Friday, November 30, 2007

...cracks...

Ring the bells that still can ring....

Forget your "perfect" offering....

There is a crack in everything....

That's how the light gets in.


Leonard Cohen

Thursday, November 29, 2007

... what ever happened to ... ?

...so I'm outside, in the front, cleaning up after a spree of "winter" plantings and maintenance...[ removing old portulacas...they still try bravely to bloom, but it's past noon, what sun there is, is on them and the few remaining blooms are still tightly shut... [sigh ]
I have brought around to the front, the red & white cyclamen that "summer" in the back, in the shade,
and I have planted some wax begonias , mostly pinks and whites,
[finally...I've had them for months...]
and the violas, assorted "Penny Lane" and the "Johnny Jump-ups" I really like,
that had begun to languish under the lemon tree...
I need to deadhead the mums in the large pots, but, later for that...

Anyway, I'm pushing the cart with all the "debris" to the back,
where I'll put the spent portulacas in the garden refuse cart,
when a young man from a truck, now parked across the street, calls out to me...
[I had seen him going by in the other direction just a few minutes ago
and now, here he is...]

"Excuse me, m'am, we deliver meat to some of your neighbors...
...[yeah, right...he's out trolling for customers...]
and I'ld like to let you know about a special we're having on meat..."
...[like I'm going to by meat from a guy on the street... I once bought meat by mail and was not happy...and that was a reputable company ! ]

"No thanks, I'm not interested," I say, nicely, with a pleasant smile ...

" But, we have some really good items...filets and steaks, blah, blah, blah...", he continues, pressing on, despite my polite refusal... [now, he's arguing with me...]

"I don't eat meat ", I lie, showing no emotion...

"But, but, blah, blah, blah...",he continues, unabashed...[ I want to say, "What part of NO don't you understand ?..., but ,"in for a penny...", I repeat...]

"I don't eat meat"..... I continue my big fat lie, with a calm expression on my face and an even 'voice', even though I'ld like to smack this guy ! ...
[teaching 7th & 8th grade has prepared me for moments like these...]
I walk away, pushing the cart toward the garbage cans and he finally stops talking and leaves...
I finish my clean-up, water/wash off the porch and go inside, still shaking my head...

In 1978, when I was the Music Library Supervisor at VOPU, my college work study students would occasionally argue with me, but not often, and it was always politely couched as a "discussion"... when I began teaching 7th & 8th graders in 1984, they would argue with me more...[ they were ,after all, much younger and you expect less maturity...] however, the last 10 years or so that I taught, things were very different... same school, same ages, different attitudes... A final decision of "no" from me merely meant that "negotiations" had begun... whining, arguing and downright begging would continue until I had repeated my decision several times and then finally said, with a certain tone in my voice, "That's it, no more comments... I won't change my mind... I'm NOT your parents and I can't be 'worn down' until you get your way...if you keep it up, you won't like how this ends because now you are making me angry ! ..."
...a few years back, the more mature ones in the group would chime in and reiterate my warning ["She's not kidding.."]
...but the last couple of years that I taught, even my thinly-veiled warnings didn't work as well as they used to...
...I would have to raise the level of anger in my voice, the look of 'impending doom' on my face to get even part of the desired response...
...and even if they weren't openly arguing, no one would openly support my position...

This inability to hear and understand "no" is just a symptom of the maladies afflicting our society today...I believe that if our society falls apart completely, these sorts of tendencies will be at the core of the collapse. The young man I encountered today was not rude, just not listening and/or responsive to what I was saying ... we do this more and more as we converse face to face less and less...we are so used to making our point, we don't listen to the other person, and what's worse, we fail to respond... In the late 60's film, "The Graduate", Dustin Hoffmans' character is told, "plastics!" are the key to future success... today, it's communication...a meeting of minds that can only come from listening as well as expression of ideas...
I find myself interrupting people in conversation if I don't really concentrate... and I know better !
It's time to cultivate communication skills, before it's too late...
...to learn to listen to what people are saying and respond to that...
If they have nothing to say, listen politely, excuse yourself and move on...
There's a time and a place for debate, a simple "not interested" should indicate that this not that time or that place.

... ponder this...

...to laugh often...

...to win the affection of children...

...to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends...

...to appreciate beauty...

...to find the best in others...

...to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, or a garden patch...

...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...

This is to have succeeded !

R.W.Emerson

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

"Them"

They may see the good you do as "self-serving"...
...continue to do good...

They may see your generosity as "grandstanding"...
...continue to be generous...

They may see your warm and caring nature as "weakness"...
...continue to be warm and caring...

For , you see, in the end, it was only between you and God...
...it was never between you and them anyway...



author unknown

...gifts from the garden

....I went out, into the backyard to put away some cushions, take down the umbrella, cover the patio furniture for winter
....and then I saw it... I had seen it earlier in the day, while looking out the window as I talked on the phone with MM....hanging there, it's ruby skin glowing in the late afternoon sun, the pomegranate that had been too high to reach a month ago when I gathered them in
...and now, I saw it again, split open from rain, its' deeply red ariels glowing against the pithy membranes
....before, it had been too high, too small, too much trouble to bother with, but now, seeing that its' persistence had borne such a rich bounty....I had to have it !
...slowly , I made my way through the thicket to the foot of the tree
...carefully, so as not to injure my young tree, I pulled the thick branch down , until the prize was mine
.... I popped a couple of the red jewels in my mouth and, oh, what delight !... the extra month on the tree had sweetened the fruit as only a tree ripening can...it was sweet, mellow, luscious... not at all the too tart we often just put up with
...I'm saving it, to share...something this special should be shared with others who would appreciate it as I do, and I know just who they are...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

...things I've found in my mailbox...

Happy Things... : )

...a tax refund check [always a good thing...]
...a note or letter from a dear friend, far away
...my paycheck !
...a flower [when I was sick, a long time ago...]
...a LARGE can of Campbell's Chicken & Noodle soup [actually, on my doorstoop, but close...also a long time ago...]
...a long-awaited package !
...a check for over $150 from one of those "class action suits" against some company you dealt with,'way back when and you filled-out the card the lawyer sent to you, never dreaming it would be more than the $10 or so it usually is...
...a check for over $600 from the creep who took your $ and didn't install the whatever...[the state Contractors Licencing Board was on his butt..]

Not -So-Good things... : P

...yet another "scholarship campaign" letter from VOPU [Very Over-Priced University] reminding me that I still had the "opportunity" to 'be a part' of the fund-raising activities...
...an un-solicited package, from a "club" I already cancelled my membership in, containing something I will have to pay for if I don't send back....
...another "you have been pre-approved for credit" letter...
...another "this is your last chance to extend your vehicle warranty" letter [they've sent at least 15 over the last year]
...another "we're sure our previous offer of mortgage insurance has escaped your attention" letter [I noticed them as I threw them away...]
...another "offer" to redo my mortgage [I only get these for the 1st 6 months or so just AFTER I refi...]
...anything, at all , from Publishers Clearinghouse...
...those sneaky "your subscription is about to expire" letters from companies you don't have a subscription with [if you respond, you end up with 2 short subscriptions to the same mag...don't ask how I know this...]
...any letters including the words : "summons" & "jury duty", or "grand jury duty"
...any letter from any municipal or state law enforcement agency containing the words, "traffic violation" & "failure to appear" , along with a large, specified sum of money owed
...the bill, for services rendered for home repairs, by any plumber, electrician or the like...
...all correspondence containing any of the following phrases : " we have not yet received your payment.../we're sure this is an oversight.../if you've already sent in your payment, please ignore this".../if you haven't sent in your payment, please use the enclosed envelope..."
...chain letters

Really Bad Things : (

...any letter from the IRS that includes the words : "audit your tax return"...[2 times for me... yuck]
...ditto ,State Franchise Tax Board [ 0 times, but they piggyback onto the Fed...]
...a letter informing you that you are included in the group of defendants named in a lawsuit...
..."dear so & so, [I think we need to see other people/ it's not you ,it's me/ I hope we can always be friends/I love you, just not the way you love me/you're like a sister to me] ARGH !!!
...notification that someone you care for is dead
...all the subsequent reminders of your grief from all the agencies that have to be notified [sometimes, more than once...] and sent copies of the death certificate,letters and filled-out claim forms[deceptive at best...]which must be notarized and returned yesterday...
...just when you thought it was over,a bank statement, claiming an account you closed months ago is now overdrawn...
...your Pap test showed "undisclosed problems" and you need to schedule another one...
...your biopsy results show a malignant anything...
...a reminder of your root-canal procedure...
..."we regret to inform you that _____ Company has chosen not to renew your contract for the next year" [in other words,'get out !'
..."we regret to inform you that you were not selected to fill the position of _______, your background and skills do not meet our present needs".... ['way too many times...]

Monday, November 26, 2007

...driving Mz Ybee...

...a friend of mine, fellow singer, has to go to Ahnoldtown every so often...unfortunately, not for fun [see a show, bet the ponies, etc...]....no, she has to get a "shot" in one of eyes [NOT my idea of fun at all...]...so it's understandable that she needs a driver to shepherd her to and fro.... I started doing this last February, and coming home, that 1st time, we got into a fender bender [NOT a good beginning...]
....In my defense, I will say that my insurance company refunded EVERY PENNY of my deductible,[that's never happened before...Yay, 21st Insurance !] ...so I must have not been "at fault" [I didn't think I was anyway, but I digress...]
....During the 10 months I've been doing this, I've taken a "short cut" and gotten lost in suburbia ["circleland"], taken the wrong exit several times [ending up in the right place anyway : )...] and have discovered a "better route" by happy accident...
.... So today, after we arrive at the PRD, [Peoples Republic of Davis] Med Center in downtown Ahnoldtown, we must find a place to park in the "structure" for that purpose...[ they used to be called 'parking garages' before a sliding state pay scale made "structure" a better choice to score big contract $$$ ].... after playing chicken on a dimly-lit ramp, with an SUV the size of Rhode Island, we find a 'spot' on the 2nd floor and attempt to fit in... my car's a Honda Accord, the problem[s] are with the SUVs the general sizes of Montana and Texas I'm trying to fit in between [and still be able to open our doors to get out after parking, going out through the sun roof is NOT an option for me...]
.... After much more effort than necessary, we are finally on our way to the elevator for a 1 story trip down...I know, we could take the stairs, but then we would be taking our lives in our hands, crossing the view-obstructed ramp area and walking away from our eventual destination...
....So, we arrive at the elevator door, press "down" and we wait.... for the car to arrive,[takes a while...].....for the door to open [s-l-o-w-l-y]... for the occupants to walk or hobble out [ it IS a Med Center, people have 'issues' and I'm OK with that ] .... for the door to close [s-l-o-w-l-y]... then, the car moves down all of 15 feet [this takes at least 20 seconds, seems like forever ] ...the door opens [all together,now...] s-l-o-w-l-y...we disembark and head for the main building...
....After walking about 100 yards or so, we do the aforementioned, 'elevator shuffle', AGAIN ! , complicated by the fact that this is a bank of cars and everyone is scrambling when the lights go on, indicating a car... and... this one is slower, because there are more people waiting to go more places, it takes a while to load... [sigh]
....When we finally arrive in the Drs area, Mz Ybee always checks the "wait time" posted for each Dr....today, her Dr was "running" [why do they say 'running when they are 'way' behind ? ] 2 hours behind [almost on time for him...] Joy, Rapture, Bliss...
....I spend a pleasant rest of the morning [and into the afternoon], lounging in the coffee shop, drinking coffee and reading [when I'm not 'people watching']...
.... Sometime after 1 PM [we arrived at 9:30 AM...] Mz Ybee emerges and arrives at my table, "cool" in her 'shades', but today, in obvious discomfort from the shot [grousing is "normal-speak' for her, but this is different....] if the ministering Dr is 'good' then the shot doesn't hurt too much, [remember, it's IN the eye...] then she's smiling, laughing and relieved it's over... today, it was Dr 'Attilla the Hun',who was not only ham-fisted, he just didn't really seem to care much that he was hurting her, so she's not only in the most pain I've seen yet, she is pissed !...
....The prospect of lunch ,[a rather large, yummy-looking, hot dog,w/kraut & mustard, and a side of fries], do bring a smile to her face, but it is 'fleeting'...already afflicted with the 'sniffles' , she now has burning, teary eyes, as well as a runny nose to deal with...so it's chomp, sniff, sniff, honk, chomp, chomp," sniff, honk, etc, interspersed with nasty words for Dr "A t H", for the duration of lunch...
....After the meal, we're getting ready to leave, but wait ! ...she can't find her 'state-issued' special dark plastic 'lenses' to put behind the shades[after the shot, total darkness=less pain...] and she's mad at herself because ,"I just had them "....so we empty the back pack, [did I mention that she can't see much in this state ?], eventually finding said special plastic lenses and proceed to the car [see above for elevator sequence, which is repeated, AGAIN...]...
....As we leave the 'structure', there is a detour, so we have to go on a brief 'round-a-bout' tour of the PRD Med Center parking 'area', but finally find our way out and are headed home...as I'm executing a lane change, a couple of cars decide to see if I want to play, 'we'll hang in your blind spot so you can't change lanes', [did I mention that to avoid 'light' and pain", Mz Ybee now has her coat over her head,{looking like Cousin it, without the hat }, and I can't see around her ?], just then, a sheriff's car goes by on the other side, lights, siren, the whole bit, distracting me even more, but , I manage to see around Mz Ybee [coat and all], complete my lane change, avoid getting hit and am now entering 99, going south... south is good, 99 , not so much....[ I meant to continue over to 5...] but we can deal with adversity, just please, no more distractions...
....So we meander back to Mudville, [over the river...], with Mz Ybee trying to be understood in "Cousin It" mode and me "uh,huh-ing" a lot when I've already said,"what was that ?" an embarrassing number of times.... and eventually, we arrive at Mz Ybees' just after 3 PM .....emerging from the coat/hood and having had much more than "enough", she says, "I'm going to take a nap, see you later..." and disappears into her house...
....I drive to the store for "stuff for soup" [ lentil, tomorrow, with sausage and kale...], then it's home .....leaving me with a new sympathy for those who drive a daily commute as well as those who get shots in their eyes...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

...holes...

...in my last blog, I mentioned that I felt like a man in a hole, who, try as he might, couldn't get out.... I said that I figured that there were two choices... asking Jesus to help me "appreciate the hole" or doing what I've always done, bury my pain and "move on"... but Jesus had another alternative in store when I turned to him... one I had never expected or experienced before... I could stay in the hole and try to "appreciate" it, [ " in all things give thanks..."], I could even bury my pain in it and try to "move on"...[ not easy, down there in that hole...] or, I could look around, outside my hole and find that Jesus had sent some fellow travelers to help me .... who without a thought for themselves, jumped right into the hole with me... at first, I was concerned that in trying to help me out of the hole, they had trapped themselves in something unpleasant, but they persisted because they had been in the hole before and they knew the way out that I couldn't have found alone...
....you spend years "questing"...for truth, love, acceptance, the hearts you can connect with,.... and when you run out of your own resources, you turn to God... and if you are like most of us, you have a "list"... what you want, what you'll settle for... and so forth...
....you want to be loved ...."no matter what or who you are"......God will do that... most people don't... most will love you for who you are for them... a lover, soulmate, helper, enabler... the list is long...how do they feel about themselves when they are around you ? are you the doer of all chores, a servant, the fantasy playmate, the ideal mate, "trophy wife or husband" ...football star, cheerleader ? do you fit the criteria they have for someone they want to be seen with...be a partner with ? how do you look, what groups do you belong to, are you one of "them" or are you one of "those people" ? diversity or eccentricity can be daunting things if "fitting in" or "what others think" is important to you...
.... when you find fellow travelers who can learn the worst about you and honestly say that it makes no difference to them and accept you, as you are, offering their love and friendship, you are consorting with those who know Jesus well....
.....when helping a friend takes precedence over helping yourself or personal comfort, the world is a better place....
.... when someone can open their heart, mind and arms to you, over and over, in His love, you are blessed indeed....and you have begun, with their help, to fill-up that hole, so you won't ever again fall back in it.... and Jesus smiles...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

... "how terribly strange..."

...I've been drowning in memories lately, looking at pictures ... young people, full of life and promise, now gone...much of my life, past...how do I deal with this gathering "gloom" ?....there's a Simon & Garfunkle song, "Bookends", it speaks of old friends, who sit on the park bench, like bookends....at one point, the poet muses, ..."how terribly strange to be seventy..." of course, first hearing this when I was 19 or 20 years old, the poignancy of that line didn't catch my ear...now, as I approach 60 and realize that I have already lived most of my life ... that I have managed to not "fit" in most of it, that I've screwed-up a lot of things and that I'm running out of time .... that line keeps coming back to me... and it's scary...my faith in God is not the question...when Mom was dying, I didn't blame God and I don't blame Him for all of my faults that have always kept me at a distance from most people...He doesn't make me feel totally out of step, I do it to myself...I'm not sure why I keep battling with myself and losing, but I do....I've hidden behind a wall of fat and tried to bury my pain in "things", cats, activities, food... the fact that I've never developed an alcohol or drug addiction is a miracle of God... I've had a few "moments" where I came close to "being like other people", but in the end, the way I've gone has always been a self-imposed, semi-isolation, generally suppressing enough angst to allow me to appear content and to function...and as long as I keep my distance, everybody seems happy ....I guess I just don't know how to "be" so everyone's OK with me....my eccentricities, manner and appearance generally do me in as far as most people are concerned...I've spent time with a counselor, who told me that I wasn't appreciated and that I was a good person....I knew that, but me knowing and believing it doesn't make anything different .... when I was younger, the intensity to make myself someone who could be a part of things would always drive people away...how many times can you be told that you are " the problem" before you accept it and stop trying ? how long before "withdrawing" from those you care about, but annoy, seems the kindest thing to do for everyone ? ....maybe it's the "season" ....maybe I'm just sad and tired ...maybe I miss people and places that are gone ....maybe , I blinked and I was old...I feel like the man in the hole...the harder he tried to climb or dig his way out, the deeper the hole got....perhaps I need to pray that Jesus will help me appreciate the hole, or maybe I'll just do what I've always done ... bury my pain and just move on, after all, I really don't think there is an answer beyond endurance... if there is, it has eluded me all my life ....so here I am...in the fall or maybe winter of my life and though I still "hope" to find my path to being truly a part of this world, I seem to fall back into a place, where despair tugs at my sleeve and the failures of the past mock my efforts to grow ... a state that is best described as, "terribly strange..."

Friday, November 23, 2007

...and you thought the Bumpus' dogs were bad...

....as I write this, at 12:20 AM, I'm surrounded by the true turk-o-philes in my life, Macky, Lucyfur, Mattcatt, Thomas, MJ, Sneaky Pie and, of course Gracie [who is actually eating crunchies, a probable protest of the closure of the bathroom door (her favorite haunt), when I was gone...I returned after midnight with remnants of the glorious repast I shared with Miz Minka and Mr Greenthumb today and really planned on preparing "kitty turkey feast" tomorrow....but as soon as the bags were in the house, it was life, imitating art [if you consider Cat-mas Carols art...] first, it was Sneaky into the bag with the turkey scraps...I no sooner shooed her away when Thomas got a wiff and began crying piteously and pestering me as I tried to carry the bags into the kitchen without tripping over him, as he wound himself in and out between my feet.....soon, as I attempted to store left over dressing, etc...I was constantly running from 'fridge to counter, fending off another "attack" on the bag containing the bag of "kitty scraps"...so I gave up...I stashed most of the food in the fridge, but cut up the scraps from the bag [ tail,neck,skin,fat etc] and came up with a full plate which I divided onto 2 plates and stepped back...a good move because the last time I saw felines move in that fast and eat with that much gusto,it was a pride of starving lions that had bagged an antelope on the Serenghetti being shown on the Discovery Channel.....what few small scraps that still remain now are being enjoyed by Thomas and Sneaky Pie,[the others are full...], they sit , opposite each other,at separate plates, chewing, each watching the other for a false move, [this is closer than they generally get without general mayhem...]...and now, even they are full.....tomorrow, I will strip the carcass and another major feast or two will ensue... All day today, Minka was so well behaved around the food, never even seemed too interested... the moment the merest scent of turkey hit my little herd's noses, it was "open season" [with me merely the "provider"]...I'm going to bed after an extremely nice and "fun" day....I can't remember when I've had such a good Thanksgiving ...marvelous food, lots of good conversation, lots of laughter and very good company... my heartfelt thanks to Miz Minka, Mr Greenthumb and Minka [the cat who hid all day...] for their generous hospitality...it was all a very good thing ...and to all , a good night !

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

...of feasting and prepping, and cats that jump onto curtain rods in the night...

...this has been a busy day so far and it's not done yet... I've been cooking[roasting sweet potatoes w/olive oil and Kosher salt, pan roasting baby Brussels sprouts in EVOO & K.salt, cooking green beans "Southern"(aka to death...)with sauteed onion and garlic in EVOO/butter/K.salt and ground pepper, making a "rub" for the turkey(softened butter,K.salt minced garlic,sage, oregano, rosemary,thyme) and soon, the stuffing(cornbread/herb) all to be assembled in the bird at Miz Minka and Mr Greenthumbs tomorrow AM...Miz Minka is crafting a slaw, mashed potatoes, dessert, beverage and, I'm sure, other such feast necessities as there may be...there will be, of course, a gravy built on drippings...yumm...
...so while I was "cooking", J was busy prepping, painting,etc, as this is his last workday for 3 weeks...so we'll see just how much I can get done without his invaluable help... the good news is : I got rid of the old window treatments and hardware[bright brass, clunky,looked tacky and Gracie broke part of it perching there...]...I get to buy new window treatments that actually match the rest of the house ! ... Bad news...?....I have to BUY new window treatments...money pit- 612, homeowner-0...unless you count the intangible things like satisfaction,pride,ect... [I wonder if the bank will take a "pride"check for my next mortgage payment...?]
oh, well... a short life and an indebted one...at least there are no more debtors prisons...[unless there is something "they" aren't telling me...] now if only Sneaky Pie would learn to take "direction", then she could make $$ doing commercials and I could re-retire, as it is, any picture of her is blurry or if it's very clear, she's washing her butt... sigh... perhaps Charmin needs a new spokescat, now that Mr. Whipple has passed on...there are real possibilities for "talents" to converge there.... I have to look into that....

Monday, November 19, 2007

...dry rot,old moulding and a lovely stained glass window









...the skilled craftsman/carpenter came again today, much like Santa, his visits are much anticipated and when he leaves, so many "good things" remain behind...today, he framed and put in my stained glass window where the old window AC had been...using just scraps from his truck, he copied the existing window/door trim[butt-joint corners,inset "shelf,angled moulding cap w/mitered corners] it looks perfect ! I have seen Craftsman bungalows with stained glass above the built-ins around the fireplace and that's what this looks like...he got the balance/ratio perfectly matched to the existing trim....unfortunately ,while doing paint-prep, I had found DRY ROT in a French door window sash[water damage] and had dug out the crumbly,dry mess, taking out 3 pieces of moulding[80 year old trim...] and hollowing-out a small area of the bottom of the window frame...so, I went outside to see if the damage went all the way through and, of course it did...so I cleaned out that and removed the bottom glazing from the bottom 2 courses of window panes on the 1st French door,the middle one was OK,as it was a real door[no glazing], but the far door was as messed-up as the first[glazing-wise], so I removed the bottom 2 courses there too.... then J arrived, and seeing my consternation[ dry rot will do that to you...], he agreed that the re-glazing, rot hunting and repair was the priority today...he cleaned off the outside bottom mouldings,scraped them, [no rot,hurray !], re-glazed 12 window panes, further cleaned out the rot hole and used caulking sealant everywhere possible [including inside the rot hole]...while he was doing that,the S.C./C. had finished the window [did I say it looks great ? it does !] so we called the lumber yard to try to find a replacement for the 80 year old moulding that was now "toast"...once we confirmed they had some, I went on a "field trip" to South Mudville to get the moulding... when I got there, the man handed me "quarter round"[the toe moulding you use on floors], I said,"...uh, no..."...then he offered me a flat moulding, again, I said..."no"... then I spied a piece of moulding that was sort of "V' shaped...what I wanted was wedge-shaped,... I held my small piece of old moulding next to the "V" shaped stuff... it was the same size as mine on both sides and could be cut down so it would "work"..[if this is beginning to remind you of "The 3 Bears", that's exactly how I felt...] so I got a piece about 5' long and brought it back to the wonderful S.C/C who cut it to an almost perfect match, replaced the 3 pieces I had "lost"to rot, nailed them in place and made me a few extras out of the rest...what a guy ! so thanks to Mr. S.C./C and J., it's been a day of progresses and little victories, here, in the "money pit" I call home...and did I say how great that window looks ? It surely does !

Sunday, November 18, 2007

the cat whisperer...

we all know that a cat's gonna do what a cat's gonna do...so why, then, do we get so annoyed when they do it ?...in my case, I think it's often because I fail to "head 'em off at the pass...", in other words, they outwit/outsmart/outrun[pick all that apply] me and make me look "less than brilliant", [I HATE that... almost as much as a cat does], but I digress... as I have illustrated before,
[see any/all "homeowner follies"blogs...]..I live in an old [c. 1929-30] house that is doing a good imitation of a "money pit" lately and I'm following in the footsteps of "Mr.Blandings"["Mr.Blandings Builds His Dreamhouse" Cary Grant,194-something.....so, in my blog of 11/13,[sooner or later...], I detailed a few misadventures of the homeowner kind, but left out one of the cat staffperson-kind...as the drawers were out of the built-in dresser in the hall to be primed and a piece of cardboard had been employed as a "cat-deflection"device (since the inside of the dresser led under the house[into 'possumland'] and outside to FREEDOM[think : Braveheart]), this was VERY necessary to preserve the health of the kitties and my sanity...J had "secured"[he has a dog...] the cardboard in a manner secure to him ,but yet, an "invitation" to a cat... he noticed it was "down" and then saw Gracie, snooping inside, beyond arms reach , but not yet out of sight...Gracie had been a bit "miffed " anyway, as she had been "ignored" and not properly "feted"[only an occasional pat or sweet word...] the ENTIRE day to this point...now, of course, she was center stage and loving it ,[I'm ready for my close-up...]...I used my "teacher"voice, scourge of 7th & 8th graders for 20+ years and cats for longer than that, she flicked her tail... I got down on the floor, she moved farther in.... I dangled an extension cord, using my best "enticement" voice, more tail-flicking... of course, now, the others are coming to Mom's sweet,"kitty, kitty" voice and looming too close...I shooed them away and opened, a can of FOOD !... now she's yawning and losing interest, turning around ,"to explore"...at this point, Mr. Skilled Cabinet-Maker/Carpenter said, "You want her out ? I'll get her out"...after checking that he did NOT have the Sawsall in his hand, I said, "OK". He came to the opening,talking softly to Gracie,who was instantly captivated by him...she came right up to him to be petted and after a few pets and a few "meows",[SHE doesn't understand my "specialness"...] she allowed him to pick her up and hand her to me...as we re-secured the dresser area, Gracie, very much "smitten", continued to tell Mr. S.C.M./C. how nice he was, how available she was, how mean I was,etc... this is a cat who had been in the same house all morning and into the afternoon with this man, had said "Hello" and passed the time of day like a normal feline[...pretty much ignored him...], and was now, absolutely besotted with him... he had calmly said, before she came to him, that he charged $1.50 for "cat retrieval", so when I paid him later that day for the shutters and the closet door, I added on $1.50, and wrote on the check, "carpentry and cat retrieval "...I figured it was worth it just for the goofy look on Gracies' face...that cat owes me big time...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

...sooner or later...

...over 2 years ago when I got fed-up with trying to make the cheap fiberglass/plastic shutters work in my breakfast nook, I stopped "channeling Mom" [aka making do with cheapest or doing without...] and spent $$$ at Smith and Nobel on custom basswood shutters for said nook...it took 6 weeks for them to be built [custom,after all...] and when they arrived, sometime in early 2006, [exact dates are hazy...] , the 4 boxes sat in the living room,behind the front door...waiting... waiting for the other dozen or so boxes of furniture, etc... to be constructed [thank you to Miz Minka and Mr Greenthumb...], for the nook to be "cleaned out" and "organized" [thanks again to Miz Minka, whose patience was tried by my packrat-ness [ "no, you can't have More of those, NOOOOO ! "...]and the general debris field of Mom's stuff in the dining room to move to the garage, [thank you, Joe...now if I could only find my lawn mower...] but there was also this other problem...after spending $$$ on these "high-end" shutters, I needed a "finish carpenter "or cabinet maker to properly install them... they were wood and would need to be individually "sized" to the parallelograms pretending to be rectangular windows in my nook...so a skilled craftsman, with proper tools was a must... several "false" starts left me discouraged [sorry Billy Joe Bob, I don't have a band saw you can borrow...]...then one day while I was at the chiropractors, I saw a business card on the bulletin board for a cabinet maker [turns out he built the counter in my Drs office...]...so I called him and after a lot of work, a craftsmans skill and much appreciated help from friends...I have shutters in my nook ! no longer will anyone passing by see in as I do things in the kitchen after dark...no longer do I have to remember to be "fully clothed" to go to the kitchen for a drink of water in the middle of the night...no longer will the hot summer sun make that room an oven...and the shutters look amazing !...worth every cent for construction and installation !!
we also took out the wall AC unit [now I have central AC/heat] and the carpenter will frame a stained glass piece to fit where the AC was [it was a double-hung window years ago, but only the top part is left open now...]...and besides that, we are making progress on washing woodwork [Murphys Oil Soap,Multisurface spray is WONDERFUL !], sanding, spackeling, filling cracks, mending holes in the plaster[ thermostats were moved,test holes made..etc.].... all the" fun", paint-prep stuff... tomorrow, the "hall" will get primed with oil-based primer to seal in the old lead based oil paint on it now [80 year old houses are such fun !]...then there's cleaning the wood floors [currently "shielded by a thick, protective coat of grime...] and finally the actual painting...my target date is "by Christmas" ....2008 might be more realistic...more than 4 years ago, I began this journey... Mom's illnesses and her death last January seemed to constantly interrupt my progress and sap my energy... and then there was all the stuff I couldn't throw away[Lord knows, we tossed TONS]...but it all seems to fade now, with the hope that comes from having those shutters up and looking so "right",and, that someday, [soon!], this will be done, so I can move on to my office... and bedroom... and, ARGH, THE GARAGE ! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Silver Cats #8

Kitty litter,spread like glitter,
all a-round the cat box...in the
air, there's an o-dor of cat pee
I just cleaned it, all the cat crap
had been put in the trash , and all
o-ver the floor,once again,we have...

kitty mess, kitty mess
it's smel-ly time in my poor house
eve-ry-where,there is hair
soon, I will be section 8

gobs of cat hair, but do they care,
that's a big, fat,loud NO !
it is now, hairball time on the sofa,
see them hack-ing,see them yack-ing,
hair-ball af-ter hairball, a-s
under the table they sit, and spit...

kitty mess, kitty mess,
things can get ug-ly at my house.
es-pec-ialy, when they pee..
every-where but, where they ought..

smelly cat pee, by the ficus tree and on
all the baseboards..in the
air, there's the odor of "kitty"...and the
cat poop, by the door stoop, that I
just failed to see...'til I
slipped in it, wrenching my knee..OH

kitty mess, kitty mess,
why can't I train them to clean-up ?
even though, I grumble so,I'm
just glad that they let me stay...

The Cat-mas Song [#7]

Hairballs lying on the leat-her chair
cat barf sticking to my toes,
yowling kitties, ar-guing by the fire, and
cat box, full to o-ver-flow...Ev-ery-bo-dy
knows, that cat pee and a pile of poop...
help to make the carpet "right"...
growling cats, with their fur all bushed-out, will
keep me from my sleep, tonight...They don't care
if, I sleep or not, as long as lots food is found upon "the spot",
and every rotten cat is gon-na try,
to see if they can real-ly sneak out-side, and so,
I'm off-er-ing this sim-ple phrase, from
one ,who knows a cat or two, al-
though, it's been said, ma-ny times,
ma-ny ways, Mer-ry Cat-mas,t-o you...

Jingle Cats cat-mas carol # 6

Dashing through the house,
with her furry mouse,
through the air she flies,
"now this mousie DIES !"
gone the eyes and nose,
never did have toes,
now the stuffing and the tail
have vanished as she goes, OH----

Sneaky Pie, Sneaky Pie,
she, the cat of lore...
kills the "mousies" and the catnip
toys brought from the sto-re,
Sneaky Pie, Sneaky Pie,
leaps and pounces quick,
but if someone wants to share,
she'll have a hissy fit.

40 minutes gone, the
furry mouse is toast...
only wet fur left, as
Sneaky now will boast...
Thomas, not amused,
will now pee on the corpse,this
in-sult can-not go un-ans-wered,
Thomas cat MUST DIE, OH----

Sneaky Pie , Sneaky Pie,
scheming cat , now lurks,
on a chair,with eyes half-closed...
but her hubris works...
Thomas strolls, into view,
unaware she's there....
big mistake, her paw darts down and
smacks him you-know-where.

Flying through the house,
Thomas on her tail,
Her revenge complete,
now, cunning cannot fail.
Quick, find Moms' locale
and hide between her feet,
hissing back at Thomas cat,
Ah, revenge is sweet, OH----

Sneaky Pie, Sneaky Pie
she, the cat of lore,
kills the" mousies" and the catnip
toys brought from the sto-re,
Sneaky Pie, Sneaky Pie,
Queen of Everything...
"I am wonderful",she boasts as
from her perch, she sings !

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The 12 gifts of Cat-mas...#5 cat-mas carols

On the 1st day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me,
a dead mousie by the TV....

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me,
2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me,
3 fish[not swimming],2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV....

On the 4th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me,
4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming], 2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV....

On the 5th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me...5 sh-red-ed plants-
4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming], 2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

On the 6th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me, 6 drool-soaked spiders, 5 sh-red-ed plants...
4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming], 2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

On the 7th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me, 7 peed-on places, 6 drool-soaked spiders, 5 sh-red-ed plants,
4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming],2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

On the 8th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me, 8 lizards dying, 7 peed-on places,6 drool-soaked spiders, 5 sh-red-ed plants,4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming], 2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

On the 9th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me, 9 evil glances, 8 lizards dying, 7 peed-on places,6 drool-soaked spiders, 5 sh-red-ed plants, 4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming], 2 nasty hairballs and dead mousie by the TV...

On the 10th day of Christmas , my kitty gave to me, 10 broken knick-knacks, 9 evil glances, 8 lizards dying, 7 peed-on places,6 drool-soaked spiders, 5 sh-red-ed plants, 4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming], 2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

On the 11th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me, 11 crapped-on letters, 10 broken knick-knacks, 9 evil glances, 8 lizards dying, 7 peed-on places, 6 drool-soaked spiders, 5 sh-red-ed plants,4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish [not swimmimg],2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

On the 12th day of Christmas, my kitty gave to me, 12 grasshoppers hopping, 11 crapped-on letters, 10 broken knick-knacks, 9 evil glances, 8 lizards dying, 7 peed-on places,6 drool-soaked spiders, 5 sh-red-ed plants,4 piles of cat barf, 3 fish[not swimming], 2 nasty hairballs and a dead mousie by the TV...

O Cat-mas Tree , vers 1.1

O Christmas tree, O Christmas Tree,
how lovely are your branches...
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
you give me lots of chances...
I bat your balls and bite your lights,
and , just for fun, I scale your heights...
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
you are my favorite cat toy !

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
I love your shady hide-out...
when I've been "bad", I'm very glad,
that Mom can't get behind you...
I pee in plants and scratch the couch...
then hide in you when Mom's a grouch,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
I hate to see E-phi-pha-ny

Silent Night ? cat-mas carol #3

Si-lent night,
no-o cat fights...
yet, I fear,
one is near...
"thunk", the sound,of a
cat leap-ing down...
"whoosh", the sud-den "flight",
"crash", somethings down ...
now the growling
will st-art,
n-ow the growl-ing will start...

si-lent night, no
long-er in sight...
growling ,hiss
that was-n't a kiss...
"you took my catnip,
you blank-ty blank"
"li-ar, it's MI-NE, you
blank, blank ,blank, blank..."
"Die, you evil fat
hate-ful bitch"
"Eat shit and die,
you vile wretch"

vi-olent night,
no rest in sight, I
guess I'll get up and
stifle the fight ...
I open the door and to my tired ears,
nary a cat ,nor a sound ,do I hear,
all my house is at pe-ace
a-ll my house is at peace

it's almost light,
so much for night...
not much sleep,
so I creep...
out, to see what my kitties have wrought,
and what do I find ? Nothing's left that I bought,
just the debris and on the heep,
kitties are curled , fast asleep....

Sly Cat, Sneaky Pie [Good King Wenseslaus] Cat-mas carol #2


Sly cat, Sneaky Pie looked down,
from her perch, so lofty...
on the top shelf nested she,
on the oatmeal boxes...

She watched Creamer saunter past,
unaware of danger...
then she swooped down, steal-th-ly,to
catch the Creamer, un-a-ware...

Stealthy, stealthy Sneaky Pie,
as she creeps up closer...
blissful, naive Creamer cat,
never saw her coming...
suddenly, that rotten Tom,
leaps into the picture,
scatter-ing them both in fright, with
screams and growls and h-is-ses

Now , the cat fight's really on,
round and round they're racing,
yowling, screetching, mad as hell, no
prisoners there're taking...
Creamers' gone to "higher ground" ,
watching all the chaos...
Sneaky's calling Thomas names,
nice cats never m-en-tion ...

World War 6 is close at hand when
Sneaky screams at Thomas...
"Here comes Mom, you blank, blank, blank, she's
gon-na kick your butt now",
Sneaky leaps back up on high, hiding in her re-fuge...
Thomas, sulks and stalks away,
seeking to be-co-me "scarce"

Sneaky Pie binds up her wounds,
[ mostly injured pri-de],
plotting death and sweet revenge,
[Thomas cat WILL die..!].
As she yawns and stretches there,
sloth o'retakes her venom, to-
morrow is another day and
he can wait, it's na-p time

Saturday, November 10, 2007

"Cat-a-Pan"[Cat-mas carol # 1]

"Gracie takes her long sharp claws and she shreds up anything,
she can create 'slaw' from plants,
hee,hee,hee,hee,heeeee,
Sneakie Pie on high,
as she watches Gracie slice and dice a-way, oh, my !"

"Sneaky stretches out her paw to join in in the may-ham,
as her claws come out to slash,
hiss,hiss,hiss,hiss,hisss,
Lucy makes a dash,
as she lands there with a crash, making junk out of all my cache"

"Enter "Mom", who's really mad, 'cause the cats have been, oh, so bad,
and she's lo-wer-ing the "boom",
scram, scram, scram ,scram, SCAT !
you e-vil rot-ten cats !
and the cats me-re-ly sm-irk back...[heee,heee]
(sung to the tune of "Pat-a-Pan")

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

"x" marks the spot...

...large ,heavy pieces of cardboard can be so useful when one is in a full-on cleaning/painting mode... J had been using just such a large piece to cover the wood floor in the "hall"[it's really a "box in the middle of my house that leads everywhere and is mostly trim{doors,built-in cupboards,closets}] while spackling, scraping and sanding the old[nasty lead-based painted] wood trim, prior to painting...there are 2 metal grates[furnace return vents] in the floor and since the sunny, warm weather wouldn't be here much longer, I wanted to paint them today,leaving 2 more for tomorrow...so in an effort to keep kitties from an intimate knowledge of the duct system,we decided to cover the whole area with the cardboard, marking 2 boxes where the grates "weren't",and putting a large "x" in each "box", to remind us both NOT to step there...all went well for hours, despite a couple of fancy steps to avoid the "x"s...then, when we were ready to return the now-painted and dry grates to their spots, what did we find , but Gracie, "Cat of Danger", making quite a "hammock" of one of the "boxes" on the cardboard...lucky for her, there was a good border around her box, or she would have been Gracie of the "cat"acombs[ducting system]...she wouldn't move and had to be pushed from her "spot"...now that the grates are back, she keeps eyeing the one that replaced her cardboard hammock...I can't wait to see where she will establish residency next...

Monday, November 5, 2007

...the last roses

...my roses are stunning...the Peace roses with their pink,yellow and cream, the Bonanza with it's peachy apricot...the fragile pinks of "Touch of Class" that fade to crimson edges, the deep reds and the surprise of snowy white...they like the autumnal light and cooler weather...it seems they always have an early flush in April or May, but the final grand flourish before the winter storms and cold weather dim their beauty, are always their crowning glory...I suppose I can only hope to echo them , as I enter the autumn of my years, as the pace slows, the light fades and all retreats inside against the cold and dark to come...may I have the grace to reach toward the fading light and bring beauty to the world as long as I can ,even as I prepare for the winter to come...

Thursday, November 1, 2007

...heavy thoughts for All Saints/All Souls

...all we are or were , we leave behind, all is vanity, turning to dust...all that we truely have, we also leave, for we only have it to give away...the tighter we grip, the quicker it goes... or as a wise man once said, "I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam", Popeye, the Sailorman [toot, toot]