees. The info packet I received said NOTHING about the dates for the open enrollment period and when I read through all the pages, for the third time, a mail-in card for plan booklets fell out. There was one line, in smaller print than this, saying,"...remember the open enrollment period is...

I suppose if I was a CALPers member, I might have memorized their open enrollment dates, but I'm a CALStrs member who merely has their health insurance, THROUGH a school district that micro-managed every aspect of retirees' health coverage, changing the open enrollment dates each year. In other words, what we have here is a failure to communicate and it's not CALPers fault.

So after I tried to sell some jewelery,[$50 for a pair of diamond studs they'd sell for $400... they didn't want my watch at all...] I contacted the music store that has my instruments on consignment. They said they owed me for some bells last year and still haven't paid me. And... as I told someone, I didn't want to leave any stone unturned looking for the cash I needed.

I sat down and crunched the numbers again... for the umpteenth time...

Even with the kitty and dog,"angels" taking up that burden and postponing the purchase of gas until December 1, the day of the trip, I was going to be short on my property taxes[$712.46, due Dec.10] and unable to pay my PGE on time[12/15] because my water/garbage/refuse bill of $101.61 was due Dec.7. and the Social Security payday is on Dec.28[late], leaving me with a short fall of over $120. It goes without saying that there will be no turkey either for Thanksgiving or Christmas at my house this year...

Deciding not to allow fear, despair & depression to take over... to continue to believe even when all hope seemed lost, I went online to pay the car registration renewal bill. There was a surprise. The web site had changed, so I had to register, which I did, confirming e-mail address, etc., etc... Then I checked the menu, clicked on the registration renewal listing and found a "notice"...
All registrations due from June through December 31, 2011 would have a 30 day "grace period" from the due date, without penalty... This was due to a law change that affected mailed notices and a rate change.

My due date was 12/08/11... I could wait until 12/28/11 when my SS check came to pay the renewal, without incurring any late fees at all.

I quickly recalculated my budget without the $129 DMV fee until after the 12/28 SS pension check.

Praise the Lord! The total, after this revised payment schedule showed as $1.30 instead of the -$127.70 amount I had been struggling to deal with.

Who would have ever thought that the Lord could use the State of California, much less the DMV, as an agent of His provision?

I can't wait to see how my gas for the trip is provided...

I may not have any turkey this year, but I sure am thankful !!!

...I'm almost afraid to look

2011-09-15T15:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been, uh, distracted... so I haven't been here in a while...

My back went out, then I was sick... much of the summer passed in a medicated haze.
Then on August 11, I took MsYBee to the eye doctor in Jerrytown and after I dropped her off but before I got home, the transmission of my car had a major "episode", thunking and stopping suddenly as if I had hit a momentary brick wall. The "drive" indicator was flashing[not good...] and the tach was jumping around like crazy.
I managed to get home and discovered that after turning the motor off, then on again, the drive light no longer flashed.

At this point, I figured that the timing belt I had elected not to replace last April was becoming an issue, but, I had NO money at that time to go get it checked out, so I waited until my pension checks came in, driving as little as possible because when I did, after only a mile or so, the problems returned, scaring me, so I just stayed home.On Sept.1, pension checks in the bank, I went to the dealer. They weren't sure what was wrong, but tried an "inexpensive" solution [$232.34] by replacing the 4th gear switch, hoping it would be that simple. It wasn't. After they tested it, they came back to tell me that the whole transmission was going out and would need to be replaced, to the tune of $4000.00, oh... and now it wouldn't shift into reverse anymore...

I was stunned... $4000 might as well have been $4,000,000... I had no way of getting that much money. So I "limped" home, hazard flashers blinking, not exceeding 35 mph,
being passed by irate drivers with cars that worked and clinching my teeth at each "shift" and the accompanying jolt. Since they had had problems getting it to go in reverse, I had to park on the street so I would be able to move. I knew that God had a plan to provide me with the money to fix my car, no other scenario seemed even feasible,but I had NO idea how He would provide the money.

Then I had a phone call from my cousin. He's 8 years older than I and we have never been close, but he had called once during July because he's researching our genealogy and he had some questions for me. He called back, because he had made plans to visit some distant relatives who lived in the foothills and wondered if I wanted to go. I had told him that I was in Chpt.13 the first time he called, so he understood when I told him that I really had no money for traveling at this point, so he volunteered to pay for the overnight accommodations and travel expenses. Since I knew that he's well off and just wanted company, I agreed. At some point in our conversation, I mentioned my car and we discussed the various possibilities. At this point he offered to lend me the money. I told him that I couldn't afford to pay him back and he said,"Just give me your pink slip and that will do fine for me".

I was almost speechless. We've never been close and I would have never asked him to lend me the money, though he really is quite able, financially. Later that day, I got an email saying,"The check's in the mail". I got it Monday, deposited it Tuesday and am having my car repaired tomorrow[Friday]. Interestingly, my cell phone died the evening that he had called me. I mean, really dead... as in go to the Sprint store and get a new one dead.

Hummm... the phone hangs on long enough to get my cousin's call and provide the money to fix my car, then dies... I go to the Sprint store because there I can be billed for the new phone, which I just got today. Hummmm...

what next...

...time sure flies when you're "having fun"

2011-08-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

...or as my friend Lucyfur would say, "has it been a year already?"

A year of dealing with the culmination of several years of my personal financial woes which now finds me in bankruptcy with no chance of modifying my mortgage and living on a very small fixed income with no job in sight.

I don't want to seem ungrateful, because I'm glad to be finally at a place of resolution, but I must say that I'm glad that the government funding crisis was resolved and I didn't have to find out how I'd do without Social Security. I'm sure that God has me where He wants me and will provide all I need. Now I need to retrain myself to be satisfied with what I have and curb all my desires for that which I cannot afford, which is most everything, "extra"...

It's been a long and peculiar journey so far and now I seem to be becoming more isolated. I can only believe that it's "part of the plan"...

I wonder where I'll be at this time next year?

...remembrances of things past

2011-07-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

I normally don't post pictures that show clear shots of faces, but since I'm not going to name anyone pictured, I don't think anyone will mind.

Remembering music made, laughter shared and a bond ordained in heaven and forged in joy... or to paraphrase Shakespeare...
"... he[or she] who sheds his blood[makes music] with me will be my brother[sister]...
and those who were here, will stand taller when this day is mentioned..."

[I did warn you that I was ~~paraphrasing~~... OK... rewriting... but the sentiment is the same...]

...good news... and not-so-good news

2011-07-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

Any homeowner has dealt with this situation... that your home, being in most cases the most expensive investment you'll ever make, will appreciate and depreciate in value, as the economy ebbs and flows. Since mid 2004, things have been unbelievably unpredictable. By the middle of 2005, my small house had a market value of over $400 K... I paid $85K for it in 1988... it is less than 1200 s.ft., but is in a "really good area". An area known for stable turnover and considered one of the "best" in Mudville. So I refinanced to get out from under an adjustable rate mortgage with a bank that has since gone broke. I was very conservative in my choice of mortgage[30 yr fixed, 6.87%, strong lender] and I didn't "max out" my value, 'cause it made me nervous.

Fast forward to the present,where I am in Chapter 13, discharging several credit cards and the home equity LOC at $84K & 8% over the next 32 months. I was able to keep my home by going the Chapter 13 route. Without it, I would have lost my home to foreclosure and eventually been forced into bankruptcy anyway. I had hoped to be able to modify my 1st mortgage, but I no longer qualify as I am not dead, totally disabled or in foreclosure. This has left me in a very tight financial situation with no savings to fall back on and making each property tax payment an obstacle to overcome, so the notice I received in the mail last week was "good news".

My property values had been
listed as $240K for the last
couple of years.
The only problem was that
at least a year ago, the
"market value" was $120K...

and due to the inflated value,
my property taxes were
about $750, two times a year...
and due to the fact the the state,
county and city are BROKE....
the chances for tax relief by way
of reassessment, seemed dim...

So when I received a new assessment for $120 K in the mail, it was Christmas in July.
Of course, I don't know how this affects my tax bill yet, but it should be lower.
My concern now is if I have to call the police or firemen to come to my home that I can now better afford to keep, will anyone show up in a timely manner... ?

...no news is good news...really ?

2011-07-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

One would think that any legal proceedings such as being accepted into Bankruptcy would rate at least a letter from the court acknowledging said state.

Apparently not...

When someone files for bankruptcy, they are required to go through 2 credit counseling sessions online, [not unlike traffic school...], paying a fee & earning "certificates".
[I will not discuss at length, the total lack of value of this kind of punitive busywork, especially at the point in the credit life of the debtor where bankruptcy is the only option, except to say that it reminded me of making misbehaving students write "sentences". Traffic School is actually a far better & more useful experience.]

The first course was done and filed before my paperwork could begin.

On April 4, before my case was filed, I was required to complete the second course & submit my certificate to the lawyers to be filed with my case. I arranged to have a copy of my certificate e-mailed to the lawyer and I called to confirm that they received it. On April 19, I received a request from the court to submit my credit counseling certificate [form 23]. Informing me that if they did not have it on file by my court date, [May 4], my case would be dropped and it would be expensive to re-instate.

I called the lawyer, who assured me that they had filed the certificate and that, "they always send out that form. Just ignore it"... so I did.

time passed...

The "meeting with creditors", aka court date [May 4] came & went. I sat at home waiting... for some notice that my case was accepted into bankruptcy. The 45 day period expired and the only notice I received was a receipt for my 1st payment to the Trustee. [By my court date, I had made 2. Today, I'm mailing #4 of 36. I am actually "ahead" since this payment isn't due until 7/25/11, but it takes about half of my Social Security check for each payment, which must be by money order. I've found an Smart store that has only a $.79 charge for an m.o. under $500 and in order to make sure that I can always get the payment in on time, I have to do it this way.]

But I digress...

On June 19, the court sent me another "form 23", with similar warnings as to the dire consequences for "non-compliance"...

Of course it was late on a Friday afternoon when I opened the letter, so I called the lawyer, explained the situation and received some surprising information.

"Oh, no news is good news from the court... they only contact you if there is a problem with your case... we filed your certificate... just fill-out the form 23 and send us a copy... we'll take care of it..."

Which I did...

On Monday, the lawyers left a voice mail. They had contacted the court and discovered that there was some sort of "glitch" with the computer and quite a few people had received "form 23" notices in error. The court had found the problem and had acknowledged the receipt of my certificates, so all was well...

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

It would have been really nice to have received a letter from the court, notifying me of the acceptance of my Chapter 13 petition. The sense of relief at the completion of a pretty stressful and terrifying few years would have been welcome.
As it is, I still feel like I'm waiting, "for the other shoe to fall", but I suppose that I just have to trust that the worst is behind me and move on.

The HUD counselor just called to "check-up" on my situation.We had put the mortgage modification on hold during the bankruptcy filing period. It seem that the banks are now making it much harder to modify based on "imminent default", which was my qualification. Now, to qualify, one of the mortgage holders has to die, suffer total disability or be months behind on their mortgage. Since I'm not dead, not totally disabled and current on my mortgage, I no longer qualify. This just means that things will remain very tight financially unless I get some sort of extra money each month. But, things have worked out so far... so I'll just continue to trust that God will provide all my needs.

...any day now

2011-06-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since I was here... I have been sick on & off since early May and since I don't have internet access at home, it took too much effort to come down to the church while I was sick, just to blog.

Especially since I'm still waiting to hear from the Bankruptcy Court as to the final approval of my Chapter 13 plan. The 45 day period will expire soon as my Creditors meeting with the Trustee was May 4 and the judge is supposed to rule on my case within 45 days, which would be June 18. So I had been hoping to have some news to relay and though it hasn't happened yet, it should happen soon.

In the meantime, I have made my "payments "to the Trustee, which are due on the 25th of the month. I've made 3 so far... I'm trying to stay ahead so I've already mailed the payment due June 25. If the plan is accepted, my final payment will be March 25, 2014. During this time, I'm not allowed to enter into any credit obligations, as if anyone would give me credit anyway, but that's probably a good thing, as I've never done "well" managing credit as my current situation should attest.

As soon as the Chapter 13 is accepted, I'll try again to modify my mortgage. Being "in" bankruptcy may get their attention...

This late spring has been very stormy... quite a bit of unseasonal cool weather and rain... which in the garden, has its good side as well as its down side...

The Johnny Jump-ups, which would normally be toast by now, are flourishing.

In late April, these cherry toms were ripening, I've since eaten them & watched these just setting tomatoes grow and ripen as well.

Here the same plant is today... just covered with ripening fruit, yum...

and some of them are as big as golf balls !

Meanwhile, around in the back yard...

the Mr Stripys are still waiting for the sun...

the Brandywines are growing a bit...

but not like the Beefmaster and Pink Caspian, which were not from 6 packs & got a quicker start.

The Cherry toms in the back are growing...

this Sun Sweet is actually coloring up...

but the few others that are set are quite green...

The critters have left the crook neck squash alone so far and one has set there.

The Blue Lake pole beans are enjoying the cooler weather though...

and have even given my the first bean !

Unfortunately, I didn't get any cherries and the peach tree lost most of its crop to the weather.

But there are apples, "growing"...

and the pomegranate tree is exploding with blooms.

Ever the opportunist, the volunteer hollyhocks from the ranch, have "moved" themselves to a sunnier location and are blooming like crazy.

I'm sure that soon, summer will arrive and we'll be complaining about the heat. But as for me, I'm enjoying the cooler days as long as they last... even if it means that the garden grows slower...

...ALWAYS read the fine print

2011-04-26T15:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, being "careful", [OK,OK... anal...] has its advantages.

If I hadn't compulsively forced myself to read all the pages of the Chapter 13 documents I recently signed, I wouldn't have found what might have been a costly error.

I had filled-out l-o-n-g financial disclosure forms for the lawyer and had a long meeting, discussing my answers, line by line. We discussed one problematic entry and I thought that we were "clear" that that monthly deposit by a "holding company" for the school district was merely a reimbursement for the monthly medical insurance premium taken by "the state"health insurance provider from my state teachers pension check, which the "district" will continue to pay, monthly, until I'm 65.
I received no W2,W4 or 1099, since it wasn't considered income, just a benefit agreed upon by the district and the teachers union years ago. I couldn't choose to receive a cash payment if I wanted to. They agreed to pay the "lowest" monthly premium for my medical insurance until I'm 65, period.

When we had a different insurance provider, they sent the check each month for me and all my colleagues under 65, directly to the provider. However, when we changed to the "CALPers" health insurance plan in November, 2009, things became, "complicated"...

Complicated, because my teachers pension is paid by CALSTRS, also a statewide organization. So CALPers insisted that all monthly medical premiums for their insurance paid by current retirees, be deducted from the CALSTRS benefit check,
before the monthly check was mailed or direct deposited. That didn't really bother me but school districts, like my former employer, now had to put aside the premiums they were paying for us into a holding company, which would reimburse us for the amount withheld by CALPers from my monthly CALSTRS pension payment, and the fun began...

Since these premiums were always paid directly to the insurance provider, there was no danger that they might be misunderstood as income. The IRS doesn't even require them to be reported. But apparently, the clerk, whose job it was to transfer all my financial info onto the Chapter 13 forms, had never seen anything like it before.
She reported my gross CALSTRS pension[including the amount deducted], as well as including the "reimbursement amount" each month, ballooning my "annualized income" from $25 K to over $32 K... so I called the lawyer's office.

It took some time for the lawyer on the phone, looking at my papers to understand the problem. I told her that I had had my 2010 taxes done, since we met, and could prove that I didn't make anywhere near $32 K... then she saw the problem. The reimbursement was reported as income, while listing the gross pension amount before taxes, deductions, etc... so they are doing an,"amended financial statement", which I will be going in to sign before my court date on May 4. At that time, any creditors can show up and complain about the settlement, but once the judge accepts the settlement amount, it stays for the 36 months as long as I pay the amount on time each month. At the end of 36 months, all the debt is expunged, although my credit rating will be bad for another 5 years. If I hadn't caught this mistake now, the case might have been contested for a larger settlement, which I can't afford, or the papers might have had to be refiled, which is expensive.

It has been a long, strange & frightening trip... and it's not over yet. I'm SOOO not looking forward to the court date. If creditors show up, it will be unpleasant, to say the least, but I'm told that often, no creditors show and the judge accepts the case into Chapter 13 with no real drama. I could use a little less drama.

More news as it becomes available.

...overcast, but looking better

2011-04-19T14:29:00.000-07:00

I am really enjoying the benefits of making myself prune the roses this year. This "Mr.Lincoln" has really had some nice, deep red blooms.

the fact that I took most of these pictures on an overcast day, helps to intensify the depth of the colors, but makes it harder to get really clear shots.

The buds always have such a promise that the overcast skies help prolong.

When it is very sunny, the buds open so quickly that you can miss them entirely.

These "Cecil Breuners" in the back exploded with the sunny, warm week we had recently and are now mostly "spent", though more buds will come.

I got this nice "salmon" geranium for only $.98 at Port Mudville Nursery. It's a replacement for one I lost to the cold, dry winter we had a couple of years ago.

I also added a "Crimson" dianthus and some white lobelia to the "Crystal Palace" lobelia that has reseeded itself for the last several years. When the summer sun hits both the intense blue of the lobelia and the dianthus, it is spectacular !
I can't wait.

When OSH was having a, "25% off all plants sale" last weekend, I picked-up some petunias, as well as some "Easter Bonnet" salvia, more lobelia & a couple of dianthus. They are waiting for me to put them into containers, but being "festive" in their waiting.

the "Margaritas" surprised me by reappearing, I thought that they were dead.

and this "Bay Laurel" seedling is trying to survive transplantation. It was a volunteer from my tree which did not survive the dry fall & early winter.

While the "Meyer" lemon perfumes the front,

the grapefruit tree is covered with buds...

and the lime tree is already starting to bloom.

The "Virginia Creeper" is covering the southern end of my house quite nicely.

The cherry tree has, "set"...

as has the peach tree, now a framework for the grapevine...

the apple tree is a later bloomer and is just starting to set.

I planted an assortment of bulbs several years ago, but only these returned this year. I think they are "Freesias",[sp?], but I'm not sure. I do, however, enjoy their happy colors amongst the rubble.

Then there are the camellias... both red,

and variegated...

I managed to plant some pole beans without totally crippling myself. The earwigs have already gotten to them, so I put out snail & slug bait. That won't stop the earwigs, but hopefully they'll soon move on to other things...

I found a 6pack of both "Brandywine" and "Mr.Stripey" tomatoes, which is why the plants look so small. They seem to be growing well already and I hope to have some good tomatoes around July.

I did get several larger tomato plants, mostly "Beef steak" types which need more time to mature anyway.

I'm hoping that these 2 "crookneck" squash plants survive.I've already lost 2 zucchini & 2 crookneck sets to snails this spring, so these are surrounded by snail & slug bait. The problem here will be rats when the fruit starts to set.

All the recent rains have really encouraged the wild violets. I'm hoping for blooms, both white and purple, this year.

The violets inside are thriving, however...

I love spring !

...good spring-y things

2011-04-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

a yellow rose in a perfect moment...

surrounded by others in various states of bloom...

the first pink bloom on the climbers...

red geraniums enjoying the sun...

one of only 2 spears of iris to bloom...

and by the next day, several buds open at once...

my neighbors' lilacs are blooming...

a "beef steak" tomato eager to be planted...

the cherry and yellow pear toms on the front porch...


and look! ...2 cherries set already!

...warning

2011-04-04T15:22:00.000-07:00

Someone hacked into my computer/e-mail account, either from my phone or from my computer. My entire e-mail contact list was spammed and a fictitious blog post was posted by someone other than me. I've changed my passwords and hope there will be no further problems.

...hitting, "reset"

2011-03-31T13:25:00.000-07:00

in Spring...

there are signs of rebirth
that you come to expect...

such as the return
of the cherry
blossoms...

and the blooming of annuals...

planted in the gloom of winter...
sending down roots and waiting...

just waiting to smile up at the warming sun...

a bit tattered by the recent storms...
but now availing themselves...
of the full bounty of sunshine...

then there's the regeneration you never expect to see...

an apparently dead fern sending out new growth...

the "annual"lobelia,[Crystal Palace], blooming for the 5th season...

the thriving begonias I almost threw away last fall...

but since deciding to plant them anyway...
I have been treated to quite a show all winter...

there's any number of lessons to be learned there...

as there is in the persistence of the few stubborn iris...
who seem not at all interested in blooming...
then suddenly show spikes with buds...
though the once crowded beds...
now have only a few spikes of blossoms...

the lemon tree, a Meyer lemon...
[hybrid of an orange and a lemon]...
has ripe fruit, ripening fruit, developing fruit...
open buds and still closed buds all at the same time...
reminding me that for every thing there is a time...
which may some times, be all at once...

the mildness of February...
had encouraged these "Johnny Jump-ups"to start blooming...
the recent storms battered them a bit...
but the warm sunshine has made them smile...

and is making me glad that I spent the money in January...
planting the bud-less plants during the cold gray days...
so I could enjoy their cheer now...

these cherry tomatoes will give cheer of a different sort...
what with cherry toms costing $3 to 4 a pint...
and will taste great too...

these are a few more cherry toms...
as well as some Beefsteak hybrids for the back yard...
I can't afford the cost of water for a lot...
but I can grow a couple of plants...

I hope to add a couple of heirlooms later...
maybe even some green beans...
I also had a couple of squash starts that a hungry snail ate...

I finally got my roses pruned and am being rewarded...
with prolific numbers of buds on the ones I did first...
especially compared to last year when I didn't prune them at all...
so I never had much in the way of continuing displays...

and then there's this...

my flowering cherry tree in the front yard...

the storms messed-up the blossom displays in the back...
for both the cherry and the peach...

Mother Nature is hitting, "reset"...

and so am I...

my Chapter 13 bankruptcy has been filed...
my court date will be after Easter...
but I've already made my first payment to the Trustee...
which will continue monthly for 3 years...
at which time all my debts, except for my 1st mortgage...
will be gone...

I'm still hoping to modify my 1st mortgage...
as it is literally 2/3rds of my fixed monthly income...
[it should be only about 30%...]
if I can convince the ever-evasive WFB to modify it, even a little...
it will be a tremendous difference to me...

the difference between just squeeking by each month...
with little or no reserves...
and being able to build some modest reserves...
for emergencies or needed expensive repairs...

the lawyer's fee is coming out of the Trustee payments...
which is a good thing...
meaning that my meager funds will not have the burden...
of added obligations...

I just had my taxes done...
and the refund will cover the tax prep fee...
as well as my property taxes...
leaving me enough to service my car...
and replace my back door which has fallen apart...

AND...

a nice beginning of my cash, "emergency" fund...
since I no longer have any credit cards...

hopefully, I'll be able to add to it, bit by bit...
so paying my property taxes in December won't be so stressful...

the good news is that the significant financial losses...
that were reported to the IRS last year...
had a carryover this year, hence the refund of all taxes withheld...
and there will be the same carryover next year too...

insuring that the same income level will generate a similar refund...

there will be a carryover for 2012 too, just not quite as much...

what these regular infusions of cash will do for me...
now that I'm used to living on so little...
will be to allow me to take care of those home & car maintenance chores...
that I always used credit for, but never quite paid off...

so you could say that I've hit the "reset" button myself...

after all the years of stress and agony with a fruitless job search...
the crushing debt, the specter of homelessness...
the shame of my careless lifestyle being shoved in my face...
and the realization that I was, "poor", old & living on a fixed income...

I've finally figured-out how to live on very little...

it's not easy, having to be so careful with money...
but there is a satisfaction in controlling myself...
and watching the faithfulness of God in providing for my needs...
is really quite a joy...

it's also become apparent to me that besides learning to do with less...
my physical condition needs my attention...
as the arthritis has really hampered my mobility lately...
and I've come to realize that I probably couldn't have kept many jobs...

so, as I have slowly learned to deal better with my financial constraints...
I am learning how to best heal and improve my aging physical self...

not to mention the emotional & spiritual growth...

I am so grateful to God that He's lead me to this place...
and that His grace will lead me along His path for me...

not too many people my age get to hit,"reset"...
with positive results, that is...

and now that many things seem to just be "falling into place"...
the unbounded grace of God, just blows me away...

Thank you, Jesus !

God is good, indeed...

...making lentil soup, once again

2011-03-14T12:51:00.000-07:00

I've been asked to make soup again...
for the first mid-week Lenten supper at the church...
and there is no guess-work, it'll be lentil soup with sausage...
[for the complete recipe see this...]

I never used to think twice about going to the store & buying the "fixens"...
spending $60-70 was not the issue it has become at this point...
so last week, after Square Peg, "signed me up"...
to make soup for the first Wednesday evening...
[Lenten service/supper/movie...]
she told me to let her know what it cost...
and the church would pay for the ingredients...
[we are talking a triple batch here...]

so last week, I figured out the cost of what I didn't have on hand...
and mentioned it in passing, then got involved in "stuff"...
and didn't "follow through"...

so today, I realized that my car insurance premium was due...
and in checking my bank balance...
realized that I could pay for nothing else...
until after my SS check arrives on 3/23...

which would not be an issue except...

that I have to make soup on 3/16...
[and I had to buy the ingredients...]
and the car insurance premium will be taken out on 3/17...

doing both was not possible...

so I wrote myself a note to ask SPeg about getting a check...
figuring that if I asked today...
I might get it in time to shop on Wednesday...
putting myself in a time crunch...
since the soup had to start cooking by 2 PM to be ready...

when I walked into the church office this morning...
SPeg greeted me with a check !
which she had prepared last week after we talked...
but hadn't seen me to give it to me until now...

it was for exactly the amount I needed to get the soup makin's...

I was so stunned, I showed her my "to do" list...
with, "ask about soup $" at the top...
so we had a good chuckle about how God provides...
even when we forget to ask...

I went on in to do my online business...

I had just put $20 that I had collected from the choir for drinks...
into the bank to give my balance a bit of cushion...
since we next meet on 3/27 after church to rehearse...
I have plenty of time to restock the juice and water before then...
and I do get my SS check on 3/23...

but there was the issue of my cell phone bill...

after a couple of attempts to get them to change my "due date"...
I finally had reached the correct person...
and got them to change it to the 1st of each month...
it had been around the 24-28th, which always left me scrambling to pay it...

so it was a nice surprise to see...
that the only slightly larger payment...
[this month only, due to the change in length of billing cycle]...
would be taken out on April 1...
making my meager funds stretch even farther...

now, if I can get enough of a tax refund...
to pay for having the taxes done...
AND pay my property taxes [due 4/10, actually 4/11 this year]...
life will become much less stressful...

oh...

and when that lawyer finally calls me to sign the Chapter 13 papers...
that will be a big relief too...

God is Good, indeed...

...winter is losing its grip

2011-03-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

winter is beginning to lose it's grip around here...

the old plum tree is blooming...
the peach tree blossoms are beginning to open...
everywhere, leaves are appearing...
and daffodils are blooming...

I am supposed to sign the Chapter 13 papers this week...
but haven't heard from them yet and it's Thursday, almost noon...

I sang for a funeral this morning & get my hair cut tomorrow...
but other than stuff like that, not much is happening around here...
so I'm just waiting for the lawyer to call me...

I had a real scary moment with Charlie last week...

he is quite shy and keeps his distance unless I'm laying down...
then he makes a real pest of himself, wanting to be petted, etc...

so when I saw him on Friday evening...
looking extremely sick...
mouth open, drooling long, heavy strands of sticky stuff...
whiskers dirty, as were his legs and chest...
I was absolutely sure that he was at death's door...

I managed to catch him but he used his claws to his advantage...
so I eventually lost my grip on him and he scurried away...
leaving me bleeding, but aware that he wasn't "weak" & didn't have a fever...

he then hid until Saturday morning, when he looked even worse...
with dirty mucus clotted on his face, whiskers, chest and legs...
showing no interest in food or water...

I was sure that he needed to go to the vet...
but I couldn't catch him...
couldn't even get near him...
and had to just give in & trust him to God's care...

he hid all day Saturday and Sunday...

on Monday morning, he still wasn't eating...
but was hunched on the cat window perch in the sunshine...

Tuesday, he looked a bit cleaner & was in the sun again...
but was still keeping his distance from me...
& not coming for food or water...

I got up early Wednesday, at 3:54 AM, to go to the bathroom...
on my way, Charlie met me as he always does when he's hungry...
his face somewhat cleaner with no drippy stuff...
thrilled with the improvement, I put down some food...
he didn't eat much, but he did eat some and had a drink...

later, when I got up for good, he was back for more...
looking much better... much cleaner, even his legs were clean...
he also then appeared at every opportunity in the evening for more food...
and this morning seemed to be his normal self...

I even watched him sit & groom himself after eating...

I have NO idea what happened unless Molly[the dog...]played too rough...

when Mackie was so sick a couple of years ago...
I think that's what happened to him too...

Molly will go after a cat if it scoots across the floor...
she's only playing, but she doesn't know her own strength...
and I think that she "play bounced" Mackie then...
and Charlie recently, because they both move quickly through her "zone"...

she wants to play chase... they don't...

both Mackie & Charlie will come down from a high sleeping spot...
and scoot into my bedroom to get petted or lobby for food...
with their attention on me, they don't see her until it's too late...
she can be especially opportunistic if she's chewing a bone or toy...

I often hear her bark her, "keep your distance you rotten cat" alert...
then see a cat come running into my bedroom, the bathroom or kitchen...
with Molly following it, not in an aggressive or threatening way...
but she often has trouble stopping and runs into or over the cat...

so I'm pretty sure that that's what happened...
probably both times...

she runs through the house like a bull in a china shop...
bumping me and scattering kitties right & left...
I hope she never hurts any of us, but her track record is not real good...
though my dislocated finger is the only thing that I know was her fault...

so, since there isn't a lot I can do to stem the tide of her exuberance...
[speaking to her in ANY tone of voice makes her worse...]
I'm just glad that Charlie has recovered[as well as Mackie...]
and hope that she'll grow out of her exuberance...

until then, I'm very thankful that God can deal with the stuff I can't...

...not much happening here

2011-02-15T13:48:00.000-08:00

just biding my time until the papers for the Chapter 13 need to be signed...

I did get my lawn mowed and am trying to get the roses cut back...
I'm also plotting to clean out the old garden beds...
so I can have some tomatoes this summer...
but aches & pains are plentiful, not to mention daunting...

so I'm going slowly and following instructions, "to wait, quietly..."

meanwhile, the kitties are loving their new bedroom access...
though I have to keep a sharp eye on Molly, the dog...
who wants to come in and get at the cat box...
so she is NOT allowed in the bedroom...
it's really too small for her anyway...

so when there is something to write about, I will...
until then, all my best to all of you...

...the good, the bad & the lessons

2011-02-03T14:57:00.000-08:00

Mz Sneaky Pie, staring out the bedroom window...
from time to time, the tip of her tail twitches...
as she watches the birdies flit about in the old plum tree...
she longs to be outside, but has never been...

for several reasons...

as I remind her that she wouldn't let me take her to the vet...
to get "chipped" and a rabies shot so she could be licensed...
and can't be out unless she is...
I also remind her how fast the cars go by...
that she's not learned how to be "safe" out there...

and it brings to my mind how this strange journey of mine...
has had it's turns and twists...
and how God has moved in unexpected ways to keep me "safe"...

the mortgage modification that hasn't done much yet...
[though the HUD counselor has done her job, and more...]
if it had been done, would have probably been cancelled...
when I filed the bankruptcy papers...
leaving me to owe the bank thousands of $ I wouldn't have had...
causing me to probably be foreclosed on, losing my home...

but the bank has ignored my requests, for 6 months now...

[hmmmm...]

in the meantime, I started getting Social Security benefits...
not much, but it put me just barely in the black each month...

then Fluff & Piglet died...

a painful loss, but suddenly I had about $50 more a month...
because I no longer had to buy special food for them...
and I would need about 2 jugs less kitty litter too...

so when I met with the lawyer re the lawsuit AMEX filed...
she looked at my budget and said that we might be able to file now...
without the mortgage modification...
especially with them reducing & restructuring their fee to me...

in the process of filling out inches of financial forms...
doing the required on-line credit counseling prior to bankruptcy...
[an hour of filling out forms online...]
copying tax returns, pension stubs, bank statements, etc.[AGAIN]...
and changing banks, because WFB freezes assets when bankruptcy is filed...
it began to become clear that this was the right time for all this to happen...

the tax return the court would see showed all my investments going to zero...
it showed the financial losses I had...
the money I went through, trying to pay my debts...
how my only income other than pension were from odd jobs...

by closing my WFB accounts, but continuing to pay my mortgage...
on time, but from another bank, I would get their attention...
and both the lawyer & HUD counselor agree...
that I may get a better deal once I've filed for bankruptcy...

because I then will have a more structured financial profile...
my living expenses are very minimal with no extras...
and my source of income is permanent...
not a job I can lose, but a pension & benefits that will continue for life...

so they may not modify my mortgage down to 30% of my income...
but they may lower the interest rate and thus lower the payments...
they might forgive part of the principal or extend the loan...
both things that would lower the payments...

so having what has been an annoying delay...
may prove to be the best scenario after all...

which occurred to me as I was admonishing Mz SPie this AM...

God has been "looking out" for me...
protecting me from dangers I don't "see"...

as I "protect" my kitties from the dangers of being outside...
and since He knows things I don't...
just as I know things that the kitties don't...
I need to just trust Him as I want them to trust me...
[a lesson...]

yesterday, the lawyer looked through all my paperwork...
she said that it looked good & that I had done a good job on it...

she had gone through it with me, editing things into the proper framework...
then gave them to the secretary to put into the "paid" drawer...
where another staffer would fill-out all the court papers...
she said that they would call me in 2 or 3 weeks to come in & sign them...

then we would file the Chp. 13 bankruptcy...

"You will not lose your home", she said...

"Your payments are current, as are your taxes & insurance...
your income is stable and can support the current payment...
especially after the bankruptcy...
and you are only $50K upside down from the first..."

"They have no reason to foreclose"...

a great relief... the "good"...

the "bad" ?

someone took 4 containers of kitty litter from my front porch...
[about $36 worth or the rest of this month...]

so I had to go to DP to get more in a hurry...
where I discovered that the 27# pails they had...
contained a bonus 3# AND they cost the same as at WallyWorld...
which is a 12 mile round trip and always a hassle...

the smaller jugs were much more expensive at DP...
the price for them at WW makes them the same basic cost as the big pail...
so I'll get jugs when I go to WW, but I can get pails at DP...
without over paying or spending the time, etc to go out to WW...
all in all, a good thing to know...

I'll be contacting my HUD counselor to apprise her of the filing...
and we'll go from there...

the "good" things... the "bad" things...?

they are all blending together to teach me things...
which is, after all, another "good" thing...
as well as another lesson...

...the usual suspects

2011-01-31T17:56:00.000-08:00

things have really changed with the passing of Fluff & Piglet...

for the kitties anyway...
since now the bedroom door is open to them...
though not for Molly, since on the first visit she made...
she went straight for the cat box and...
well, you get the picture...

so she sits in the window or stays on her bed...
or on the couch, without much feline annoyance...

like here where Lucyfur is telling her where she can stick it...
and where she can't...
because now, all but 3 kitties have staked out their territory in the bedroom...

Lacy...

Cagney...

and Murphy are still in the LR/DR at night...

since Molly's in her crate then...
they now have the house to themselves...
and are making the most of it...

MJ has become the new cuddle boy...
and was the first to claim a spot...

Ms Sneaky Pie arrived very shortly there after...
claiming the Piglet side of the bed...

then Mackie, who loves to "perch", discovered the TV...
though he's moved to the foot of the bed when he's sleeping...
after he fell off of the TV 3 times...

and Lucyfur generally sleeps with him...

and last night, Charley, who is very shy, arrived...
purring like a chainsaw...

it's taken some effort on my part, but after 3 nights...
I no longer wake up with cats on my feet, chest, legs, etc...
and we seem to be settling into a routine...

the daytime snoozing spots used to be...
in front of the fireplace...
[Lucy, Charley & Murph...]

or in front of the window...

from a different angle...
[Mac, Murph, Lucy, Charley & MJ...]

I have a feeling that when the newness wears off...
the favorite places will be favorites again...
they just now have more choices...

...remembering Piglet

2011-01-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

it was nearly Halloween in 1997...
1st period had just begun and I was taking roll...
when the head custodian walked into my music room...
he came over to me and then I saw that he was carrying a kitten...

"Mrs. H[my good friend & fellow animal rescuer]...
told me to bring this to you...
she was found by some kids out by the gym...
who saved her from some others who were going to hurt her..."

she still had spittle on her head from where some kid had spit on her...

the PE teacher had called him because she didn't like cats...
and the ones who were "protecting" it...
were yelling at the ones who wanted to hurt it...
so she just wanted it,"no longer her problem..."

as he carried the very scared and almost limp kitten back...
fully intending to call the pound to pick it up...
he realized that it was very thin and weak...
so he went to Mrs.H's room [on the way...]
and she instantly recognizing that it needed care...
sent him and the kitten to me...

2nd period was my prep and my vet was nearby...
so I took her to him & left her there for the rest of the day...

when I came by after school to pick her up...
he told me that she was completely starved & dehydrated...
probably only hours from death before I brought her in...
he'd given her an IV and offered food, which she nibbled...
but there were no fresh injuries...

her tail had been broken in several places before the kids hurt her...
and had healed crooked, looking like "Peekachoo's"...
she had probably been kicked repeatedly...
and had finally run away from that abuse only to be found by cruel kids...
who wanted to "stomp" her as she was black & white and it was almost Halloween...

I'm grateful that there were good kids who stopped them...

when we got home, I set her up with a warm bed & cat box in the bathroom...
so the "others" could get used to her...
she was so weak the first few days that she crawled to food...
and lay down to eat & drink...

but she loved to be cuddled and learned early on...
that I was there for that purpose, as well as food, etc...
and was always very grateful for having been rescued...
rewarding all cuddling & petting with loud purring and head rubbing...

she never really got along with the others...

perhaps a holdover from her abusive early life...
so she became a back yard cat, coming into my bedroom to eat & sleep...
but she loved the outside and was always very vocal in her desires...
make that her need, to be outside, whenever she felt the urge...
which was always...

she was not at all shy in making any and all other desires known...
we often had lengthy "conversations"...
regarding her displeasure with the staff[me], Fluff's selfishness...
or any other impediment to her total self-gratification...

sometimes, after a lengthy confrontation where she had been denied her desire...
she would flop down noisily and sulk, muttering asides at me...

other times she would just let it go and go find Fluff...
sometimes to aggravate or annoy her...
other times, just to "snuggle"...
made even better if it woke up or disturbed Fluff...
as she did in this picture...

but most times...
after a sulk or bugging Fluff, she would return to me...
to further plead her case or to see if pestering would "change my mind"...

if that didn't work, she would often go take a nap...
trying to look pitiful, or even "wronged"...

sometimes she would attempt a separate peace & "maturity"...

often, then next move was aimed at annoying either Fluff or me...
by crawling into whatever we were doing...
insinuating herself into the middle of it and eventually taking over...
then though she wasn't happily outside, we weren't happy anymore either...

so now she'll be happy always...
outside in her garden and I won't be calling her in...

she's sleeping next to her buddy Fluff...

farewell, dear sweet Piglet...
you were a sweet kitty and quite a character...
I will really miss our "conversations" and cuddle times...
but I know that you & Fluff are at rest now...

always remember that because no one wanted you when you were little...
we found each other and you were always loved & wanted here...

...farewell Piglet

2011-01-27T16:25:00.001-08:00

the x-rays showed a large, almost certainly malignant tumor...
she wasn't going to get better...
& I could tell that she felt awful...
so after I cuddled & kissed her...
I petted her as she was put to sleep...

she didn't resist at all...
she always hated being handled at the vet's...
so I knew that it was time for her to go...
before she felt any worse...
which was coming since she wasn't drinking or eating...

I brought her home and laid her next to Fluff...
with a red rose bud in her paws...

rest well, beloved companion...

...waiting for x-rays

2011-01-26T16:53:00.001-08:00

[revised version...]

Piglet has never really gotten back to herself...
she started eating, then Fluff died and she grieved...

she started eating again, but then stopped...

I didn't like the look of her membranes, too pale...
and she looked unhappy, wanted to be held all the time...
and wasn't really interested in ,"going out"...
so I took her back to the vet yesterday & left her for x-rays...

because he found a "mass" in her abdomen...
he needs the x-rays to be certain...
but it's probably very bad news...
and was to check back after noon today...

they've had a really busy morning and are behind...
so I'm going to return after 3 for the news...

I have her carry box in the car...
but I'm pretty sure that for her trip home...
she won't need her carry box...
I'll probably be returning her home...
to be buried in the garden...
next to her buddy Fluff...

it's hard to believe that they will both be gone...
so close together...

we spent so much time together...
my bedroom already seems so empty...

...details, details

2011-01-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

REVISED VERSION...

since the visit with the lawyer last week, I've been busy...

I opened an account at Bank of Mudville...
enabling it for online/mobile banking...

changed the direct deposit info for my pension, effective the next payment...
and Social Security benefit, effective next month...
[the account/ATM card/15 checks /mo. are free with direct deposit]

took my 1st mortgage off auto pay...
as well as making sure that no credit card payments...
are set to be withdrawn from WFB...

I also changed my "pay from" account to BOM from WFB for...
all my utilities as well as my car & home insurance...
which have to be auto-pay to cost the least they can...

all done MUCH more easily than I had anticipated online or by phone...

a couple will not change until March, but I can deal with that...
since changing the bank for my SUSD medical insurance benefit repay...
[which is deposited into WFB each month...]
has, to this moment been difficult...
and will go into WFB, whether I like it or not...

so I'll "drop by" the "Castle" on my way home...
to see if I can talk to someone from Payroll in person...
[their,"helpline" wants me to leave a contact number...
and they'll call me back in a few days...]
their idea of a quick response is a couple of weeks...

been there... not interested in going there, again...
but then, I'm NOT at all surprised...
that SUSD would be the hardest to deal with...
for even such a simple change...

dealing with the Federal Government was simple...
one quick phone call was all it took...
if I could've remembered my password...
I could've done it online in a flash...

dealing with the state & my pension plan was also very easy...
I signed-in online, found the link, entered the new info...
they e-mailed me of the pending status...
and then quickly confirmed the new bank's approval in an e-mail...

all of my utilities & car insurance allowed me to change banks online...
by adding an account & then deleting the old one...
Sprint was actually processing my payment...
and changed to the new bank... right then...

I don't deal with my homeowners insurance company online...
but through a local agency, so I contacted her...
faxed a copy of the new check to them for her to process...
and received a confirmation e-mail from her...
of the change to take effect for March...

so what I thought would be complicated, has been really not...

well...

I haven't finished with SUSD yet...

but I'm hopeful...

oh... and I received 3 letters from the 1st mortgage holder today...
all asking for me to send ALL the stuff we submitted through HUD...
4 times already... ARGH...

made it a lot easier to go and turn-in my safety deposit box keys...
and empty out all the stuff in the box, most of it out of date, anyway...
I'll close my savings account tomorrow...
with the checking as soon as I get through the beginning of next month...

but for now, onward to grapple with the beast...

POST SCRIPT...

I went by the "Castle" yesterday...
Payroll sent me to Accounting...
and just when I figured that I would get a total run-around...
I heard a voice say,"I know you...I was in your band in middle school..."

it was Robbie, a former student[good saxophone player and good kid...]
who now works in Accounting at SUSD...
so after "catching up", he went looking for someone to help me...

the young lady who came was very considerate...
and listened to my problem, repeating back to me what I needed...
and then promised that she'd call the "holding company" today...
getting back to me, ASAP, with what I needed to do...

I also said that there was nothing on the website for retirees...
and that since this holding company was hard to contact...
there should be a link for retirees on the SUSD website...
at least a contact list for Cobra, the holding company, etc...

so I left, not expecting a great deal, but encouraged by her attitude...

this morning, I found a voice mail from her assistant...
[I didn't know that I was talking to the person in charge yesterday...]
she gave me the address for the website...
as well as detailed instructions and a couple of alternatives...

she also said that if I had no internet access...
to come back in & they would print me the needed form...

so I went online at the holding company...
followed her instructions and easily changed my info on line...
it was just as easy as every other online account...
I just needed the address...

so I called SUSD Accounting back to thank them for their help...
[They have been historically BAD & UNHELPFUL...
so I wanted to encourage this new mindset...]
the assistant I spoke with said that...
they were putting together a proposal to create a "retiree's"link...
on the website to deal with questions such as mine...

AMAZING! I would have NEVER expected that timely & complete a response...
to my mention of needing a retiree's contact list on line...

I guess things DO sometimes change for the better...
even in organizations mired in red tape & complacency...

...stepping off of the edge

2011-01-20T13:05:00.000-08:00

well, it's getting closer...

a process server served me with papers the other day...
I'm being sued by one of my creditors...
I had 30 days to respond, so I called the lawyer's office...
and went in yesterday, since the summons wasn't clear...
as to the details of what I needed to do...

and since nothing has officially happened with the 1st mortgage holder...
I had NO clue as to what to do next...

the associate I spoke with was very helpful...

after ascertaining that my only income can't be garnished...
[since pensions & retirement benefits cannot be seized to pay debts...]
and that "repossession" was not an issue...
her advice was, "ignore the summons"...
since that debt was to be included in the Chapter 13...
that we were beginning soon...

an emergency exit for the maze, as it were...
which was something that I did not expect...

so with that issue "moot"...
we turned to discussing their fee for the Chp.13...

$3500... $1750 now... $1750 after...

at that point, I had to tell her that if I didn't eat for 6 months...
I still couldn't come up $1750... much less $3500...

so she said that she would go in and talk to the "boss"...
to see what he could do for me...

she came back with the good news that they would drop the fee...
from $3500 to $2200... AND allow me to pay in installments...
to the trustee of the Chp.13, along with the settlement...
which they will try to keep at $75 per month...
since the 1st mortgage modification hasn't gone through yet...
and that filing bankruptcy often screws up the modification process...

the lawyer told me that,"I was really lucky to have come to that firm"...
because, "he always tries to help those who are in dire financial straits"...

I smiled and told her that I was sent there...
and we did both mean the church's lawyer, who referred me...

but I am also quite thankful that God cares about foolish old women...
who get themselves into big trouble through missteps & carelessness...
but then, can trust enough to allow God to bring them through the maze...
even though at times it seems hopeless...

she also informed me that ALL my credit card companies...
including ones that I was paying, such as a gas company one...
a department store one and the small credit limit Visa...
would close my accounts as soon as I filed...
so I should stop paying them now...

I also was warned that my bank, WFB, is one of a few...
that freezes ALL accounts when bankruptcy is filed...
even if you are current on all payments to them or owe them nothing...
so I have to change banks... and quickly...
since all 3 sources of my income are "direct deposits" into WFB...

not to mention the "auto pays" using my ATM card from WFB...
for my car insurance, homeowners insurance, cell phone...
I also pay my city utilities, gas & electric & everything else I can...
online...using my ATM card...

then there's the automatic 1st mortgage payment...

so changing banks is a major undertaking for me...
since some of those who are paid automatically...
require a lengthy processing period to change anything...
and keeping all my bills paid on time...
while extricating myself from WFB...
with whom I have no bad blood...
will be tricky at the least, possibly quite difficult...
requiring planning & a bit of good timing...

part of the problem is that my insurance companies give me a discount...
for the auto pay and changing the source of the payment...
may result in me having to pay extra, which I can't afford...

thankfully, I have God on my side...

if the mortgage modification of my 1st doesn't go through...
I have alternatives...
but I have to keep paying the current amount in the meantime...
which is 66% of my monthly income...
leaving me with not a lot to live on...

however, the attorney did tell me to stop paying ALL credit cards...

so that does leave me with about $75 more per month...
and since Fluff is now gone...
I no longer need to spend $40 on special food for her each month...
so I have about $100 I didn't have before...

if the 1st stays the same, I can still start the bankruptcy...
as the minimum payment is $75-100 per month...

and if the first is never modified or reduced at all...
I just might make it...
especially if I can learn to follow His instructions better...

I might even be led around the maze...

or, which is more likely, guided through the confusion...
to emerge wiser and safe, on the other side...

left to my own devices... I might have found the cheese...
but would STILL have been, stuck...
going in circles... or worse

...more winter bits

2011-01-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

I have lived with 4 distinct seasons and loved it...
I miss it even though I only lived in Chicagoland for 5 years...

however...

even though I love the crisp cold of winter...
[though around here, it tends to be a more damp cold...]
there is something to be said for a NorCal "~~winter~~"...
uh... make that, "colder & wetter" season...

FYI these trees exist within 100 yards on the same block...

some liquid amber trees still have some fall color...
in January...
even after several storms...

while this Japanese maple has been bare of leaves for some time...
with no buds in sight...

farther to the south a few yards, this Bradford pear tree...
is one of a pair that have green leaves still...
you can see that a few leaves are red...
they will turn and fall, eventually...

and on the southern end of the block...
this plum tree has swelling buds...
it always is the first to blossom in the "spring"...
and by the end of this month, it will be, "out"...
followed quickly by the red leaf plum near it...

...remembering Fluff

2011-01-18T15:42:00.000-08:00

the "love at first sight" lightening bolt struck me in May of 1993...
when one of my students opened a smallish box she had smuggled on the bus...
and up popped the cutest, most gorgeous, kitten I have ever seen...

big green eyes, pink nose with a white stripe...
with fluffy silver & dark gray tabby fur...
pointed by a snowy white vest and paws...

I was toast... putty in her paws...

on my way home, we stopped at the vet's for a check-up...
as we waited, a fellow "waiter" commented...
"she's gazing at you with such adoration"...

that soon changed...

she was, after all,"the Queen of Everything"...
an attitude NOT designed to endear one, feline or otherwise...
to their "peers", of which in her mind, there were none...
or the "staff", which was me...

but in reality, I had a houseful of kitties...
and those who didn't,"play well with others"...
did not find it a peaceful existence...
as the others sought to "put her in her place"...

after enduring these insults to her person for a year or so...
she discovered that the back yard was a refuge for her...
sleeping in the garage or an outdoor nest...
she came into my bedroom to eat along with a few other, "individuals"...
but spent the bulk of her day, outside, in her kingdom...

then, probably 10 years ago, she had mellowed enough...
and being the clever opportunist that she was...
she began sleeping inside on a regular basis...
and we became "reacquainted" as...
"Her Most Royal Feline Majesty"...and "staff"...

upon entering "her" bedroom, I was greeted with a chirp...
[a meow with a rolled "r" on the end...]
this meant, "I desire food, NOW..." or "open the window"...
she would then pose regally until her desires were met...

in her later years, as we became "friends"...
the chirp developed new meanings...
and came to include,"pet me[adore me] NOW"...

if I was in or on the bed, she would pat my arm with her paw...
if I ignored her or quit "adoring her" too soon...
the next paw tap would include an extended claw...
further ignoring on my part generally was painful...

these last few years, she had only 1 tooth left...
but she used it to good advantage...
and would bite, hard... if the combing was not to her liking...
or some other breach of conduct was perpetrated by the "staff"...

she survived several others namely Mouska, Sumo & Tippy...
but in the Piglet, she met her match...

and would seek, "a separate peace"...

only to suffer more indignities & invasions of her person...
enduring endless lapses in protocol where her territory was invaded & usurped...
the choicest bits of food were taken, her nests invaded...
and herself most horribly imposed on...

these egregious lapses of etiquette would bring forth hisses...
a display of, "the fang" or swatting...
basically to no avail as Piglet was undeterred most of the time...

it should also be noted that during her last moments here with us...
I left the bed, where she was snuggled up to me, to take a shower...
and Piglet moved in to "keep the watch"...
when I returned, she had her head touching Fluff...
looking up at me as I took this phone picture...

then, having said her farewells moved away...
as I petted her, Fluff twitched a few times...
then was gone... Piglet sniffed her and crawled into my arms...

our friend Fluff had gone so quietly & peacefully...

the next day, I laid her to rest in the garden...
in a spot where she loved to sleep away the afternoon...

farewell Fluff... the sweet memories ease the pain of parting...

...farewell sweet Fluff

2011-01-16T23:43:00.001-08:00

tonight, January 16,11:28 PM,
Mz Fluff, age 18...
beloved companion of Piglet & Catsinger...
passed away quite peacefully at home...

she was sleeping next to me with her head on my right arm...

Piglet was on my left...
around 11:15, she began some fairly mild muscle spasms...
I got up, sat next to her...
and petted her as she just drifted off...

she flexed a couple of times...
and just drifted away...

by far, the most peaceful passing I've ever seen at home...

I was going to take her to be put to sleep tomorrow...
in the end, she had it her own way...

tomorrow, I'll lay her in the garden she loved so much...

thank you, Jesus...
for 18 wonderful years of the "Fluffinator"...
and for taking her home so easily & quickly...

God is good...

...P-cans or Puh-cahns... free is for me

2011-01-11T11:09:00.000-08:00

this is a pecan tree, [aka Carya illinoinensis]...

they are a member of the walnut family, [Juglandacae]...
can easily grow to be 100 feet tall...
and were a commonly planted shade tree in the mid 20th century...
which is probably why my neighborhood is rife with them...

they can be a nuisance as far as what they drop...
sticky nectar & blossoms in the spring...
leaves, branches, hulls and nuts in the late fall, early winter...
quite a mess if you aren't going to harvest the nuts...

not to mention all the nuts dropped by birds that sprout into trees...
in every flower bed, container and the occasional lawn sprouting...

so I wasn't too surprised to see the guy on the corner facing the circle...
having the 3 that surround his house cut back early this fall...
the timing surprised me, as the harvest approached...
but to him, I guess avoiding the mess was more important...

I was kind of disappointed to miss out on filling my pockets...
with his unwanted crop in the early winter...
when the winter storms would knock the ripe nuts to the ground...
for me to harvest during my walks around the block...

especially this year when I can't afford to buy nuts...
and the gleaned crop would have been welcome...
but also for the next couple of seasons...
when, as a gardener friend of mine commented...
the cut back trees would produce very little...

as the nuts ripen on the tree, the hulls open...

strong storms shake them onto the ground, along with the hulls...

commercial pecan growers use shaking machines to "drop" the nuts...
then use large sweepers to gather them, shaking out the debris...

bending over and gathering by hand is more "low tech"...
is easier if you are young and limber...
and is a universal method for gathering up many kinds of nuts...
including walnuts and almonds...

the goal is to end up with this...
and so far, I have about 4 pints of nuts in the shell...
if they look as though the shell has just cracked...
I will gather those too...
breaking open the paper thin shell with my fingers...

so shelling them is much less work than it is with walnuts...
and after being shelled...
the nut meats will keep in a storage bag in the 'fridge...
for quite a while until I can toast them for salads...
or use them in baked goods...

another storm is supposed to come through today...

so I'll take a bag with me on my next walk...

how does that saying go...?

"if it's free, it's me and I'll take 3!"...

...bits of winter

2011-01-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

this is actually the most recent photo...
though the next storm, expected tomorrow...
will probably blow away the rest of these leaves...

needs no caption...

nor do the rest...

I needed to see these winter sun pics...
because until yesterday after church...
we'd had days of fog that never lifted...
along with the cold & damp of a normal NorCal winter...

...it's been a while

2011-01-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

today and tomorrow, I'm "filling in" for Squarepeg...
who has had [today] another knee surgery...
so I'm "manning" the phones & "holding down the fort"...
in the church office until she's back on Wednesday...

the main purpose for my being here is the St John's Chamber Music Festival...

this year's concerts are on January 21, 23, 28 & 30...
and someone needs to be here to sell tickets...
I've been here since 9 AM[it's now 1:15...], & I'll leave at 2 PM...

so far, there was one phone call about tickets...
but she wasn't sure about something...
concerning which dates she wanted tickets for...
so she'll check on it and, "call back later..."

other than that, I've stamped & mailed a bunch of envelopes...
numbered the remaining tickets...
answered one phone question,["Psalm 23...]...
referred one phone call & one walk-in to Sp's return on Wednesday...
and had the phone ring with nobody there...

the "counters" have been & gone...
so has Fr. Toolbelt, whom I didn't expect to see today...

I brought freshly ground "Major Dickenson's" blend coffee...
to brew, since I enjoy a full-bodied coffee...
and am now having a caffeine headache...
because I've not been drinking a lot of coffee lately...

I always drank it when I was teaching...
I'd brew a thermal carafe every morning...
[set-up on a timer the night before...]
and drink 2 or 3 mugs during the morning...

since I've always taken it "black"...
I had no problem with drinking it in my classroom...

so since this was the first time I was "going to work" in a while...
I decided I needed some coffee...

when I was teaching, I arrived at school by 7AM every day...
the years I taught music, I rarely left before 3:30 or 4...
often staying MUCH later, if I was counting money or preparing music...
the last few years, [English],I graded papers, did lesson plans, etc...
though I did sometimes leave at 2 PM...

as I've looked for work the last few years...
there have been several jobs that I thought that I could do well...
but it's never worked out, so I can only assume...
[yeah,yeah... I know, "when you assume..."]
that God has ,"other plans" for me...

there are a lot of things I could be doing around my home...
yard work, de-cluttering, minor maintenance...
probably a lot could just involve, "elbow grease"...
[though there are some more major repairs/maint. that would "cost"...]

I just have to get past the physical limitations...
and NOT overdo it, causing further physical problems...
but all journeys begin with a single step...
so I need to take that first step...
then then next and so on...

I've always tended to do things in intense groupings...
often leaving my body sore, stiff and in need of rest...
I just can't do that anymore...
or I end up in bed for a few days...

I have to admit that when I quit working for the district...
I was thoroughly exhausted and needed to do, "nothing" for a while...

I stopped wearing a watch, got up when I felt like it...
and threw myself into some home renovations...
that were really needed, but exhausted me yet again...

then there was the stress of the financial tailspin...
the fruitless, but taxing, job search...

at this point, much is still, "unsure"...
but I'm in a better place, spiritually, emotionally & mentally...
than I've been for a long time...

so maybe this has been God's point all along...

that if I stop filling my life with busyness & stress...
He will fill it with peace and the time to...
take care of all the things that need doing...

to exist more simply and begin to live completely dependent on Him...

sounds like a plan to me...

...getting back to normal [?]

2011-01-06T14:42:00.000-08:00

[of course, this depends on what you deem to be, "normal"...]

Piglet is starting to act like herself again...
making multiple trips to the "food court"...
[and complaining if it's more than 30 minutes old...]
climbing into my arms for petting, every chance she gets...
sleeping next to me & complaining if I move too much...
digging furiously in the cat box, litter flying everywhere...
and wanting to be, OUT...

she has managed to get on Fluff's last nerve...
by flopping down on top of her...
and insisting on the best vantage points...
as far as having my undivided attention goes...

Fluff had 2 days of me all to herself...
& isn't at all pleased with the renewed presence of Piglet...
but this too will pass and before we know it...
winter will turn into Spring, then summer...

Fluff will wile away the warm days in her nest...
unencumbered by the encroachments of "self-centered bullies"...
"who are spiteful, mean & nowhere near, respectful enough...
of the Queen of Everything, who is also, "Felinus emeritous"...
and stunningly beautiful, to boot"...

[the opinions expressed in the preceding statement...
are NOT necessarily those of the management...]

of course, Fluff will be so contented because Piglet will be...

outside, snoozing in the garden...

as much as I love winter, I can't wait...

...TEST RESULTS ARE IN!

2011-01-05T16:52:00.001-08:00

the test results came in...
and they are good!
no indications of kidney or liver failure...
almost all factors are well in normal ranges...
& the couple that are a bit high or low...
are explainable when you consider she was not eating enough...
and was dehydrated...

I got the news @ 3:30 when I returned to Mudville...
from a l-o-n-g day driving MsYB to "Browntown"...
(new governator for CA)...
the fog was THICK when we left at 8:30 AM...
the drive up I5 was not too bad...
but with the waiting, it was a long day for both of us...

I got back so late that I just went on over to the vet's...
Steph, the cheerful tech, asked if I got her message(I hadn't...)

since they were busy, they put me in a room to wait for the vet...
I checked my voice mail...
and there was her message that,
"Piglet is fine & good to go home..."

I was stunned...

so I waited... finally the vet came in with the printout of the test results...
explained them to me...
said there weren't really any critical issues...
since she was eating AND LOUDLY COMPLAINING TO GO HOME...
so they gave her a steroid shot...
and sent us home...
(I'll be back to pay the bill when I get my SS check at the end of the month...)

all the way home, she complained...
and as soon as we got into the bedroom...
she started demanding food...

she's now gone back for 3rds...
been out in the last sunshine for a bit...
visited the cat box twice...
bathed herself & climbed into my arms for snuggling...

I think Fluff would have been fine if she had never returned...
(Queen of Everything that she is...)
but I'm so grateful to have her back...
and so obviously feeling better...
even if she did call me every bad name she knows on the way home...
twice...
oops... back for 4ths...

God is good... even to snarfy cats...

...waiting for tests

2011-01-04T14:08:00.000-08:00

Piglet, posing on my bed a few years ago...
she sleeps cuddled up to me every night...
like a live, drooling, snoring, "stuffed animal"...
she's the only cat I've ever known who sleeps on my shoulder or arm...
though when she can get away with it...
she prefers my stomach...

usually awake with the dawn...

demanding to be, "out"... or to be petted... or fed...

or just to complain about the level of attention/ service...
that the "staff"[me] is providing to Herself...
or that Fluff has annoyed her, yet again.
or perhaps the dog is out in the back, so she can't be...

however, just in the last week, I noticed a change...

she became very "clingy", wanting to be held all the time...
and though she was eating, she was getting thin & dehydrated...
so yesterday, I took her in to the vet...
I figured the mouth lesions were back & she needed a steroid shot...

I even promised her that she'd be home, feeling better, soon...

"I don't see any lesions", the vet said...
"she doesn't have a fever & the dehydration is not good"...
"I'll have to do blood tests, but it's probably kidney or liver failure"...
so with a sick feeling in my stomach, I left her there...

as I write this, there is still about 2 hours before the tests come back...

my bed was so empty last night...
as were my lap & arms...
and it was hard to get to sleep without Herself...
drooling, making beds in my arm & then snoring, loudly...

Fluff enjoyed being,"Queen of the bedroom"...
but I'm having a hard time...

I hate watching my friends, "waste away"...
but at least, I get to prepare myself to say goodbye...
this unexpected kind of thing is so wrenching...
I can only hope for a bit more time with my friend...

but if she's in pain, it will be sooner rather than later...

here's hoping for good test results...
but it's all in God's hands now...

...Merry Christmas, all 12 Days of it, & a Happy New Year to all

2010-12-30T15:14:00.000-08:00

this is my favorite stained glass window in the church...
it's high up in the "tower"...

[seen here in context, in the tower, upper left side, eastern exposure...]

all the windows on the 3 sides of the tower honor women...
the other 8 are all similar in style and type of glass used...
but the "Madonna & Child" one is special...

besides being a more traditional style than the others...
it has a lot of deep blue, as well as red...
and the colors are so intense...
that they just don't capture well on film...
but they always take my breath away...

at this time of the year...
with another Christmas season rapidly moving ahead...
and yet another year coming to a close...
I find myself taking "stock"...
with a few surprises coming to my attention...

my financial situation is not at all settled...
I receive about 6-8 calls a day that I "ignore"...
handfuls of "mail" that I just put into an envelope, unread...
as well as e-mails that get filed, unread...

the only way that I can deal with this period of great uncertainty...
is to just give it all to God and not think about it...
reading the collection letters, talking to collectors on the phone...
[thus making my cell phone bill explode...]
solves no problems, makes me feel lousy...
and makes it difficult to just, "let it go"...

I'm doing what I can and leaving the rest to God to work out...

I'm quite aware that this sounds like an "ostrich" mentality...
but consider these points...

I have applied for modification of my first mortgage...
and have the bank's attention...
I have also applied for a modification of my second mortgage...
[which I am completely upside down in...]
and we'll see how that works out...

I am still paying[& using] a credit card for gas...
as well as a department store card with a small balance...
and an online bookstore card with a small credit limit...

AMEX, Discover, HSBC and another card...
alternately loathe and despise me one moment...
by having collection agencies threaten me...
with garnishment of my "wages"...
or seizure of my savings...
[good luck with that, since I have neither...]

or with the conciliatory missives that remind me...
"all the bad things will stop if you bring your account current"...
keeping my accounts "current"...
is the reason I no longer have savings for them to seize...

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course taught me a lot...
especially how credit cards deal with collections...
so even though my first choice would have been to have a job...
and pay off all those debts, I refuse to feel guilty anymore...

I spent a couple of years looking for work...
with all doors slammed in my face...
and when I had to miss those first payments...
because there was NO money, I was ashamed...

as I realized that I could become homeless quickly...
fear, shame and guilt ravaged my mind...
I came to the realization that I couldn't pretend anymore...
I was poor and things had to change...

finding a job seemed to not be an option...
so I was going to have to "pare down"...
"make do with less"...
and all those other clichés...

I have also come to realize that doing with less...
can be a good thing for someone who tends to be as self-involved as I am...
whereas someone younger might think...
"this is only temporary"...
I have had to change my lifestyle drastically...

having money gave me control...
not having money has shown me...
that God needed to have that control...

if I need it, He will provide it...
whether it's financial, physical or emotional...

an interesting incident in point...

things are always "tight" at the end of the month...
since I had some large expenses at the beginning of December...
this month was especially tight...
but... there was that first SSA benefit check...
due to appear in my checking account on Dec. 22...

and it did... so I went to the store with a list...
and was doing well until I realized that I needed Excedrin...
and finding it for almost the same as Wallyworld's low price...
I picked-up a couple of 200 ct bottles...
as well as a bottle of glucosamine, that was on sale...

so at the check-out, things cost more that I had figured...
and suddenly, there was a potential problem...
but only when my cell bill was paid and only about $5...
so I should have time to dig through my change jar & cover it...

the next day, on Christmas Eve morning...
I went to help decorate the church, I'm not in the Altar Guild...
but they were a few people short, so I went to help out...
before I left, Square Peg gave me a check I wasn't expecting...
an anonymous donor had left me a Christmas gratuity...

so I went across the street to WFB and deposited it...
discovering that the cell bill had come in early...
and though they were listed as,"pending"...
they had moved the less than $10 from my savings...
and showed me as "overdrawn"...[pending several transactions]

I had an e-mail notifying me of the deficit...
asking me to take care of it and that "fees" would be charged...

since the small check I had deposited brought my account, positive...
by about $15 and they usually charge at least $20 for overdrafts...
I was resigned to a bad situation becoming worse...
just told God to take care of it and forgot about it...

that is, until today,[6 days later], when I looked at my account online...

it showed no charges or withdrawals "pending"...
it showed nothing as having been "returned"...
it showed no overdraft charge...

there was a balance of $5.97 in checking...
and the $9.92 was back in savings...

oh... and there was a pending deposit of $493.62...
it usually comes in after the first, this month, it's early...

I have generally had good relations with WFB...
but this is a first...

so for those who may think that my reliance on God's provision...
is "pretending", wishful thinking, loss of reality...
or just plain silly...
think what you will...

as for me, I will say, with no hint of pretense...

"all is well..."

and go on my way, calm & assured in the goodness of God...

...winter skys in Mudville

2010-12-22T13:40:00.000-08:00

although there can be a lot of fog and gloomy dampness...
not to mention rain, enhancing our coziness this time of year...
it's not unusual for us to have moments like this...

the forecast for today, as well as the next several days...
is, "showers", with their attendant murky gloom...
which are often punctuated by periods of dazzling sunshine...
especially if the cloud cover is broken by winds aloft...

all it takes is a look around to see how quickly things can change...

the bright sun was to the south...
and to the northeast...

there's definitely snow falling in these hills...

skyscapes such as these make me wish...
that I could remove the urban clutter from the frame...
but cropping just doesn't "work"...
so I left the urban edges for perspective...

...seasonal foliage

2010-12-21T14:24:00.000-08:00

the poinsettia I'm trying to revive seems to be doing well...

unless you look at the back of it, that is...
so I'll take it to church on Friday, just in case...
they need a "filler" on the altar...
and just like that lop-sided tree that looks fine from one side...
it may still be able to "serve" with its bad side to the wall...
where no one will notice its deficiencies...

there's probably a life lesson in that, somewhere...

this is the survivor from the ones I took home last year...
but that was after Christmas,when they were almost gone...
this one made it through the summer on my front porch...
and with no special treatment, managed at least a couple of red bracks...

the Christmas cactii are blooming...
here you see the "salmon"one...
there are also dark red, traditional rose and a pale pink...

these begonias sat in 6 packs for quite a while...

finally, I planted them... they could have also been "tossed"...
they were that far gone...

after sulking for a month or so...
they have really grown and flourished...
providing another life lesson...

beyond not procrastinating, that is...

months ago, I saw these baby stag horn ferns at OSH...
but resisted temptation then...
when I was there the other day, I decided that if there was one left..
it was going home with me... and there was just one...
buried in with a bunch of more generic ferns...

my plan is to find a thick piece of cedar, about 6"x 8"...
make a pouch of some fiberglass screen I have...
line it with sphagnum moss to hold in the soil and roots...
and hang it on my front porch under the canvas awning...

they grow in the wild on the sides of trees...
and I once had one that was set-up on a piece of wood like that...

it's now mature and several years ago, I transplanted it into a basket...
it has had "pups" and there are now several in that group...
it loves the back yard, on the garage, shaded by an oak tree...

I went to OSH hoping to find a half flat of "johnny jump-ups"...
but though there were no half flats, the 6-packs were on sale...
so I bought 6 of them at about the same cost[$12.00]...
these are technically,"penny yellow jump-ups"...
and have 2 color variations...

this one that is more intense, like the "johnnies"...

and this one that is more pale...

in any case, they will flourish from now on...
having a growth spurt with the warmer weather...
blooming heavily all spring...
and as the heat starts to get to them in late spring...
I just move them back into more shadows...

until the extended heat of the summer finally gets them...
to be replaced by the portulacas that I just took out...
because the cold and damp got them...

Happy Winter Solstice everyone...

...hmmmmmm

2010-12-20T18:53:00.000-08:00

a month or so ago, when the prospect of singing a couple of pieces...
from our upcoming Renaissance group concert...
for the church that was allowing us to perform there for free...
first came up, I thought, "no problem"...

I really had to be there since we are only "4" at the moment...
and the pieces we were planning on singing have 4 parts...

but, since their service started at 11 AM...
and ours, which begins at 10 AM...
is usually finished by 11:15 at the latest...
I didn't see a real conflict...
the choir anthem at Offertory[the main event] was always done by 11...
and I could leave before Communion, with BLT in command...

anyway, that was the original plan...

then God decided to teach me a few things about trusting Him...
and leaving everything in His hands...
[not so easy for a "fixer", aka control freak, to do...]

I've had some experiences when I've been able to just, "let go & let God"...
some rather recently as a matter of fact, and quite amazing...
but there have been and will, unfortunately, continue to be, those times...
when, though I know better, fear will sneak in...
and before I realize that I'm trying to "fix it" myself again...
I will have taken control back and chaos will ensue...

the first note of fear was heard...
when I learned that the Bishop would be visiting us that Sunday...
not the best time to "leave early"...
oh, and he would be doing some confirmations then too...

now would be a good time to mention...
that I really enjoy our Bishop's sermons...
he has a delicious sense of humor and always has a timely message...
the only problem is, that he is rarely, if ever, "brief"...

I've never minded his lack of brevity before...
because he is not redundant...
and the message always leaves one with much "food for thought"...

but...

having him preach on the day that I needed to leave by 11 AM...
did not bode well for a graceful exit on my part...

one does NOT get up and walk out during a Bishop's sermon...
and... the sermon comes before the choral anthem...
with the confirmation ceremony coming after the sermon...
also before the choral anthem...

then I was told that on a visit to a nearby parish...
he had recently given a 42 minute sermon...
that's when that quiver of fear established itself...
in the pit of my stomach...

I was toast...

I was probably going to end up embarrassing both myself...
and our parish...
the pressure was building and there seemed to be no way out...

I tried to "fix it"...
by manipulating the performance time at the other church...
to be as late as possible and hoped to hear from Trumpetman...
that he had managed it, but his e-mail confirming the call time...
said, "see you at 11:15-ish"... RATS...
that meant that I had to leave by 11...
as it can take 10 minutes...
to get from my church downtown to the other church...
which is near my house...

about this point, I gave up...

I could hardly walk from the stress and hurt all over...

so I finally did what I should have done when this conflict arose...
I just gave it all to God to work out the details...

He'd been trying to get my attention...
as I had become, more & more stressed...
He reminded me of how L&C just, worked...
because I gave it completely to Him...
and trusted Him to do what was best for us...
according to His will...

how my financial tribulations were also being worked through...

then I heard Him remind me of how much I could mess up things...
if I insisted on trying to "fix" everything myself...
it's taken a lot of pain and aggravation...
[for myself, as well as others...]
to get me to realize that there are things...
that I just can't fix...
and shouldn't even try...

that's His job...

so I let Him have this mess...

as I became more calm...
my mind began to focus on what I needed to do...
I organized my concert folder...
flagging the 2 pieces we would sing...
I practiced the places that I kept stumbling over...
I went through my choir folder...
and made sure I had the anthem in it...

the anthem we were to do was in the L&C folder...
but since I would need to travel light...
I put it into the choir folder...
and left my bag in my car...
pocketing my cough drops...
I also planned to use a pew hymnal...
leaving mine in my bag...

I brought my blazer on a hanger...
[I might want to be more dressy...]
but left it in the car...
wearing my rain jacket as it was pouring Sunday morning...
I decided to park on the street by the south entrance...
as this would allow me to leave...
as unobtrusively as possible...

I would take my cassock & surplice with me...
so I hid my rain jacket under a cloth...
that was covering a rack of music stands in the vestibule...
planning to remove my vestments...
and grab my jacket on the way out...
[the vestibule is outside the sanctuary...
but still inside the church...]

so now I waited for the singers to arrive...

trying to remember to poll the choristers re Christmas Eve...
because I wouldn't see the choir before then...
and, since I had included in my prayer to God...
that we would have all the needed singers there...
both for Sunday and Christmas Eve...
in spite of the people who I knew would be MIA for both...
I just kept calmly reminding myself that,"all will be well"...

I asked BLT to conduct the anthem...
since I didn't know when I'd be leaving...
and it was only fair to let him do the rehearsal...
since he might have to conduct the anthem...

at this point, in walked Hummingbird & Basso[her hubby]...
who I hadn't expected to have present, so that was a good thing...

as I looked around...
I realized that there were only a couple of MIAs...
a soprano, a tenor & a bass...
but we had 3 sops, 2 alti, 2 tenors and 2 basses...
if even BLT was directing & I would be gone...

the numbers for Christmas Eve were also good...

so the service began and seemed to be moving along at a good pace...
and when the Bishop began to speak, it was only 10:15 !

it was another good sermon...
and it was only 20 minutes long...

then came the confirmations of 5 people...
which also went quickly and suddenly...
it was time for the choir anthem...
at 10:55...
pretty normal on a day that had promised to be anything, but...
so since he had rehearsed them, BLT directed...
and for the first time in over 3 years, I sang in the choir...

then I just turned around as the choir resumed their places...
and during the Doxology, walked out the south door...
pausing in the vestibule to remove the choir vestments...
and don my rain jacket...

I stepped outside to note that it was not raining at all...
I got into my car, & headed for the other church...
there was NO traffic at all and I hit EVERY green light...
[that has never happened before...]

almost before I knew it, I was pulling into the parking lot...
4 or 5 minutes, the quickest trip, ever...
but there was one unwelcome sight...
the church "board" advertised the service at 10:30...
not at 11 as we had been told...

as I joined Silversop walking towards the church...
we saw that the patio gate was unlocked and open...
and there was Trumpetman, waving us back to our warm-up room...
we went into the gym and sang through the Byrd a couple of times...
adjusting our standing positions and getting focused...

my voice was rough, though I'd been eating cough drops and swilling water...
so I asked God, who had been so faithful in working out all the details...
of getting me there, to heal the roughness in my voice...
& to allow me to do a good job...

we went into the sanctuary at the appointed time...
and sat in the first row while they took the offering...
as I sang the Doxology, the roughness in my voice was still there...
then we went up to sing...

have I mentioned that BOTH songs we were singing...
began with me alone...?

the first one with low notes which needed to be velvety...
had been anything but in warm-up...
the second one with, what should be, flute-like higher notes...
which had been very rough, all day...

Trumpetman gave me the starting pitch on his recorder...
then I opened my mouth and out came velvety low notes...
continuing throughout the entire piece without a crack, break or rough spot...
after the applause stopped, he gave me the pitch for the 2nd piece...

I took a breath, opened my mouth and out came the lively tune...
with a lighter, flute-like sound that continued to not break...
despite the presence of groups of higher notes throughout...
with not a "frog" or crack in the entire 2 pieces...

after the service...
we schmoozed a bit with the congregation...
finalized our dress rehearsal details...
then went on our merry ways...

as I made my way to my car...
through the now, resumed, rain...
I realized that I always used to feel...
such a great sense of relief...
when a stressful performance was over...

and that there was none of that here...

then it came to me that I didn't feel the relief...
because letting God handle it...
had taken away all the stress...

I had no release or let down...
because I had no stress or worry...
and I have to say...
that as good as "being done" always felt...

this was better...

no ups & downs... no anger or elation...
just an even keel...
a calm feeling of, that's done, what's next ?

it was a good feeling...

I looked at my clock when I started my car...
it was only 11:47 AM...

God is good, indeed...
and He's the One who can truly fix, every thing...

but we have to stay out of it...
and let Him have His way with it...

...raindrops on poinsettias

2010-12-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

the edge of the "big storm"[ooooo] that will bring wind...
and lots of rain over the next week is "misting"...

in the Chicagoland area, it would be frozen and, therefore, be sleet...
here, however, we are too close to SFBay and pretty much, "sea level"...
so we get "misting"...

much wetter and more insistent than fog...
and makes for photo-ops a-plenty...

everything living is loving the wetness...
our current weather status is,"fog"...
drippy, misting fog...
with the daily high of 48˚F...
which with the slight wind, feels like 45˚F...

when the storm hits, the temps will be in the low 50's...
because the heavy cloud cover holds in warmth...
however, should the winds reach the projected velocity...
along with heavy rains...
those mid 50's will feel much colder...

there's no danger of frost through Christmas...
due to this storm...
so all the developing lemons will have a good drink...
but no frost burn...

this is my current porch color spot...

the begonias are loving it and have thrived here...
the Christmas cactii, which were blooming in the back...
have been moved around to fill-in for the portulacas...
who finally gave up the ghost with the last frost...

I'm hoping to be able to find some Johnny Jump-ups soon...
for the big, permanent planters...
where currently the cactii reside in their own pots...
but cost will be a concern, so I'll have to keep an eye peeled...

and then there's the honored guest...
the poinsettia which was left over at the church...
got too dry and needed some TLC if it was to be on the alter for Christmas...
so I volunteered to bring it home and try to bring it back...

this was quite a pleasing development, the poinsettia that is...
I couldn't afford one this year...
and the bedraggled one that I rescued from the church last year...
survived the summer, but has only one red brack...

so this one gets TLC & I get to enjoy its festive color...
and it really seems quite happy where it is...

the misting rain & non-freezing temps as well as this light...
will get it stable enough to get through the stress of being indoors...
for a couple of weeks on the altar...[the 12 Days of Christmas]...
I'll bring it back to the church on Christmas Eve in the morning...
when I go to assist with the hanging of the greens...
and it will assume its rightful spot...
happy and healthy...

...the journey is officially, "under way"

2010-12-17T13:09:00.000-08:00

the day after I met with my HUD counselor...
and she informed me that she had just faxed...
my 1st mortgage modification application...
for the third time...
I got a form letter from WFB...

they thanked me for my "interest" in modifying my loan...
blah, blah, blah...
and then asked me to contact them with ALL the materials...
that have been submitted 3 times now, since 9/17/10...
[blah, blah, blah...]

I suspected that this was really bankspeak for...
"we are going to drag this out by confusing you"...
and, "we're hoping that you get frustrated...
so that we can continue to bleed you dry...
while we muddy the waters with requests for unneeded documents"...

well, the months of dreading the possibility of this process...
the pain of realizing that I had come to this place...
the really humiliating moments of telling a lawyer my situation...
and then contacting and finally meeting with the HUD counselor...

have toughened my resolve to trust in God...
and see this really unpleasant time, through...

on Dec.9, when I met with the HUD counselor...
and she told me that she had just submitted all my paperwork...
for the third time without any acknowledgement...
that they'd received it except the fax cover sheet on the last try...

the form letter I got yesterday was dated Dec.9...
so I guess the 3rd time was the charm...

I called my counselor to let her know what I had received...
and that I assumed that since I was dealing with the bank...
through them[the VHB HUD company]...
that I didn't need to respond to WFB in any way...

she affirmed my thoughts and said...
that I was correct in thinking that any phone calls...
or materials sent to them would only "muddy the waters"...
and allow them to stall longer...

so at least I know that WFB has my application...

and my counselor is sending a package to the holder of my 2nd...
who are threatening "foreclosure"...

but she has assured me that since the 2nd holders' claim...
is less than half of the first AND I'm upside down to both...
AND my only income are pension/SS payments that they can't garnish...
with no savings or assets they can seize...
there isn't much that they can do...

this also goes for the credit card companies...
who have now resorted to nasty letters from lawyers...
aka.collection agencies...
as well as the daily phone calls that leave voice messages...
which I delete without listening to...

but nothing can begin for me as a solution to them...
until my first is modified...
so I'm pleased that the process which should have begun in September...
has finally begun in December...

I'm told that it can take 4-6 months to modify a mortgage...

and, of course, all my paperwork that was current in September...
is a bit out of date in December...
but I did just resubmit income verification[pension pay stub]...
and bank records for Nov./Dec. for the 2nd package...
as well as the SSA "benefits payment" verification letter...
so at least that's available from the counselor...

we're to meet after the first of the year...
and see where we are then...

hopefully, there will be a happy ending...
sometime in the future...

but I must share that as daunting as this experience has been so far...
I have been able to find a sense of peace & calm in trusting God...
and though I know that there will be more scary moments ahead...
He will be with me, guiding my steps and holding my hand...

that His will for me, will prevail...
and that's enough for me...

God is Good, Indeed...

...more stuff I gotta do

2010-12-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

as I sit here in the conference room at the church office...
I look out of the windows, and though it's only 4:26 PM...
and the Winter Solstice is still more than a week away...
it is quite murky and dark outside...

to be fair, it's been showery and overcast all day...
but now, it's very nearly nightfall...
and as the hiss of vehicle tires on wet pavement...
blends with the roar of engines...
they create a Doppler effect as they pass by...

the red of tail lights and running lights gleam and blink...
like moving holiday decorations...
mixing with the street lights coming on...
as well as the outdoor signs of businesses...
that blink to life as the interior lights are extinguished...

I'm still here because I had some choir work to do...
and decided to write a post after doing a number of things...
since I need to do a bit more work, before I am "done"...
and wanted a sense of completion for this day...

to be fair, I did copy a bunch of statements & pay stubs...
for my meeting tomorrow at the HUD company about modifying my 2nd...
since they are threatening "foreclosure"...
if I don't pay them $2500 by tomorrow...
[good luck with that...]

the situation with the first mortgage holder is still in the first phases...
since my HUD counselor has now submitted my application for the 3rd time...

they lost the 1st set of papers and didn't respond to the 2nd set...
so she sent a 3rd set and is contacting a person at the bank...
who has been helpful with modifications in the past...

since I've never even been late with the first mortgage...
they won't foreclose...
and the 2nd mortgage holder can't foreclose if the first doesn't...
not to mention that I have no wages to garnish or savings to seize...
and that the value of my house is $50k upside-down to the 1st...
so the "worst" the 2nd can do is to put a lien on my property...

I just hope that the modification of the first goes through soon...
because I keep getting hate mail & phone calls from my creditors...

I had a scare when a letter from the SSAdmin...
referred to my first payment date as Jan. 26...
they had earlier said it would be Dec.22...
and I was counting on that payment, in December...

I made a phone calls, negotiated a menu, and spoke with a real person...
a local office person, here in Mudville[!!!]...
who checked for me & said that the Dec. date was correct...
what a relief... now I can pay the end of the month bills...

so tomorrow, I'll do my trash & chores at home...
then come down here to finish the choir paperwork...
I'll meet with my HUD counselor at 3...
and go to a Renaissance group rehearsal at 6:30 PM...

we have a concert on December 22...

and since there are only 4 singers at this time...
I'm quite busy practicing my vocal parts...
now that I've replaced the broken AC adapter for my keyboard...
[it cost $20, but got here quickly...]

then there are the alto & bass recorder parts...
I have to get my arthritic fingers to play...
as well as the sackbutt parts & trumpet fanfare...

oh... did I forget to mention the drum and the handbells...?

it now takes more effort to get all my instruments & equipment to rehearsals...
than I used to exert going to Symphony rehearsals with multiple instruments...
or brass quintet rehearsals/concerts that always used a lot of horns...
not to mention music stand, trumpet stands, etc...

but, it is fun music...
and there's no business like show business...

well, now, it's 5:14 PM...
and dead dark outside...

I'm going home to let Molly out...
and be called nasty names by Piglet...
who does NOT get to go outside after dark...
but believes that it is her right to be outside...
and will NOT go quietly into the evening...

...another Lessons & Carols in the books

2010-12-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

I took this picture during the dress rehearsal for L&C...
trying to capture the "Jesus shining" phenomenon...
that we have experienced at certain times of the year...
this is not the best I've seen...
but I hope that you can get the idea anyway...

when the light is just right, generally in late November-December...
around 10:30-11 AM, the Jesus in the window above the altar...
is in a beam of light that illuminates only Him...

I first noticed it during the dress for L&C in 2007...
when, as I was directing the choir for the first time...
I looked up to see, what I now know to be...
a really spectacular illuminated moment...
which I shared with the choir...

since then, I look for that moment...
anytime that I'm in the church at the right time of day...
during the right time of year...

if it's cloudy outside, the moment is not as stunning...
but if it is sunny, or at least sunny at the right time...
it can be a moment that takes your breath away...
much like the service of Lessons & Carols has become...

we think of it as a service, although it is the only time during the year...
that the choir does anything that even vaguely approaches a concert...
in as much as we prepare and present 9 anthems...
as well as sing a prelude, processional and recessional...

there is, however, no point at which the choir receives applause...

this year, as usual, we opened the service with the Matin Responses of Palestrina...
sung from the back of the church with tenor, baritone & boy soprano cantors...
we used to have some scary moments with this...
but we really know it now and this year, it was wonderful...

then accompanied by a tolling handbell...
we process up the center aisle...
singing the old hymn, "Creator of the Stars of Night"...
which along with the Palestrina and the recessional...
are a legacy from Dearest Dragonfly...

the 1st Reading is the creation of man, including the fall, from Genesis...
then follows an anthem...
[this pattern is followed through 9 Readings]...

our first anthem was the Boris Ord,"Adam Lay Ybounden"...
this year, sung in a very lively tempo...
the ancient text reminds us of the "fall"...
and how we were doomed until God sent His Son to us...
to take on our sins and return us to grace...

after the 2nd Reading, we sang Wm Byrd's,"O Magnum Mysterium"...
a hauntingly beautiful telling in Latin...
of the great mystery that God should come among us...
to be born in a stable, watched over by animals...
sung with great sensitivity by the choir...

the 3rd Anthem was Singh's arrangement of the old Latin hymn,"Personent Hodie"...
and speaks of proclaiming the "good news"...
it is a rather plaintive setting...
combining a Medieval sound with contemporary harmonies...

the choir does so well with unison sections in this style...
very smooth & blended, with the open harmonies of the part singing...
such a nice contrast to the smooth unison singing...

then came the 1st congregational hymn,"Comfort Ye, My People"

the 4th Reading speaks of "the child who will be conceived..."
and this year, we sang Natalie Sleeth's lovely, "Baby, What You Goin' to Be?"...
an anthem that asks the question so many have asked over the centuries...
"are you the chosen?... are you the one to save us from our sins?"...

this is a big favorite with both the congregation...
and the singers, who do it very well...

then came the 2nd congregational hymn, "Lo, How a Rose"...

our next anthem was Paul Manz's, "E'en So, Lord Jesus, Quickly Come"...
a more traditional choral selection...
which the choir sings with great sensitivity and heart...
with the singers using a more "trained" vocal placement...
but avoiding the heaviness that many singers approach such selections with...

following the reading of the Annunciation...
we sang a 4 part arrangement of Archadelt's 15th century tune...
with the Ave Maria text...

it is very plainsong-like and even though the music was secular in its' origin...
the 19th century addition of the Ave Maria text to the 15th century music...
is a wonderful match and the choir sings it beautifully...

Reading 7 speaks of the coming birth of the Savior...

this year, as in years past, we used a setting of a James Agee text...
["Knoxville, 1915", the "Sure on this Shining Night" section...]
we have done the haunting Samuel Barber setting in past years...
but last year, and this year also...
we have sung the, absolutely gorgeous setting by Morten Lauridsen...

it has quite a bit of fluid, unison male singing...
and our guys have such a blended, mellow & sweet, yet full, timbre...
very graceful and effortless sounding in their execution...
it's almost as if it was written just for them...
the ladies have some similar passages, which they do very well...
but this one belongs to the guys...
and their artistry puts large smiles on everyone's faces...

then came the final congregational hymn,"Savior of the Nations, Come"...

following the reading of the shepherds going to the manger...
we sang a contemporary arrangement of Holst's setting...
of Christina Rosetti's,"In the Bleak Midwinter"...
where the traditional tune gets some new harmonies...
as well as a dancing keyboard accompaniment...

there are unison sections in this selection also...
and once again, the choir shines in its' blended artistry...

the final reading, "of the great mystery of the incarnation"...
was followed this year, as it was 2 years ago...
by "A Silent, Holy Night"...

the Fetke setting of the traditional "Silent Night" text...
uses a contemporary tune with a lovely flute obbligato...
that is, at times reminiscent of the traditional Grüber tune...
and allows the choir's mastery of the contemporary style...
to be enjoyed by the assembly yet again...

after concluding prayers, we begin our recessional...
singing,"Once in Royal David's City"...

starting with an unaccompanied, treble soloist...
then adding the choir in parts for the 2nd verse...
and finally, as we begin to recess on the 3rd verse...
we add the organ and the congregation...
with a choral descant on the 6th & final verse...

it was a glorious service...

it seems that every year, the choir gets better...
so thanks to Dearest Dragonfly & Fr. Carioca...
who instituted this service several years ago...
and to all the singers...
who put their hearts, talents, efforts and love...
into this service every year...

but especially to the One, who is the reason we sing...

Deo sola gloria...
and so may it ever be...

...an abundance of kitty blessings

2010-12-02T15:16:00.000-08:00

I was at DP yesterday...
and considered buying a 16 lb bag of cat food...
the bin was rapidly becoming empty...
and the cold weather makes them hungry...

but it was several dollars more than it is at WW...
and I need to go there for litter soon anyway...
[it's nearly $2 more at DP, $3 at Raleys... each !]
so I followed the little voice that said,"wait"...
I got my 5 flats of Fluff food, a new bone for Molly & left...

all the canned & dry food I've been able to get from the church...
has really helped stretch the pet food budget...

the 6 flats of larger cans that should have only lasted until now...
have almost 4 flats left because of the other cans I've gotten...
and I have enough dry dog food for months...
I don't take the canned dog food... Molly doesn't really need it...
and it's good for them to have for walk-ins...

I find it quite interesting...
that we do get calls for dog food at our food pantry...
but not for cat food... not at all...
and of all the kinds of cat food out there...
that the kinds we get through donations...
are exactly the kinds my kitties need...

so today, as I contemplated my excursion to WW...
for litter, Excedrin and dry cat food...
I was surprised and happy to see new boxes of pet food donations...
sitting on the floor in front of the food pantry shelves...
since they usually come a couple of weeks later...

I don't need any dog food, so I checked-out the cat food...
and there were 2, 8 lb bags of exactly what I needed...
also several smaller bags of other dry food...
including one that I could feed to Fluff...

as well as a number of loose cans of their faves...
and... a 24 pack of their 3 favorite flavors...
the ones I get in the bigger cans...

this was a real blessing !

and the timing was quite appreciated too...

since I had just discovered that my bag of teas,etc...
for the choir, Lessons & Carols Dress rehearsal break...
[this Saturday...]
was NOT where I thought I had left it last year...
so now I need to spend $ on cups, tea, instant coffee, condiments, etc...

but since I now need to spend only about $60 at WW instead of $100...
[no cat or dog food needed & not as much litter as usual...]
I should be able to squeeze my budget and get the choir supplies...
[I have a bunch of teas at home...]

and just about the time that I'll run short of money, close to Christmas...
my first SS retirement benefit payment will arrive...

not a lot... only about half of what I should get...
but enough to keep me going...

God is good... and His timing is perfect...
as is His selection of kitty food...

...trying to let go, again

2010-11-30T16:07:00.000-08:00

I've found myself in some strange places...
especially since the financial ruin set in...
but none stranger than this...
because since the 6 phone calls from creditors on Sunday...
there have been none, zero, nada, zip...

which leaves me feeling a bit weary...
of what might be next...

this has been a bumpy path for the last 2 months especially...
with an average of 6 to 8 creditor calls a day...
from 4 or 5 different callers & I don't respond to them at all...
but they have persisted until now...
taking off Thanksgiving, but returning with gusto the next day...

due to several factors, I have become more isolated...
finding myself following harder and more lonely paths...
but this has forced me to see more of God...
leaning more on Him than myself or others...

finding the path I'm following a real test of my faith...
and a totally revamping of my priorities and values...

from time to time, I find myself at what appears to be an impasse...
with no way out, darkness & fear closing in...
and the searing pain of my numerous failures gnawing at my soul...
and then, I turn to Him...

trusting in His protection & guidance...
and the peace comes, wiping out the fear & pain...

a pathway that I had not seen there before...
is there...
no fanfare, or miraculous moments...
just quietly there...

and I continue...

today, I was prompted to remember my battle with cancer...
how safe I felt after I "embraced my fear"...

and the devotional reading for today spoke of embracing the cross...
how we must accept Christ's death as the central focus of our walk...
then we can embrace our own cross, our pain, fear and loneliness...
the same thought appeared in Fr Tb's sermon at midday mass...
in honor of St Andrew, who is depicted as embracing his own cross...

a random thought once...
but appearing 3 times in the space of 3 hours...
that's more like a message...
directly to me...

to embrace the pain of my mistakes in relationships and finances...
to accept the way things are with thankfulness for God's leading...
most assuredly to hope and pray for God's grace to heal the damage...
and to change me from within, into who I should be...

but then, I've thought that I was changing before...
and have been disappointed in myself & my return to bad habits...

only God can heal me and mend the problems that I've caused...
the question is, will I let Him...
can I stay out of the way, shut up & let go of what I want...
and accept what He gives...

joyfully, allowing my entire self to be transformed...

by His grace, I pray that I will...

...against all odds

2010-11-23T15:03:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of swimming upstream lately...
so God has been teaching me some new "strokes"...

He's been dealing with my control issues...
and tendencies to get stressed as to "where" & "how"...
all the issues of my existence that I have "entrusted" to Him...
will be resolved or dealt with...

the most daunting is the issue of money...

I realized months ago that the first week of December...
would require an lot of cash...
my 6 month car insurance premium [$440]
my car registration renewal [$149]
and my 1st installment property taxes [$738]
and I had no clue as to where the money would come from...

well, they say that God works in mysterious ways...
and I could have never imagined the scenario that has unfolded...
in order for these needs to be met...
[and it's not even Thanksgiving yet...]

some of this is recap, so bear with me...

last month, I received a new card for a credit card...
that I hadn't used in a long time...
it has a $500 limit, so I activated it...
when I went to the DMV site online...
I discovered that I could use it to renew my registration...
so I did... which solved part of the problem...

encouraged...

I did some reading of my car insurance premium notice...
and discovered that there was a monthly payment plan...
WITHOUT an installment fee of $5 per month...
IF I set-up auto-payments...
so I did that too...

another problem solved...

also in October...

I went for my bi-annual cleaning/check-up at the dentist...
only to discover that their method of billing has changed...
meaning that my long-held, and now paid for by me, dental insurance...
was no longer cost-effective...

it used to cover all check-ups & cleaning completely...
now, only about 50%...

the dentist forgave me the $106 that was now a co-pay...
but it got me thinking that since my next appointment/cleaning...
wasn't until April and I was "paid-up with the insurance until March...
maybe I could cancel and get a refund...

so that's what I did...
[I'm not going to have it anymore either...
saving the $680 payment due in March...]

of course, it takes a month to cancel...
then they send a check, etc., etc., etc...
so I've been waiting & watching the mail...
because it's been really wet...
and lately, the carrier has been putting it on the wet doormat...
instead of in the mailbox, leaving me with a soggy mess...

so yesterday, I was thrilled to find the check...
in the mailbox, nice & dry, in plenty of time...

also in the mailbox was a notice from my homeowners insurance...

I'd been told that they would pull a payment of $64 in November...
[I had set-up auto-pay with them...
to avoid a similar monthly installment fee...]
the surprise was that they would pull the first payment in December...
so that meant that the $64 sitting my checking account...
earmarked for insurance could now go towards the property taxes...

I deposited the insurance refund in the bank on the way to the church...
while I was there, I was given a check for $500...
a refund for my Columbarium niche...

if you're keeping score, I now have $500, $171 & $64 towards the $738...
only $3 short, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet...

I believed that He was going to provide for those big expenses...
over $1300...

I could have never guessed or even figured out how...

God is good, indeed...

...a chill in the air & giving thanks

2010-11-22T12:11:00.000-08:00

Charlie in front of a "snuggy" fire...

there's a "freeze watch" for tomorrow night through Turkey Day morning...

in this area, probably won't get much below 29-31˚F...
I don't worry until we dip into the lower 20's...
or stay there for a few days...
then I make sure that the lemon tree is covered...

if it comes close to the teens...
I wrap pipes...

I guess it's time for snuggy fires again...
since the showers expected today and tomorrow...
will make the wind-chill drop...
at least I have firewood inside already...

I remember one Thanksgiving in Chicagoland...
where it was cold with 3 feet of snow on the ground...
Thanksgiving in NorCal is generally sunny...
full of fall color as I'd drive "home"...

it's been 6 years since I had Thanksgiving on the ranch...
4 years since I got to have it with Mom...
family Thanksgivings were rarely pleasant when I was a kid...
after Dad died & it was just Mom and me, things were better...

Mom's turkey dinners were really good...
and I miss them, but not as much as I miss her...

it's been 2 years since I had a turkey dinner...
it's really a lot of trouble to go to for just me...
even though my furry friends always get their share...
and since I've been fighting various allergies, etc...
I don't have much of an appetite this year anyway...

but it's not really about the food...
as much as having people that you care about to share it...
and all your thankfulness for God's blessings, with...
and I seem to be in a different place these days...

a place where I'm very grateful for all the many blessings...
and the changes happening in my life...
as well as the sure knowledge that God has it all in His control...
so I'll be content, and thankful, for where I am this year...

remembering some wonderful holidays past...
thankful for those I shared them with...
grateful for God's love shown to me by others...
and looking ahead for "what's next"...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone !

...fall musings

2010-11-18T12:24:00.000-08:00

it really is looking like fall now...

we've had a few nights into the 30's...
along with several periods of rain...
we even had a dense fog advisory this AM...
and there's a chill in the night air...

the lobelia is still happy...
[this bunch self-seeded from last year...]

the tomatoes are soaking-up the last really sunny days...

and the begonias I thought wouldn't make it...
are doing very well, indeed...

the trumpet vine has finally yellowed...
and will loose all its leaves with the next storm...

the southern-facing creeper is bare now...
sporting only red branches with the dark blue berries...
which the birds enjoy...

this branch of creeper is on my porch, so it's protected...
but it's fading fast too...

when I checked my pomegranates...
I discovered that rats had beaten me to most of them...
leaving several hollowed-out shells hanging on the tree...
I did get 4 that they hadn't gotten to yet...
but the score is rats 8, catsinger 4...

the score for apples was worse...

here you see an "apple core corpse"...
there was no sign at all of any of the rest of the 4 apples...
[rats 5, catsinger 0]

they got all of my peaches and cherries this year too...

the winter whites are coming up...
if I move them to the front...
they may bloom...
they generally don't bloom in the shady back yard...

the Christmas cactii are already blooming...
I'll move them in front soon...

the camelia buds are forming...

new wild violets are coming up...

and the last of the summer roses turn to the sun...
while they still can, as do we all...
for the cold and darkness will come very soon...
and we need to soak up as much of the warmth and the light...
as we can, to see us through until spring...

...some light from ahead

2010-11-12T13:58:00.000-08:00

I've been traveling up/down a twisting road for several years now...
and there have been both, "ups" & "downs" aplenty...

sometimes the way is shrouded in a mist or dark with danger...
and the fear & stress zap me, big time...
sometimes there is more light, ahead, and I feel more secure...
but always, the end is nowhere in sight...

moments of stress and fear for the outcome...
can turn into calm & peace as I learn to let go and trust Him...
and though the stench of sulphur in the air...
doesn't always dissipate quickly or completely...

the more I trust, the less I smell it...
and the quicker I can deal with expelling it...
regaining the calm center of trust that I need to keep...
to allow God to have His will be done...

I've been concerned lately with some large bills...
[property taxes, car registration renewal, car insurance 6 mo. renewal]
all due in early December, [2nd,8th & 10th]...

I've also been finally "caught up with" by my 2nd mortgage holder...
they sent me a registered letter, which I responded to...
but the next day, they left a letter taped to my front door...
and last night, their representative made a second appearance at my door...

he was an older man, [my age], wearing a tie and was very kind...
he listened as I explained some of my situation...
I told him that I wasn't answering the phone calls...
because I only had a limited number of minutes & couldn't afford large bills...

that I was working with a HUD agency to try & modify my 1st mortgage...
but that it hadn't gone through yet...
and that I had a call into them re the 2nd mortgage holder...
that I had spent ALL my savings paying my bills while looking for work...
work I still haven't found...
that my pension didn't cover both mortgage payments...
and that I had no funds to pay the 2nd mortgage holder...
or the credit card companies...

...all true...

I didn't mention the words, "lawyer" or "bankruptcy"...
both the lawyer AND the HUD people have advised me...
that I should volunteer as little of that kind of information as possible...

so the very nice man, who was sympathetic to my situation...
said that he would inform the 2nd mortgage holder of my situation...

I alluded that when I contacted the HUD agency again...
I would discuss the possibility of trying to modify the 2nd...
but that I had been told to do one thing at a time...
[which is true...]

the lawyer has advised me against modifying the 2nd...
and to put it into the bankruptcy action...
but if the 2nd mortgage holder would significantly reduce the principal...
really lower the interest, thus cutting the payment drastically...
I might consider it, if I could swing it financially...

I'm really just stalling for time...
hoping the modification on the 1st mortgage goes through...
and soon...

the elephant in the room is that the total amount that I'm upside down...
in the 1st & 2nd together...
is equal to the current value of my house...
so including the 2nd in the bankruptcy may be my only choice...

but the timing is critical...

and the path for this part of the journey is still obscured...
as is the timing, out of my hands...
I'm just glad that God is in charge...

along other fronts...

it has been my experience that when God is truly working things out for me...
that things just seem to fall into place... out of the blue...
beyond anything that I could engineer or manipulate...
so I consider the appearance of this very nice & sympathetic man...
from the bank, that I needed to make contact with but had to control information to...
on my doorstep, making non-threatening contact with me...
to be one of those organic works of God...

it has allowed me to release some built-up anxiety that I wasn't aware of...

so this morning, after balancing my checking account...
I felt it was time to look at some of these impending bills...

I had heard back from the Social Security Administration...
the morning after I applied for benefits and will start receiving payments...
on December 22... for a whole $228... not the $540 I was due...

they deducted my CalSTRS pension & arrived at the $228...
I suppose I should be grateful for that...
most of my retired teacher friends get nothing...
but then they get more from CalSTRS as they worked longer...

so I knew that I wouldn't have a timely payment from SS...
to help out with the BIG, early December bills...
the first of which was the 6 month car insurance renewal...
$446 due on December 2, 2010...

I read the back of my car insurance bill...
and learned something useful in the small print...

I could pay on a monthly payment plan...
which I had been avoiding due to the installment fees charged...
without being charged an installment fee...
IF I was enrolled in the auto-pay program...

I have been in the auto-pay program for a while...
but for a 4 month[$112 per/mo] payment plan...
which I would "trump" by paying the full amount...
to avoid any installment fees...
but neither of those plans, suit my situation at this time...
and whereas their website allows me to change my payment method...
it does NOT allow me to change the payment plan...

so after changing my payment method back to my checking account...
[from the credit card that now hates me and has "suspended" my account...]
I called the 800 number, attempted to speak to a computerized menu...
waited through a number of annoying "prompts & ads"...
mostly telling me how I could do everything, "online"...

then finally spoke to a nice young man...
who changed my payment plan to a monthly one[$75per/mo]...

there would be NO installment fee...

then I went back to my online banking & transferred money...
so my payment of $75 on 11/17 would be funded...

having done that, I no longer had enough money left in savings...
to pay the $149 car registration renewal due on Dec.8, 2010...
so I went online to the DMV site...
and found that I could use a credit card to pay the renewal fee...

however, even though I had just gotten a new card from B&N...
with a $500 credit limit and I had owed them zero for a long time...
I had stopped using that card because even though I had credit...
they would often decline it...

but I figured, nothing ventured, nothing gained...
so I entered in the credit card info on the renewal page...
and it was accepted !!!

so now, as opposed to a couple of days ago...

I have taken care of both the car insurance issue...
AND the registration renewal issue...
have made contact with the 2nd mortgage holder...
and found out that the B&N credit card does work !

of course, there are still the property taxes due on 12/10/10...
and the new monthly expenses for the car insurance premium...
and the credit card I used...
but there's also the SS benefit of $228...

and hope for a speedy resolution to the mortgage modification situation...
with the attendant bankruptcy issues...

there seems to be light around the bend...
God is good...

...seek & you shall find

2010-11-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

December is rapidly approaching...

for many, the expense of holiday gift-giving or feasting, looms large...
for me, it's the specter of property taxes, car registration renewal...
and the 6 month car insurance premium...

all due within the first 10 days of December...
[not to mention a 55K maintenance on my car...
the cost of which I can't even consider at this point...]

so I've been "hunting"...
for ways to accumulate enough cash to take care of these bills...
[totaling about $1400.00...]
and still have money for cat & dog food...
not to mention, "me" food...

today at the church, I was given more dog & cat food...
a new supply had just come in... both canned & dry cat food...
as well as dry dog food... and it's exactly what they eat...
so since I had just got "Fluff food" & litter...
that problem is solved for a while...

I cancelled my paid-up to March, dental insurance...
the refund will be $170.00...
I'll get a check in a couple of weeks...
it's no longer cost effective...
and the idea to cancel & cash out, "just came to me..."

that will take care of the car registration renewal...

but for the rest, I'll have to "dig deeper"...

I called the guy who worked on my professional musical instruments...
and has sold many of them on consignment since I retired from the symphony...
he may owe me for some bells & will get back to me if he does...
he said he did a while back & I have gotten no check from him since...

I could sell back the columbarum niche I bought at the church...
that was $500... I hope I won't need that anytime soon...

I do have a credit card with no balance...
and a $500 limit which I could use for the insurance premium...
but that's my,"emergency in the middle of the night" card...
[ie, emergency vet, medical co-pays, etc...]

I have applied for Social Security benefits...
I am vested into the system...
and my estimated monthly benefit would be about $500.00...
though retired teachers always get less than what they've earned...
if anything at all...
due to the state teachers retirement system payments...

but mine is low... so perhaps I'll get something useful from the government...

at this point, I'm investigating all possibilities...

I have a jar of change to count & cash in...
also a few old "silver certificates"...
and then there's the ring I wore for many years...
yellow gold with 5 diamonds, [cost $1500]
it's too big now... I might sell it if I can get a decent price for it...

not much else to sell that's worth much...
but I believe that God will provide me with the money I need...

I just have to find it...

...trees on fire

2010-11-08T12:46:00.000-08:00

the bank parking lot across the street is aflame...

the recent cooler temps have lit similar fires all around Mudville...

I love fall...

...grace under pressure

2010-11-04T13:31:00.000-07:00

I must be on the right path...
because the enemy is really trying to trip me up...

focusing my attention away from the extreme calm I've been feeling...
letting little annoyances and physical pain, that I have no real control over...
get to me, cause me to lose my temper...
and destroy my sense of peace...

or maybe I'm just being taught to be "calm"...
no matter how I feel or what happens...
and how to find that calm again when it seems to have slipped away...
or has just plain vanished due to my anger or lousy attitude...
by concentrating on trusting in Him & His plans for me...

because, God is Good... all the time...

...another nice surprise

2010-11-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

my only tomato plant has produced golf ball size fruit all summer...
[I'm planning to use some in a salad tonight...]
it sits on my front walk, in full sun...
next to the lemon tree...

and as you can see, early November finds it...
apparently on it's "last legs"...
what with the mini heat spell that crisped it...
and the passing "cool" snap & rains that pelted it...

the remaining green fruit has been scarred by wind-blown debris...
and one small fruit has rot on it...
here in the best sun, I may be able to let the rest vine ripen...
unless there's a hard frost...
in which case I may try moving the entire plant, indoors...
quite a different concept for me...
but this variety is intended to be a "counter-top" plant...

I just have to find the right light for it...

the fact that I'm considering moving it inside...
is motivated by not only by my curiosity to see if I can keep it alive...
but by the fact that it seems to want to keep producing fruit...

there are new leaves sprouting...

also blossom buds have re-appeared...
these are closed tightly...

but these have opened...

and every tomato grower knows that it takes warm nights to set fruit...
which are non-existent now, outside...
but could be "simulated" inside...

it's a mystery to me that this blossom seems to have set a fruit...
despite all odds being against its doing so...
so I think that I'll go find a sunny spot in my LR window for it...
and see what happens...

...our tax dollars at work [?]

2010-11-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

I have voted by mail for years...

when I taught, it was just simpler...
no obscure garage/polling places to find in the dark...
no rushing to fit voting in between school & rehearsals...
no forgetting, then feeling bad...

so when I got the letter from the SJ County election office in September...
the one detailing how my precinct no longer had enough registered voters...
who actually came to the polling place to vote...
and that consequently, we would all have to vote by mail this year...

it made no difference to me...

when the ballot arrived, I sifted past the usual enclosures...
to get to what I had to actually fill-out...

there was this card, next to the envelope...

which I'd seen many times before...
and had even read a few times...

I turned it over & glanced at the back side...
but as I was about to toss it...
something caught my eye...

a bureaucrat with a sense of humor...
who would have thought it possible...

BTW: I would happily vote for any or all of the above...
before just about any professional politician...

[nota bene] if you aren't old enough to know about Mortimer Snerd...
he was the idiot foil to Charley MacCarthys' wise guy...
they were both "dummies" used by ventriloquist Edgar Bergan...
[Candice's father...] in his 1940's/'50's radio/TV act...

Bullwinkle J. Moose was "pulling rabbits out of his hat..."
to amuse Rocky[Rocket J. Squirrel]...
and confound Boris & Natasha [cartoon spies...]
on the "Rocky & Bullwinkle Show" of my youth...
[that would be the 1950's/early '60's]

if you are not quite as old as dirt [or me...]
you may remember Lily Tomlin's character, "Geraldine"...
the telephone operator with attitude on "Laugh-In" from the '60's...
and her signature,"...one ringy-dingy..."

if you don't know who[or what] Sponge Bob is...
you had to have someone else turn on your computer...
and find this blog...

...ooo, a severe weather alert !!!

2010-10-23T00:17:00.000-07:00

my daily weather check on my pda revealed this startling news Friday...
there is a "severe weather watch" in effect through the weekend...
as several fronts, which will grow in strength, make it through our area...

I'm NOT building an ark...
or collecting canned goods anytime soon...

these warnings always lead us to believe that Mother Nature...
is pissed... and about to exact deadly vengeance on us all...

that there will be "walls of water"...
[maybe .75 of an inch in our area !!!]
and that we needed to know this severe weather was on the way...
so we could be prepared...

well, they've "cried wolf" too often...

in the first place, .75 inches of rain is NOT severe weather...
unless you have NO shelter and are allergic to rain...
and in the second place, most of the time these, "warnings" amount to nothing...
going north or south of us...
or just plain, fizzling out without producing much rain at all...

I lived in Chicagoland for 5 years[1973-8]...

they had REAL severe weather alerts...
not to mention REAL severe weather...
the kind that you HAD to respect...

tornadoes... thunderstorms... downpours...
4 inches of rain in an hour...

and BLIZZARDS... real white-outs...
26 inches of snow... in 24 hours...
[on May 2...]

not to mention the 2 weeks in January when it was -20˚F...
all day... for at least 10 days...
each year of the 5 that I lived there...

then came the "January thaw"...
when the temp finally got up to zero...
& people took off their heavy coats...
at 25˚, they wore shorts...

oh, it was often "raw" into May...
sleet, howling winds & "sideways" rain...
but never again, -20˚ F after the January thaw...

so don't tease me with your lame NorCal "severe weather alerts"...

I'm NOT buying it...

now a "severe foot watch"...

that would get my attention...

...better than the alternative

2010-10-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

well that day is here again, sigh...
not that I'm really complaining...
because having another birthday is always better...
than NOT having one...

it's just that I'm increasingly aware of "milestones"...

when I was a kid, there were always milestones to reach...
and you "couldn't wait"...

to be 10, 13, 16, 18, 21...
and to receive the privileges that being 16[whatever] afforded...

and there are the "big" birthdays...
30... 40... 50... 55... 60...

and this year's number, 62...

now I can apply for Social Security benefits...
at 65, I get to apply for Medicare...

somehow, it's not as much fun or nearly as cool, as it was...
to get to ride my bike on the road [10]...
become a teenager [13]...
get my driver's license [16]...
buy cigarettes [18]...
buy alcohol and vote [21]...
[yes, I'm THAT old, I couldn't vote until I was 21...]

and as grateful as I am for every day of my life...
the milestones that I now face...
create more apprehension than excitement...

but I know that God has plans for me...
and I do look forward to finding out what they are...
so I am grateful for all the days and years I've had...
as well as those left to me...

so I think that I'll get some change from my change jar...
and go get myself a birthday cake...
[Raley's has 2 layer cakes on sale for $9.99...
as well as pork roast for $.97 lb...]

let the feasting begin!

...a gentle fall rain

2010-10-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

the heat spell of 90 degree days has finally broken...

after some unusually muggy days and a "teaser" sprinkle...
that barely got beyond the drops on the sidewalk phase...
we've had our first gentle, but steady, rain of the season...

I smelled the rain during the church service on Sunday...

and sure enough, it rained lightly but steadily the rest of the day...
washing the summer dust and heat away...

the nighttime temps have dropped now to the point of having windows closed...
any night now, we'll drop into the 40's...
and start only warming to the 60's during the day...
that's when I start my furnace and the remaining leaves will turn fast...

we are expecting rain showers over the weekend...
but no winter storms yet...
which is fine with me...
'cause I'd like to enjoy some fall color...
before the storms blow all the leaves away...

...more fall goodness

2010-10-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

the last of the tomato blooms have set...

the remaining creeper leaves are turning...

some dried-up leaves retain color...

while some leaves are just beginning to turn...

most are red, but some turn orange...

and the ripening berries attract lots of birds...

some remain muted...

even in death...


then there's the threadleaf Japanese maple on the front porch...

and when the apples get color, they're almost ripe...

the pomegranates are coloring up now too...

and the lilac from the ranch that almost died, has revived with some watering...

but I believe that this maidenhair fern that was Mom's and Grandma's, is the happiest flora in the yard... I love fall...

...seasonal twitches

2010-10-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

my neighbor to the north's Halloween frenzy began Oct.1...

I posted this shot a few days ago...

this is a detail...

as is this...

they've been "adding"...
and last night when I got home from a Ren. group rehearsal...
I took this shot...

to help give some perspective to my claims...
of a bedroom that felt like the inside of a jack o'lantern...

but still, it is October...
and it's the season for this kind of decoration...

however, in my humble opinion, there is just no excuse for this...

which is what greeted me in my local OSH yesterday...
ARGH....

...and now, a Public Servic Announcement

2010-10-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

it's getting to be that time of year again...

when getting something "nasty" can be impossible to avoid...

the aforementioned, "something nasty"...

there are "colds"...
and then there's the flu...
when you are doomed to about 2 weeks of misery...
no matter how busy you are or how much you tried to avoid it...

of course, doing the "right things" can help...
but if you are around certain people...
[we all know who they are, though they don't see it...
they get sick, then spread it around...
because they won't just stay home...
unintentionally spreading illnesses to many...
who otherwise, might have avoided getting sick altogether...]

I started getting flu shots[and pneumonia shots...]
after I began my teaching career and got really sick a few times...
so every year, about this time, I go searching...
for a flu shot clinic, usually at a grocery store...
'cause then I only have to pay for the flu shot...
not the deductible for the Dr's office visit...

this year, money is very tight...

so as I contemplated trying to find the flu shot money...
in my change jar or by pawning something...
I received a birthday card from some friends at church...
it also contained a grocery store cash card...
which I'm sure that they intended for groceries...
but I quickly saw other possibilities for...
since it was the almost the amount I needed for the flu shot...

the shot had been $20-25 the last few years at Raley's...
and their flu shot clinic was to be today/tomorrow...
but their advertised cost was now $28[for both strains of flu in one shot...]
Wallyworld was advertising "walk-in" shots for $29.99...
so I decided to check-out SMart since I now had a $25 gift card for them...

there are a number SMart stores around Mudville...
since they bought out both Luckys & Albertsons several years ago...
so I went to the biggest one I could think of...
looking for an "in-house" pharmacy...
[they only give the flu shots in their pharmacies...]

there they told me that they didn't have a pharmacy...
and the customer service person suggested I go to Rite Aid...

as I was turning to leave, a customer, several aisles away at a register...
told me which SMart in town had a pharmacy & where they were...
so I went over there, got lost, finally found it...
went to the pharmacy and asked how much their flu shots were...
and could I use the gift card to pay for it ?

after being told that the shot was $28.95 and yes...
I filled-out paperwork...

the manager of the pharmacy was actually a Dr...
and I didn't feel the shot at all...
[most clinicians I've been inoculated by have been pretty heavy handed...
he was very gentle...]

they swiped my gift card...
then asked for $1.09...

it turns out that the price was really only $26.09...
they lowest price I've seen...
and I didn't have to wait at all...
though by the time I was done, there was a long line at the counter...

I swung by the meat counter as they had cross rib roast advertised at $1.99 lb...

they had 2 smaller roasts[2.5 lb each] which I bought...
then I picked-up almost 4 lbs of ground chuck at $2.49 lb...
which was also reduced another $.50 for a quick sale...

it should be noted that most of the other packages of grnd chk...
were $2.99 for the "Max-Paks" and $3.49 for smaller sizes...

it had been $2.49 last week and the package I got was from then...
the current prices are $2.99/$3.49...
[it's not unusual for them to have "last weeks sale prices" on things...
so I always check for it when I'm there...]

so for about $19, I got a good supply of meat for the freezer...
as well as a low cost flu shot...

all in all, a pretty good day !

...signs of the season[?]

2010-10-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

it's still "too warm" to suit me...
[low 90's as the highs, no real marine layer intrusion overnight...]
and the leaf turn has been halted...

while there are a few with enough moisture retained to stay green...
or turn colors and remain attached to the vine or tree...

there is a lot of this...
dried-up, dead leaves, even though a few still hang on...
this is NOT a shot of the ground...
this is on the side of my house...

and then there's this...

my neighbor to the north

it started in late September...
and keeps "growing"... like "Topsey"...

they didn't do much last year...
so I guess they're making up for it this year...
FYI: the mini lights overhead are orange...
they cris-cross most of the the yard...
about 8 ft high and stay on all night...
creating an interesting glow in my bedroom...

another reason that I can't wait for the night-time temps to drop...
so I can close the window AND the blinds...

currently...

I feel as though I'm trying to sleep inside of a lit jack o'lantern...

in the meantime, I'm "going with the flow"...

...this is more like it

2010-10-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

the blast of summer heat that dessicated leaves...
and everything else for the last week, plus...
leaving all living things limp & tired...
was blown out by today's strong breezes & scudding clouds...
all that's left of yesterday's muggy threat of thunderstorms...

there are still hopes for some bright creeper color to come...

but the drying heat took a terrible toll...

and the cooling wind has also cleared out much that had turned...
as well as the dried & withered victims of the heat spell...

the good news is that many trees are still quite green...
or like the trumpet vine, just beginning to turn...

my ferns have enjoyed the relatively cool summer...
and are flourishing in the shady back yard...

where a half dozen or so apples are ripening...
I'll have to keep an eye on them if I want any...
the critters got all of my cherries & peaches this year...

there are 6 or 7 pomegranates, high up, close to the fence...
which are still quite green...
they'll probably need at least a month to ripen...
but there was one that needed picking that I could reach...

once they split, and this one was in the direct sun...
they will mold in cooler, damp weather...
and our nighttime lows are heading towards the lower 50's...
maybe even the upper 40's over the next 10 days or so...

so I picked it...

it's not sweet, but it sure looks good...

...more little things along the way

2010-10-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

the blast of heat, hopefully the last of the summer...
has abated, leaving us with much more seasonal temps for early October...
everything is now quite dry and wilted...
but I still hope for a colorful fall...

I'm still in "wait" mode on the mortgage modification...
and all else financial must wait on that move...

while waiting, I have had a few "events"...

some of which I don't see the reasons for...
others, I can see the good within, even as it happens...

for example...

I thought that I had cancelled all auto credit card payments...
then one went through, nearly wiping out my checking account balance...
I did notice it right away and was able to hold off spending money...
until I earned some driving MzYBee to Ahnoldtown...
which I was able to deposit before anything bad happened...

then there was the school district health insurance premium payment...
which can be as late as the 5th of the month...
[they pay to me, their share, until I'm 65...
as the entire premium is taken out of my pension payment...]

it appeared in my checking account on Sept. 30, several days early !

and my pension payment not only arrived on Oct. 1...
it was a bit more than normal...
not too unusual, just a dividend...
so I was feeling pretty good...

until I opened my homeowners insurance statement...
asking for an October payment of over $200...

over a month ago, I had re-instated auto pay...
to avoid this balloon payment, a monthly $10 fee...
and to spread out my payments over the entire year...
lowering them significantly to about $58 p/mo...

so I called my agent, who called me back right away...

the auto-pay had just gone through, Sept.30...
so my next payment of $64 would be due in December [!]

no payment this month or next...
then the auto-pay would kick-in from December on...
at a few $ more than I had anticipated...
but I can live with it...

especially since I don't have to pay for the next 2 months...

which will come in quite handy...
seeing that I just paid the final home phone bill...
and the final ADT bill...
and today, I have "paid bills", transferred $100 to savings...
will get my hair cut & buy cat food, litter, groceries...
and choir supplies [water, cough drops & food for rehearsal]

I did get quite a nice donation from various choir members...
which will go a long ways towards paying for much of it...

and then I have $175 to last the month...
[I hope nobody gets sick...]

but I'm hopeful, 'cause so far, things are working out...

God is good, He supplies all our needs...

...happy 2nd dogiversary to Molly & us

2010-10-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

Molly, as she appeared in MM's post, late Sept. 2008

it's hard to believe that it was only 2 years ago today...
that I brought Molly home for "a brief stay"...
that turned into "long-term" quite quickly...
after it became clear that both she & the kitties...
could "cohabitate", quite well, thank you very much...

when the Greenthumbs rescued her...
she was pregnant, very thin, but hopeful of finding her place...

a trip to the vet took care of the pregnancy...
a fondness for pig's ears took care of the thinness, and then some...
and God took care of the rest...

with her favorite treat, after her "operation", November 2008

in the past 2 years, we've lost 5 of the kitties...
Gracie, Frick, Creamer, Mattie & Thomas are gone...

Molly still tries to play chase with Mack & Sneaky Pie...
who are having none of it...
especially from a canine who swipes their food at every chance...
has been known to nose about the cat box...
and "hog" the best "perch" in the front window...

Lucyfur & Sneaky Pie will swat at her when she "noses" them...
so she yips at them from either her nest or crate...
especially, if she has a tasty bone to gnaw...
or other cherished treasure to guard...
& a feline has the temerity to come too close...

the others just give her a wide berth...
when she has a goodie to gnaw on...
but she will bark at most passing felines...
when she's "at home"[in her crate]...

*just because*

she also "alerts" me to the presence of anyone at the door...
as well as anyone across the street, especially with a dog in tow...
prowling felines, swooping birdies and sometimes...
[or so it seems...] the wind blowing...

not too long ago, enjoying a freshly cleaned rug...

there are now, several large, LOUD dogs in the area...
and when Molly hears any of them barking...
especially when she's outside...
she always joins in... LOUDLY... BOISTEROUSLY...
when inside and she sees something...
she not only barks loudly, but she goes ballistic...

jumping around, "attacking" the interloper...
by going after the window where the image appears...
things stacked in the way deter her only slightly...
mostly, I just come to where she is and tell her to be quiet...

if I'm busy, I just holler, acknowledging her "alert"...
but only if the intensity and timbre of her alert is not too high...
if she's at "defcon 4", I have to make an appearance...
or she might go through the window...

she doesn't get to that level too often anymore...
since I put her in the crate after a few, too intense, alerts...
so now she generally is content if she knows that I know...
she needs more training outside, which I'm hoping will happen soon...

I stopped giving her pig's ears...
[too many calories & too expensive...]
but she enjoys the occasional bone or "meat gone south"...
the change to diet dog food has also helped...
as she has lost about 5-7 lbs...

so on this 2nd dogiversary, I thank the GTs for rescuing her...
God for providing her as a companion & protector...
and even Molly, herself...
for putting up with a catperson and a houseful of kitties...
who love her and are glad she's here...

hopefully, for many more dogiversaries...

...onwards & upwards

2010-09-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

as I wait for approval of my mortgage modification...
I am in an "interesting" interval in the meantime...
a "holding pattern"of sorts...

definitely, a place I've never been before...

when I was younger, I used to take stairs 2 at a time...
never being concerned with the railing...
whether ascending or descending...

but now that I'm no longer as strong or agile...
stairs are a concern... railings, important...
and the ones before me have no railings, a steep pitch, no end in sight...

and look, just plain "scary"...

until the mortgage gets modified, [if, they accept my application...]
I have to pay the first mortgage, taxes & insurance...
which leaves about $600 to pay my utilities & gas[$250]...
food & supplies for me & the critters[$300]...
and about $50 for anything else...

so far this month, anything else has included...
vet visits, chiropractor visits, hair cut, etc...

I have never been in such a situation where there was NO fall-back position...
in the past, when money was short, there were always credit cards...
or my folks, or extra music income or some other answer...
so for me, these are un-chartered waters...

I guess God wasn't kidding when He said that He would be my only supply...

I received my car registration renewal in the mail today...
I've always just written a check & paid it right away...
or more recently, just gone online & paid it...
but I can't do that this time...

it's only $149, but I don't have any un-budgeted money...
at least until October arrives, and then things are still very tight...
but then I remembered that I'm going to earn $100 on Monday...
so now I only need to find the other $49...

and hope that the mortgage modification goes through...
and quickly too... the HUD counselor told me that 2 months is "quick"...
4 months is average and it could take as long as 6 months...
they could turn me down, but she doesn't think they will...

so in the meantime, I wait...

I can't file Chp. 13 until the mortgage is modified...
so until then, I'm receiving "hate mail" from the holder of the 2nd...
as well as the 4 credit card companies...

I say "hate mail", because the one advantage of no longer having a home phone...
is that they can't call me & try all their sleazy guilt trip tricks...
I have had enough of that to deal with already & don't need more...

when the 1st is modified, hopefully down to around $650...
[including taxes & insurance]...
and the bankruptcy court & the lawyer negotiate a monthly fee...
to be paid to the creditors each month for 3 years that I can live with...
then things will be better...

especially if I can receive Social Security benefits after October 22...
or if I can find even a small job...

of course, I'll be paying the lawyer for a while...

and I have some big bumps in the road coming up...
car registration renewal, 1st installment of property taxes...
car insurance renewal, dental insurance premium...
2nd installment of property taxes, car insurance renewal...

so this will be an interesting journey...

I really can't wait to see what He does next...

...welcome Fall !

2010-09-22T00:04:00.000-07:00

I love Fall so today, the autumnal equinox...
I welcome its closure, its colors, its light and its darkness...
for without darkness, we never appreciate the coming of the light...

...on the cusp of the autumnal equinox

2010-09-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

if I wasn't already aware of the impending seasonal change...
this would be a real wake-up call...
[& yes, it's from my tree...the huge one dwarfing the house...]

but since fall is my favorite season...
and I look forward to the cooler, wetter weather...
I'm always aware of Fall...

even so, this year seems special...

because even before the official demise of summer...
while warmish temps and sunny skies linger...
all around are the signs of things to come...
signs not always seen this early in this climate...

you see it in the tops of trees...
where the cool, damp evening air leaves its first marks...

and in distant bits of color...
that jump out at the eye in contrast to the summer green...
or primary color blossoms...

if you look closely, you can spot the green still lingering near the veins...
as the sycamore trees begin to turn brown & yellow...

since we had a wetter winter & cooler summer this year...
there is more, "turning"...
and less of the usual heat-driven dessication...
that provides no color, just drying up & falling off the trees...

no where is this lingering, "turning" effect more apparent...
than on the creeper...

on the ranch, it was in the trees...
and since it got watered consistently...
always put on a show of brilliant red...
this may be the first year I'll see that here...

since it's on the south[hot] side here...
and usually burns up in the late summer heat...
which we haven't had this year...

so here's hoping...

...kitty update

2010-09-17T00:04:00.000-07:00

after the 3rd day of flagyl for her diarrhea...
Mz Fluff is cured, happy & snoozing away peacefully...

the depo shot worked very well for Piglet too...
and so she's, "out & about" again too...

and everyone's enjoying the banquet of cat food...

good times in catland...

...more decorating with plants

2010-09-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

here are some more shots of my LR/DR as a work in progress...
[in the process of moving plants inside...
and attempting to keep them from being kitty salad bar, that is...]

this pothos seems to be thriving here...
[the old radio doesn't work anymore...can't get tubes for it...]
the kitties don't like to chew on pothos...
or the sanseveria that's been in that spot for quite a while, either...
[BTW: the oil painting,"Dried Artichokes" was re-framed a couple of years ago...
I bought it at an auction almost 40 years ago & still love looking at it...]

the split-leaf philadendron likes this spot...
so does the "money tree"...
but I have to keep an eye on how dry they get here...

this corner has the best northern & eastern light...
but is the worst for dryness as the fireplace is nearby...
& the floor furnace grate is under the table on the right...
so I have to monitor carefully during the heating season...

just to the right, next to the front door...
the fiddle-leaf ficus, a banyan root ficus, a shefflera...
as well as a couple of smaller plants...
all seem to be flourishing...

this maranantha, "cathedral windows", likes bright, indirect light...
and suffers from kitty nibbling...

speaking of "nibblers"...
Lacy takes a break from gnawing on the plant in front of her...
[some kind of dracenea...]
she's smart enough to NOT try the rubber tree...
[kitties don't like the taste of any kind of ficus sap...]

which is fortunate for the banyan root[aka ginsing] ficus...
and all the other varieties of ficus I harbor...

all this will look better when I de-clutter a bit more...
but for now, it's a work in progress...

...blessings for the kitties & Molly

2010-09-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

one of the challenges of my current financial situation...
is providing for my furry family...

10 senior kitties & one, always hungry dog...
can ruin a budget very quickly...

so I was thrilled when Square Peg told me that some pet food...
had been given to our food pantry at the church...
[we sometimes get food from stores that go out of business...
which was the case with this pet food...]

most of the cans of cat food were dinged & dented...
but some of my herd's favorite flavors were there...

not to mention 2 large bags of quality dry food for Molly...
so I gratefully put them into my car & took them home...
[probably $10 worth of cat food, $30 worth of dry dog food...]

but that wasn't all...

the next morning at the DOK meeting as I shared that blessing with the DOK's...
one of them said that she had almost a "case" of canned cat food in her car...
her cat had just died & she was going to donate it to someone who could use it...
and could I, perhaps, use it for my kitties...

I gratefully accepted and after the meeting, we went out to move it into my car...

I couldn't believe it...

not only nearly 48 cans, but they were my kitties favorite flavors...
[the ones they're used to which won't upset their digestions...]

the kitties have been very pleased...
since these smaller cans give them more variety...
and their favorite flavors to boot...

I need to mix Molly's regular that's left with this new dry...
so she tolerates it without any problems...

of course, there's always something else...

yesterday, I had to take Mz Fluff to the vet...

the diarrhea was back & my pet pharmacy drawer was empty...

the vet's always amazed by how healthy Fluff is for 18+ years...
and he gave me some pills for her diarrhea...
["flagel"...plus some extras to have on hand...]
as well as a container of Clavamox to have for kitty sniffles season...

as we were chatting, he set the Clavamox box down on the exam table...
with the flagel tablets, cut into quarters, in an envelope on top of the box...

Mz Fluff, who is NOT afraid of the vet at all...
was not amused that she was no longer the center of attention...
AND a bit pissed-off that he always finds her 1 remaining tooth, amusing...
was sitting with her back to us, flicking the tip of her tail...

choosing her moment, she flicked the envelope with her tail...
causing it to spin around on the top of the box...
which we both saw and were amazed by...

not deigning to repeat her "trick"...
she continued to sit with her back to us...
tail flicking every now & then...

so I began telling him how she gets my attention at home...
when she wants to be petted...

first she taps my arm with her paw...
if that doesn't get the desired response...
she taps again with 1 claw extended...
if I ignore that, then she taps with all claws extended...
and closes them on my arm if I ignore her again...

that generally draws blood... AND my attention...

so being a smart guy, the vet then started petting Fluff...
not wanting to see the claw trick, up close & personal...
which was all she wanted anyway...
and after some serious, Fluff appreciation by him...
she happily went back into the carrier for the trip home...

he always gives me a "VIP" discount[this time, it was $15 off...]
which was a good thing, since I had to bring in Piglet today...
her mouth lesions had returned, but a "depo" shot always works...
and lasts for months too...

I figure that the $ I had to spend at the vets...
was about equal to the cost of the food I received...

God is good... the kitties & Molly agree...

...planning ahead

2010-09-11T00:02:00.000-07:00

after a lifetime of being a cat staffer & gardener...
I've learned a few things...

house plants thrive during a warm weather season sojourn on my front porch...
but most need the protection of the indoors during the cold weather...

many years, I would get busy and put off the moving days...
with the needed re-potting, heavy lifting, house-cleaning...
& re-organization, not mention the window cleaning...
as well as the almost requisite, plant sulking that followed...
as they once again adjusted to being "cat salad bar"...
and I have often paid the price of frost-bitten or dried-out plants...

so I've been working on the premise that, "sooner is better", this year...

this plant, a favorite of mine, was almost dead, but came back...
then Mack started laying on it, killing some of the newest growth...
the wooden skewers have stopped that...
now if I could convince him that he shouldn't chew on it...

BTW, providing "grass", just for them to chew on, is NOT a solution...
they ignore any kind of grass grown just for them...
preferring instead a tasty fern or some other such flora...
that I don't want to see munched, clawed, nested in or peed-on...

I guess it's just,"a cat thing"...

this ficus replaces a couple that got infested with spider mites...
and finally died... it's a plain, old, sulky ficus...
the kind that flourish in "the right" place...
but drop ALL their leaves in a flash if conditions are NOT to their liking...

so it gets the tried & proven, ficus "right" spot...
lots of bright, indirect, light...
not too close to the fireplace or heater vents...
but with fresh air from the front door near by...

this one I've had for a while and just re-potted...
it has very dark green leaves and seems much more resistant to mites...
drying-out, lower light locations and leaf-drop...
I remember that it was advertised as much hardier...
so I hope it does well in front of the French door windows...
by the corner in the DR...nearest the front door...

the light isn't as bright but the ventilation is very good...

I lost my favorite "dagger leaf" ficus to Lacy's sharp little claws...
I didn't realize that she was scratching its trunk until it was a goner...
I'm staying alert with this one that has flourished on my porch...
I found it about 6 months ago for only $25...
& just couldn't resist replacing the other one...

Mz Murphy Brown seems to be eyeing it...
but is really just snooping & cruising for some attention...

here you see the LR, "in progress"...

and yes, that is the aforementioned Lacy...

snooping... and rubbing her head on the new pots...
[she likes the heavy pots & I'd much rather...
that she "marks" with her head than the "other" way...
so far, she's stayed away from the dagger-leaf ficus...

more pictures to come, as I work through the re-potting and moving-in phases...

...a walk around the block

2010-09-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

a walk around my neighborhood at this time of the year...
gives pause for thought...

fall is on the way...

you can sense it in the angle & clarity of the light...
smell it in the dampness of the early morning air...
hear it in the honking of unseen waterfowl...
as they make their journeys, south...
and feel it in the thickening fur of the kitties...

my tomatoes are starting to ripen a bumper crop...
here, they will often set into October...
and it's not unusual to harvest the last ones just before Thanksgiving...
though to most, they speak of lingering summer...

as do Morning Glories, still showing dew drops...
after 10 AM because the sun hadn't gotten there yet...

and to me, nothing says summer more than lantanas...
we had a huge, southern-facing, bed of them on the ranch...
haven for hummingbirds, giant moths & Swallowtail butterflies...
always killed by frost, but returning every spring...
to explode with color in the hottest months...

and the summer roses...

mine weren't pruned on time or properly fed this past year...
so they haven't been too showy...
unlike these I found along my way...

and then there's the creeper...

every day, a few more red leaves...
it has me hoping for a real show this year...
especially if we can avoid an "Indian Summer"...
our overnight lows are dipping down to the low 50's already...

it won't take much to paint the entire creeper red...
so I'm keeping my fingers crossed...